This interview with Pure Life's counseling staff reveals the inner dynamics that lead people to hide their sexual sin and create a false life with two very different sides.

When a person is living in habitual sexual sin, one of the key features of his lifestyle will be a double life—a pattern of deception that creates an outward image to hide his addiction. Steve Gallagher describes this problem clearly in his book A Biblical Guide to Counseling the Sexual Addict:

The typical man who will come to you for help just been involved in elicit sexual activity for years. This immoral lifestyle has been done almost entirely in secret. Although sexual fantasy, pornography, and illicit encounters make up a huge part of his life, he has managed to hide it for most, if not all, of his closest friends and relatives. Most acquaintances would consider him to be a morally upright person and would never guess what he does when no one's looking.

How does someone get here? Where does this deceitful life actually start? Ed Buch, who is a biblical counselor and the pastor of Pure Life's Residential Program, explains the process:

Ed Buch: Very few people actually begin a double life as a decisive choice, like something they've thought about and then executed a plan to accomplish. Almost everyone enters into a double life very gradually, very subtly.

People end up in a double life for a couple of basic reasons. I think the most common one truly is that they're afraid of disappointing people—and maybe even themselves. They've gotten caught up, maybe, in a sin cycle—where they sin, they confess it, they sin, they confess it. They just don't want to disappoint others by letting them know that they are still in that. They expect victory; they expect to overcome sexual sin. But when that doesn't happen, they start to go underground with the truth about their situation, and they begin to develop this double life.

Although some people do just quit talking about their problems because they don't want to keep admitting they've failed, others have hidden sexual sin their whole lives and have never told anyone. And there are various factors that hold them back.

Ed Buch: There's shame...there's the fact that some of them don't intend to give up their sexual sin...and there are others who probably just never had that convenient opening they were looking for, where they could share it.

Over the years our ministry has helped so many people that fit this pattern, and in many of their stories, the double life they lived grew out of a situation where the stakes were even higher than usual.

Ed Buch: At Pure Life Ministries we get a significant percentage of the men coming into the program who are actually coming out of full-time ministry, and so this double life is a common theme. They're active in ministry; people are not aware that they're in sexual sin. They're preaching on Sundays, leading the worship team on Sundays, or doing whatever it is they're tasked to do in the church on a regular basis. But over time, they've allowed a back door open in their life; something has gone awry in their spiritual life, and they have begun to live a double life. And that dark side has increased over time and eventually become the dominant theme in their life.

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We just had a pastor recently in the program who had pastored for a couple of decades. I am sure he was a good, well-liked pastor who had a relationship with the Lord. But over time, he started dabbling in some pornography. He'd gotten hooked into it one day kind of subtly, and over time it just grew and became a very powerful force in his life that overrode everything else, including his marriage vows and his service to the Lord. And I'm sure that, to him, it seemed impossible to come into the light, because his job, his marriage, his house—all of it was was connected to the job he was doing as a pastor, so bringing anything into the light about his sexual sin jeopardized all of that. I'm sure he felt stuck, paralyzed...unable to really break free of this on his own and unable, in his mind, to pay the price of coming into the light with it.

When a person's sexual sin is exposed, this double life can be a shocking revelation—even to those that know them the best. But one of our biblical counselors, Jeremiah Eakin, says that it's not hard to start down this road.

Jeremiah Eakin: You can hide anything, as far as sexual sin. It can be same sex attraction, it can be pornography, it can be masturbation. That's the thing with sexual sin: it's so easy to hide, because you can do it in your mind, or you can do it right in front of people. And no one knows it. You can hide any form of sexual sin and still go to church and wear nice clothes, and then you worship and leave and virtually no one will know your struggle. No one will be able to tell, because it's all happening in the heart and in the mind, and there's not really any outward signs.

The length of time that someone can keep living a double life varies. But it's hard to keep doing it forever, as Jeremiah points out.

