How many times have you promised yourself, “I will never do that again!” but soon found that you were doing it all over again? If that cycle continues long enough, you may start believing that you cannot possibly stand against these powerful temptations.

That’s what Steve Gallagher used to think, until he learned how to win the battle against temptation.

In this episode we continue to share with you the truths found in our YouTube Series, “20 Truths that Helped Me in My Battle with Porn Addiction.” Today’s topic? “Temptation is a Winnable Battle.”

None of us would ever dream of only eating once a week, once a month, once every 6 months. If this is true, why do so many Christians only eat from God’s word every so often?

In this segment from our archives, Mike Johnston and Jeff Colon discuss why a vibrant walk with God requires daily time in the Word as well as how to establish that time in the morning when everything in us just wants to go back to bed.

Mike: Jeff, we want to continue on in our series talking about redeeming the time. In today's program we want to talk about redeeming our time in the sense of spending time in God's word. Why do you think that is so important especially in the day and age that we live in?  

Jeff: Well Mike, I think we don't realize the atmosphere of this world and how intoxicating it can be to our spiritual eyes. And, we don't realize how much this society we're living in today can deaden our spiritual lives and our need for spiritual sustenance in our lives.  

Mike: Talk a little about that, the need for spiritual sustenance. I know that so many people in the church, and certainly it was an aspect of my life before coming to Pure Life Ministries, that I just go to church on Sunday or maybe on Wednesday, and then the rest of the time I just live my life. Why is it so critical? Why do we need spiritual sustenance?  

Jeff: Well Mike, I believe like it says in that scripture in Ephesians 5, that we need to have a walk that is circumspect. In other words, we need to be aware, we need to be alert. Jesus many times exhorts us to be sober and that verse basically tells us one way to do that is to redeem our time because the days are evil. It's just imperative Mike that we need to realize that our time is valuable. We can't just squander it away because once it's gone we can't gain it. And, I believe one key feature in redeeming our time is really getting into the Word of God.  

Mike: You mentioned that the days are evil. Certainly it is true that everywhere we look—of course, we're dealing with men coming out of sexual sin here in our Residential Program—we are just bombarded with the messages of the enemy who is out to destroy our souls, and, even if we are a believer, to destroy the testimony we have for God and the intimacy that God wants to have with us.  

Jeff: That really is so true Mike. And, as Christians we're called to have the mind of Christ or, if I can say this way, think Biblically. We don't realize how much the message of this world in so many different ways that it comes to us through media, t.v., magazines, and just being out in this world, really does affect our thinking and our perspectives on life and how much we need the Word of God. We've counseled so many people who have come to our programs, and what you come to see is that many Christians, many people who would call themselves believers really don't look at life through the lens of Scripture. A lot of times they're seeing it how the world perceives things and that's why their lives are not where they need to be in the Lord. We need God's perspectives, we need the word as a lamp, a light unto our path as we go through our lives in this world.

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Mike: You know, even the men who go through our Residential Program, those who struggle after they leave the program almost inevitably—if you ask him what changed after they left the program—will tell you, “Well I got busy and I stopped spending time in the Word of God. I stopped my prayer time.” That’s where you really see, even in a man where something tremendous happened in his heart while he was here, that without that we’re just left to the whims of whatever is blowing around us.  

Jeff: It's so true Mike, and I many times use David as an example. Here's a man that walked with God but we know what happened. But, at one time in David's life before he fell with Bathsheba, he understood the need for God. In Psalm 63 verse 1 he says, “God you're my God. Early will I seek you. My soul thirsts for you, my flesh longs for you in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.” And that verse to me really depicts a Christian's journey through life. When we're here on earth we're kind of like sojourners passing through, but it's a barren wasteland. There's nothing in this world that's going to feed our soul spiritually. We really need to learn that only God can give us what we need and there's nothing in this world that's going to create a vibrant walk with God. So, we need to understand our need to be seeking God early and getting in his word and finding our nourishment from him.  

