God's Faithfulness to Me and My Family
I thought I had a pretty good life. With a wife, baby girl, house and a high paying job, I was successful by most American standards. Raised in church and having had a salvation experience when I was seventeen, my life was basically on cruise control—physically and spiritually. However, I had a dark secret. I had been consuming immeasurable amounts of pornography since I was eleven years old. I thought after being married, it would stop. But throughout the course of our marriage, pornography only tightened its grip on me. I went so far as to adjust my schedule so that my wife would leave the house before me, allowing me to spend a few minutes with pornography to start my day.
Eventually, I began to live a completely separate fantasy life. Fantasy became reality when I began having an adulterous affair with a co-worker. I admitted my unfaithfulness to my wife only after being caught with cell phone records. My life changed in an instant and my family was destroyed.
I learned about Pure Life Ministries and instantly knew I had to get away from my circumstances, so I enrolled in the Residential Program. I had nothing but a bed and a job making $8.50 an hour. It didn’t take long for the Lord to get my attention, and I soon realized that He was calling me to Himself by taking away everything that was dear to me.
I gave up on trying to fix my marriage and began to seek Jesus. As I read the Bible, attended chapel services and spent time with my counselor, I started to see my true dark condition. His Word forced me into a corner. I had a choice to make – Jesus or the world.
The Lord revealed Himself to me and that was enough to put me in awe of Him. I learned that my pride, selfishness and overall sinfulness put Jesus on the cross. Without Jesus, I had no hope. I desperately needed Jesus. This revelation drove me to true repentance. I remember praying and asking Him to show me the reality of His saving power. He did that by setting me free of sexual sin and drawing me to Him and Him alone.
When I returned home to my family, I was equipped with a true sight of my need for Jesus in every detail of my life. The Lord didn’t give me the same life back. Rather, He gave me a new marriage and a new focus on Him. My life is real since I returned home. There is no darkness in our marriage—no hidden sins, resentment, anger or lies. I don’t have all the answers, but I know who does, and He is faithful.
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