Help! I want God AND My Sexual Sin!
I've been in sexual sin for many years now. The closer I get to God the more depressed I get and I feel like he is removing it from me. But, I want God and my sin. Where does this leave me?
This leaves you in the unhappy position of trying to “have your cake and eat it too.” There is no person more miserable than the one who attempts to live the Christian life and hold onto his sin at the same time.
I cannot tell you how grateful to God I am for the phenomenon you are describing. The most unhappy period of my life was the two years after I came to the Lord and continued in my sexual sin. Like yourself, I wanted God without relinquishing the idol of sexual pleasure that had been the focus of my life for many years. Where would I be today had it not been for the misery that comes with sexual sin? I would probably still be living in defeat all these years later. “The pleasures of sin last for a season.” After that, a person will begin to face the inevitable inward emptiness of sin. God used my misery to bring me into real repentance.
You have to decide what you want. It is not possible to have God and sin. People can deceive themselves into thinking they can have both, but the Bible makes it clear that it is a spiritual impossibility. Going to church does not mean a person is in a relationship with the Lord. Why not heed the words that Paul wrote so long ago?
“What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God… ‘Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘And do not touch what is unclean…’ Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” (I Corinthians 6:16-7:1)