Jeremiah Eakin: You have to create something false. So it just depends on how good of a liar you are. It's being double-minded. James says, "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." People can go 20, 30, 40, or 50 years. But eventually, it's going to come to an end. It's not real and it's in direct opposition to what the Bible says. We have a conscience, and we are supposed to walk out our Christian life in faith. But if you're in sexual sin, your conscience is messed up and faith malfunctions—every time. So you can't go on like this. You'll see someone all of a sudden leave the church after 20 years. It happens very abruptly, but they've never really been walking out the Christian life. It's just been a facade, and all of a sudden they just can't do any more and they leave the church.

If the statistics are correct, sexual sin is a problem every church needs to pay attention to. But since this phenomenon of people having a double life is also going on, how can a person know who's struggling? Jeremiah shares some thoughts.

Jeremiah Eakin: There is a way to tell. They're not going to have real life—life that's flowing out of them. Someone who's stuck in legalism would look the same way. If you have a church where people really know the Lord, you can recognize this problem. There's going to be life in a genuine Christian, and that's the main difference, because someone in sexual sin isn't going to have that real life. And so if you get to know them...if you spend time with them, you'll see. But you have to get to know people. It's not enough just to see them at church. You have to get into their life. You'll see that the reality is they're destroying themselves. There is a cry for help, but you have to get in there and be willing to get your hands dirty with people.

Jeremiah has a burden for people who are hiding out in the church—struggling, but silent. So he shares a final word of encouragement about what people can do to reach out.

Jeremiah Eakin: These things need to be talked about directly, because it's out there. People are struggling with it, but they need an outlet where it's talked about and confronted. And that's the best thing you can do for someone in sexual sin: go straight at it. Talk about it in real terms. One of the best things you can do if you think someone is struggling with sexual sin is just to get to know them. Just talk to them. Because it will show up in their life. You'll just see it. They'll have an opportunity to share. Those who are struggling want to tell people, but they need a safe place to share this, because to them, it's very shameful. And so there has to be some trust involved. It has to be a safe place for them to really open up and share what's going on. That’s important.

This excerpt is from a podcast episode that we designed especially for pastors and other church leaders presenting a three-part profile on the typical sexual addict, “A Leader’s Guide to the Sexual Addict, Episode #326”.

To access our full podcast library, visit purelifeministries.org/purity-for-life, or check us out in the iTunes store or Google Play store.

In a world full of lies, even Christians can easily be deceived. The truth is, we’re all prone to deception because we often want the lies that we are fed. For example, those regularly giving over to sexual sin will often gravitate to lies which justify their immoral lifestyle. In this interview, Steve Gallagher helps us see what’s going on in our hearts during this process, and helps us see the way to combat the world’s lies.

Nate: In a book that is called Walking in Truth in a World of Lies, I think what most people would expect is that you would deal with very specific lies in every aspect of our culture and then debunk those specific lies. You did do that in the first section, talking about various spheres of culture, but then you spent the next two sections doing something very different. Can you explain what and why?

Pastor Steve: Yeah, I could see why a Christian seeing this book would think that, and like you said, in the first section I do go into some specifics about how we're constantly being lied to. But there is a purpose in that, and it's not to debunk those lies. It is simply to offer examples of how we are constantly being bombarded with falsehood and how that affects us spiritually.
       That's the point of the first section. The rest of the book has more to do with the Christian culture and what's going on in the Christian culture. How am I lying to myself? What lies am I believing about myself and my life in God? What is the deception of the End Times? How does that look? What does that look like in our church culture today? So, when I'm talking about walking in truth, it has much more to do with the reality of our life in God. Living and walking with the Lord in truth about myself and truth about Him in the midst of overwhelming deception. That's a better context of the point of the book.

Nate: One of the things that you stressed over and over in this book is the need to take personal responsibility for lies that you believe. And I think that to some people, this doesn't really make logical sense. Here’s an example. Let's say I'm standing on a street corner minding my own business and this guy comes up to me and says, “Hey man, watch my dog. I have to go into the store, and they don't allow pets inside.” So, I say sure, whatever.” Five minutes later the police come and I'm arrested for possession of drugs, because the dog was secretly carrying drugs. Now to me, I was deceived and I'm innocent. So similarly, why is it that to be deceived morally or spiritually is actually my responsibility instead of the person who's deceiving me.

