The task of offering counsel to a Christian leader who has fallen into sexual sin may seem very daunting. But it doesn't have to be this way. Pure Life Ministries Assistant Director of Counseling, Jordan Yoshimine, shares some of the wisdom he has gleaned from counseling pastors in sexual sin.

Brooks: All right Jordan, here at Pure Life we often have men come to us for counseling who were pastors or in full-time Christian work. I know you yourself were a church leader before you went through our Residential Program. What is it like counseling a pastor in sexual sin? Is it different than counseling anyone struggling with sexual sin?

Jordan: Actually, not really. You would think that there would be some differences in how you counsel but, Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Romans 3:4 and Psalm 14 say, "There is no one good, no not one. So we're all in the same boat, every single one of us. Every single person on this planet is sinful by nature and needs a Savior and needs Jesus to be their Lord. So, when people step into the counseling office, I just see them as another person in need to really know Jesus as Lord.  

Brooks: Ok, so you're using the Bible to give them the same truth as other men you counsel, but what are some specific challenges that come up when you're trying to counsel a leader?  

Jordan: I think the main challenge for pastors, really for anyone, but specifically for pastors or those who've been in full time Christian work for any length, is that they see themselves as Christians with a small little problem. They see their ministry work and their years or even decades of Christian service as something that they can store up and bring into the counseling office and say, "Hey, I've been a pastor for 40 years," or,  "I've been a worship leader for 10 years," or, "I've served in many different capacities." And I just take them to Galatians 5:16-21 or the parable of the sower and the seed in Matthew 13. I'll take them to John 15:2 and just help them to examine themselves and where they're at spiritually. Matthew 23 is another great example. Jesus calls out the Pharisees for being clean on the outside, but full of dead men's bones inside." So, I guess my main point is that many times the specific challenge we have with pastors is that they come in with a preconceived notion that they're somewhere they're not. They still see themselves as high-level Christians. But they haven't taken the time to really examine themselves.  

Brooks: Is it intimidating to counsel a pastor? I know you were in ministry, but what's that dynamic like.  

Jordan: Several years ago, when I started counseling, I would have said yes because I was unsure of my footing as a biblical counselor. But now, absolutely not. I don't care. If a person walks in my office I see a person in need. The Lord has put us together, ordained it and orchestrated events for us to spend 9 months together and so no I feel like it's my calling to speak truth into whoever sits a cross for me in my office.  

Brooks: Well, thinking about what you're actually telling someone coming out of ministry I want to ask simply, what do you tell them? I would think a lot of times they know the Bible and some of the things that you probably bring up, maybe even better than you do.  

Jordan: Yeah. In fact, I even use that in counseling, especially when I see they have a lot of degrees and titles behind their name. And one of the first things I ask these men is "You seem to know the Bible. You've done a lot of studying about the Word of God and yet, you're still here in this program. So, where did the Word of God and the all that knowledge get you?" I want to kind of help them see and help them really question where they really are at. That's kind of the bottom line. Those first couple weeks or months in counseling is to get them to see that they're not where they think they are spiritually. So yeah, I mean we'll just go back to scripture and go over John 15. We'll go over Matthew 23. We'll go over Romans 1. We'll go over Galatians 5 and several other passages. I just had a counseling session with a gentleman who's been in ministry for almost 2 decades and when we read those passages he started weeping. It was like he was reading that for the first time. So, it's amazing when you actually get in this setting what the Lord can do and when the Holy Spirit comes in and breathes life into the Word where before it was something this man had read and something he knew, but there was no actual application to that in his own life and in his own heart.  

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Brooks: I'm sure you've seen all kinds of reactions from pastors or leaders that you're counseling. What are some of the extremes of how people take that, when they're hearing you question where they're at and hearing you teach them things they already know. How does that go? I imagine it goes differently each time.  

