What If He Blames Me for His Addiction?


My husband believes that some of his problem with sexual sin relates to me. Our counselor disagrees with him. Who is right?

Without knowing more about your situation it is impossible for me to say for certain. However, there are two reasons I tend to agree with your counselor.

First, it is very typical for a sexual addict to minimize his sin and to attempt to lay at the feet of others problems of his own making. I have never met anyone in habitual sin who wasn’t terribly deceived. To him it really does seem as though many of his problems are your fault. His sin has blinded him to the reality of what is going on in his own heart. Sin has a way of minimizing the person’s guilt while exaggerating the faults of others. 

Second, I would have to assume that your counselor is an impartial third party who can properly appraise the situation. As you and your husband discuss your issues with him, he should be able to offer an objective perspective of the situation. If he says that you are not doing anything to contribute to your husband’s problems I would have to assume he is right.  

I’m sure that your husband was dealing with sexual sin before he even met you. It is time for him to take full responsibility for his actions. Even if you aren’t doing everything perfectly, he is certainly in no position to point the finger at you. 

Be that as it may, please know that your husband is in the battle of his life. Even if he’s not seeing things right at the present time, I want to encourage you to do everything you can to help him as he sincerely battles through his problems.