Mike: All right, now you just laid out one of the first stumbling blocks for guys. Seek the Lord early. You know, the truth is Jeff, that—and we all have these days—I have days when I get up and I just want to roll over and go back to bed, go back to sleep. We have a dear saint that comes to Pure Life Ministries and I like the way he says, “there are days when you just have to pick yourself up by the scruff of you neck and drag yourself into the Word of God.” Talk a little bit to those who maybe don't sense this hunger that you're talking about for the Word of God. What do you do when you don't have that hunger?  

Jeff: Well first of all, I would encourage them to let God make them hungry. Yes, that's what I said, allow God to make you hungry. In other words, it means I have a decision to make. God will establish a hunger in our lives, but what I have found for myself is that if I'm not reading the word, I'm not going to be hungry for it. But, when I get in the word, just like when I went in the program myself and was required to read the Bible, what I found that after doing that for a while was it started creating a hunger in my life. And, I would encourage anyone out there that if you don't have that hunger get in the Bible, get over Psalm 119. I've used that Psalm many times when I have felt that hunger waning in my life and there are wonderful prayers in there that we can pray to the Lord, even though maybe they're not a reality in our own lives, we could pray through that Psalm. It takes about 20 minutes to pray through that Psalm and you could do that every day and I guarantee you, if you do that God will begin to create a hunger in your heart for His word.  

<pull-quote>God will establish a hunger in our lives, but what I have found is that if I'm not reading the word, I'm not going to be hungry for it.<pull-quote><tweet-link>Tweet This<tweet-link>

Mike: Yeah that is so true. That is my testimony I know. Sometimes when we think about the Lord meeting our needs we think of, well, I have a need for a job, or, I have a need for healing or whatever it may be. But, what I have learned in recent years is that even the things that God is calling us to do, if we don't have it in us—and back in our flesh we don't have it in us—if we will ask him to give us that desire he is faithful to do that.  

Jeff: Absolutely. He says if we ask anything according to His Will it's done, and I believe it's God's will that we read His Word and actually Paul admonishes us to allow the word of Christ to dwell richly in us in all wisdom. So, if God is telling us to do that, we're asking him to give us a hunger for that, well, he's going to do it.  

Mike: Yes, that's his heart and he wants to meet our needs. Let's just finish up on this: you just mentioned that verse, Colossians 3:16, “to allow the word of Christ to dwell in us richly.” What I hear from that Scripture is that, yes we need to be in the Word of God, we need to be reading the Word of God and allowing the Word of God to get into us, but the other half of that is we need to be living out and walking out what God is showing us in His word.  

Jeff: Absolutely when that says “in all wisdom” to me again wisdom depicts a perspective in life. In other words, it means I govern and I live my life according to the perspectives of God's word.  

Mike: Amen. Well Jeff we appreciate your time and thanks so much for talking to us again about redeeming the time.  

Jeff: Thanks Mike.  

For the man struggling to be free from sexual sin, the world around us is a difficult place to be. Billboards, television, magazines and the internet barrage us with images that draw the eye and entice the heart. If a man is used to caving into these temptations, how can he find the strength to resist the allure and keep a pure heart and mind?

As we talked about in our last episode, Scripture plays a huge part in this, but there is another vital part to living in freedom. This week, we will look at how time spent in prayer transforms us into the image of Christ and gives us the strength we need—his strength—to resist temptation. To win the Battle of Temptation, You Must Have a Prayer Life.

When a man determines to be free from pornography, one of the things he is immediately confronted with is how much his mind has been polluted by porn’s filthiness.

Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is living and active and full of power...” We here at Pure Life Ministries place a huge emphasis on having a daily, vibrant relationship with the Bible because we have experienced its effect in our own lives and have watched it work wonders in the lives of the men we counsel.

Today we are looking at how Scripture will restructure a pornographic mindset.

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Jim: There are so many influences in the worldly culture of American life that beckon a man toward destruction. They are so much a part of our lives that we often don't see them as dangerous at all, and so we allow these influences full access to our ears, our eyes and our hearts. Michael Wheaton has dealt with these in his own life and now uses his experience and training to warn men in our Overcomers-at-Home Program to rid their lives of the siren's call to destruction.  

I'm joined in the studio today by Michael Wheaton. Michael has served Pure Life Ministries for several years he has been a residential counselor, and currently serves as a counselor for our Overcomers-at-Home Program. Michael, first of all welcome.  