Jordan: Yeah unfortunately, we can't drag people into a life with Christ or into a deeper walk or to return to their first love. We're never going to say, "You're not saved." We're going to provide the evidence in the Bible and go to Scriptures and let them decide for themselves where they're at. And at that point, some say, "No. I'm going to stay and believe what I believe and believe in my past." They're not willing to really let go and surrender all those years of service. It's unfortunate. I take them to Matthew 7, and I tell them people are going to get before Jesus - before the Lord - and before the Father and say, "Lord, Lord did we not do all these things?"  And the Lord is going to say, "Depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness. Depart from Me, I never knew you." It's unfortunate that even when faced with all those Scriptures, people harden their hearts. They're exposed to so much truth in the counseling office and in our in our services and their homework. In just daily life in our Residential Program and even our Overcomers-at-Home Program their faced with truth. Unfortunately, a lot of times, people who have been in ministry just say no. They aren't willing to face reality. They aren't really willing to examine their heart. They want to stay in religion. That's the main thing. People don't want to move into a relationship with the Lord. They want to stay in the religious aspect of Christianity, which isn't Christianity at all. It's really aligning yourself with the devil. You can’t serve two masters, and if you're not in a relationship with the Lord, you could still be doing Christian things and doing all the right things like tithing or attending church, even preaching a sermon or whatever and yet, have no reality of Jesus in your life. We see many many people get stuck in religion and their own version of Christianity. They get stuck in the version of Christianity of many of today's evangelical churches. It's really sad. It really is.  

Brooks: I know someone's going to have to go through counseling to really receive the full impact of what they need if they're finding themselves stuck in ministry, but also in sin. But I did think, maybe you could end by giving us a few of the key points that you try to emphasize during the time you're working with a pastor or a leader who's come to you for help.  

Jordan: You know Brooks, it really is awesome when a pastor or a worship leader, someone who's been in ministry or has been a missionary really comes to the foot of the Cross in complete submission to the Father, surrendering his will to the Lordship of Christ and coming into saving faith. Because, when that happens, there is something beautiful. It's like a transaction takes place in in the heavenlies, where a man trades religion in for a relationship like I was talking about. And then, when we talk about the things of the Lord, and we talk about the future or just their life in Christ, it is amazing to see that they just want Jesus and it's just about Jesus. It becomes just about being in a relationship with Jesus. And many of these men that come in are married and have kids, and they begin to see the value and the need of what God's really calling them to. First, they're called to be the spiritual leader in their home. When they come into that relationship with Christ, many times that's where I focus a lot of my attention. Especially with those who are married or are even divorced and have kids. I really work and focus on Ephesians 5:25-31: serving their wife and loving their wife and leading their wife, preparing her to be the pure and spotless bride of Christ. And then ministry, that just kind of sits on the back burner. You know, a pastor or worship leader should not go directly back into ministry. So, my focus is always on the marriage. If their single, then we focus on being a dispenser of God's mercy to their family and to those whose lives they've devastated, into really sowing seeds of faith and love back into those they've hurt. So, it's definitely not directing them back to ministry. It's leading them into a relationship with the Lord. If they're married, definitely into being the priest of their home.

We all know the physical principle of cause and effect. Our natural actions on earth always have a natural result.

But we often forget that this applies to spiritual things as well. We think of obedience to God in terms of a list of rules…do’s and don’t’s, failing to remember that when God tells us to obey Him, He’s inviting us into a life where we reap a wonderful spiritual harvest.

In this episode we are going to talk about "A Lifestyle of Obedience is a Lifestyle of Blessing."

Faith is such an integral part of Christianity that it is often referred to as "the Christian faith."

Faith is the subject of sermons, songs and movies and is featured on artwork, decorations and even clothing. But for the Christian who has been bound by sexual sin for years, it can be difficult to really have faith in what the Bible says about freedom. Why? Because their experience seems to contrary to faith. Today, we are going to look at why faith is the victory over sexual addiction.

The fight for freedom from sexual sin is often a long, drawn out battle.

Failures along the way are so common that nearly every one has asked themselves, "Why does it have to be this way? Why doesn’t God snap his fingers and make me holy? Why do I have to go through the pain of trying and failing numerous times before I finally start to achieve victory? How do I respond if I fall back into sin?"

These are all common questions, and ones we will address on this episode of Purity for Life!

No sincere Christian parent wants to discover that their child is viewing porn. Unfortunately, the ever-increasing sexualization of the youth is making this more of a reality. Navigating through this issue to a good resolution may seem daunting or even impossible. Do not fear! With God, all things are possible! Pure Life Ministries has seen the Lord’s transforming power for decades. Pornography cannot stand when the Lord is at the center of the fight.

