Timeless Truths: We naturally do not want to put faith into what the Word of God says. One example of that is when Scripture tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances.” Certainly every believer has struggled with some situation that has challenged their belief in that declaration.

We have to learn to live not by what our emotions dictate, but by putting faith in the commands and the promises of Scripture. When we exercise faith, the One who has written those promises will give us the power to obey His commands.

And let’s not forget, if you’re listening to this podcast because you struggle with sexual sin, you especially need to learn that lesson. No matter how strongly you feel temptation, you can exercise faith and experience victory through the power of His Spirit!

Host: Okay, Austin, so you've worked in our counseling department for a number of years, and I wanted to start off by asking you how relevant you think this topic is, living by faith and not by feelings. If you could venture a guess and think about all the guys you've counseled, the guys that you've just kind of casually talked to while you've been on our residential program campus, what percentage would you say need to learn this lesson?

Austin: It's safe to say an absolute 99%.

Host: Wow. Okay, that’s big.

Austin: Yes. If not 100%. I can't think of anyone that I've counseled that I haven't addressed this issue with.

Host: Okay, so if someone is listening who's never even really thought in terms of, “am I living by feelings or am I living by faith,” can we first describe what it means to live by feelings?

Austin: Yeah, sure. So, to live by feelings is simply to live by one’s senses. You can easily quantify that by looking at a 2-year-old kid who's playing and they see a toy that they want. Once they see that toy all hell breaks loose until they have it. There's a sense and a desire that kid has as a 2-year-old of, “I want and I'm willing to do whatever I need to in order to get that thing.”
      Let’s look at a teenager for instance as well. Let’s say he has a friend group and he wants to be like his friends. His friends maybe have the latest Xbox and so he really wants one now. So, this kind of a mindset of living by what I want, if it goes unchecked will continue to go step by step into each stage of our lives. If that goes unchecked in the teenager’s life as a young adult, who knows where this will lead him.
      If you want to really boil it down, living by feelings would simply just be going by what feels best to me at the moment rather than taking into consideration and submitting to what the Word of God says.

Host: Yeah, that's really good because we are Americans through and through and one of the things that's deeply entrenched in our culture is this idea of, “I'm just going to be me. If I feel it, if I think it, I'm going to act on it.” And I think a lot of people, especially our younger generation are being taught to live this way. If you ask somebody, “Why didn't you go to work today?” They would maybe respond with something like, “Well, I just wasn't feeling it.” And as you said, that kind of life will end up being very destructive. And then on the other side, it can be really hard to break out of that kind of life, especially if you've been living like that for a long time.

Austin: Yes, certainly. And like you were explaining, for someone who's now really repented and is wanting to go toward the Lord, how does this now carry into their new life with the Lord? There are a couple of things that I've personally had to face as a result of going against my feelings. I'm not giving over to sexual sin anymore or doing things that in my past life I would have done, but now in my new life with the Lord there are things that are coming against me that I'm having to deal with as far as feelings go. Some of these things include despair, depression and condemnation. There are strong inward feelings that I experience and if I submit to those feelings that can run my life on the wrong track very quickly.
      For me personally, learning this lesson was deep for me because I still remember in the program the first time that I started actually walking by faith. I remember, it was one of those mornings that you just feel dead and have no desire to spend time with the Lord and seek His face. But I knew, “Okay, this is what I need to do. I need to seek the Lord. I need to do my quiet time. I need to pray and read the Word.”
      So, I went to the place where I usually did that, but I was like, “I can't. I just feel like I can't. I'm stuck. I'm sitting here, my Bible is open, but I just don't have it in me.” And in that moment the Holy Spirit reminded me of what my counselor had told me the night before. He told me, “You can choose by an act of your will to praise the Lord.” And that came back to me at that moment as a revelation of, “I can in this moment, even if I feel completely dead, choose to praise the Lord.” And as we know, the Word of God is full of commands to praise the Lord and in every circumstance to give thanks. So, I began to praise the Lord and thank Him for the Word of God and how sure and faithful it is.
      And I just remember that after about 15 minutes of doing that, something broke. It went from being completely dead to me, to me being full of life. The Holy Spirit really began to speak to me and the Word of God began to be real to me. So, a morning that was completely dead got turned around all the way to where I was like, “This is the best morning time I've had with the Lord so far.” So, I just remember that for myself and see how powerful it is to obey even when I don't feel.

