There’s usually at least one in every church. You know, the young woman whose clothes are a bit too revealing. You probably surmised correctly that her Sunday dress is conservative compared to what she wears the rest of the week.

This girl loves the attention she receives from guys. She has (perhaps subconsciously) learned that the tighter her dress and the lower the neckline, the more men notice her. Whether she doesn’t stop to consider how she is making men stumble, or she simply doesn’t care, the most important thing to her is that heads turn when she walks by.

The truth is that there will be a man who wants to marry her. In fact, he may be a member of your church. Tragically, what she doesn’t realize is that she won’t be attracting a godly young man, but the guy who is secretly addicted to pornography. He is enamored with body parts, not consecration to God.

This provocative compromiser cannot see what is really in store for her. She is marrying this guy because he is feverishly in “love” (interpret: lust) with her. She longs for a man who will worship her—and he will, for awhile. But before long he will grow bored with her body and return to his pornography… or worse.

"She longs for a man who will worship her—and he will, for awhile. But before long he will grow bored with her body and return to his pornography...or worse."

Eventually, she will be looking for counseling. I can quote almost verbatim what she will say because I have heard it so many times: “I’ve been married for ___ years and I just discovered that my husband has been unfaithful,” she will exclaim incredulously. “I can’t believe it! I had no idea! He deceived me!”

“Yes, he deceived you,” I would say to console her. I probably wouldn’t have the heart to share with her the rest of my thoughts: “My dear, the reason you couldn’t discern who you were really marrying was because you have been so far from God yourself. Can’t you see that you wanted a man who would worship your body and that’s exactly what you got? Yes, you can divorce this guy, but if something doesn’t change in your heart, you will simply attract the same type of man again. You have relied on your looks for your value as a person, but what will be left for you when you turn 50 and your body is no longer desirable?”

How different will be the story of that modest and godly young woman who is also in your church. Her beauty is not skin deep, but is found in “the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:4) She too will attract a man, but he won’t be selfish and carnal. His beauty will also be found in his inner life with God. He will have a true love for his wife—you know, the kind of devotion that lasts a lifetime.

Yes, it is certainly true, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)


Kathy Gallagher is the Co-Founder and Senior Administrator of Pure Life Ministries. She has been ministering to Christian women for over 20 years and has a deep desire to see them living a fulfilled life in Christ.
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