Pastor Steve: As an ex-police officer, I can tell you there has to be criminal intent for there to be a crime. In that situation you described, you had no criminal intent. You were completely deceived by this conman and you are innocent. And we are innocent of many of the lies that have been told to us. For instance, George Bush kind of twisted the truth about the need to attack Iraq, because he said they had “weapons of mass destruction.” And it was all a fabrication or an exaggeration of the actual facts as he knew them. So, he lied to us and we were victimized by that. I sincerely believed him, because I thought him as a man of character.
       So there's that. We are victims of many lies. But I opened the first chapter of the book by talking not about deception, but about the inherent desires that drive every human being. We are driven through life by what we want. When it comes to the whole concept of truth and deception, you cannot divorce the reality of what you want in life from how you perceive truth. What we want clouds our ability to discern truth.
       For example, a man who hungers and thirsts for righteousness is going to be open to hearing all the truth that God has to say. But in contrast, a man who's in habitual sexual sin and pornography has had his mind inundated with deception. He has a powerful desire to participate in sexual sin. And as you start feeding him over-exaggerations of doctrine such as the lies of antinomianism, which says that it's okay to sin and that God covers you, he is going to be very susceptible to believing that lie, because he's driven by what he wants. In this case, you are making yourself open to deception and that is on you, because your heart is not right.

Nate: Let's go back to the story about me being deceived by that con man. That was one moment in time. I was deceived and I received some consequences, even though I was acquitted. But for most people it's not that obvious. Take someone for example who grows up believing in hell, but 10 years down the line, they don't believe in hell and now they believe that all religions lead to the same god. During that whole process, they didn’t think they were being deceived. Instead, they believed that they were being enlightened. How does that process happen inside of a person where there could be that dramatic of a shift, where they think that they’re closer to the truth than they have ever been.

Pastor Steve: The Bible uses terms like “walking in” or “living in” frequently. Walking in the truth is a biblical phrase which describes a person's lifestyle. Think of someone who has lived 70 years of life and maybe the last 30 were lived as a Christian. During that 30 years, little things are happening here and there. You're making decisions every day in the things that you do, in what music you listen to, what entertainment that you subject yourself to. All of that is affecting you spiritually. We live in constant flex morally speaking and spiritually speaking. As a human being, you are not a stationary being. You are living in a constant flex determined by your decisions.
       We need an anchor of truth, which is the Word of God. So you have to be so tied into that and be determined to obey the Word. That is the anchor, the truth that is immovable. It's a mountain and it is a rock. It is not going anywhere. There is no flex in God's truth whereas we're all over the place because of our emotions and so on. So a person can start in truth and end up way out of whack because they were making many choices along the way that little by little took them off the straight and narrow road. And by the time you get 10 years down the road, you can really be in trouble. And I think that's how it happens.

Nate: The piece of that that's most concerning to me is that in that process it's like there's something happening on the subconscious level that is then revealed in the conscious level. How do you get down to that subconscious level so that you can know what's happening there? So that you don't end up way off track.

Pastor Steve: Well, all I can tell you is that the subconscious level is your will, and we all have a free will. We have the choice to decide to do the right thing or the wrong thing. So, when you want something that is pushing you in a direction, that is also part of your will. In fact, the very word desire and will are the same word in the Greek. They both are describing two sides of the same coin. So, what you desire in life is propelling you forward in life and is causing you to make certain decisions underneath the surface. And up on the conscious level, you can tell yourself all kinds of things, but there be a disconnect between the two.
       At the surfacy level, you are flattering yourself and making yourself in your own mind seem way better off than you really are spiritually while what God is seeing in your heart is what is really going on. And that is that you are in lust for whatever form of idolatry you are given over to, and that's what is propelling you in life. That is what is causing you to make the decisions that are you are making. But because you're not being honest with yourself and there's a disconnect, you can lie to yourself and think that you can get away with whatever you want to get away with. And that is happening in the hearts of multitudes of professing Christians.

