How Can My Fiancé and I Re-Establish Purity?


My fiancé and I have been having sexual relations. We’ve tried to stop, but we still fall into it. What can we do to stay pure until we get married?

God created certain social and personal boundaries in and amongst humans (especially females) that makes it more difficult to engage in sexual intercourse. Once a couple has disrobed in front of each other and engaged in sexual relations, the barriers disappear and it becomes very difficult to rebuild them.

The first thing I think you should do is to pull your pastor and his wife into the situation. Confess what you have done and ask them to hold the both of you accountable. If your boyfriend is sincere—in other words, has truly been born again—he will be glad to have help in this struggle. You both should make a commitment to each other and to your pastor that you will never be alone together under any circumstances. You can spend time together with other couples or in group settings.

If he resists this idea, then I would question whether or not he has truly become a Christian and I would encourage you to break off the relationship. This may sound dramatic to you, but you must learn to put God first in your life. It is so important to establish His lordship over your life now. You will find that with the Lord in control, your life will go much more smoothly.