Can I Save My Marriage from an Ongoing Affair?


I found out my husband has had an ongoing affair with another woman for five years. The other woman was very angry when I found out. What can I do to save my marriage?


As best as we can, we at Pure Life always try to stand for marriages. We believe that marriage is God-ordained and worth fighting for. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and so do we.

However, in a situation like this, I have to wonder how much there is here to save. It is difficult to give a solid answer to this situation with so few details at my disposal.

What has been motivating your husband to have an affair with this other woman all this time? Has it been sheer sexual desire or does he have deep feelings for her? Has he done it because the two of you have had a lousy relationship? Or did he get himself into a relationship and then didn’t have the courage to end it? Is he showing true remorse and brokenness over his sin? The fact that the other woman is angry suggests that she has grown emotionally dependent upon him.

I think that what you do in this situation will largely depend upon the answers to these questions. He has obviously been quite a deceiver and it will take a long time for him to win your trust. It is clear to me that the only hope for this marriage will come through sincere repentance on his part and the aid of a good biblical counselor. You might consider our At-Home Program for Wives through Pure Life or find a counselor in your area.