Michael: Thank you, Jim.  

Jim: Thanks for being here with us today. For our listeners who may not know our Residential Program, of course, is our campus here in Kentucky where men come to spend 9 months overcoming their habits of sexual sin. But we have men scattered across the country and in countries around the world who are doing the program at home. And so they still live out in the world, and we have to deal with them when they are surrounded by a godless world culture and have things right in their own homes that they need to be warned about and need to take care of. Michael, you deal with students, and have, who are going through the program at home, and what we want to talk about today is what kind of fences we have to put in place in order to help them protect themselves from their own sinful nature and from the influences of the world. This segment is in the overall context of the 20 truth of that Pastor Steve Gallagher is teaching us and his truth is "don't o near the prostitutes house." Quoting from the scripture in proverbs he is telling us "don't go anywhere near trouble. Stay away from temptation. Put in place whatever you need to stay out of an area of danger for you. So we like to speak to it in terms of "what fences do we need to put in place to keep us from going somewhere that we don't need to go?" Michael let me ask you first of all, just to get us started, "what are the biblical principles that you go by when you recommend that men put these fences in place?  

Michael: Well first of all I'm grateful to be talking about this subject. I believe it's very important especially in the day we're living in. Going out into the world, we're constantly bombarded with the world's message whether it's billboards advertisements on the Internet commercials, you name it, the world's message is right in our face and having fences in our lives is very important to guard us from those temptations from those lures. That being said, as Christians we need to have fences established in our lives. While most of the things we're going to be discussing today like the Internet, YouTube, t.v., social media or even going to the mall, aren't inherently sinful, but the Lord tells us in Proverbs 4:23 "Keep your heart with all diligence for out of that spring the issues of life." Having fences in place helps us to follow this command. I'm also reminded through the prophet Jeremiah where he said, "the heart is the seat full above all things and desperately wicked who can know it" and another translation says it this way "who can understand the human heart there is nothing else so deceitful, it is too sick to be healed." We can't trust ourselves.

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Jim: The problem isn't necessarily a mall, the problem isn't necessarily a television set or a television show, the problem is the human heart. So these are not legalistic rules, these are practical things that we need to have in place to be obedient—to guard our heart and God is telling us this for our own sake.  

Michael: I'm glad you just said that because I remember thinking to myself "if I have all these boundaries or fences in place how am I being led by the Spirit? This seems like legalism." While it's true that boundaries or fences won't deal with the root issue, which you just mentioned is our heart, it's foolish to think we can just skate through life and not take seriously scriptures like Romans 13:14 which clearly tells us to make no provision for the flesh.  

Jim: And so this isn't just the proverbs of the Old Testament this is the Apostle Paul in the New Testament telling Christians don't make plans in advance for sin.  

Michael: Also in Matthew 6:13 Jesus teaches us to pray, "and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." To not have fences in our lives and to be praying in this way seems like tempting the Lord.  

Jim: And Michael one of the other Scriptures that we use a lot here at Pure Life—it is a law of the spirit and it's also a law of nature—whatever a man sows, that will he also reap. As a matter of fact Paul said, "don't be deceived God will not be mocked, whatever a man sows, that will be also reap." He goes on to say that if we sow to the Spirit, we reap from the Spirit—praise God—if we sow to the flesh we reap from the flesh," or "we reap destruction." Having fences in place that protect us from ourselves it becomes so much easier to sow to the Spirit.  

Michael: Yeah absolutely and I'm glad you mentioned that because the reason we need fences in place or part of the reason we need them in place, is because of ourselves. Our heart as we as we talked about earlier is to deceitfully wicked, and these fences help us especially in times of weakness, or in times of temptation, when we feel that propensity to wander or that pull to the things of this world, those fences are safeguards for us and can even act as roadblocks or warning signs when we're in those times of temptation. To not have those in place is to just open the door to yielding our flesh and giving right into the temptation.  

Jim: Alright, let's get right down to business here Pure Life we have a website; we use the Internet. Many people are listening to this podcast because it's posted on the internet, but those of us who have been in sexual sin—and every counselor here is a graduate of the program—the vast majority of us, the tool of the devil that hooked us was the Internet. And it's everywhere, and it seems like most people in today's culture feel like they can't live without it. In the residential program it's just in place, students don't have access to the internet, but for those men and women who are out there in the world, they have a computer in their home they have a smartphone that gives them access to the Internet. As a counselor for students at home, what is your best godly counsel about use of the Internet?  

