Is Everything Permissible in the Marriage Bed?


My brother-in-law has been ministering to my husband and in one of their conversations I understood he said that anything that goes on in the bedroom is ok as long as it is just the two of us, is that true?

The verse your husband was referring to is Hebrews 13:4 which says, in part, “the (marriage) bed is undefiled.” Before discussing your husband’s situation, let us first set the record straight regarding this verse. The following comes from my husband’s book, Counseling the Sexual Addict:

“The wording used in this question is the King James Version of Hebrews 13:4—an unfortunate choice of words that has served as justification for all kinds of evil. Every other translation with which I am familiar gives a completely different sense concerning the meaning of the original Greek. The NIV is fairly typical of the rest: ‘Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.’ (Hebrews 13:4) One can easily see that the author’s intent was not to sanction ungodly behavior but actually to promote purity in the marital bed.”

One good rule of thumb to use is whether or not the two of you both enjoy something and are in agreement that it is acceptable; if so, it is probably okay. When a man and a woman deeply love each other the marriage bed is held in honor.