How do I Cope with His Homosexual Sin?
I found out my husband has been looking at gay porn and talking with other men. I had to have him leave. I have prayed and interceded on his behalf during our separation. How can I deal with this deep hurt? How can I understand this?
First of all, you need to understand that his choices have nothing whatsoever to do with you as a woman. I am sure that if you would delve deep enough you would find that he has always struggled with this sin.
Many times, the deep sorrow and grief that we experience is God’s way of doing a much deeper work within us than we can even imagine.
We ask the Lord, to deal with us, dig deeper, make us more effective in His work. “Lord, use my life,” we plead. But, God’s answers to those prayers are never quite what we are expecting. When God’s process of taking us deeper begins, our first reaction is to blame the devil because we can’t imagine that the Lord would answer like this.
The Father has much to say to us when we are at our lowest. Often that is when He speaks to our spirits most deeply.
Who can understand why a man would choose any sexual sin? Who can understand why a man would become so self-consumed that he would do this not only to his wife but to an entire congregation? I don’t know if you will ever fully understand. Besides that, I am not so sure that understanding will even help you. I believe that the way to deal with this deep hurt is to turn your eyes on Jesus. Do not linger too long over the “whys”. I don’t think anyone can really understand it apart from the fact that we all have a fallen nature and without the Lord at the very center of our lives we are all capable of unspeakable evil.
Jesus knows what to do with that deep pain in your heart. I pray that in the days ahead you will experience the incomprehensible peace of God and true rest for your mind and soul as you sit at the feet of Jesus.