Michael: To start, if someone's struggling with viewing pornography on the internet, then my first response is to get rid of it. Now some people may think that sounds harsh but in Matthew 5:29 through 30, Jesus said "if your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you, for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin cut it off and cast it from you for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell." At the end of Matthew 7 in the same sermon Jesus also said "everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock and the rain fell and the floods came and the winds blew and beat on that house but it did not fall because it had been founded on the rock and everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand and the rain fell and the floods came and the winds blew and beat against that house and it fell and great was the fall of it."  

For someone who isn't using the Internet for sin, it's still wise to have some sort of internet filter or accountability software. We recommend to our guys Covenant Eyes; I know there's others out there that I'm not as familiar with. And it's equally important to limit the amount of time spent on it, even if it's just online shopping. Scripture has a lot to say about how we should spend our time what we should listen to, look at and think about. And hopefully we'll touch on some of those things later.  

Jim: Michael, you mentioned that great scripture from Matthew 5 were Jesus talks about plucking out the right eye that causes you to sin or cutting off the right hand that causes you to sin. Jesus does not expect us to walk around maimed and blind, but the point is we need to be radical in cutting out and cutting off the sin that's in our lives. And in regard to the Internet, it may mean, as you said, getting rid of it entirely. All right here is that other great monster that's in everybody's house. Matter of fact, most of us have a room where all of the furniture is pointed toward the television, and today it's not just network television, it's cable with a 1000 channels and it's all these other kinds of services that bring all kinds of programming into our houses. What do you tell somebody about how they should live in relation to their t.v.?  

Michael: I'd like to just start with the fact that today we've become extremely desensitized. People can watch t.v. shows which promote things that God says are an abomination to Him without the slightest conviction and I know this is true because before I came to Pure Life, I professed to be a Christian and yet some of the shows and movies I watched made things like lying, lust or violence seem innocent or comical and this is not just the world's problem... this is Christians, people in the church, some of the movies they're exposing themselves to or some of the shows they're exposing themselves to and it's a very slippery slope. And as far as these things go whether it's Netflix, Hulu, Apple t.v., whatever else is out there now... honestly, addressing each of these things is overwhelming one can hardly go on to the Internet or turn on a t.v. without being exposed to something that's practically pornographic. So, my counsel to men or really anyone who's trying to walk with the Lord is to have nothing to do with these things, just get rid of them.  

Jim: Now, Michael, you actually counsel men to get rid of their television? To get rid of all their subscription services? To do without a t.v. in the house? I grew up on television in front of a television set, I didn't think I would ever live without it and even before I came Pure Life, I was watching television four or 5 hours every night, it's what we did. I Haven't watched network television in 5 years now. The amazing thing is when you make the choice to get rid of this thing that pipes into your home so much that is dishonoring to God and blasphemous to the Lord Jesus, your life gets so much better so quickly—it's not a sacrifice. What's been your experience, as I know you don't watch t.v. either.  

Michael: You know I'm glad you mentioned. One of the biggest blessings since not having t.v. has been the ability to one: just slow down. I just found when I used to constantly sit in front of the t.v. and watch whatever the latest most popular shows were, there was just this constant need to be doing something or having something stimulating or entertaining. I didn't know how to just be still or slow down and that was huge for me, especially coming out of sexual sin. Most of us who have given ourselves over to that have just been living such a fast pace life style with no ability to slow down, just one thing after another and then if there's nothing going on, "well I need to be sitting in front of a t.v. and having something stimulating or something entertaining me." Getting rid of that has been huge. Also, on the other side of that, I know that not everything that is out there is bad, but just seeing more and more the direction these things are headed. You know you turn on the main screen of something like Netflix, or something like that, and all you see are these images that—whether they're pornographic or not—are demonic, violent and those things have a huge impression on your mind. Those images get lodged into your mind and it's hard to break free from those and so you at some point just get to the place where you have to ask the question, "is it worth it?" Is it worth it because that, as we said in our theme verse for this segment, that's going near the door of the prostitute's house.  

