How True Repentance Brought Me Freedom and Hope
Life before I came to Pure Life Ministries was pretty miserable, to say the least. My addiction to women and pornography had all but destroyed everything and everyone I cared about. Eventually, I engaged in an adulterous affair with a member of my church and my life quickly spun out of control. When I finally came clean to my wife, family and church, I was removed from pastoral ministry. But even though I had confessed my sin, I did not repent. Instead, I ran deeper into it. I left my wife and daughters to pursue my sin. Soon I reached the end of myself, and realized I desperately needed help.
Thankfully, the Lord led me to the Pure Life Ministries website, and for the first time in a long time, I felt hope. In June of 2013 I entered the Residential Program. As soon as I drove onto the campus, the Lord started working on my heart, and I began to see what I had become—selfish, proud and uncaring. This was very difficult to see. Then on June 26th, I read about true repentance in At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry. At that moment, the veil lifted from my eyes and it all made sense—I had never repented.
I knew my only answer was to turn to Jesus, to get a sight of Him on the cross and ask for forgiveness. The Lord then showed me that if I truly wanted Him, my self-life had to be obliterated. I went to the cross on the ridge and humbled myself before the Lord. All the weight of my sin was soon gone. I knew I had fellowship with God and that the blood of Jesus had covered all my sin. Slowly, my inside world began to change. Even though I had been a “taker” and a double-minded man all of my life, I began learning to be a giver and a man of integrity.
Since I have graduated from the Pure Life Ministries Residential Program, life has been better than I could have imagined. Jesus has done so many things for me. He has completely reconciled and restored my family. He has taught me what it means to walk in the light and I continue to learn what it means to walk in repentance and faithfully pursue the Lord. Although I no longer work vocationally for the church, I am leading a small group of men on the path of victory from sexual sin. I would love to say that everything has been perfect since I graduated, but it hasn’t. However, He continues to make me poor in spirit and teaches me to be grateful and content with the life I have. Jesus has begun a good work in my life, and that is worth testifying about.
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