Beginning this week and for several more to come, we will examine the key elements that lead to victorious Christian living and freedom from sexual sin.

We will be asking questions like “what role does repentance play in freedom from pornography?” What part does deliverance play? What about worship? Where does obedience fit in?

Today we look at the role of faith in finding freedom from pornography.

Many people have the belief that pornography promotes sex. This couldn’t be further from the truth. What pornographic materials actually promote is the destruction of sex. Pornography is one of the most damaging forces against a healthy sex life. Sex is not a dirty or shameful activity. In fact, God created our sexual organs and made intercourse to be beautiful, intimate and enjoyable. Sex was His idea. In the past, the church has shied away from the topic of sex, leading some to believe it was something shameful. However, that was not the Lord’s original intention. He designed sex. And when kept within the boundaries of His original plan, it is one of the highest forms of pleasure two married people can enjoy.

The problem occurs when sex is taken out of the context for which God created it. Any form of sexual experience that is outside of the confines of a loving marriage between a husband and a wife becomes perversion. Pornography seeks to make perverse activity the normal expression of sexuality. As the years have passed since its inception, a cycle of depravity has made available pornographic materials that are unimaginably obscene and twisted.

When someone is given over to viewing pornography, something happens in their internal world. What should be repulsive to them becomes increasingly acceptable and even desired. Many sex addicts will testify to the fact that the longer that they stayed in their lifestyle, the more depraved the sexual acts became. It may have started off with “softcore” porn, but it led them into places that they had never intended to go. They simply thought they were going to have a little enjoyment, and they ended up a prisoner in a world of smut and darkness.

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One of the consequences of living a life given over to pornography is that it changes the way a person views sex. Even after getting free from its grip, this is something that needs to be addressed in the life of the person who wants to enjoy a healthy sex life at its greatest potential. Pornography is an illusion; it is pure fantasy. What many fail to consider is that everything is staged. In a pure sexual experience between a husband and a wife, there are no camera men in the room. There is no script to get right. There are no microphones being held up. The husband isn’t a paid actor, chosen for his masculine build and the wife isn’t a paid actress who was hired for her perfectly shaped body. Neither of them is being paid to portray that they are participating in the most pleasurable sexual experience possible. Yet, that is a description of the world of porn.

Sometimes, I do marriage counseling for couples in which the man has a history of pornography. I’ll pull him aside when we talk about sex and tell him something that I hope will save him and his future wife a lot of pain and heartache. I say, “Remember that your wife is not a porn star. Don’t treat her like one or expect her to act like one.” The reason this is important to address is because I understand that the person who has been involved with perversion has a distorted concept of God’s design for sex. Having been exposed as a young boy—long before I ever had a sex education class or a talk from a parent—I understand how pornography can completely twist a person’s mind until their concept of sex is rooted in an entirely different realm from God’s design. Two things can happen to a man who enters marriage with a pornographic mindset. Either he will be disappointed in his sexual relationship with his wife because it does not look as passionate, experimental or exciting as the porn he has viewed; or he will try to pressure his wife to do things that she is uncomfortable doing. Both hurt the intimacy that a married couple should enjoy in their sexual relationship.

To avoid this, it is important that a couple be completely honest with each other. Vulnerability is essential to a healthy sex life. Communication with one another is crucial. Too often, couples are too embarrassed to discuss their sex lives. The person who has a background in pornography needs to learn to intentionally set aside any perverted thinking that may have infiltrated their mindset and set out to please their spouse in the way that they need. While porn displays a selfish attitude toward sex, God designed it to be a blessing to one another.

Sex is amazing. It is one of the most pleasurable experiences that the Lord has given to us to enjoy on this earth. But pornography destroys sex as God designed. If your mind has been distorted by a false image of sex, perhaps it is time to reject those perversions and embrace God’s design for sex in your married life.

It is completely natural for a person to desire a happy life and fulfilling marriage. However, many women discover that what they believed would bring the most happiness has been the most painful thing in their lives.

It is at this point that women must answer this question: is God truly able to make all things work together for the good of those who love Him?

Steve and Kathy Gallagher founded Pure Life Ministries in 1986 to help men and women find God in the midst of their trials, tribulations and personal sin. This process is laden with suffering, but God’s goal for us is sanctification and, ultimately, eternal life.

Many times, when a struggling Christian hears about the power of repentance, he says to himself, "But I have repented--over and over and over again--but it didn't work."

This video exposes the vast difference between real repentance (which leads to victory) and human resolutions to stop sinning (which have no power).

Join Steve Gallagher as shares more of his testimony and shows how God made repentance a lifestyle for him. You will begin to understand how repentance will break the cycle of addiction and lead to an overcoming life.