Jim: Well let's jump to another one let's talk about social media. At Pure Life, we use social media in order to disseminate our message but the men in the Residential Program, and even the staff are not on social media. A great many men use social media as the avenue for their sin. A great many men started their emotional and then their sexual affair by someone that they met online. What is your counsel to our men in regard to social media?  

Michael: It's amazing to see how much of an impact social media has had on our society over the past decade, and that impact has been devastating in some cases which you just alluded to. The reality we have to face is that our world is growing increasingly dark as we're approaching the return of Jesus Christ. Things that were considered shameful just 50 to 60 years ago are now celebrated, and social media's played an integral part in promoting evil, and has been used by many as a platform for gossiping, backbiting, slander, boasting sexual immorality... the list goes on and on. Of course, there are many who have used social media for good, but the point I'm trying to drive home is that we have to be very careful about what we expose ourselves to and I want to take a little different approach talking about social media. The verse that I'm reminded of is Psalm 1:1-3. "blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law,  he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither, in all that he does he prospers."  Whether we like to admit it or not, the things we expose ourselves to influence us more than we realize. Whatever we give that position of influence to in our lives, we're letting counsel us.  

Jim: All right let's go in another direction—it's all related. Movies. Most of us grew up watching movies. We love movies. Is there any particular counsel you give just in regard to movies? And let's just say not only at the movie theater, but movies that you might watch if you keep your television.  

Michael: Yeah well, the nice thing about movies is you can control what you watch. It's very important, especially when it comes to movies, to know what you're watching. And while there are sites out there like kidsinmind.com, and others that you can go to see what kind of content is in a movie, and whether or not you want to be watching it, you have to be extremely careful even going on those sites because some of the content that you're reading is pornographic. Even that is a potential stumbling block for people. However, one of the things I personally like to do when it comes to this area—I still do watch movies—I have searched for movies that are Christian... there are websites out there, Christian movie websites, that just list faith-based movies and family-friendly movies on them, so you kind of avoid having to see all of the secular things that are out there, and running the risk of having to see something that you don't want to see. Now not all faith-based movies are very strong in their biblical message, but I find it very helpful to use some of those sites when finding potential movies that I might want to watch, or looking for biographies of godly men and women who have walked with the Lord and have a testimony of walking with the Lord and experiencing His faithfulness. So those are the sorts of things that I personally try to do when it comes to watching movies and would recommend to others as well.  

Jim: Michael, I have personally seen teenagers play video games that were obviously based on sex and violence. I personally know of men in their thirties and forties who are absolutely addicted to video games that are based on warfare, and these games are full of things that dishonor God and people really do get addicted. They spend hours a day in this fantasy world playing games. What is your best counsel for a man in regard to video games?  

Michael: Well I want to go back to a verse we shared at the beginning from the prophet Jeremiah. "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it? And part of the problem is, as we mentioned earlier, the root really is our hearts. We have an addictive nature, we become addicted to things, for some of us it's video games, for some of us it's movie, some of us it's social media and in this case it's not so much that a video game in and of itself is addictive, but it feeds on our addictive nature or fallen natures. That's why we see so many people becoming addicted to video games in this sort of fantasy world that they can live in, and what I want to kind of saying the other side of that is it's hard to find very many good reasons for playing them if any. And so for a guy who's in sexual sin, or video games are a struggle for them and they're getting into sin that way, again, get rid of them. That's what Jesus' counsel was to us. If this thing is a potential cause of sin for me in my life, then I just need to get rid of it and ask myself what's more important: "is it more important for me to have an intimate relationship with the Lord or continually open the door to giving over to my flesh and causing separation in my relationship with the Lord." To me that's the most important thing as we're addressing any of these things: my relationship with the Lord, and that is what this is about.  

Jim: A simple guideline for me has been, "Could I sit here on social media and engage it in such a way that I'm doing if Jesus was sitting right next to me watching. Would I watch this movie if he was sitting on the couch next to me? Would I play this video game for hours if Jesus was with me watching everything that I did?" The second question, of course, is what makes you think he isn't?  

