Only God Could Set Me Free

 
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By the age of twelve, I was an IV drug user and already involved in sexual sin. I had no idea how much deception was taking control of my life and this was only the beginning of what would be years of rebellion and self-will. Eventually, I became very much like the demon-possessed men described in Matthew 8. But unlike those men, I had not come to know a God that could set me free.

Like many men who get married for all the wrong reasons, I thought marriage would somehow satisfy the longings of my heart. Unfortunately, my wife was living the same kind of life I was and it was more like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. My drug use only got worse, I became emotionally abusive to my family and there were numerous extra-marital affairs. There would be times when I would try to change my behavior, but I would always end up slipping back into my sin.

My brother-in-law invited me to attend a Pure Life Ministries speaking event where, for the first time, I saw a glimmer of hope. I realized then that I needed to change but just did not grasp how. To make things worse, nobody around me, including my wife, had the faith to believe that I really could change.

Following a brief separation, my brother-in law invited both of us to attend the 2008 Pure Life Ministries Annual Conference. It was during that event that I agreed to enroll in the Overcomers At-Home Program, and my wife decided to go through the Wives Program.

During that time, I really had to battle through and found it difficult to understand why there was such a battle going on in my heart—why it was so hard. At a point of despair, I cried out to the Lord and He showed me how much sin had corrupted me and how completely deceived I had become. Something changed in my heart that day.

I believe it was my Psalm 51 experience as the Lord heard my cry, “Create in me a pure heart, oh God!”

I’m so grateful that throughout the Program, I had a counselor who was willing to shoot straight with me — telling me what I really needed to hear. So many other well-meaning Christians seemed to be more concerned about not upsetting me or hurting my feelings than helping me to face the hard truths about myself.

Since graduating in 2008, Jesus has become the center of our home and marriage as we have learned to seek Him in all things. We now know that true victory is the result of a deepening relationship with the Lord. It’s not always an easy journey, but it’s one that we are committed to completing when we see Him face-to-face!


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