Nate: I've been here for 12 years and how many times have I heard you emphasize time in the Word and time in prayer that helps develop a real connection with God. Is that what can really stop the process we’ve been talk about, or even reverse it? Does time in the Word and prayer affect your will and bring forth the fruit of a change of desire? Is that's what happening?

Pastor Steve: I've got different kinds of lusts that go on inside me like anyone else. But the primary drive of my life is that I want to obey God. I am hungering and thirsting for right living before the Lord. Because that is the primary drive of my life then when I'm spending time with God and I read a verse that convicts me about an area of lust or sinful desire, I come under conviction and I repent to the Lord. That's what keeps me right inside.
       It’s the same in prayer. When I am being propelled primarily towards obeying God in my heart, then when I'm in prayer, my ears will hear the Lord speaking and I will sense the conviction of the Holy Spirit if I'm getting out of whack in one way or another. And that does happen to me, but the Lord is quick, and He helps me to stay on the straight and narrow road. That's my testimony and I think that people who aren't so concerned about right living with God are susceptible to deception.

Nate: Any time a person is confronted with a specific truth, he's going to do one of two things. He will either embrace it or reject it. That rejection happens in a number of different ways. If you could see into a person's heart who is rejecting the truth and obviously thereby being deceived, what would you see inside that person?

Pastor Steve: I get what you're saying, but my problem with that illustration is this: how often are Christians really being confronted with truth? The reality is, most preachers have learned to become very diplomatic, because they are tired of getting emotionally beaten down by angry parishioners. They have softened their message so that people won't get mad at them. So first of all, are they even being confronted with truth?
       Secondly, let's say they're reading in the Bible the Sermon on the Mount. There Jesus says, ‘you have heard that it is said, you shall not commit adultery. But I say unto you, if you even look at a woman with lust in your heart, you have committed adultery.’” So, what does a Christian man do with that? Typically, what happens inside of a man who is driven by other desires is that he has already built in place beliefs and doctrinal systems so that he can discount what Jesus is saying. He can also latch on to the message of false teachers to help him believe the lie that Jesus doesn’t really mean what He is saying.  

Nate: The thing that strikes me when you say that is that there's a moment in time where a person is confronted by the truth. But how they respond in that moment could be predicated by what happened yesterday, the day before or 10 years ago. So, it's almost like, where I am now could have required a lot of work previously by the Holy Spirit to get me to the point where I even am confronted by the truth in a meaningful way.

Pastor Steve: Yeah. It's like I was saying. We are a product of our past. If you've been lied to constantly and you bought into those lies long ago, you are putting layer after layer of deception into your heart. And you are creating a receptive environment for falsehood to be accepted and acted upon. That's why it is so important that we get a grasp of truth. Yes, Biblical truth, orthodox beliefs and all that. But more than that is what is the Lord really saying to you as a believer? You must be in complete connection with God's reality of where you are in your walk with Him. That is the important thing.

Just because we take extreme measures to prevent giving in to sexual temptation doesn’t mean anything has changed in our hearts. We can’t just put off sinful habits, we need God to give us a new heart – one in which He produces the true fruits of righteousness. In this roundtable discussion, Josh, Chris, and Luke sit down in the Pure Life studio to discuss the crazy things they did to overcome their sexual addiction and how it never worked. But their stories will also give hope to anyone in bondage as they share how God blessed them and freed them tremendously during their time in our Residential Program.

Resources

• The Gift of a New Heart (Blog) by Purity for Life
• Intoxicated with Babylon (Book) by Steve Gallagher

If Genesis 6-8 tell the story of a family that survived the great flood because of their devotion to God, why do Genesis 10-11 tell the story of a great insurrection against God's authority? How could mankind have fallen so far, so fast? Steve Gallagher joins us to look at where the Tower of Babel rebellion ultimately began - in the heart of one of Noah's own sons. We’ll see how a young man who grew up in a very godly home could become the grandfather of the very first Antichrist. And Ed Buch helps connect this story to each one of us, showing how it plays out for many in the church today. Plus, our staff roundtable guests will share personal testimonies of the outward things they tried to stop from giving over to sexual sin, how these never worked, and what ultimately changed their hearts.

