How Do I Cope with the Pain from My Dishonest Husband?


My husband cheated on me at one time and stopped. Now I am finding he is looking at porn, but he is lying to me about it. I sometimes want to turn to alcohol or drugs, but have tried to cling to the Bible. What can I do to get over this hurt?


If your husband is in unrepentant habitual sin there is not a lot you can do about that. You might want to get your pastor involved to confront your husband. Some women temporarily separate from their husbands until they see some real repentance.

But even if your husband does not do the right thing you can walk with the Lord yourself without compromising. I know a lot of women who have “terrible” marriages but they have learned how to go through their pain in a godly way.

I don’t think you should focus on getting rid of pain. That seems to be where so many Christians fail in their walks with the Lord. I believe God can take you through it rather than take you out of it. Jesus said we would have tribulation in the world and we would be assailed by the enemy of our souls, but He also promised that He would never leave us nor forsake us. If your purpose is to be pain free I’m afraid you will eventually give over to drugs or alcohol or something to ease the pain. But if your purpose is to be faithful to Jesus no matter what comes your way, then you will make it through without having compromised your own walk with the Lord.

The pain of unfaithfulness runs very deep. If you don’t discipline your emotions to turn to Jesus in the midst of it, you might do things you will regret for years to come. I write this from my own experience. When I felt hurt by my husband, I turned to another man and have regretted it for nearly 25 years. Drugs and alcohol will only make your life more miserable. Turn to Jesus with all your heart. You will find comfort in your time of need.