What would you say if we told you that this is a blessing in disguise? You’d probably say we're crazy. But laying aside your worries and having clear mindedness will help you see that God is granting you and your child a pivotal opportunity to learn some valuable and foundational aspects to living the Christian life as we confront the culture.

In this episode of Ask the Counselor, Josh Bergstrom discusses how Christian parents can respond to this weighty matter using Biblical principles. You will be able to guide your child with confidence as you work your way through to the end knowing that the Lord is with you as you follow His design and purpose.

One of the greatest dangers to Christians in modern America is worldliness. And yet, in this day and age, if a sincere pastor declares that God requires His people to live holy and separated lives, his words are often dismissed as legalistic, or worse, as an attack on the grace of God.

But the Word of God tells us that if we are a friend of the world, we make ourselves enemies of God. The biblical call to holiness must not be dismissed, but properly understood and then lived out.

All right, I get the pleasure of talking about the second temptation out of Matthew 4 verses 5 through 7. By way of introduction, something you'll see if you look at the word temptation throughout Scripture, you'll find that it's a Greek word that is variously translated. Sometimes it's the word temptation or tempt but it also gets translated in some versions of scripture as testing or trial. It's the same word behind it. It's kind of interesting don't you think that our temptations on the one hand are temptations and on the other hand they’re trials. I think that is exactly the way we need to see them in reality. It's like 2 sides of the same coin. There is that devilish side—I like to think of it as the tails side on my coin—where he's making his appeal always to your lower nature, the worst part of you. And he’s hoping that he can con you into falling, into failing, into rebelling against God in some measure. Ultimately, gratifying yourself at God's expense in some manner. But, on the other side of that coin God is there. God is in that situation with you and he's making his appeal to a higher nature: the divine nature that he has put in you. His desire of course, is that you endure that temptation, that you withstand that temptation. Because, the fruits, the spoils of that victory is character. It's the character of Christ that he's after. There's no shortcut to that. And, that's one of the reasons why temptations/tests/trials have to come into our life. They have a divine purpose that you can't overlook. I would just suggest that it will help us at times, in the midst of the situation when we feel it as an overwhelming temptation, just remember there's another side to this coin. God’s here with me trying to give me some character out of this.

So let's look at Matthew 4 beginning in verse 5 and pick up the account here:  

Then the devil took him [Jesus] up into the holy city, set him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to him “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down for it is written ‘He shall give his angels charge over you and in their hands they shall bear you up lest you dash your foot against a stone’” but Jesus said to him, “it is written again [or also] ‘you shall not tempt the Lord your God.’”

So, it's interesting when I see this.  In my Bible I have it underlined that the devil took him up to throw him down. That's kind of interesting isn't it? It tells you something about your adversary, that's just the kind of guy he is. He takes you up but it's always to throw you down.

Along with that, there is a lot you could say about the devil. I don't want to get off on a tangent on that but there is that devilish aspect in every temptation that you're dealing with. Notice in this passage, it really stands out to me how brazen he really is. He has no fear walking up to the Son of God and holding a conversation with him. He has no fear of taking him into the holy city as it's termed here in this passage. He has no qualms even about taking him to the temple in the holy city, the holiest place of the Holy City if you could say it that way. We need to keep that in mind sometimes. Don't think that you're going to get to the place where you're in this holy place where you won't be tempted.

I mean I really thought that when I came here as a student--maybe not so much consciously--but I remember being frustrated that here I am months into this program and I'm still tempted by lust. And a very wise person just pointed out to me, "Well, did you think you would get past where Jesus got? Did you think that you would arrive in a place where you wouldn't be tempted anymore?" And, well yeah, I think maybe I did. But I was wrong, OK. So this let that be a lesson to us. Also, you notice it doesn't really matter where you are. I hear guys talk about it sometimes and I've experienced it myself, coming into this chapel on what we consider a holy hill Kentucky. Here is our sanctuary, our holiest place and there are guys who have struggled with lustful, or filthy thoughts anyway, right here in this room. Because that's the way the devil works. He's not deterred by any of those things. The only boundaries he observes as I read it out of the Book of Job, are the boundaries God puts on him.