Michael: I'll just add to that. You know I've heard people say that before, and if we don't have a true understanding of who Jesus is, of his Holiness, of his desire, of his will for our lives, as believers we are to be called out and separated from the world and he calls us to a life of holiness, and that means separation from the world and things of the world. Even things that aren't necessarily bad in and of themselves, I'm reminded of the Apostle Paul when he said, "all things are lawful for me but not all things are profitable." Video games, social media, most of this stuff, if we're honest, is not profitable for us. It's not helping us grow spiritually, it's not helping us grown in our knowledge of who Jesus is, which was Paul's one and aim—and he said that over and over again—just to know Jesus Christ. If I'm a believer and my aim in life is to know Jesus Christ; are these things helping me to do that? And that helps me to know if this is really pleasing to the Lord, versus some imagination I have of who Jesus is and that he would approve of some of these things or be rejoicing in these things.  

Jim: OK, here's a hot button for many people, Michael, talk to me about music, contemporary music, the music that you might normally hear on the radio unless your tuned to the Christian radio station. What do you do about secular music?  

Michael: Yeah, well, music is powerful, and it has a tremendous ability to influence us. I remember back in high school I used to listen to rap music all the time, and it just fed that spirit of anger and lust inside of me and the more I listened to it the more I would give myself over that spirit. And even all these years later, having not listened to rap music in over a decade, if I happen to be out whether it's in a store, or hear rap music playing in a car that drives by, I can feel that pull of that spirit. And that old mindset is right there. I can feel it pulling me into that thinking and all of the sudden, these emotions of anger or lust are wanting to rise up just hearing a lyric or two, or a beat, all these years later.  

Jim: All right last one and this one might seem odd to some, but its influence is far more powerful than most people give it credit for, and that is the shopping mall, or any kind of environment that promotes consumerism. Talk to me about that.  

Michael: For me, personally, when I have walked into a mall, there's an atmosphere, and they even know that, so when choosing music that they play in their stores, or the fragrance that's there, it all appeals to our senses, and our carnal nature. It's trying to get us to buy into the lie that things that are temporal, whether it's clothing, the latest gadget, whatever, that is what it's wanting us to value, wanting us to see as important. Just going into a mall, everything is temporal, whether it's the music you're hearing, or the fragrances, you’re smelling, even what people wear in the mall, it's just a worldly environment. I mean there's no other way to say it's just it is a worldly environment.  

Jim: As we closed today, Michael, I'd like you to take us back to the scripture. One of the scriptures that we're constantly sharing with men here at Pure Life, because they've come here to get free from temptation to sexual sin is 1st Corinthians 10:13-14, where Paul says "no temptation has overtaken you but that which is common to man. But God is faithful and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will always provide a way of escape, so that you can bear up under it. Therefore my beloved, flee from idolatry." Now, talk to me about taking the way of escape; also, how do you make decisions about the things that we've talked about today?  

Michael: Yeah, well, sometimes the way of escape is to not browse the Internet or to not watch that movie or read that book or listen to that music. The answer is not to put ourselves in places of danger, and then to cry out to the Lord to deliver us. Again, that's tempting the Lord, which were commanded not to do. So when deciding what kind of fences need to be established, we need to ask God to help us. And the Holy Spirit, through His word and through personal convictions, will lead us. Here are just some personal questions the Lord's given me to ask myself when determining what fences I need in place. These aren't in any particular order: Is this pleasing to The Lord? Is this edifying? Is this profitable? Is this helpful? How does this affect me spiritually? Does this increase or decrease my hunger for the Lord, his word, and prayer? Is this feeding my flesh or my spirit? Is this drawing me closer to the Lord, or taking me further from Him? Is this contrary to God's Word? The Holy Spirit will never lead us to do anything that goes against his revealed Word. Does this line up with God's word? I have passages referenced here like Romans 12: 1-2, Philippians 4:8, Colossians 3:2. I can't rely on my own understanding, Proverbs 14:12 says "there is a way that seems right to a man, but it's and is the way of death."  

Jim: The way that same right to a man ends in death. The way that God has outlined in his Word, leads to life. I really want to thank you for coming in today, you have given us very practical, very hands-on guidelines on how to protect ourselves from the things of the world, and how to stay away from that prostitute's house, how to stay out of trouble. Thank you so much, Michael.  

