When a Christian parent finds out that their child has been looking at pornography, they are often thrown into a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Where did we go wrong? Why would my child do such a thing? How will we ever recover from this? If the Lord has allowed you as a parent to discover your child viewing porn, don’t despair.

There are clear answers to your questions, and there is a path forward. There are basic spiritual principles that will help you find the right mindset to guide your child into victory in the battle for sexual purity.

In this week’s episode, we wrap up our series on The Message of the Cross. Jesus taught that anyone who would save his life must first lose it, and He demonstrated this by laying His own life down at Calvary.

But today, the gospel being preached looks very different, promising life to everyone without requiring them to follow Jesus’ example. This false gospel wants the resurrection, but no Cross. So, many in the church are unaware of what it really means to follow Jesus example. They are still the master of their own lives and bear no resemblance to Christ.

Mike: Steve, today we want to deal with a question that came from an individual that has a history of sexual sin. Their question really revolves around finding a spouse after being involved in sexual sin. How does one go about finding a spouse?  

Steve: Well, there's a couple of different things this guy should consider. You know, first of all, the importance of repentance. When you are living in a lifestyle of repentance, it allows the Lord to go to work on restoring your innocence. And that's absolutely vital for a guy like this, because guys that have been in sin, they're single, and then all of a sudden want to get their life together and want to get married and all that. In their mind, they're going straight from this single life filled with perversion into married life. And they don't understand that their interior world needs to go through a complete upheaval, a complete changeover.  

Mike: They have been just, completely corrupted inside if they've been involved in sexual sin.  

Steve: Right, and they tend to think, "Well, I'll just get married." But they don't understand that they'll bring that corruption into the marriage. So, the first thing he has to do is to just let God do His work transforming him inside as a person.  

Mike: Ok Steve, so after this individual has begun to allow the Lord to do a work in his inside world, is there anything else that you would share with him that would be of a benefit to him?  

Steve: Well, one of the things that really stands out to me about his question is, "How does one find a spouse?" I really want to address that for a second, because if you're walking with the Lord and you're in His will, you don't have to be concerned about finding a spouse. God is going to do it for you. If you are in His will, He is going to bring the right person into your life, assuming of course it's His will. So, I really want to stress this because, there are so many Christians out there that are trying to take it into their own hands. You know, going through Christian dating services and singles groups just for the purpose of finding a spouse. And all that tends to do is to get them into relationships that are not God-ordained. It's so much better to just really pray about it and put it into God's hands and trust Him with the whole situation and then just get on with his life with God. And I have seen it happen so many times. When a guy is willing to do that, the Lord brings Miss Perfect into his life. He could have never found this girl himself, by his own efforts. But by allowing the Lord to do it, he ends up with the girl that he's meant to have.

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Mike: We're so prone, particularly in America today, to try to take control of things ourselves. And this is just another one of those areas where we just don't seem to be wanting to trust God to have control over our lives.  

Steve: Yeah, well it kind of touches on a larger issue which is: people say they put their trust in God, but do they really? This is an enormous decision for a person. You're going to live with the consequences of it for the rest of your life. And we say we trust the Lord, but yet even with monumental decisions like this, we immediately reveal the truth. The fact is, most people trust themselves and not the Lord.  

Mike: We see so many examples in Scripture of the consequences, the very profound consequences sometimes, of not trusting the Lord and doing things, maybe not even seemingly evil things, but just going our own way in our own will. And certainly, the Scripture says, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and then all these things will be added unto you."  

Steve: Yeah, that's right.  

Mike: So good advice and hopefully that will be an encouragement and hopefully some wise direction to those out there who may be seeking a spouse.

The Bible says, “The Message of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God.” Could it be that multitudes of professing Christians are trapped in sexual sin because they have rejected The Message of the Cross, and thus have been denied its power?

Today we continue to discuss The Message of the Cross, and why it is so important to realize the depth of our sinful condition before a holy God. Without it, we are devoid of strength to turn from our sins, strangers to the true power of God.

Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” This is The Message of The Cross and, it stands against our culture which seeks what it wants, when it wants, how it wants.

Anyone who wants to follow Jesus must be willing to go through the painful process of dying to this self-centered mindset. But amazingly, as we surrender to the way of the Cross we are deeply transformed. Today we look at the message of the Cross, and how it demands the death of self-lives.