So then, we see that he's taken Jesus up into this holy location, and what does he do with him there? He quotes Scripture to him! Isn't that an amazing thing? He quotes Scripture. In the 1st temptation Jesus defeated him, how? By quoting a very resourceful passage of Scripture that applied right to the specific situation he was dealing with. I've had conversations with guys at times and and I've asked them, "What verses do you use to battle your lustful temptations?" and you'll be amazed at the answers I get. I suggest that you make sure that you've picked a verse that applies to the temptation you're dealing with. That's what's meant to be conveyed here in these 3 accounts as well, that we need to choose the right weapon when we go at the enemy back with Scripture. So, he comes at Jesus with scripture and really he's essentially saying, "Look that worked for you and you won that round. So, let me try scripture and see what happens." And he comes out and says, "If you are the Son of God throw yourself down, for it is written 'He shall give his angels charge over you and in their hands they shall bear you up lest you dash your foot against a stone.'" Right out of Psalm 91 verses 11&12. He left out one little phrase, but even the commentators generally agree that it's really insignificant. He did accurately quote this passage. That was kind of surprising to me the first time I looked that up. I remember years ago looking it up and thinking "I wonder what he distorted here. I wonder what he left out or somehow misquoted scripture." And, I was stunned in a way to discover that he actually quotes it rather accurately and he certainly conveyed the meaning of that passage accurately. But, there is a devilish twist in all of this, I guess I should point that out, because he didn't misquote it but he certainly is misapplying it. And that's just as bad and something we have to take note of for ourselves. And again, even within the last couple of weeks I've talked to guys who are doing this exact same thing; going around in circles over certain passages of Scripture that they're misapplying and totally refusing to acknowledge that the Word of God says a lot more than just this one little narrow chunk that they're stuck on. So let that be a lesson to some of us.  

"If you are the Son of God" he says to him. The passage immediately preceding this encounter with temptation in the wilderness was his baptism. Where the heavens opened, and what did God say? "This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased." Right? "This is my beloved son." The first words out of Satan's mouth, even on that 1st temptation: "If you are the Son of God." You see how he comes against the very nuggets of truth that God gives you? That's what he attacks. As soon as you receive it, he's after it. He contends against every bit of truth that God's trying to give you and tries to get you to doubt it or to let go of it.  

But, Jesus' response here is also very instructive. He knows the heart of God very well. That's kind of where I was going earlier when I was talking about misapplying the Word of God. It is true, we have to know the Word of God, and you have to know all of the Word of God. But, I want to say to you that it's even more than that. We have to know the heart of God. That's the real antidote for keeping us from misapplying scripture, when we know the heart of God. And that's one of the reasons why we have those mercy studies classes every Sunday night with you guys, because you have to know that God's will is mercy. You have to know his heart. You have to know God's character in a very full and rich way, because that's your real antidote for these kinds of things.  

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So, Jesus knows the heart of God very well and he has no problem recognizing that this temptation, even though it's based on Scripture, is a twisted, deformed appeal to pride. And he doesn't fall for it. He says "It is written again [or it's also written] you shall not tempt the Lord your God." I want to take a couple minutes and talk about this now from a biblical counseling perspective where we talk a lot about putting off and putting on. So, there's some putting off that needs to happen here and it's pretty clear. "You shall not tempt the Lord your God." The thing you need to put off is tempting God. Satan's appeal here is trying to get Jesus to accept this counterfeit of faith, this presumption. He's trying to push him over into presumption instead of faith in the Word of God, to use it as a reckless license instead of actually living on it as word of truth and faith. And, we have been guilty of using God's promises as licenses  to sin or or excuses for reckless sinful behaviors. I can remember driving to an adulterous relationship appointment and asking God to keep me safe while I'm driving the car, because it was a real fear of mine that that's how I would get exposed somehow.  

I just say that because that's the kind of thing that Satan was after here, to try and get us to to act presumptuously on the Word of God. Perhaps in your life it's more like asking him to bless your finances while you're freely spending on pornography. Or, asking God to give you a wife, or to restore your marriage if you were married, but all the while you're consuming everything He's giving you on your self life. Why would he give you one of his daughters in that circumstance? But that's the kind of thing we're like, "but God, your word says you won't withhold any good thing from us and He who finds a wife finds a good thing." I mean, I've heard all the arguments and they get trumped up and played in bold letters sometimes.  But when you're still consumed with self, why would he do any of those things?  

