What hope can we have that we will ever be able to get a hold of Truth?

When we look around Western civilization, we see a self-acclaimed progressive culture that has stripped away any meaning from the word “truth.” Truth has become nothing more than feelings, emotions and subjective experience.

The plight in the Western Church is not much better. Despite overwhelming access to Biblical knowledge, little or no fruit is being manifested in multitudes of professing Christians' daily lives. Even for those who hold tightly to orthodox doctrine, there can be a temptation to keep the Truth from going any further than head knowledge.

Our only hope is a God-given hunger for the Truth. Our only hope is a one-on-one relationship with God. Our only hope is humbly receiving the Word of God and allowing it to transform our minds.

Our newest series, World of Lies, will examine the growing deception of these last days and the threat this is to the body of Christ. Today we tackle the unexpected danger that threatens a person who is constantly bombarded with lies which often grows quietly grow to slowly erode our life in God.

We look at how our culture is sewing this into us and our director of counseling, Ed Buch, joins us as well, to talk about how this concealed threat is a common problem for the man stuck in sexual sin.

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When the biblical writers talked about the last days, one main  characteristic of these times emerged: deception on a massive scale; a  global assault on truth that would deceive not only the unbelieving  world, but multitudes inside the four walls of the Church. I don’t think  that there’s any question that we are living in the very last of those  Last Days. If that’s true, then there is one thing we know for sure. We  are being lied to every day, all day, in a bunch of different ways.  We’re going to look at some of the specific ways that deception  confronts all of us in future interviews, but today we want to look at  the truth about deception: what it is. How it works. Why people are  deceived.

What is the goal of Biblical Counseling? Jeff Colon talks about the misconception many Christians have when they come into counseling and what the correct focus should be. If we have the right goal in mind, we will begin to find victory over the problems in our lives.

Mike: Jeff, today we want to talk about the goal of our counsel. But before we get into the specifics of that, I want to ask more generally, what is the goal of our life as a Christian?

Jeff: I believe most people go into counseling really just looking for an answer as to how they can be happy. They think their problem is that they aren’t happy. And their goal is, sometimes, to be happy. And A.W. Tozer made this statement about being happy,

"God is not concerned about our happiness, but our holiness."

So, in other words, our goal as Christians isn't to be happy. Our goal should be an underlying passion to please God.

Mike: How does that translate to your goal as a Biblical Counselor and what you're trying to accomplish with an individual whose come to you for help?

Jeff: Well, our goal as Biblical Counselors is to bring that person into a spiritual maturity where he begins to exhibit Christlike qualities in his life.

Mike: As we look then at counseling the sexual addict, how important is it for the individual to set specific goals?

Jeff: It is very important, Mike, to have a goal. Most of us, without a goal in front of us, really just go through life aimlessly, without any direction. So, it is very important for a man in sexual sin, or any person being counseled, to have that goal before them so they have a reference point. We can kind of relate it to an athlete who's in training. Think about these gold medal, Olympic winners. They had a goal in mind as a child. They put all their efforts from early childhood into reaching the goal: one day standing on that podium and having that medal placed around their neck. That was all they could see, their whole lifetime leading up to that point. As Christians, we too need that goal in front of us and our goal, obviously, is not temporal. Our goal is eternal. It is to pursue Christ. It's to be like Him. That needs to be before every believer. That needs to be the goal that they're focused on. Everything in their life is revolving around fulfilling that goal.

Mike: Well, talk to us, if you can, about how do we go about establishing a goal.

Jeff: Paul points out to us how a counselor is to do that. He says several things: We proclaim Him. We admonish every man. We teach every man, with all wisdom. And the goal of this is that we may present every man complete in Christ.

Mike: Jeff, can you give us an example of how you begin to apply this, in a practical way, when you're counseling an individual?