Resources

• Intoxicated with Babylon (Book) By Steve Gallagher

We all know that we’re being lied to on a daily basis. From news outlets, to advertisements, to social media we’re surrounded by it. And with such an onslaught, it’s easy to allow cynicism to grow in our hearts. But this can lead us into a dangerous spiritual condition, as Pastor Steve discusses in this interview from our archives.

Nate: You wrote in the introduction to the first part of your book, Walking In Truth In A World Of Lies, that there is an unexpected danger that threatens a person who's constantly being barraged with lies. The danger is that a person can start to think that it's impossible to know what's true and what's a lie. And this can give way either to despair or to cynicism. And to me that came out of left field. I would never even have thought of that as a danger in our day and age. So why do you believe that is such a danger?

Pastor Steve: Well, the entire Christian faith is built on trust. It’s built on the fact that we believe in the Lord, we believe in His character and we believe in what He tells us. And when you become so disaffected by constant lies and you’re being lied to everywhere you turn, I think for most people it becomes an unconscious feeling. It's not that we sit and think it through, it's just that we know we're being lied to constantly. And then that crosses over unconsciously into our minds regarding our relationship with the Word of God and with the Lord Himself.
And like I just said, everything in Christianity is built on our trust in the Lord and our belief in who He is, who He says He is and what He says He is going to do. We can't afford to allow cynicism to creep into our attitudes about life. We should be skeptical when we know we're being lied to, but we don't want to cross the line into cynicism about everything and everyone. That's the danger.

Nate: I actually remember being confronted by the Lord on this issue in my own life. I had crossed that line into cynicism about everything just like you were saying. The ongoing thoughts I had were, “Why even try to find out the truth if you know that you're just constantly being lied to.” How would a person know if they have crossed the line from skepticism into cynicism?

Pastor Steve: Well, it takes self-awareness. You have to really be in touch with what's happening inside of you and what's going on in your relationship with the Lord. There has to be some degree of a sensitivity and a conscientiousness about it and living in the reality of the spiritual life. Those kinds of things give you discernment as to what's true and what's false. Then you’ll know if you're crossing into becoming cynical about everything.
Truthfully, cynicism is a form of pride. And if you have been broken by the Lord repeatedly in different areas of your life, you get broken down from that high place of pride where you are the judge of everything, including God. You'd be shocked at how many Christians subconsciously think that way. If you're talking about being cynical towards God and God's Word - if that isn't pride, I don’t know what is. So, that's really what's underlying that: the need for brokenness. We need to allow God to break us of our pride and to humble us. And then you take on a completely different mindset and attitude toward the Lord.

Nate: Pure Life Ministries is dedicated to helping Christian men and women overcome sexual sin and its consequences. Cynicism seems to be totally unrelated, and I think a lot of people would think that way. So why spend so much time on a subject that seems to not even really fit directly with the mission of Pure Life?

Pastor Steve: The primary mission of Pure Life Ministries is to help men who are dealing with habitual sexual sin. The Bible talks about the deception of sin. Sin is very deceptive, and you can't be practicing sin in an ongoing manner without also allowing deception to take root in your heart. Meaning that your perspectives have become so skewed by sin and the film of sin over your spiritual eyes, that you can't get a grasp on what truth really is. So, this topic is very relevant to a person who has been involved in habitual sexual sin.

Nate: I don't think there's anyone who would be reading this who could say I walk in truth in every area of my life. And you said in the epilogue to your book that your constant prayer through writing this was that you would be able to present the many ways that Satan, who is the master deceiver, is deceiving people so that men and women can learn to walk in truth. We're going to get into some specific ways in regard to how to walk in truth in later interviews. But for this first interview, what's one way that a person could avoid being deceived?