In the pulpit commentary about this verse it says:  

In this refusal of Christ are implicitly condemned all who run before they are sent, who thrust themselves into perils to which they are not called, all who would fain be reformers but whom God has not raised up and equipped for the work of reformation, and who therefore for the most part bring themselves and their cause together to shame, dishonor, and defeat with all those who presumptuously draw drafts on the faithfulness of God [write a check on the faithfulness of God] with no Scriptural warrant to justify them in believing that he will honor it.  

There's something even deeper I want to get at here. Because if we let Scripture interpret scripture, Jesus's reply came out of Deuteronomy 6:16. And if you look at that verse it's actually a reference back even further to Exodus chapter 17. This is what it means really Scripturally to tempt the Lord. It says out of Exodus,  

Then all the congregation of the children of Israel set out on their journey from the Wilderness of Sin, according to the commandment of the Lord, and camped in Rephidim; but there was no water for the people to drink. Therefore the people contended with Moses, and said, “Give us water, that we may drink.”  

So Moses said to them, “Why do you contend with me? Why do you tempt the Lord?”  

And the people thirsted there for water, and the people complained against Moses, and said, “Why is it you have brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?”  

You hear their attitude loud and clear right?  

So Moses cried out to the Lord, saying, “What shall I do with this people? They are almost ready to stone me!”  

And the Lord said to Moses, “Go on before the people, and take with you some of the elders of Israel. Also take in your hand your rod with which you struck the river, and go. Behold, I will stand before you there on the rock in Horeb; and you shall strike the rock, and water will come out of it, that the people may drink.”  

And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel  So he called the name of the place Massah and Meribah, because of the contention of the children of Israel, and because they tempted the Lord, saying, “Is the Lord among us or not?”  

It's that phrase that I was after, "Is the Lord among us or not?" because I feel like that question is in our hearts more than we recognize. It may not have that exact wording to it but it's the question: "Is the Lord really here this morning in the service? Is the Lord really here at Pure Life Ministries? Is His power really here to set me free from addiction? Or, is he really able to help me in my daily battles with temptation? Is he really here? Is the Lord really in this place?" Think about the things that make you angry or anxious and you've probably often found yourself saying some version of "Is the Lord really in this? Is the Lord really in these difficult situations?". We have enough trouble sometimes convincing you that he's really in the job we sent you to, or the roommate we assigned you to. Could the lack of finances be the hand of God? You know that's another way this question gets asked in our hearts. "Does God really want me to suffer like this?"

And if we took it outside of the ministry, I think the most common version of that question that is being asked by professing Christians today is, "Is the Lord in this marriage?". You see the tempting of the Lord that's going on in our hearts when we say things like that now?

We're just like those Israelites. We're quick to murmur, quick to complain. And, even if we're willing to give God credit for the blessings in our life, we're still quick to think that he has nothing to do with the difficulties or the hardships or the testings or the trials of my life. You've got to get past that. There needs to be that putting on then. So you put off those kinds of questions, and what you need to put on in their place is some faith that God is in these things, that this is the hand of God. That's really the secret to biting your tongue instead of complaining, recognizing the hand of God in the situation, acknowledging the hand of God in it, knowing in your heart that everything that's happening in your life, in your circumstances has passed through his hands. I can tell you, I was telling someone this just earlier this week. I have literally been, you know I have a little chair where I do my prayer time in the mornings, and I have literally been writhing in that chair with tears running down my face in just complete turmoil and anguish inside. But, what brings me through days like that is that awareness that, "God you're in this." That's what I end up telling God, "This is you. You're doing this. You're in this. You meant for this. You saw all this. You planned this. You're allowing this for a good purpose in my life. And, I don't want to miss that just because I'm being a crybaby right now." You have to say things like that to Him. God is with us, that's one of his names, Emmanuel-God with us. He really is with us. Especially when you think he's not. And he's not merely with us, but he understands everything we're going through. He was tested and tempted in all points like we are, so that he could be our help in our time of need. Remember then, that that testing is to produce his character in you.  

I just want to close with the thought that this episode that I'm talking about here didn't end right here at the end of verse 7. I believe that this ends in Revelation 12:10. "Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, 'Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.'" Amen. Who is it that's going to get cast down? Not Jesus, Satan. His own words are going to come back on him. Praise God for that.  