Host: You know, I've thought quite a bit about living by faith because I'm the same way. There have been some powerful feelings that have confronted me, assaulted me and tried to hinder me from really following the Lord. And at times I would make some gains like, “Okay, I'm living by faith. I'm not going to live by my feelings.” And then I would just inadvertently slip back into living by my feelings and then after some time passed I would realize, “Wait a second, I need to live by faith.” It took a lot of effort and I've definitely learned some lessons. And if someone is going to live by faith, there are some absolute things they need to know about it. What would you say some of the foundational lessons you have learned are?

Austin: Yeah. So, I would say there are about three major things I have learned that I need to do. The first one is probably a bit counterintuitive because a lot of what people hear about faith is to be bold in their faith and to do a lot of outward things, but I've found for myself that it is a foundational thing for me to persevere in a walk of repentance. The reason for that is that God is trying to give us something as believers, but the enemy is trying to allure us away from it by exploiting our tendency to live by our natural senses. The enemy is trying to nag at us from a natural point of view to lead us away from what God is trying to give us.
      So, there's this war inside that I need to continually be purified in my heart in my attitudes, my motives, my loves and my affections, so that they really are being turned toward the Lord and purified by Him to where Jesus really is who I love, desire and treasure and not the things of this world. If that's not the case, I won't have any faith for what God is trying to give me. Why would I put faith in something that I don't even want? Why would I persevere beyond my feelings for something that isn't even valuable to me?
      The second thing then, now that my heart is being purified is I need to put my trust in the character of God. And it's a choice. Again, faith is not something that's just going to happen on its own. It's something that takes an active choice. It's something that's very intentional. And so that second thing is choosing to put my confidence and trust in the character of God. And how do you do that? How does that work out? I would say that the ability to trust in God hinges on my attitude toward the Word of God, because the Word of God is how I know who God is.
      That is the bedrock of truth for me. If the Word of God doesn't have absolute authority in my life, then I will find myself compromising here and there with, “Well, maybe God doesn't really stand faithful in this area of my life.” Or maybe, “God really isn't for me in this situation.” And it will begin to eat away at my faith. So, I really must have rooted in me a confidence in the Word of God that reveals the character of God to me.
      And the third thing is choosing to praise the Lord even in difficult circumstances. For every single person that I counsel, we will talk about this at some point. Choosing to give thanks to the Lord is so foundational to persevering in this walk of faith. It keeps your eyes off yourself and your circumstances and keeps the Lord front and center.

If you’re stuck in sexual sin, you’ve probably tried different ways to escape. But have you ever considered that the real problem lies within? It’s your heart.

In today’s message, Director of Ministry Outreach Patrick Hudson uses Pharoah’s rebellion in the Exodus account to break down four ways the sexual sinner hardens his heart towards God.

As Patrick testifies, God has made a way out for you—but it requires a response to His voice.

Timothy was a young man who carried a strong leadership position in the early church. And one of the Apostle Paul’s signature pieces of advice to him was to flee youthful lusts.

Young men in the Church of our day must heed that same advice! But how is that possible in a culture overrun with temptation at every turn?

Part 2 of our Young Men’s Sexual Sin Q&A delves deeper into time-tested Biblical truths to overcome sexual addiction. This week we tackle issues like “How do I get out of a repetitive cycle of sin?” “Is it ok if I lust but don’t act out physically?” “I want to talk to somebody about my struggles, but I feel ashamed,” and more.

Resources:

• Check Out Our Residential Program

Ask the Counselor: How should Christian men fighting for freedom from sexual sin engage with the worldly entertainment that is all around them? Biblical counselors Regan, Josh, and Tyler join us to answer that very question.

Host: Tyler, we received this question and I want to start with you answering this one. How should believers set boundaries for what they watch, what they listen to and what they play? I'm assuming they mean video games.