Michael: You're welcome Jim, thank you for having me.

Through the written record of His eternal Word and the great display of His love in sending Jesus, God has pronounced His blessings and made a way for us to partake of His divine promises. The story of Esau may seem ridiculous to many Christians, but his giving up his birthright for a bowl of soup is an image of what we are like when we chase our sin rather than live for God. In this message, Dustin Renz exhorts us through the story of Esau to see God’s blessings as precious and to be fought for, rather than focusing on the things of this earth.

Hedonism is the mindset of one who only wants to pursue pleasure and avoid discipline, hard work and pain.

We see this in the American culture that wants to escape into drugs, alcohol, porn, entertainment, and sports.

Much of today's church is more about entertainment than enlightenment, more about pleasing me than honoring Jesus.

All people will experience sorrow when they give over to sin. This is especially true of sex addicts because of the stigma, shame and inevitable consequences attached to sexual sin. But the Bible tells us that there are two types of sorrow. A worldly sorrow which leads to death, and godly sorrow which leads to repentance and eternal life. How can a sex addict know which sorrow he is experiencing?  

There are a number of key things to consider when asking this question. We can see a clear line between the focus and driving motivation behind the two, and it is very important that all those who desire freedom from sexual addiction be able to discern the difference.  

In this installment of Ask the Counselor, Biblical Counselor Ken Larkin diligently walks us through the key differences between worldly sorrow and godly sorrow so that we might experience the genuine and life-changing sorrow of God.

For all that the Bible has to say about repentance, you would think that most Christians would understand it, that preachers would preach about it, and that we would all practice it. Yet repentance remains a forgotten theme in much of the church.

Yet the Bible remains clear that repentance must continually be a part of every Christian's walk with God.

There are many so-called Christians who have an outward display of piety but no real inward relationship with God. Like the Pharisees of Jesus' day, they were keepers of the religious rules, but had no power to overcome inward sin.

As we continue through "The 20 Truths Series," Steve Gallagher shows us that a form of godliness does not have the power to deliver from sin.

A husband’s cycle of victory and defeat can often leave a wife feeling like she will never be able to escape the pain and uncertainty of the past. The fear that this can cause often becomes one of the undealt with areas in a woman’s life. Kathy has seen hundreds of women in this situation and has seen the damage that fear can do. Allowing fear to remain undealt with will keep the wife from moving forward, both in her marriage and in her relationship with God, even once her husband is consistently doing well. In this video, Kathy shares from her own testimony how she was able to overcome that fear and allow God to do his work in her life as well as Steve’s.

Leading psychologists who deal with sexual addiction agree that sex addiction is a form of insanity.

A sex addict lives in delusion, fantasy, and pursues a course he knows is harmful to himself and others. All of this is consistent with the behavior of the insane. (From #367 - Sexual Sin is the Epitome of Insanity)

Here at Pure Life we are Biblical Counselors. That is to say, all of our counsel comes directly from the Word of God. We believe that sexual addiction is an intense emotional attachment to sin. Addiction is a sin problem, and only God has the solution for sin. We are not psychologists, and don’t want to be. The word ‘psychology’ means the study of the soul, and we believe that only the Creator of the soul can heal it. So we put men in the Word of God, and the Holy Spirit uses the Word to change a man’s heart, renew his mind, and therefore change his behavior. It does little good to amend a man’s behavior if his heart hasn’t changed, because he’ll always go back to what his heart worships and his mind believes. But when God changes a heart, and renews a mind, you end up with a new man.        

Now, I’ve laid this foundation because, frankly, for the rest of my time I’m going to talk about psychology. One thing that all social scientists can do, and some do quite well, is to study human behavior and report out what they find about how men consistently behave. A scientist will analyze what he observes and record repetitions and patterns. This is the basis of all science. And not surprisingly, sex addicts all behave the same way. There is a discernible pattern to sin. James writes in chapter 1 of his letter that a man is tempted according to his own desires, deceives himself, gives in to the act of disobedience, and the result is always death. Every sex addict walks through this pattern every time.  

