Live-In Program
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I leave my family for six months or more? Who will take care of them?
Why does the program have to be six to twelve months long? I’ve heard of others that are only ten to thirty days long.
Can my family visit while I am there? Can I receive mail and phone calls?
Can my wife also receive counseling while I am in the program?
What are the qualifications of your counselors?
How much detail should I share with my wife about my sexual sin?
When the children find out daddy has to go away for a while, how much should I tell them?
What should I tell my extended family and friends about where I’ll be for the next 6-12 months?
What is your stance on psychotropic medication?
What is the age requirement for acceptance into your program?
How will I pay for my weekly program fees?
How long is the program?
What is the success rate?
What’s a typical week like there?
Do you help sex offenders?
Which program should I choose?
How will my counselor know when I’m ready to graduate the Live-In Program?
What can I do to help my husband while he’s going through the Live-In Program?
Do you counsel women, or know of a ministry that does, in a residential setting?
What kind of follow-up is there after the program is completed?
What kind of accountability should an individual or couple have once they have completed the program?
How can I leave my family for six months or more? Who will take care of them?
We understand how the thought of leaving home, job, family and the security of being in control of your own life can be an absolutely overwhelming, and perhaps frightening, prospect for many men. After more than 20 years of dealing with hundreds of families who have had to face this dilemma, there are a few things we can share with you.
First, is simply the promise from the lips of Jesus Himself found in Matthew 6: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” This may seem like a trite or simplistic statement to someone who has a family to support, but it truly has been our experience that those who determine within their hearts to get their spiritual lives right, find an awesome God going to bat for them back home.
The other thing we should mention is that getting your life back in order generally requires sacrifice. Many would like to have the solution but are not willing to make the necessary sacrifice. If we can be frank with you, that simply isn’t realistic. But we can also assure you, the rewards of such a sacrifice are definitely worthwhile. The real question is, “Are you willing to trust God?”
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Why does the program have to be six to twelve months long? I’ve heard of others that are only ten to thirty days long.
Well, it certainly would be much simpler for us to offer a short-term stay to people looking for help. But if there is one thing we’ve learned in our years of experience it is this: it has taken years for thought patterns and habits to become entrenched in a person’s life and it takes time for them to be turned around. The staff here at Pure Life Ministries is dedicated to seeing you find the real change you need. This simply takes time. As someone once put it, “God can save a man in an instant, but it takes time to build character.” We understand that it may be a terrific sacrifice for you to come here for six months to a year, but at least you’ll be leaving with real change.
Generally, those who come to us are sick and tired of inflated promises and easy, band-aid answers that never seem to work. They are typically at a place where they are desperate for change—even if it means coming to Kentucky for six months or longer.
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Can my family visit while I am there? Can I receive mail and phone calls?
The answer to all these questions is yes. After being in the program for 30 days, you may have one weekend visit per month with your counselor’s approval. Weekend visitations may extend up to 4 days (Thursday–Sunday or Friday–Monday).
Mail is distributed daily by the counseling staff. You will have access to pay phones in your designated dorm area and will be able make and receive a certain number of calls per week.
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Can my wife also receive counseling while I am in the program?
Absolutely! The wife of a man in the Live-In Program can receive counseling through the Overcomers At-Home Program (OCAH). This is a real blessing for the wife who has lost trust for her husband. She can hear for herself from the staff about how her husband is doing. It is also wonderful for our counseling staff to be able to work with husband and wife so that the inevitable marital difficulties which arise from sexual sin can be resolved. For wives of Live-In Program students, our OCAH program is offered at a discounted cost of $50 per session plus a materials fee of $100. If you would like to participate in this program, you can enroll by downloading the appropriate application in our Application Center, or by calling 1.888.PURELIFE.
You may also want to view our video testimonies of wives and marriages that have been restored through our counseling programs.
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What are the qualifications of your counselors?
Our Counseling Department comes under the leadership of Pastor Jeff and Rose Colón and the direction of Brad Furges. Jeff and Rose both have a Masters of Ministry in Biblical Counseling from Master’s Graduate School of Divinity and are certified through the International Association of Biblical Counselors. Brad Furges, the Director of Counseling, is degreed and certified in biblical counseling, as are all of our counselors. Furthermore, each of the male counselors is a graduate of our Live-In Program, and knows what it takes to find victory over sexual addiction. Likewise, our female counselors have dealt with these issues in their own marriages. The combination of personal victory and credible training sets our counseling staff apart.
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How much detail should I share with my wife about my sexual sin?
We encourage husbands to be open and honest about their sin with their wives, but we discourage giving graphic details. Such imagery can negatively impact wives, and in most cases the details are simply unnecessary. Our counselors can guide couples through this disclosure process in a way that promotes healing.
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When the children find out daddy has to go away for a while, how much should I tell them?
