Timeless Truths: Walking through the aftermath of our sin can easily lead us into self-pity. It can also lead us to ignore lessons God is trying to teach us. But if we walk through consequences by putting our trust in the Lord and seeking to learn the lessons He has for us, we will find a tremendous amount of good can come out of them.

In this interview from the archives, Austin Kropf joins us to share some of the attitudes we should have if we are to let the Lord have His way and accomplish His will in our lives while going through the effects of sin.

Host: So, Austin, as we continue in this episode in our series, “Key Lessons on the Road to Freedom,” I was hoping that you could help us see what kinds of attitudes that we should have in our lives when it comes to the consequences of our sin. That might be an attitude that we should have directly toward the Lord or toward other people in our lives or toward the actual logistical consequences of our sin.
     The reality is that just because you repent doesn't mean that the consequences just automatically go away and everything's great. So, when you've had to counsel men, or even in your own life, what have you seen are some of the most important attitudes that we should have?

Austin: The first one that comes to mind is humility. For someone who's really sinned against others and against themselves there are going to be consequences and they can come in many forms. But to go and face those is going to require a lot of humility. And once someone has repented of their sin, it's easy to kind of move on past that in their minds as far as what the consequences of past sin entails.
     You may just want to live a new life. You don't want to be associated with anything that pertains to your “old life” and so it's easy to just move on quickly and forget that you actually made a big mess of things. And so, for someone to be able to actually face those things it’s going to require them to have a humble attitude.

Host: Yeah. I'm not married and I'm not a counselor, but I've heard enough of the stories about how even after a man has repented to his wife, she still bears the scars and there's a lot of collateral damage there. She's afraid of what might happen in the future. She struggles when they're out in public with wondering if he is looking at other women. She wonders, “What's he thinking about during sex? Is he thinking about people that he saw on the Internet?”
     So, his sin has created some real lasting consequences, because there are still problems in the marriage. There's still the residue of a lot of his own decisions. And for you as a counselor, I know you have to really exhort the husband like, “Okay, you've repented and that is good, but now you need to bear with your wife.”

Austin: Yeah. Some of those things can feel like a nagging thing of, “Why can't my wife just move on? I've repented. This isn't an issue anymore. Why can't we just move on?” But that's a great opportunity for him to really focus on what the Lord has done rather than what he wants his life to look like right now. So that kind of leads into what I was going to say next and that is that another very important aspect of walking through consequences is gratitude.
     If we were just taking that example from a marriage that's been shattered by sexual sin, if the husband cultivates gratitude for what the Lord has done, his consequences won't seem as overwhelming as before. He could thank the Lord for delivering him out of this perpetual cycle of devastation and destruction. If he is not regularly giving over to his sin then, praise the Lord! That's an amazing thing.

Host: Yeah, that's good. Ingratitude makes us focus on all the things we don't have, but gratitude shows us the value of what He has already given us. What else did you have?

Austin: Yeah. So, another thing I thought of that is very important is keeping an outward focus of loving others and seeing the needs of those around me. Maybe I'm facing some terrible, awful consequences, but all around me every day, whether I'm going out to my job, whether I'm spending my time with my family or my kids or whoever, there are needs all around me. And that's a great avenue to keep my eyes off myself: letting the Lord do good to others through my redeemed life.
     If I don’t do that then what did He redeem me for? Just to feel happy and feel good? He made me to love others in this new life that He has given me. Even with the consequences of my sin, I can reach out with the testimony He's given me and bless others and do good to others. I can stop by and just take some extra time to make sure that my friend is really doing okay. Asking questions. Praying with others. There are little practical things that I can do that will keep me out of an inward focus that leads to selfishness.

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Host: Yeah. So, wow, living that love out to other people is really helpful. You have anything else?

Austin: Yeah. So, another thing that I thought of and I suppose it can encapsulate all of this is perseverance. When you think about consequences, what we're talking about is something that's going to take time. You can't make it go faster. You can certainly make it go slower. But there's a lot that isn't in your own control. And if I'm going to make it through, I'm going to need to persevere and I'm going to need to have an understanding that it's going to be hard. I need an understanding that I'm not going to feel like going through this with grace and with mercy, but I'm going to need to in order to get to what the Lord has promised.
     And you know when thinking about this, I was reminded of Deuteronomy 8:2 where Moses is speaking to the children of Israel and says, “And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.” (Deuteronomy 8:2, ESV) And in this whole vein of perseverance, that's kind of what the Lord is after a lot of times. He allows things in our lives to purify us. Not as a malicious thing of, “Now you're going to pay.” It's for our good that we're purified in our hearts so that we're not just serving the Lord because our circumstances are good.

Host: Wow. Yeah. Talk about having to live by faith. It takes a lot of faith to really believe that whatever consequences I'm having to experience are not punitive. It's not about God getting back at me. All of it actually is for my own good.

Austin: Yeah. That's so true. If I’m going to face these consequences and stand faithful without compromising with self-pity or cynicism and all of that, I need to see that these things are not God's wrath on me. I've been forgiven by the Lord. He does not hold these sins against me anymore. Jesus took that on the cross for me. Even if others may not have yet forgiven me, that's not God's attitude towards me if I have repented.
     So, the hard things I am going through are only there for my good. God’s face is shining on us even during hard circumstances, because they are for our purification. And I'm passionate about this because I've had to really wrestle through this myself. Just because these consequences are hard and difficult does not mean that God is angry with me. And I've had to really be intentional about meditating on God's love for me and see that He is not against me, but He is fighting my battles with me and for me in this walk.