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Sin has created a world full of devastation and heartbreak. Many wives often find themselves in terribly painful situations because their husbands have been given over to sexual sin. When a man is stuck in sexual sin, he is unable to see clearly the devastation he is causing because his mind is completely overtaken with sin.  

The message of this world is very clear: protect yourself at all costs. Sadly, this message has found its way into the church by appealing to our own sense of self-love and self-preservation, which are contrary to the Lord’s teachings of self-denial and putting others first.

When Kathy Gallagher discovered her new husband’s sexual addiction, she soon gave up on him, filed for divorce, and found a new partner. She wanted nothing to do with suffering, and so she did her best to forget about him. But it soon became clear to her that if she wanted to follow the Lord, it meant fighting for her marriage. In obedience to Him, she went back to Steve, and despite the suffering, learned to selflessly love the man who had hurt her the most. For more on this subject from Kathy Gallagher, watch part two of this video.

Since 1986, Kathy has brought this message of selfless love to hundreds of wives through the ministry of Pure Life Ministries.

We see it all too often. And we see it from both sides. There is the man who is struggling with sexual sin, with his addiction to pornography, but he thinks, “My problem will all go away when I get married.” Then there is the young woman who knows of her fiancé’s struggles, but she marries him anyway, thinking the same thing: “Marriage will fix him.” Today we answer the question “Should I Marry a Man Struggling with Porn?”

For many Christians, living out their faith doesn’t go far beyond going to church on Sunday, not swearing, and not drinking alcohol. But is this all that defines a Christian? Is this what Jesus was talking about when he posed the question, “when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”

The Apostle Paul’s visit to Ephesus brought about a revival among its citizens characterized by wholehearted devotion to Christ. But what started as a pure and genuine following after the Lord became a faith in formalism, having the appearance of godliness but denying its power. Throughout the history of the Christian church, this downgrade of adoration is a common outcome for many revivals that lose that passionate pursuit of Jesus that marked their inception. Following suit, the American church has become a well-polished machine and its members have become more devoted to Christianity’s doctrines than to Christ Himself.

For the Christian addicted to porn, history cannot repeat itself. There IS power to overcome sexual addiction, but there’s more to it than consistent church attendance. If you’re desperate to be free of your sin, follow Steve Gallagher as he exposes the powerlessness of dead religious activity and encourages believers not to settle for an empty Christian existence.

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It seems reasonable to believe that if a person really wants to change, they will change.

In 1986, Steve Gallagher had a powerful experience of repentance and began fighting with all of his strength to find freedom from sexual sin. But it took him a long time, and there were repeated failures. At first, his wife Kathy thought this meant that he wasn’t actually serious about finding victory. But soon she began to realize that Steve was fighting a very powerful addiction, and that human willpower was not sufficient to break the spiritual chains of pornography addiction.

What is the root of sexual addiction? The answer is not what you are expecting.

In the age in which we live, our culture screams, “Live for self!” The avenues of which are seemingly endless. Advertisements galore call out to us and tell us that in order to be happy and fulfilled we must buy their product or be a part of their experience. Indulgence is not only offered, it is highly encouraged. More often than not, a life of simplicity is seen as strange and scoffed at.

Sexual addiction does not happen overnight. Though a person’s history may include circumstances beyond their control, being held captive to sin, especially pornography, is a process. While addictions vary, every addiction begins with a single experience and grows exponentially because of a lack of a person’s self-control. For the Christian stuck in porn, their hang-up is more the culmination of a life of self-centeredness than anything else.

So what does the Bible say about this kind of life? Steve Gallagher explains how his life was shaped by selfishness which primed him for an uncontrollable obsession with pornography and how understanding the role “self” plays in sexual addiction will lead the Christian into a life of true fulfillment and joy.

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“If he really wanted to stop looking at porn, he would!” This kind of thinking seems very reasonable to a wife who has been hurt by many broken promises.

Kathy Gallagher thought this same thing once. Although Steve had a powerful experience of repentance and was fighting with all of his strength to gain freedom from sexual sin, it took him a long time to really get the victory. At first Kathy thought this meant that he wasn’t serious about changing, but she began to realize how powerful Steve’s addiction was, and that human willpower was not enough to break the spiritual chains of pornography addiction.

What does the fear of the Lord have to do with overcoming an addiction to porn? It’s actually a very vital part of the process. The trend in our grace-saturated church culture is to limit the definition of “fear” to just reverence. While this is part of it, it’s surely not the whole.

Steve Gallagher takes on this critical topic and guides the struggling Christian into how true fear of God will set them on the path to freedom from sexual sin.

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When a Christian woman discovers that her husband is addicted to pornography, and has been lying to her for years, the word devastated doesn’t come close to describing how she feels. We want to suggest that there is good cause for her to get on her knees and begin to fight for her husband’s soul. Today we’re asking the question, “Why Should a Wife Fight for Her Marriage?”