In early 2011, I did something that I vowed I would never have to do again. I found myself filling out an application to enter a residential program for Christians in bondage. The first time I had completed a similar application was in 2002, as I took the necessary steps to enter a Teen Challenge facility in Florida. I was eighteen years old, completely given over to drugs and sexual sin, and spiritually lost. The Lord used that program in a remarkable way to open my eyes to the Gospel, and to bring me to repentance and belief in Christ. At that time, I could never have imagined that I would be entering another program as a resident nine years later. I had thought I was ready to enjoy my new life in Christ and make an impact on the world.  

Contrary to my expectations, things did not turn out the way I had originally intended. Instead of taking the world for Jesus, I re-opened the door to sexual sin, and began a slow fade away from my first love in Christ. This brought me to a point of desperation, which is why I was writing my name, address and other pertinent information on an application for Pure Life Ministries, hoping that I would be accepted into their Residential Program.  

As I filled out the application, I found it interesting that they wanted to know details about my devotional life. They inquired about my prayer life and how much time I spent with the Lord. They were interested in how often I read the Scriptures. As I wrote my answers, I could not see the correlation between my prayer life with the Lord and the addiction that had caused me to come to a place where I was willing to submit my life to another program. “I just need help with this addiction in my life. I need to get free from porn. Why are they asking all of these questions about my spiritual life?”  

I probably breezed through that section, filling it out as quickly as possible. I am certain that I gave the impression that things were fine between me and God. If Pure Life Ministries wanted to dig into my issue, they should be asking more about my painful experiences as a child. They should be paying attention to the fact that I was exposed to pornography at age seven. But asking me about how much I prayed and read the Bible seemed completely irrelevant to my situation. I spent some time in prayer and still read the Bible. Sure, it was not as rich an experience as it had been early on in my relationship with the Lord, but it was not completely gone. That was my attitude as I finalized the application, sent it to the ministry and soon arrived at 95 Narrow Way in Dry Ridge, Kentucky.  

However, on the other side of the amazing work of repentance that the Lord did in my life during my time at Pure Life Ministries Residential Program, my perspective is dramatically different. Now I can see that there is a direct correlation between the quality of one’s prayer life and true freedom from sexual sin. You see, before finally submitting myself to the program, I had tried many avenues to get free. I had confessed to my wife and leadership around me. I had gone to a Christian psychologist to dig through my broken past. I had been diagnosed and medicated for mental illness. I had attended twelve-step program meetings. I had shed tears of sorrow. I had made several attempts to “fix” my problem… but none of them required true repentance.  

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Essentially—without realizing it—I was trying to treat the symptoms without dealing with the root issue. I was looking for someone else to blame for the mess I had created. I was hoping that a program or a pill was going to cure me. But I see now that the very root of my condition was my sin. And sin is a spiritual issue. Until I was willing to truly repent and get my heart right with the Lord, I was spinning my wheels. And one clear indicator about a person’s relationship with God is his or her prayer life.  

True prayer is the intimate communication that believers enjoy with the Lord. When we allow sin into our lives, it will affect the quality of our prayer lives. Just like Adam and Eve immediately hid from the Lord after giving into their sin (Gen 3:8), the same happens to us when we live in unrepentant sin. We may still go through the motions of prayer. Most of us who profess Christ know enough words and formulas to go through the act of praying whether it comes from the heart or not. But the true joy and connection with the Lord fades when we allow sin into our lives. This is why Pure Life’s application included questions about the quality of my life in God. Because they understand the clear connection between purity and prayer.  

Ironically, when I am counseling people today who are in similar circumstances to where I was when I applied to Pure Life Ministries, some of my first questions are, “What is your relationship with God like? How often do you pray? What is the quality of your devotional life?” Of course, someone can read the Bible and spend time in prayer and not automatically find freedom. But the quality of one’s prayer life serves as a great indicator of a person’s relationship with God. And when people are able to see that their sin is affecting their relationship with the Lord, then they are able to deal with the root of the issue and begin the painful but beautiful process of repentance.  

If sexual sin has stolen the intimacy from your prayer life, here are a few practical steps you can take today to move toward restoration:  

1. Get totally honest with yourself.
   Evaluate your prayer life and determine its true quality. Is the passion of your heart to seek the Lord or are you going through the motions? Can you honestly say that you are truly in love with Jesus?
   
2. Go to the Lord in open honesty and confess your sin.
   Insist on having true communication with Him. Tell him about what you are experiencing. Cry out to Him for help. And obey whatever He leads you to do.
   
