What Can I Do If I'm Still Struggling to Forgive Him?


I realize it takes time to forgive your husband, but I am still struggling; what can I do?

Forgiving a husband who has been unfaithful is a tall order, and yet Scriptures repeatedly command us to forgive. It sounds to me that you are sincerely trying to do this. The truth is that forgiveness is a process that takes time. I don't mean to imply that we are excused for being unforgiving. What I mean is that it takes time for the wife to feel like she can trust again. The husband is the one who broke that trust, and the burden is on his shoulders to show that he is now trustworthy.

It should not surprise you that you are still struggling with feelings of resentment toward your husband. In a certain way, this is certainly understandable. However, I want to encourage you not to be too concerned about these fleeting feelings. Emotions come and go, but what the Lord is concerned about is your heart. From what I can tell, your desire is to see your marriage restored and to obey the Lord.

An unforgiving wife does not think that way. She is consumed with the wrongs that have been done toward her. She has very little concern about either her husband or the Lord.

I wouldn’t be too hard on myself, if I were you. It will take time to get through this but if you keep asking the Lord for His strength, He will help you through.