Jeff: Sure, Mike. There's a good example in Scripture. Jesus was really the best counselor in the world - He just knew every man perfectly. He could see right into the heart. When He dealt with the Rich Young Ruler, He confronted him in truth, but also with love because He loved that man. Jesus could see that the young man did not have the right goal. He was looking to his riches in this world. That was the Rich Young Ruler's goal. And he asked Jesus, how he could have eternal life, and Jesus lovingly pointed out to him what in the man's heart was keeping him from having the right goal. As a Biblical Counselor, we need to fulfill our calling by pointing out those things in a person's life that are taking them away from their true goal as a Christian, which is again, to be like Christ and set our hearts on the things of God.

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Mike: Jeff, I know often the men that come into our Residential Program or our Overcomers At-Home Program wanting to know how to deal with their sexual addiction problem. But then, you have to help them to realize that there's really a much deeper goal that they need to have in their lives.

Jeff: Yeah. What the men come to realize is that, really, their whole problem is that their focus has been all wrong. Their goal has been all wrong. And since their goal is simply to get free from sexual sin, they're really missing the more important goal, which is to know Christ, become like Christ, and to exemplify Christ in their lives.

Mike: As you begin to work with this individual, towards that goal, how does that play out in their life?

Jeff: Well, we all come to Christ with baggage. We come with our old thinking. We can call it the old man or the old nature. So, it's very important for a counselee to understand what progressive sanctification means and what it means to deny the flesh. It's important they understand what it means to put on the Spirit. This is a process that we have to choose to enter into. And we have to realize that, as we do that, sanctification begins to take place. And that is when a person is made holy - when a person is conformed, beginning to be conformed, into the image of Jesus.

Mike: How important is it that a believer understand this? I know that, very often what happens is, you begin this process and if you're not aware that it's a process, you may go a few months into your Christian walk or into counseling, but you may not see change happening.

Jeff: Yeah, I think a lot of times one of the biggest problems is that people just want to get zapped and be different. They don't realize it's a process. It's a process of choices. It's a process of yielding to God on a daily basis. It's a process of seeing those things in our lives that are contrary to Christ and contrary to the Word of God and choosing to deny them and to put on the mind of the Spirit and really start applying the Word of God and the truth of God in our lives.

Mike: Can you give us a picture maybe, that will help us to better understand this transformation process that the Lord wants to bring about in our lives – to better understand the change that He wants to bring about in our lives?

Jeff: I think a lot of times, we just don't see our flesh right. I think a lot of times, we try to just fix up what we already have. What we don't realize is that the old has to go. It's like I'm going down a street. I'm driving through this nice neighborhood with all these beautiful mansions lined up along the road. Then all of a sudden, in between these mansions, is this old dilapidated shack. It just doesn't fit in. It would really stand out in that kind of scenery. We really need to see, like Paul did, that in my flesh – in my old shack – there is absolutely nothing good. That old shack needs to be bulldozed over. It needs to be totally torn down so that God can resurrect the new man in us. That can't really happen until a person sees their shack for what it is. I'll put it to you this way, Mike, Jesus tells us to crucify the flesh. If I'm still believing good about myself and if I'm still trusting in myself, then I'm not willing to drag that old man out to the dump and have him crucified. Until I see the worthlessness of my old man and that everything about him needs to die, I'm not going to bring him to Calvary. Instead, I'll try to fix him up and prop him up. But really, he needs to go.

Mike: Well Jeff, that almost sounds like that could be painful.

Jeff: It is painful, but what we don't realize is we're just preventing this glorious new life that God is trying to put in us. It's like an old car where the engine is shot. It's all rusted out, but God's got a brand-new car sitting in the dealership. It's waiting for us to step into. Yet here we are, holding on to this old wreck. It's sentimental. It's got a lot of feelings attached to it, but if we're just willing to let that go, God has something so much better waiting for us. But we'll never know that something until we let go of that old life.

Mike: I hope that helps people understand a little bit more about the goal of our counsel. And I hope it will be an encouragement to them. We do go through those difficult times where we may not exactly be happy about the pain we experience. But with it, comes the destruction of our old life and the emerging of a wonderful new life in Christ.

Every lie and half-truth carries with it a hidden danger ready to steal, kill and destroy our life in God. There’s an unexpected danger that is threatening a person who’s constantly being barraged with lies: a person can start to think that it’s impossible to know what’s true and what’s a lie and this can give way either to despair or to cynicism, both of which are dangerous paths for the Christian.

