What Do I Do if My Wife is Unwilling?


My wife has been distant and we have not had sexual relations in years. How can I have my sexual needs met?

My first reaction to this question is that the cause of the distance between the two of you is what should be addressed, not your “sexual needs.”

Also, given the fact that you have contacted us - a ministry dedicated to helping men involved in habits of sexual sin - it is only natural for me to wonder if sexual sin is creating this distance between the two of you. If that is the case, then repentance on your part should help alleviate the problem source between you.

It is also very possible that you have repented of past sins and are now attempting to live a godly life but find that she is unwilling to let go of past offenses. If this is the case, then I would recommend that the two of you seek on-going counseling from either Pure Life Ministries or a solid biblical counselor. A good counselor can help you work through your problems.

As for your “sexual needs,” I would prefer to use the term “sexual desires.” Many godly believers live without being involved in sexual activity. God can certainly help you to do so as well.