While it is wise to provide an honest answer to your children, it is also wise not to give too many details about their father’s sin. Simply sharing with them that their daddy is going away to “Bible school” or to learn more about Jesus so he can learn to be a better father will usually suffice, depending on the age of the child, of course.
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What should I tell my extended family and friends about where I’ll be for the next 6-12 months?
It is always appropriate to simply let them know that you’re going way to draw closer to the Lord. If your pastor is aware of your situation, he will most likely be able to offer you guidance with how to handle this in your local church.
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What is your stance on psychotropic medication?
We accept men into our Live-In Program who are currently taking one or more psychotropic medications. If men are on such medications upon arrival, our policy prohibits participants from discontinuing or tapering off their prescribed medications without approval of a physician. If an applicant is incapacitated by his medication or the dosage he’s on, he may not be able to participate in the program until he is stable or is off his medications altogether.
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What is the age requirement for acceptance into your residential program?
Participants in our program must be at least 18 years of age (or about to turn 18 within a few months of enrolling). We counsel mature teens at least 15 years of age through our Overcomers At-Home Program.
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How will I pay for my weekly program fees?
Most participants are assigned jobs through local temporary agencies which enables them to pay their weekly program fee. Working also provides the men a daily opportunity to put into practice the spiritual principles they are learning.
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How long is the program?
The Live-in Program is 6 -12 months long. However, the average stay for participants is 7-9 months.
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What is the success rate?
We do not collect statistical data pertaining to the success rate of our participants. However, based on Philippians 1:6, “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it,” we believe that the success rate is extremely high for the graduates of our program who are sincere.
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What’s a typical week like there?
Throughout each week the participant's evenings are devoted to counseling, homework, chores, prayer, Bible study, and fellowship. The weekly curriculum is a combination of Pure Life Ministries’ materials and biblical homework/study. Each man is assigned a personal counselor who has overcome habitual sexual sin himself and is trained in biblical counseling. Through personal discipleship, our counselors focus on the unique needs of each man as they lead him into a consecrated life in God.
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Do you help sex offenders?
We minister to sex offenders through our Overcomers At-Home Program. Due to community restrictions, we do not accept those who have a sex offense conviction into our residential program.
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Which program should I choose?
Our Overcomers-At-Home phone counseling program is available for those who do not require the intensive intervention of our Live-In Program, or those who are simply unable to come to our facility in Kentucky for 7–9 months. If there is any doubt about which program is best for you, we encourage you to contact our Counseling Support Call to speak with one of our counselors to determine which program is most appropriate for you (a small fee applies).
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How will my counselor know when I’m ready to graduate the Live-In Program?
Because our counselors pray for each of their counselees regularly, have weekly one-on-one sessions with them, and are able to observe their progress over several months, they are able to determine an appropriate graduation date for each counselee based on the degree of genuine change that has taken place within them.
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What can I do to help my husband while he’s going through the Live-In Program?
We encourage wives to pray for their husbands and believe the Lord to do a deep and lasting work within them. We do offer counseling for wives through our Overcomers At-Home Program. We find that typically a husband is really encouraged by his wife’s participation in the At-Home program and that in many ways they are on the same page—seeking the Lord for themselves and holding faith for the restoration of their marriage.
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Do you counsel women, or know of a ministry that does, in a residential setting?
We counsel struggling women and hurting wives and fiancée’s through our Overcomers At-Home Program. There is one particular ministry that we’ve referred women to in the past called Mercy Ministries which ministers to young women from 18-28 who struggle with any number of life-dominating issues.
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What kind of follow-up is there after the program is completed?
Graduates in both our Live-In Program and At-Home Program are encouraged to maintain periodic contact with their counselor after completing their program. In addition, those who fall back into old habits are invited to sign up for our 6-week Transitional Counseling Program. Typically a short period of intervention via our Transitional Counseling Program is sufficient to get them back on track. Graduates from either the Pure Life Ministries Live-In Program or the Overcomers At-Home Program may apply for Transitional Counseling at any time, even if it has been years since their graduation.
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What kind of accountability should a couple or individual have once they have completed the program?
For men who complete one of our programs, we encourage you to stay accountable with another godly man who’s willing to assist you for a period of time, especially with any struggles with lust and temptation. We also urge husbands to be accountable with their wives, especially in areas such as finances, computer and cell phone usage, and time away from home.
Couples are encouraged to make sure their home is a sanctuary—a place where Jesus would feel welcome and comfortable. If your home needs a good purging, then don’t let anything stop you! After God has done a deep work in your heart, you and your spouse want to cut off every avenue of the enemy in your home. This may include certain magazines, inappropriate movies and even the television if need-be! You also want to make sure every computer, cell phone and other Wi-Fi enabled gadget in your possession is equipped with a reliable Internet filter.
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