Mike: Steve, we want to continue a discussion we began last week stemming from your book, Standing Firm Through the Great Apostasy, on the subject The Message of the Cross. Now, in our previous interview, we talked a little bit about what happened on Calvary, the horror of that event, what the Father went through and what Jesus went through. We also talked about the relationship between Jesus and His disciples. Specifically, we discussed the difference of heart response between the eleven disciples and that of Judas. Today, we want to dig a little bit deeper into what exactly the Message of the Cross is. You have a perspective on that stemming from what Jesus actually said in the Gospels, correct?  

Steve: Well, what happened was that Jesus started warning the disciples that he was going to be arrested and crucified. You see that in Luke 9 and also in Matthew 16. It's actually in all four gospels, the only teaching that's in all four gospels. The words He said are extremely important to the Christian. He said, "If anyone wishes to come after Me..." Now that sums up everyone who calls themselves a Christian. There are three things he must do, Jesus says, "he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me.  

Mike: Well Steve, let's take a look at those three statements in the verse. Let's start with denying himself. Now, what does that really mean, to deny yourself?  

Steve: Well we have to understand that, first of all, in the sight of a holy God, we are criminals. So, to come into Christianity requires repentance. That is a message rarely heard anymore. Today we hear something more along the lines of, "accept Jesus to be your Savior," or, "trust Jesus," kind of, nice little terms. But biblical repentance means something far different. It means a complete 180, a complete change of direction. You know, you're going through life doing your own thing, never mind the big outward sins, but just doing your own thing as a rebel. Doing a 180 means that you stop that. You repent and you turn back towards God and He becomes the Boss in your life. But the problem is that you have a mountain of crimes in your life that you are culpable for.  

Mike: Steve, it seems that so many in the church, and we can include ourselves at some point in our lives, compare themselves to others and we can always see people worse off than us. And the problem is, we actually end up thinking we're pretty good.  

Steve: That's the reality. We don't see the depravity of our nature the way we should. We don't see how bad we have been. We don't see our little acts of selfishness, our pride, our resentments, our envies, the petty little things that we've done. We don't see our gossiping, backbiting, anger and the hatred that's in our heart towards certain people. We don’t see the self-righteousness. We don't see that all those things that seem so petty and minor to us that stand out as enormous crimes before a holy and pure God. So, when you come into Christianity, there has to be a repentance of what you have been, of who you have been as a person. But most people kind of just come into the church thinking they're doing God some great favor by attending church on Sundays or by not partying on the weekends.  

Mike: You used two scenarios in your book, Steve, that I felt really helped to bring out how we just don't see ourselves rightly.  

Steve: Scenario one is a guy named James. He comes and stands before God, and the devil is his accuser. The devil is the prosecutor who’s telling God all the bad things that James has done. Then Jesus steps in and says, "Now wait a minute, I'm going to take his sin upon myself and he can be made free. After all, James is a pretty good guy. He's not that bad, so I'm going to take it upon myself." Here, Jesus acts as not only the defense attorney, defending James as he is wrongfully attacked by the devil, but also offers to take the sentence upon himself. And the Father, who is the Judge in this picture, says, "OK, case dismissed. James is free to go."  

Mike: You know, when I first read that, I thought that’s kind of how it is, right?  

Steve: Yeah, and you know where we get that at is Revelation 12:10 where Satan is called the accuser of the brethren. But Satan is never called the accuser of sinners. Satan doesn't accuse sinners, he leads them down the path of self-justification, of rationalizing their sin, and blame-shifting.  

Mike: There's something missing in the story of James, and I don't think people, like me when I first read it, aren't going to pick up on until the second scenario.  

Steve: That second scenario brings it out. There's William in the same setting, standing in the criminal docket of the high court. He's charged with treason against God's Kingdom, just as James was. But here, it's not the devil who is William's accuser but the Holy Spirit, Scripture, his own conscience, and a long line of witnesses who testify about the many things that they had seen in William's life. But William's reaction is the difference. William steps forward and says to the judge, "Your honor, not the half of my crimes against you have been told. I am guilty as charged and I deserve the full penalty of the law. All I can do is promise you that I will change my life and ask for mercy.” You see, his attitude is one of repentance. James' attitude was one of wanting to get something from God without it costing him anything.  