3. Take steps of repentance.
   Expose your sin to a spiritual leader in your life. Confess to those around you whom your sin has impacted. Put boundaries around yourself and close every door to your sin.
   
4. Set aside some time every day to speak to God one-on-one.
   Be adamant to keep this time from becoming a religious exercise. Instead, pour your heart out to the Lord and ask Him to help reignite the fire of your relationship with Him. He wants to help you. He promises if you seek Him, He will be found by you. (Jeremiah 29:13)
   
5. Seek further help if needed.
   Some people, like me, need more help to get free. For those people, Pure Life Ministries offers both a Residential Program for men and an over-the-phone program for men or women. Give them a call today at 800-PURE-LIFE and share your situation and ask what they would recommend. I made that call nine years ago, and I have never regretted my decision to fill out that application, enter the program and have a powerful encounter with the God who is able to set the captive free.

How many times have you promised yourself, “I will never do that again!” but soon found that you were doing it all over again? If that cycle continues long enough, you may start believing that you cannot possibly stand against these powerful temptations.

That’s what Steve Gallagher used to think, until he learned how to win the battle against temptation.

In this episode we continue to share with you the truths found in our YouTube Series, “20 Truths that Helped Me in My Battle with Porn Addiction.” Today’s topic? “Temptation is a Winnable Battle.”

None of us would ever dream of only eating once a week, once a month, once every 6 months. If this is true, why do so many Christians only eat from God’s word every so often?

In this segment from our archives, Mike Johnston and Jeff Colon discuss why a vibrant walk with God requires daily time in the Word as well as how to establish that time in the morning when everything in us just wants to go back to bed.

Mike: Jeff, we want to continue on in our series talking about redeeming the time. In today's program we want to talk about redeeming our time in the sense of spending time in God's word. Why do you think that is so important especially in the day and age that we live in?  

Jeff: Well Mike, I think we don't realize the atmosphere of this world and how intoxicating it can be to our spiritual eyes. And, we don't realize how much this society we're living in today can deaden our spiritual lives and our need for spiritual sustenance in our lives.  

Mike: Talk a little about that, the need for spiritual sustenance. I know that so many people in the church, and certainly it was an aspect of my life before coming to Pure Life Ministries, that I just go to church on Sunday or maybe on Wednesday, and then the rest of the time I just live my life. Why is it so critical? Why do we need spiritual sustenance?  

Jeff: Well Mike, I believe like it says in that scripture in Ephesians 5, that we need to have a walk that is circumspect. In other words, we need to be aware, we need to be alert. Jesus many times exhorts us to be sober and that verse basically tells us one way to do that is to redeem our time because the days are evil. It's just imperative Mike that we need to realize that our time is valuable. We can't just squander it away because once it's gone we can't gain it. And, I believe one key feature in redeeming our time is really getting into the Word of God.  

Mike: You mentioned that the days are evil. Certainly it is true that everywhere we look—of course, we're dealing with men coming out of sexual sin here in our Residential Program—we are just bombarded with the messages of the enemy who is out to destroy our souls, and, even if we are a believer, to destroy the testimony we have for God and the intimacy that God wants to have with us.  

Jeff: That really is so true Mike. And, as Christians we're called to have the mind of Christ or, if I can say this way, think Biblically. We don't realize how much the message of this world in so many different ways that it comes to us through media, t.v., magazines, and just being out in this world, really does affect our thinking and our perspectives on life and how much we need the Word of God. We've counseled so many people who have come to our programs, and what you come to see is that many Christians, many people who would call themselves believers really don't look at life through the lens of Scripture. A lot of times they're seeing it how the world perceives things and that's why their lives are not where they need to be in the Lord. We need God's perspectives, we need the word as a lamp, a light unto our path as we go through our lives in this world.

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Mike: You know, even the men who go through our Residential Program, those who struggle after they leave the program almost inevitably—if you ask him what changed after they left the program—will tell you, “Well I got busy and I stopped spending time in the Word of God. I stopped my prayer time.” That’s where you really see, even in a man where something tremendous happened in his heart while he was here, that without that we’re just left to the whims of whatever is blowing around us.  