Tyler: The Word of God doesn't talk about every specific scenario, right? But it gives us principles. When we understand those principles, it helps us make decisions when it comes to practical matters. So, I want to first talk about a spiritual principle to be separate from the world. Romans 12:2 says it very plainly. “Do not be conformed to the world.” Or we have James 4:4 where he says, “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” (James 4:4b, NKJV)
     And you know, John also talks about this in 1 John 2:15-17. This is a little bit of a longer passage, but there is very good foundational truth here. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” (1 John 2:15-17, ESV) Here we see specifically that the problem is not so much rooted in the things in the world, but it's where our affections are. And Scripture couldn't be clearer, love for God and love for the world cannot coexist. You're either going to be in one or the other.
     I'll say this because this was really helpful in my walk when I came to Pure Life Ministries. It can be extremely helpful if you've really been immersed in our worldly culture to do what I’d call a spiritual detox. Basically, in the beginning of your fight for freedom, you would need to be a bit radical for a period of time. It would look like as much as possible refraining from any form of secular entertainment such as music, movies, or maybe even news for a time. What this will do is help you become sensitive again to the voice of God. Where you've maybe become hard in your conscience or lost your sensitivity to the things of God, you can begin to cultivate discernment and be able to hear from the Lord, which you need to be able to set godly boundaries.
     And as the question mentioned, of course we need to set boundaries. You can't just have a theoretical principle but not set some practical boundaries. So, some specific boundaries might be limiting phone screen time. Maybe not even having your phone by you during times where you'll be more vulnerable, like at night. It might look like choosing not to have certain apps on your phone that might cause you to stumble or maybe deciding what kind of video content you're willing to watch or how much you're going to watch each week.
     And it's also important too, not just to make these boundaries, but you have to hold yourself accountable. So, it's helpful to have someone else in your life who you can say to, “Hey, look, I've got some areas here where I'm seeing a weakness. I'm setting some boundaries and I want you to hold me accountable to these things. Check in on me.”  And in the end I'll just say, loving God and walking with God is going to require making some sacrifices and giving up some things. That's just the way it is. But gaining intimacy and real fellowship with God is worth it. Having clarity of mind and purity of heart is worth it. You can't trade those things.

Regan: Yeah. To add to that, I would venture to say that most people are not living as consecrated of a life as they should be. So, when you decide to establish some boundaries in your life and begin to say, “I can't go these places. I can't watch this. I can only be on my phone for this amount of time,” you are one fish swimming upstream. There are going to be people around you who are going to say that you're being too legalistic.
     What I have found personally is that there will be times where you have an internal argument where you tell yourself, “If I do this, people are going to think I am being extreme.” That thought drove me to not make boundaries where I probably should have made boundaries. But that was not worth it. And I think if we're honest with ourselves, most of the time, thoughts and fears like that are just an excuse for us not to change.

Josh: Yeah. And the other thing that we haven't talked about yet is that pornography is a huge issue for young men. And I would say that there is hardcore pornography and then there is just sexually alluring entertainment. For me as a pastor’s kid at 16, that was TV shows that pushed the limit. I remember wanting to watch shows that were about sex back when I was young. I wasn't watching pornography, but I had lust in my heart.
     So, if you're doing things on TikTok, on Instagram, on social media, or you're viewing things on Netflix or Amazon Prime, there is a lot of garbage on these platforms that affect us and they will appeal to your flesh. You have a sin nature and the world is in an antichrist spirit. These platforms of entertainment worship sex. And you have the choice to say, “Because I desire Jesus I will say no to the things of the world.” But we are not going to walk in the purity that we should if we are seeking Jesus in the morning but filling ourselves with hours of entertainment that feed lust. That lust is not benign. That lust is going to grow in your heart. Sin is going to take you farther than you want to go. It's going to keep you longer than you want to stay. It's going to cost you more than you ever wanted to pay. Pornography is dangerous. It's highly addictive. Don't waste your time. And listen, Jesus wants to give you freedom. So even though sexual sin is enticing, you can go the other way, and He can give you the power to do that.