Mike: As you share that, I look back on my own early experience having heard the Gospel. Like what you share in the book, I had kind of a general sense that all of us are sinners, and that I didn't want to go to Hell. And I wanted from God a get-out-of-Hell free card, for lack of a better term. So, I started what I thought was a Christian life with no other gratitude than for this free get-out-of-Hell card. And it took years before I really got a sight of how guilty I was before God.  

Steve: But you did get that site, and I saw you do it. But you know, Charles Spurgeon really brought this out well. He said, "The attitude a lot of people have is like the thief who stands before the judge. He's not looking to quit his thieving ways. He's not looking to have a change of heart. He's looking for mercy just so he doesn't have to pay the consequences and go to prison. And so, he's begging for mercy not because he has any intention of becoming a different man, a good citizen, or anything like that. He just doesn't want to pay the consequences." And that's the attitude of many people who come into Christianity. That's the exact same attitude they have. They're not looking to change, not looking to let God rule and reign over their hearts. They just want to escape Hell for free, like you said.  

‍Mike: Now, relate this back to what we're talking about here. What does it mean to deny self?  

Steve: Mike, it really boils down to your perspective of yourself. The truth is that 99.9% of human beings think of themselves as good people. There was a study done in a prison for the criminally insane. They did a survey and one of the questions they asked was, "Do you consider yourself a good person? And of those several hundred inmates, 100%, every single one of them, responded yes. Everyone thinks they are a good person who deserves Heaven. And that fundamental attitude towards yourself has to be overthrown. You have to see yourself as a guilty sinner, a criminal in the sight of a holy God. Because, until you see that and get that, you won't really experience true repentance and Jesus Christ cannot take his place on the throne of your heart because you're still on the throne of your heart. You're in control of your life.  

Mike: And I want to make this point: that can be true, even though you claim to believe in Jesus.  

Steve: James said the Devils believe and tremble. This is the tricky thing, the subtle thing about faith. When you believe in someone, you believe in them. Saying, “I believe in you Lord,” means so much more than superficial head-knowledge. Maybe you've kind of acknowledged that there was a Jesus Christ who lived. You believe what the Bible says is true and all that. But if you really believe that the Bible is true, it will show in your life, because a person who transfers their trust from themselves to Christ will have a revolution in their life. And then, before long, the evidence of that changed life comes forth very loud and clear.  

Mike: But as you said, that demands repentance, and in order to have repentance, you have to be willing to acknowledge what Jesus has said is true about you. Why is it so hard for unconverted churchgoers to face the truth of themselves?  

Steve: Because they don't want to acknowledge that there's something wrong with them. You know, it is just inherent in human beings. All of us are this way. We hate to say we're wrong. We feel like our character is being impugned by saying that we're not good people. Everyone wants to think of themselves as a good person, deserving Heaven. But the reality is that if a person thinks that they're good, and that they deserve Heaven, then they don't need a Savior and therefore they won't have one.

Most church leaders today would condemn pornography use as wrong, but are they also warning their churches about entertainment? And they would show great concern if a church member spent their time and money pursuing drugs and sex, but what if they were just obsessed with being happy?

In this episode we look at the spiritual danger of spending your life pursuing pleasure. Our 30 plus years of ministry, have revealed that the pursuit of pleasure, comfort and happiness leads many men into sexual sin. But we’ve also seen that when the lust for pleasure is overcome, sexual sin’s hold will be broken.

You may have read Psalm 54:7 before: “For he has delivered me from every trouble, and my eye has looked in triumph on my enemies.” You might look at your life and wonder why this hasn’t happened. Our culture today has been nurtured on the instantaneous. Seemingly everything is “on demand” and many Christians carry this mindset over into their spiritual battles. But even God declared that victory wasn’t going to be instant and would, in fact, be detrimental if He did it that way!

Before Joshua led God’s people over the Jordan and into enemy territory, the Lord gave the people His battle strategy. In Exodus 23:29-30, we read, “I will not drive them out before you in a single year, that the land may not become desolate and the beasts of the field become too numerous for you. I will drive them out before you little by little, until you become fruitful and take possession of the land.”