Jeff: It's so true Mike, and I many times use David as an example. Here's a man that walked with God but we know what happened. But, at one time in David's life before he fell with Bathsheba, he understood the need for God. In Psalm 63 verse 1 he says, “God you're my God. Early will I seek you. My soul thirsts for you, my flesh longs for you in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.” And that verse to me really depicts a Christian's journey through life. When we're here on earth we're kind of like sojourners passing through, but it's a barren wasteland. There's nothing in this world that's going to feed our soul spiritually. We really need to learn that only God can give us what we need and there's nothing in this world that's going to create a vibrant walk with God. So, we need to understand our need to be seeking God early and getting in his word and finding our nourishment from him.  

Mike: All right, now you just laid out one of the first stumbling blocks for guys. Seek the Lord early. You know, the truth is Jeff, that—and we all have these days—I have days when I get up and I just want to roll over and go back to bed, go back to sleep. We have a dear saint that comes to Pure Life Ministries and I like the way he says, “there are days when you just have to pick yourself up by the scruff of you neck and drag yourself into the Word of God.” Talk a little bit to those who maybe don't sense this hunger that you're talking about for the Word of God. What do you do when you don't have that hunger?  

Jeff: Well first of all, I would encourage them to let God make them hungry. Yes, that's what I said, allow God to make you hungry. In other words, it means I have a decision to make. God will establish a hunger in our lives, but what I have found for myself is that if I'm not reading the word, I'm not going to be hungry for it. But, when I get in the word, just like when I went in the program myself and was required to read the Bible, what I found that after doing that for a while was it started creating a hunger in my life. And, I would encourage anyone out there that if you don't have that hunger get in the Bible, get over Psalm 119. I've used that Psalm many times when I have felt that hunger waning in my life and there are wonderful prayers in there that we can pray to the Lord, even though maybe they're not a reality in our own lives, we could pray through that Psalm. It takes about 20 minutes to pray through that Psalm and you could do that every day and I guarantee you, if you do that God will begin to create a hunger in your heart for His word.  

<pull-quote>God will establish a hunger in our lives, but what I have found is that if I'm not reading the word, I'm not going to be hungry for it.<pull-quote><tweet-link>Tweet This<tweet-link>

Mike: Yeah that is so true. That is my testimony I know. Sometimes when we think about the Lord meeting our needs we think of, well, I have a need for a job, or, I have a need for healing or whatever it may be. But, what I have learned in recent years is that even the things that God is calling us to do, if we don't have it in us—and back in our flesh we don't have it in us—if we will ask him to give us that desire he is faithful to do that.  

Jeff: Absolutely. He says if we ask anything according to His Will it's done, and I believe it's God's will that we read His Word and actually Paul admonishes us to allow the word of Christ to dwell richly in us in all wisdom. So, if God is telling us to do that, we're asking him to give us a hunger for that, well, he's going to do it.  

Mike: Yes, that's his heart and he wants to meet our needs. Let's just finish up on this: you just mentioned that verse, Colossians 3:16, “to allow the word of Christ to dwell in us richly.” What I hear from that Scripture is that, yes we need to be in the Word of God, we need to be reading the Word of God and allowing the Word of God to get into us, but the other half of that is we need to be living out and walking out what God is showing us in His word.  

Jeff: Absolutely when that says “in all wisdom” to me again wisdom depicts a perspective in life. In other words, it means I govern and I live my life according to the perspectives of God's word.  

Mike: Amen. Well Jeff we appreciate your time and thanks so much for talking to us again about redeeming the time.  

Jeff: Thanks Mike.  

For the man struggling to be free from sexual sin, the world around us is a difficult place to be. Billboards, television, magazines and the internet barrage us with images that draw the eye and entice the heart. If a man is used to caving into these temptations, how can he find the strength to resist the allure and keep a pure heart and mind?

As we talked about in our last episode, Scripture plays a huge part in this, but there is another vital part to living in freedom. This week, we will look at how time spent in prayer transforms us into the image of Christ and gives us the strength we need—his strength—to resist temptation. To win the Battle of Temptation, You Must Have a Prayer Life.

When a man determines to be free from pornography, one of the things he is immediately confronted with is how much his mind has been polluted by porn’s filthiness.

Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is living and active and full of power...” We here at Pure Life Ministries place a huge emphasis on having a daily, vibrant relationship with the Bible because we have experienced its effect in our own lives and have watched it work wonders in the lives of the men we counsel.

Today we are looking at how Scripture will restructure a pornographic mindset.

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