Host: Yeah. Amen.

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Resources We Mentioned:

• #649 - Sexual Sin Q&A: Answers for Young Men (Part 1) (Podcast Episode) By Pure Life Ministries
• #650 - Sexual Sin Q&A: Answers for Young Men (Part 2) (Podcast Episode) By Pure Life Ministries

Sexual sin causes destruction in people’s lives. But the good news is that God does redeem sexual sinners! He just has to start the process by dealing heavily with our sin—something that really puts it to death. But this will produce spiritual life if we respond with repentance and faith.

2000 years ago, Paul told the Corinthian Christians to RUN from sexual sin because our bodies are meant to be the dwelling place for God’s Spirit! This requires us to stand AGAINST cultural norms and let God’s Word set the standard for our behavior.

This is the first of a two-part episode where our counselors answer questions from young men about purity. In this episode we’ll tackle things like “What’s too far physically in a dating relationship?” “Is co-habitation really a big deal?” “Is sexting a sin,” and more.

Resources

• 20 Truths that Helped Me in My Battle with Porn Addiction (Bible Study) By Steve Gallagher

Christians in sexual sin have more in common with the older brother than with the prodigal son. Although the older brother remained in the father’s house, he was just as spiritually disconnected from his father as his prodigal brother. Sin always separates people from God, whether they’re in church or not.

In today’s message, Steve Gallagher explains the older brother’s case, calling people to reject lifeless religion and to return to the Father.

In our latest episode, Nate Danser is joined by fellow staff member Josh Bergstrom in the studio to share some exciting news about the future of the show. Plus, Steve Gallagher joins us not as a guest—but as our host! Tune in to hear a behind-the-scenes look at how God is leading the ministry into a new season. You won’t want to miss this heartfelt and hope-filled conversation that marks a major turning point for the Pure Life Ministries Podcast.

Resources We Mentioned

• The Story of Bob & Lori (Testimony)
• The Story of Nolan & Kendra (Testimony)

Once a sinner comes to their senses and repents of their sin, they’re only at the beginning of what is going to be a long journey home to the Father. Along the way, there are many difficulties—temptations and discipline to name a few—but they all have one purpose: to keep that man on the narrow way home. In today’s sermon, Steve Gallagher explains this journey using Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son.

Jesus said that every deed done in secret would eventually be exposed. It’s not a question of if…just a matter of when. That's a frightening thought for those who have done a lot of shameful things in secret. In today’s episode, we’ll talk about the danger of hiding sin, what happens in our souls when we refuse to bring our sins into the light, and the blessing of dealing with our sin in God’s chosen way.

Resources We Mentioned

• Don't Wait for God to Expose Your Sin (Article) By Patrick Hudson
• #482 - Do I Have to Confess My Sin? | Ask the Counselor (Podcast) By Pure Life Ministries
• #483 - Why Does My Wife Need to Know About My Sin? | Ask the Counselor (Podcast) By Pure Life Ministries

In the final sermon of our “Unveiling Yahweh” series, we will be looking at the Light of God.

There are many Christians bound up in sexual sin who don’t know what’s holding them back. They try to find the answers through professional counselors, weekend seminars, teaching books, and accountability groups—but are left stuck in a cycle of sin time and time again.

Little are they aware that if they simply turn to the Lord and open their whole heart to Him, He will faithfully perform a twofold work in their hearts. He will first expose what is below the surface, causing them to continue to fall. And then He will give them the power to walkout a life of righteousness!

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Study the writings of godly men throughout the ages, and one thing stands out: In their eyes, He was incomparable, unsearchable and eternal. He wasn’t just a little better than the false gods, there was no comparison. He wasn’t just barely deserving of His people’s worship, He was worthy of total and utter devotion. In Part 2 of our Unveiling Yahweh episode, the PLM speaking team sits down to discuss Steve Gallagher's sermon on the greatness of God and will talk about why having a vision of God's greatness is so important for every professing believer.

Resources We Mentioned

• Obtain a Greater Sight of Yahweh (Sermon) By Steve Gallagher