The conquest of Canaan was designed by God to be fought over a long period of time and against many enemies. The physical enemies in Joshua’s day have been replaced by a many-headed beast known as “the flesh.” The physical battle ground of Canaan has been transferred to the realm of our heart. And we wield spiritual weapons, not physical. And this war is not over in a single day, as it states in Joshua 11:18, “Joshua waged war a long time with all these kings.”

A key tactic to victory is not how fast we sprint into the fray, but how we walk. In this episode, Biblical Counselor Luke Imperato tells us how to biblically wage war through what Paul calls, “walking in the Spirit.” He describes what that looks like, our attitude as we go forward, and also gives us realistic goals in when victory will be achieved.

The Apostle Paul said that the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, but the mind set on the flesh is death. Sexual sin is not a disease; it is the fruit of a mind set on the flesh.

But there is hope, because Paul gave us a solution: "If, by The Spirit, you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." But how do we actually do this? In this episode we'll look at what it really means to set our minds on the Spirit so that our heart and lives will change.

Steve Gallagher’s book, "Standing Firm Through the Great Apostasy", paints a startling picture of the state of the American Church. In this interview, he discusses the message of the Cross and the different ways people respond to it.  

Mike: I want to just start off by asking you Steve, what your purpose was in writing this book?  

Steve: The reason this book came about was because, a few years ago, I was invited to be a keynote speaker at a biblical counseling conference. I was told that the theme of the conference was going to be, 'The Narrow Way.' And as I began studying that theme, what began to emerge was a very disturbing and frightening picture. More so than I had anticipated going into this. As I started studying, first of all what the Word of God clearly says, and secondly, what the writers of yesteryear wrote about these subjects, I realized that the reality is that many, many, many people who name the name of Christ really have never been converted. I started to see that unless something changes in their lives, they're headed into eternal damnation and that's what was so upsetting to me.  

Mike: Well Steve I know that part of the motivation of your writing this book was that there would be a wakeup call for Christians, that they would evaluate what they have, whether it's a genuine faith, a real saving faith. In the book, you're really looking at the core of Christianity: The Message of the Cross of Christ. Give us a picture, if you will, of what happened at the Cross.  

Steve: Mike, I think one of the reasons people are not more effected in their Christianity is that the Cross isn't very real to them. The reality is, we can hardly describe it in terms that befit it. It was a horrible thing, the physical abuse that He took was just terrible. It was barbaric. But there was something much deeper than that. The thing that struck horror in His heart in the garden was that, the Innocent One, the One who was pure was going to, somehow, take 6000 years of sin and crime and every despicable thing imaginable that has ever happened packaged into one bitter cup that He was forced to drink. What He recoiled at in the garden was the reality of taking that filth into His being. Actually, Paul said in 2nd Corinthians 5 that it wasn't just that He took the sin upon himself. He became sin. Now this is conjecture, but some people think that Him becoming sin was something that people could actually see. At the very least, His Heavenly Father could see, and He turned away from in disgust. But yet, this is the reality of what Scripture teaches. He took sin into His being. He had to, because He was the Sacrificial Lamb. So, what was the reality of Him taking that sin upon Himself? I don't know exactly, but it must have broken the Father's heart. "My Father, My Father, why are you forsaking me?" You know, at His time of greatest need, His father turned away from Him.  

Mike: Peter solemnly instructed us to conduct ourselves in fear. You mention that this, perhaps, was one of the reasons: Jesus having done this for us. To treat this flippantly, should be a very fearful thing.  

Steve: That was the whole point of beginning the book with the reality of what really happened at Calvary: to kind of shake us out of this flippant, nonchalant attitude about Calvary and what happened there. You know, our attitude, not everyone, but with many, is, we have developed this entitlement attitude with God as if He owes it to us. That if we said the sinner’s prayer, go to church on Sundays, that He owes Heaven to us. That attitude is in many hearts today. It's quiet and it's subtle. We don't ever really think that through, of course, but it's very subtle. And when you start to come into the reality of what God had to do to His Son, how He had to exact His wrath upon His Son, it makes you sit up and take notice and have a much greater reverential fear of what the implications of that Cross mean.  

Mike: In talking about The Message of the Cross, you started by looking at a difference between what was real in the life of Judas, and what was real in the lives of the other eleven disciples. Talk about that a bit.  