Pastor Steve: Well, I would say that inundating yourself with Scripture is part of the process. Just building a biblical framework in your daily thinking. Because when you are consistently immersed in Scripture, it creates a new way of looking at life. Also, it is equally as important to be very honest with yourself about your inner world. Do your utmost not to get into a mindset of looking to create an image to present to others, that isn’t consistent with who you really are as a person. I would say, those two things kind of go hand in hand and both are vital to being able to walk in truth.

Nate: Okay, great. Thanks. You've given us a lot to think about, and even some ways to begin responding. I look forward to the rest of this series. Thanks for doing it.

Pastor Steve: Amen, it’s great.

What does it mean to be “unequally yoked”?

I addressed this very issue in my book, Intoxicated with Babylon:

Paul is referring here to an obscure law, which forbade the yoking of an ox with a donkey. (Deuteronomy 22:10) They aren’t compatible and cannot accomplish a synchronized plowing of a field. Yes, the ox and the donkey can graze together, but they can never work side-by-side in a yoke.

Now Paul applies the law’s principle to a believer and an unbeliever. A true Christian has undergone an enormous inward change. God has transformed his values, beliefs, and perspectives, and thus his lifestyle; all of which are now diametrically opposed to those of unbelievers around him. There is no possibility of reconciliation between the two.

Paul then asks, “For what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” How can those who are submitted to God intermingle with those who are part of a system which is in rebellion against God? How can the kingdom of light—that place of holiness, purity, and truth—co-exist with the unholy, impure, deceptive kingdom of darkness? They are two different kingdoms eternally separated. THERE IS NO GRAY AREA BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL.

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Paul is targeting worldliness among believers and probing such issues as,

● Should a daughter of light be married to a son of darkness?

● Should a man who is governed by the precepts of heaven be yoked in a business partnership with one who has pledged allegiance to this world’s system?

● Should believers fraternize with unbelievers?

The answer to all these questions is a resounding, “NO!” As Paul admonished the Corinthians before, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals.’” (I Corinthians 15:33)

The one who has been truly saved recognizes the effect bad company has on him, and he consistently avoids unhealthy relationships. He lives his life for the kingdom of heaven and is not enthralled with the world’s charms or its charmers. He “...does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers,” (Psalms 1:1) because he understands his vulnerability to their influences. This is the separated life of a true believer.

This commandment does not mean that a person who is already married to an unbeliever should seek a divorce. Paul addressed this issue in 1 Corinthians 7:15.

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Here’s the full roundtable discussion from Episode #493. Listen as three of our counselors walk through how the spiral of degradation unfolded in their own lives. They get brutally honest about where that took them, but also how wonderful it was when Jesus finally broke through and brought them out of that spiral and into life in Him.

In the next few episodes, we’re going to look at the origins of Babylon. But before we get there, we need to look back to a time before this city was founded, to a time when mankind was almost universally engrossed in spiritual darkness. In the time before the flood, mankind fell into a wicked state that was so offensive to God that He wiped all but a few from the face of the earth. As we investigate this history, we learn about the corrupt nature of the human heart and how we must guard ourselves so as not to go down the same deplorable paths that those ancient men and women fell into.

Resources

• Intoxicated with Babylon (Book) by Steve Gallagher

Earlier this year we released a podcast series called "Refined as Silver", and recently we filmed a follow up episode based on conversations we had during that series. In it, we discuss the necessity of standing against a worldly atmosphere in the home, because when a home is full of worldliness, it creates a wide-open door for all sorts of lustful temptations and for sexual sin.

You can find the series by clicking the link below and listening to episodes #473-#477: https://www.purelifeministries.org/podcast

We received an email from a young man, twenty one years old who is struggling with his sex drive - no surprise for a twenty one year old - and I guess someone has suggested to him that psychotropic drugs may be a solution to his problem. How would you respond to that?

