When G came into the residential program, he was spinning his wheels. For a long time he tried in his own strength to please God. Ever patient, the Lord continually wooed G to Himself. Then one day, through divine revelation, he saw that all of his own effort proved he had no trust in God. Reflecting on God's faithfulness towards him, G felt Jesus asking him, "Will you trust Me?" He responded, "Jesus, I will trust You." Finally surrendering his self-effort, G began anchoring himself in the Lord's faithfulness leading to a radically changed life.

Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (NLT)

Unlike many who come to Pure Life Ministries, I did not grow up in a Christian atmosphere. I was raised by my foreign grandmother and as a preteen, I was given a laptop. At that point, everything changed. I instantly found porn and began giving over non-stop. I kept all this hidden for years, but outwardly, I was striving to be the best version of myself. I excelled in school and lived for the praises and approval of others. Without realizing, I had created a false version of myself that everyone admired. The reality, however, was that I was reveling in darkness and harboring wickedness in my heart. I was a professional hypocrite.
      Eventually, I made it to college, where I connected with a campus ministry and learned about Jesus. I loved the community and did all the Christian activities, but I wasn't living for Jesus. I was constantly sad or irritable, and I hated serving the Lord. All of this led to me confessing my sin to my spiritual authority, who got me plugged into the Overcomers At-Home Program. Andres was my first counselor. And despite him leading me to the truth, I was still living for myself and reverting back to sin once the counseling session was over. We both agreed that I wasn't where I needed to be. He suggested that I come to the Residential Program. And after weeks of wrestling and tears, I arrived to PLM on May 2nd, 2025.
      During my time here, God was building a foundation of truth for me to stand on, but I looked past it in a self-righteous attempt to figure it out. My days were filled with constant overthinking and unbelief, which was rooted in trusting myself. My second counselor, James, was gracious in truth and helped reveal to me that I didn't see Jesus as my Savior. The Lord was trying to get my attention to turn to Him as my righteousness, but I continued to strive in my own strength. The Lord used many staff members to convey the same truths to me. They would tell me things like, “You're going around the mountain again.” “You're like a hamster on a wheel who keeps running and running, but he's getting nowhere.” “You're like a kid who tied his shoelaces together and keeps getting frustrated every time he trips and falls, but he refuses to allow his Father to help him.”
      This was true, but I struggled even harder to figure Jesus out. And then I came to a subtle, yet powerful realization. During the Easter Sunday service, a thought came to mind, “If I truly loved the Lord, then I would trust Him without question, because love believes all things.” I didn't truly believe that God loved me enough to be there for me and I was making Him out to be a liar. How could I not trust in Jesus, who had been so gracious and kind to me throughout my life? He was taking care of me by providing loving grandparents, keeping me from falling into harms such as addiction to drugs and alcohol. He allowed me to work at the Ark Encounter where I was constantly reminded of his faithfulness. He made it known that He was watching over me and guiding my steps.
      I was brought to a crossroads. The Lord was asking me, “Are you going to trust in me or are you not? There is no middle ground anymore.” And I told Him, “Jesus, I will trust you.” And the cross made His faithful love real to me.
      Now I choose to surrender myself to Him, for He is true and cares for me. Though I may be tempted to spiral and fall into unbelief, I will anchor myself in His Word and remember that He is the truth. Whenever I face condemnation, I will choose to rejoice in the reality that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
      Thank you to my family, who were so gracious in my decision to come here. Thank you to my three counselors, Andres, James, and Pastor Jordan, for being so patient with me and always guiding me to get out of myself and to see Jesus. Thank you to all the staff and students for fighting for me in prayer. And thank you, Jesus, for never giving up on me, for loving me everlasting, and for being so faithful and good to me. I love you, Jesus.