Steve: Well, we know that some months before Calvary, Jesus began to warn His disciples of what was to come. In Luke 9 He said, "The Son of Man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders, and chief priests, and scribes, and be killed." He was telling the disciples what was coming. Apparently, He would remind them on different occasions because, you know, we're all kind of dumb and we forget things. And who wants to think about something like that anyway. It would have been indiscernible to you or me, but Jesus could see inside people's hearts. He could see that there was a different reaction going on in Judas's heart towards this message than there was in the other eleven.  

Mike: Even though outwardly, they looked like they were all with Him.  

Steve: Yeah, well, let's face it. On the night that Judas betrayed them, they were all asking, "Is it me?" They couldn't even figure out that it was Judas. There was nothing about Judas' life that stood out to tell them that he was a traitor. There was nothing to show he was rejecting the Message of the Cross and Christianity as it was being offered to him. He was rejecting Him, but there was nothing in His life to identify that. You and I wouldn't have seen it either. The wheat and the tare plants look identical when they're seedlings.  

Mike: You know, we hear that, but if we're in the church and we hear that, we just automatically assume we aren't the tare, even though we can't discern the difference outwardly. Because we're looking at our lives outwardly, we just automatically assume it isn't us.  

Steve: That is the purpose for this book. I had to make it so clear that any sincere person, even if they are a tare and they're sincere, but have never really looked at themselves, that they could not escape the truth.  

Mike: You mentioned in comparing Judas with the other eleven what it was that was different about him.  

Steve: Let's look at the eleven first. Now, they were immature, they were spiritual babies. You know, they were all a big mess. Thomas was depressed about everything. Peter was a loudmouth. They all had their issues and their baggage, just like we do. They were just men, but there was something in their hearts that responded in a positive way to the message of sacrifice and self-denial intertwined in the Christian message. But when Judas would hear those things, there was a different reaction inside. There was a resistance, there was a pulling away, there was a rejecting going on inside. But again, outwardly he was doing everything right. He would fit right in with today's church. That's the thing people don't understand is, they've got him made out to be some kind of a monster. But the truth is Judas would sit in the pew with us and we wouldn't think a thing of it. He's really no different than many so-called Christians that are in our churches today.  

Mike: You wrote, "The life of Judas represents those of all ages who desire the Heaven of Christ, without the Cross of Christ." You've already hinted at as to what that means. What does that mean?  

Steve: The bottom line between real Christianity and pseudo-Christianity is this: Who is on the throne of your heart? We can talk the talk, but there's a reality inside that Jesus is looking for that is the determining factor about where we're going to spend eternity.

Being needy is not a popular idea today. Our culture values self-confidence, self-reliance and self-satisfaction. Unfortunately, these values often put on a religious mask and sneak into the church in the form of religious pride.

This pride deceives many people into believing the best about themselves, even those who are enslaved to sexual sin. Today we’re going to look at how important it is to grasp our true condition before God. We’ll also explore why our attempts to be good in our own strength often prevent us from experiencing the abundant life promised to us in Jesus.

Biblical counselor Jim Lewis explains why victory over sexual addiction is contingent upon a person’s willingness to take responsibility for their sin. He outlines the different types of responses, right and wrong, and what’s really at the root in a man’s heart.  

Brooks: Ok Jim, well the idea of taking responsibility intrinsically sounds like the right thing to do, but it may not be the first thing that comes to everyone's mind when they're dealing with a serious subject like sexual addiction. So, what is the biblical basis for telling someone that's struggling with sexual sin that they need to take responsibility for their sin?  

Jim: Well Brooks, in Ezekiel 18 the Lord said, “What do you mean when you use this proverb concerning the land of Israel, saying: ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? “As I live,” says the Lord God, “you shall no longer use this proverb in Israel. “Behold, all souls are Mine; The soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is Mine; The soul who sins shall die." Now, that sounds a bit extreme to some, "the soul that sins shall die," but here's the point. The proverb was popular because it was an excuse for sin. People would say, "it's not my fault. I learned this sin from my father." But here, the Lord is saying that you can't blame your sin on anyone or anything else. If you sin, it's by your own choice. We are all responsible for our own actions and can’t blame anybody else. And in James Chapter 1, it says, "Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am tempted by God'; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone." In other words, it's not God's fault either. "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed." We deal with a man's sexual sin, so this this verse is very useful. It is our own desire that causes us to give in to temptation and sin. We sin because we want to. It's that simple, and so it's no one's fault but our own.