Well I would respond from scripture, like I would with any kind of an issue that comes up in life like this. In 2 Peter 1, Peter made a couple interesting statements that I think we should take a look at. He said this:

“seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.”

OK now that's a mouthful and I understand that. But I do want to say a couple of things about this. First of all, I need to say that I believe this statement is true. With all my heart I believe it's true, not only because the Bible says it, but also because it's my testimony. It's something that I have experienced and I've seen lived out in the lives of many people. God has what every believer needs. That's not just cheap preacher talk or something, it's the reality of anyone who has a life with God. Peter promises us here that God's power will provide everything we need to make it in life. We have to decide do we really believe that. I mean that's really what it boils down to. When we hear these kind of promises made in Scripture, we have to decide "Do I really believe what the Bible is saying."

Personally, the idea of a Christian needing to take drugs to live in victory is absolutely preposterous to me. It shows me - and it's not surprising for a twenty one year old - but it shows me that this young man does not yet know what it means to have the power of God in his inner life. If he will a establish a strong devotional life, not only will he find that there is power to live victoriously in Christ, but it will give him a wonderful opportunity to ask God for a greater infilling of the Holy Spirit.

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One of the things that I see in his email is that he is so focused on the sex drive. Of course most guys that are twenty one years old - I mean probably in their teenage years and up - very often, that is exactly what they're focused on. So there's more here that Peter is saying about that focus isn't there?

Well he's overwhelmed, you know? And like you say, a lot of young people do become overwhelmed when their hormones are raging inside. But you know, I want to say this, that when God becomes large in a person's heart and in his daily life and in his mind - large in the sense that he's spending time with him; he's connected to the vine - then problems become much smaller and much more manageable. And you know, when you're just kind of living in the flesh, of course your problems are going to be overwhelming.

Now in his email he said that he wants to reduce the sex drive. So are we saying that if he develops that relationship with the Lord - if his focus is on his life in the Lord - are those going to go away?

No, his sex drive is what it is. I mean it's a physical thing that he has to deal with. But what does come into play is the power to be able to deal with it in the right way. You know, that's what he's missing now. All he's focused on is the sex drive, but he's not seeing the power of God at work in his inner-man.

Of course one of the things that fights against young men who want to go on the right path with this issue is that the culture is saying that you are a captive to these desires, that you can't possibly not give-in to these desires. In fact, the culture teaches you're abnormal if you don't give-in to these desires.

Right. Also one of the problems that is raised is the fact that really they're more plugged-in with the world and the pagan culture we live in than they are to the things of God. So of course when you're more plugged-in to that strong heavy message coming across television and the Internet and so on, that's going to shape your thinking and your belief system; and it's going to strengthen the unbelief that's already in you.

And for a young man or even for a young woman, this really is - if you look at it right - a wonderful opportunity to prove the faithfulness of God in your own life.

Yes it is a wonderful opportunity to glorify God in your body. You know, what a message it sends to young people around you today who are just totally given over to the things of this world, the flesh, sex, and all of it; and to be able to stand strong and say "Listen I'm not into that. My life means something more than that."

Here’s the full roundtable discussion from Episode #492. In it, three Pure Life staff members discuss the subtle ways the enemy lured them into sexual sin through the spirit of Babylon. They also discuss how God helped them separate themselves from that spirit during their time in our Residential Program.

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Welcome to our summer series, Babylon: The Seat of Satan's Power. In this series, we are going to dive deep into this relevant subject, exploring what Babylon really is, what it's goals are and how it seeks to accomplish them.

Babylon is famous for being the brutal empire that conquered God's people and carried them off into exile. But Babylon is much more than that. It was established soon after the flood and became a symbol in Scripture for everything that is in rebellion to God's authority. Babylon is a threat to every believer which God warns us to distance ourselves from because the entire world is engulfed in the spirit of Babylon and is headed towards outright insurrection against the Lordship of Jesus.

In this episode, we begin by looking at why separating ourselves from the world is the only way to truly walk with Christ and find freedom from sexual sin.

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