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It is the self-deception that is critical to the process. He has to lie to himself and believe his own lies in order to give himself permission to disobey God and do what he knows to be wrong. Though he knows the consequences of his sinful behavior will only lead to guilt, separation from God, injury to himself and others, he puts all this out of his mind, and pursues the object of his desire because he wants the very temporary high that comes from his sin. A rational person looking at this would quite simply conclude that such a thing is insanity. You know this brings death, you know it, and yet you do it anyway.  

Patrick Carnes is a highly regarded clinical psychologist who has spent his career studying the behavior of sex addicts. He is the author of such books as Don’t Call It Love and Out of the Shadows. And while we may not agree with psychological methods of treatment, we cannot fault this man’s observations and analysis.  

In his book, Out of the Shadows, Carnes basically says that all addictions are the result of insane thinking, and this is nowhere truer than among sex addicts. He writes that “Addicts progressively go through stages in which they retreat from the reality of friends, family and work. Their secret lives become more real than their public lives.” In other words, they lose touch with reality. He says, and I quote, “Leading a fantasy double life is a distortion of reality. An essential part of sanity is being grounded in reality, so in the sense that the addict distorts reality, the sexual addiction becomes a form of insanity.”  

He explains that all human behavior flows out of a man’s belief system, and that is the filter through which all his information passes. We agree. He sees reality, makes decisions, and behaves according to what is true for him, what he believes. Again, we agree. The Bible is very clear on that. So because the addict’s perception of reality is completely skewed, he acts according to his reprobate mind, to borrow the descriptor from the Apostle Paul.  

He completely ignores all the possible and even probable consequences of his behavior, believing that he is exempt and immune, and that such things as getting caught, bringing pain upon his spouse, losing his job, destroying his marriage, wrecking his life, (incurring the judgment of God on his sin) will never happen to him.

But, Paul writes, “Be not deceived. God will not be mocked. Whatever a man sows, that will he also reap.” (Gal. 6.7) Sin has its wages and one day it will pay out. Most of the men who come to Pure Life end up here because their sin began to cost them dearly, and they come, not just to rid themselves of their sin, but to save their marriages, their sanity, and their very lives.

Speaking still about the insanity of sexual addiction, Carnes offers a list of lies that a man must tell himself in order to do what he does. His list includes these, and every one of them is untrue:  

• If I don’t have it every few days, the pressure builds up.
• I’m oversexed and have to meet my needs.  
• What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.  
• Every guy would do this if he could.  
• If only my wife would be more responsive.  
• Cybersex is just electrons. This isn’t real.  
• With the stress I’m under, I deserve it.  
• It’s my way of relaxing.  
• This isn’t hurting anyone.  

Carnes concludes that whatever the rationalization (the form of self-deception) it further cuts the addict off from the reality of his behavior.

We agree with these conclusions, that there is an insanity to sexual sin, because we see it every day, and not because Carnes says so, but because the delusion that comes with sin is clearly taught in the Bible. The Bible describes perfectly man’s behavior when he pursues sin, and he acts the same way every time. He lies to himself, believes his own lies, justifies, blame shifts, separates from God and others, falls into guilt, remorse, despair, and then to make himself feel better, believes his own lies, and repeats the insane cycle all over again. It is no wonder that a social scientist can describe this typically human pattern of sin revealed by the Word of God.  

When the psalmist David was repenting of his sexual sin, he cried out to God, “You desire truth in the inmost being!” There is no better antidote to the insanity of sexual sin than a consistent exposure to the truth and an unwavering commitment to speak nothing but the truth. This is where the Holy Spirit comes in and why we advocate strongly a biblical approach to sexual sin.  

First, the Word of God is the truth and reading it and studying it fills our minds with the truth. The Holy Spirit comes alongside His Word and applies the truth to our hearts and renews our minds. He shows us the lies we’ve believed and replaces them with the truth about God and about ourselves. A commitment to transparency and accountability means no more secrets and no more lies. We have to believe the truth, speak the truth, and live according to the truth.  

Insanity loses touch with reality. Sexual sin makes you insane. You live in a world of fantasy and order your life accordingly. You believe lies and tell lies. Sanity is living in reality, believing, speaking and living the truth. Believing a lie binds you to that lie. Believing the truth is what sets you free.