Brooks: You know, this whole concept might strike some people as being kind of harsh. If that's a person's reaction to this, what might you say to communicate where you're really coming from with this?  

Jim: Confronting someone with their sin may seem hard and harsh, but God does it out of a heart of love and we as biblical counselors join God in confronting a man in his sin, in order to bring about godly sorrow that leads to repentance, and to real heart change, and to forgiveness, to cleansing and to reconciliation with God. It can even lead to restoration with the people that you've harmed. So, the whole point of confronting a man in sin is to do him good, and that's the most loving thing that you can do.  

Brooks: Well I know you do counsel men coming out of sexual sin. What things have you found that men tend to do instead of taking full responsibility for their sin?  

Jim: There are several common excuses that a man will choose if he refuses to take responsibility. He will usually respond in one of five ways and every one of them is demonstrated or spoken of in Scripture. The first is blame shifting. The most famous blame-shifter is Adam, who told God that the woman God had given to him gave him fruit from the tree. In other words, it was her fault and not his. A second response is to put something off until later. Paul was preaching to the Roman governor Felix, specifically about self-control, righteousness and the judgment to come. And at that point, Felix stopped him. He didn't want to hear about judgment. He told Paul to go away and come back at some other time. He was delaying taking responsibility for his own sin. Number three would be self-justification and that was what King Saul did when he was confronted by the prophet Samuel for disobeying the direct command of God. Saul had offered a sacrifice which should have been done only by the prophet, but he told Samuel, "you were delayed, and the people were leaving, so I forced myself and offered the burnt offering." In other words, "it's not my fault you were delayed. I had no other choice." There are hundreds of different ways that men justify their actions like this. Number four would be minimizing sin, trying to make the sin look smaller than it is. Again, King Saul is our example when he was confronted by Samuel for disobeying God. He spared the flocks of the Amalekites. He was told to slaughter them. And when he was confronted, he claimed that sparing them was still doing everything he was told to do. But he was clearly not being obedient. And number five is counteracting in anger. The Proverbs often speak about the reaction of the scoffer, the man who takes the things of God and treats them with contempt. Proverbs 9 says, "He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself, and he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself. Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you." If a man's reaction is anger, that means he's trying to take control. He is counterattacking in anger as an excuse to avoid dealing with his own sin.  

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Brooks: Jim, where does all this ultimately come from? What's the real root issue here? Because, it seems like with these different characteristics you've described, there's got to be something at the bottom of this. And I would think if we take care of that, then people are ready to start taking responsibility.  

Jim: There's actually a simple answer to your question. All these responses are in of themselves sinful, and the root cause of all sin is pride. Self-protective pride, mostly. Pride makes us want to blame someone else. Pride makes us postpone dealing with our issues. Pride causes us to say it wasn't my fault. Pride is what makes us minimize sin. Pride is the sin behind anger and the need for control. Every bit of it is pride. And the answer is to confront men with the truth of the Word of God and trust the Holy Spirit to bring about conviction.  

Fortunately at Pure Life, we have any number of resources that describe well the sin of pride and how it leads to every other sin and how we need to take responsibility. All of our resources are based on scripture. So between our books and simply sharing the world of God, usually men begin to own their own sin.  

Brooks: Maybe we could end with a note of hope here. What can someone expect when they go through this? Oftentimes it's a painful process of taking responsibility for sin. What's down the road for them?

Jim: Well Brooks, you're right in saying that the process is painful. So, the first thing that I would say is that you can expect pain. It hurts to move past your self-deception and admit that you alone are responsible for the mess you're in. And this is often accompanied with great sorrow and loss. But then, something wonderful begins to happen. You begin to see what your sin does to the heart of God, which is doubly painful, but is also the beginning of repentance, of calling sin, ‘sin,’ and changing your mind about it. Then you'll begin to turn from it. And along with repentance, there's confession of that sin to God. When, in godly sorrow, a man confesses and truly forsakes his sin, there's forgiveness and the power of that sin is broken, and a man is finally reconciled to God. The first step towards forgiveness is taking responsibility. So, there's great hope for any man who will just step up and own what he's done.