For Wives

Sexual sin and pornography usage have become enormous problems within the Christian community. What can be more devastating for a woman than to discover her husband is secretly obsessed with illicit sex and other women?

Kathy Gallagher experienced this in the early years of her marriage with Steve. In Out of the Depths of Sexual Sin, she expresses the feelings of many betrayed wives when she says:

"Our intimate life, to me, was sacred. It was exclusive and off-limits to others. He was mine and I was his. What we had together in private was ours, and I was the only one who should know him in that way. Marital sex is the tie that physically binds two individuals together, and creates a spiritual union which is very sacred.

When I found out that Steve was being unfaithful, I was crushed. He was spiritually tying himself to anything with a skirt: giving away what was MINE! Our union was broken, shattered. We no longer had that special time which belonged only to us. Our hideaway had been cheapened by giving it to many others; thrown away as though it had little or no value to him. What he wanted from our union, he could find on any street corner or in any massage parlor.

There was now nothing left that was ours, as a married couple. We were just two people living together, sharing space. It killed me. Day after day the pain of the reality that our marriage was gone swept over me like sea billows."

Reaching Out

Since the very beginning it has been the heart of Pure Life Ministries to recognize and minister to the unique needs of wives who husbands are in habitual sexual sin. But even though such a discovery is often accompanied with feelings of great despair, it is never without hope.

Over the years we have watched the Lord restore marriages few gave any chance for survival (which is exactly how this ministry started!). But, we do serve a God of restoration and One who is just as concerned with the wife as He is with the husband. For that reason, we are devoted to providing resources and counseling that point to the only true hope: Jesus.

Whether it is Kathy Gallagher's book When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart, going through our Overcomers At-Home Program or just reading the testimonies and literature on this website, we are committed to continually point wives to Jesus and His Word as the only true Answer to their situation. His power to heal and restore is our testimony and it has also become the testimony of hundreds of men, wives and couples over the years.

Kathy Gallagher and Rose Colón impart hope by sharing their own personal stories and how God is restoring marriages through Pure Life Ministries.

Resources

Counseling Helpline
When secret sin is exposed, it usually brings with it a great deal of confusion. Emotions can fluctuate wildly at a time like this. Well-meaning family and friends offer advice that is often based more upon personal feelings than upon a real sense of God’s will. Just when the hurting wife is facing some of the most crucial decisions of her life—she feels like she doesn’t know where to turn! In a quiet, steady manner, the PLM wives’ counselor will help her navigate through conflicting emotions, outside advice, the husband’s pressure, and so on. The one-time call of the Counseling Helpline is there to help her get pointed in the right direction. Learn More


The At-Home Program
Most wives quickly discover that they need more than a one-time call. It is a rare thing for discovery of sexual sin to bring about the end of the matter. Even if the husband experiences sincere repentance there are still very difficult issues to work through in the marriage. This is a time when the wife must show great caution and wisdom over her decisions. Yet, inexplicably—just when she needs the comfort and wisdom that can only come from God—she finds a growing sense of detachment from Him. This is usually because the natural human reaction to such devastating news is to obsess over the husband or to allow her mind to run wild.

Our wives’ counselors understand these issues because each of them has suffered through the ordeal of betrayal. They know from experience what the wife goes through. They endured it themselves and have helped many other wives work their way through the process. Not only will the counselor help the wife maintain an intimate connection to the Lord when she needs it most, but she will also provide sound, biblical advice in the midst of all of the confusion. And, of course, she is “able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (II Corinthians 1:4) Learn More


When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart
Kathy Gallagher is a woman who has been there; she understands the pain of rejection, the feelings of hopelessness and the questions that plague a hurting wife. In this collection of letters, Kathy imparts heartening encouragement by providing the practical, spiritual answers that helped her find healing in the midst of her most trying storm.  If you are a hurting wife, this book will be a tremendous blessing to you!

Some of the other subjects covered include: Divorce, Dealing With Suspicions, Confronting The Husband, The Need To Leave, Dealing With Fear, Reconciliation, The Unrepentant Husband, The Neglected Wife, Lost Respect, My Sexual Needs, Feeling Betrayed, Abandoned By God and more! Learn More


At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry
Finally, here’s a book that will explain your husbands struggles from a spiritual perspective. Why is sex such a huge thing in his mind? Why doesn’t he just stop? What is wrong with him?! What will he have to do in order to achieve real victory? What will his life look like once he has broken free from habitual sin? All of this and much more is in this book. There’s a reason Beverly LaHaye said, “At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry is one of the best books out there on this topic. I recommend that you get this book.” Learn More


Out of the Depths of Sexual Sin
This is Steve and Kathy Gallagher’s story. In 1982, Steve Gallagher was a Los Angeles County deputy sheriff. Nobody knew about his secret life, though—nobody but his wife Kathy. She was the one who bore the brunt of his selfishness, anger and unfaithfulness. Finally, when Kathy could not take anymore, she left Steve. Within weeks, she was in the arms of another man and Steve had his off-duty revolver pointed at his head. This is the wonderful story about how God rescued their lives and restored their marriage. Learn More