How does biblical counseling differ from other counseling methods? Jeff Colon shows us that if we would effectively help people, we must understand the true nature of their problems. He also discusses what role past experiences play in the addictions many people struggle with.

Mike: Jeff, as men and women come to us, many of them have looked in a number of places for answers and have gotten a lot of different information. When we're looking at the method of our council, what is the foundation that we use for helping people with their problems?

Jeff: Well Mike, in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 it tells us that,

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

As a Christian, we have to realize that God's Word has everything we need to help bring a person out of a horrible pit of sin, and into the will of God.

Mike: Jeff, I know that when many people look at the Word of God, they see that it is a Book that talks about who God is and about salvation. But I think sometimes, it's hard for people to grasp that it really does have something to say about the day-to-day problems that we deal with. So, is there more to the Word of God than just over-arching religious issues, as some may see it?

Jeff: Absolutely. If we would just get in the Scriptures, we would realize that the Word of God addresses every kind of situation that a person is going to encounter in life. The joy I find in Biblical Counseling is that I know that whatever someone is dealing with, that the Word of God is going to reveal what the problem is and is also going to reveal the way out. God never points out a problem in our lives without giving us the answer.

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Mike: Okay. Then based on that, as we look at our method of counseling those struggling with sexual addiction, in much of both Christian and secular counseling, people want to look at what's going on in our early years. Is there something about how addiction is formed that relates to how we've grown up, or the experiences that we go through as we're growing up?

Jeff: You know, we were created to worship God. We were created for God. But we were also created to have fellowship with God. When we turned from that relationship that we had with God, there was a void left there. And every child that's born on Earth is born with that need inside of them to be accepted and to be loved, which really, only God can provide. Now, I don't know of a perfect mother, or a perfect dad, or a perfect situation that someone grows up with. When so we grow up, there's things that happen to us. Children are even abused. And the problem is that they have that longing there and they are not getting it met, so they turn to other things to fill that void in their life. And the more they turn to that, the more they become addicted to what it's giving them. That could be sex, it could be anything that is gratifying that need inside of them, that longing inside of them that really only God can fill.

Mike: Then how much am I really responsible for the choices and decisions I make now as an adult?

Jeff: We don't want to totally rule out the experiences, and I don't want to discount that they have effects on a child. But we've got to remember that people choose to sin. And whether harm was inflicted on us by someone or something else, or if we inflict harm on ourselves by choices we make, God calls us to deal with what we're facing biblically.

Mike: Would you agree that a vast majority of the emotional problems that we see in adults today, are rooted in our sinful condition and our rebellion against God, or in our response to others around us who are in a sinful condition?

Jeff: Here's the problem, Mike. If we just deal with our problems on an emotional level, we're never really going to get to the heart of the matter. And the heart of the matter is: we're born sinners, and the problems we face are the result of a sin issue. And unless we deal with the problem from where it originates, we will never experience freedom from whatever we're dealing with.

Mike: I think simply stated, we could say that most of the secular psychotherapy that people are exposed to only want to deal with the issue from an emotional level, and this is going to fall very short of what God wants to do in someone's life. What about the Christian psychologist, who will often deal with an issue on the emotional level, but also sees a need to bring in the spiritual component? Is that going far enough to really help a person?

Jeff: Well, a lot of times when a Christian counselor approaches it in that way, he's still keeping it an emotional problem. Unless we call it sin and unless there is true brokenness and repentance, unless there is a conforming of our lives to the Word of God, there will not be true freedom.

Mike: So, the problem that we're dealing with then is a sin issue and it's a matter of the heart. Talk to us a little bit about what the Bible has to say about the heart and the issue of sin.

Jeff: Jesus tells us that from within - from out of the heart of men - proceed evil thoughts: fornication, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these things proceed from within. And what that tells me, Mike, is that I'm not a product of my environment. The problem lies within, and the Word of God is clear on that. Jesus was clear on it.

Mike: So that makes me responsible.

Jeff: Absolutely

Mike: Okay then, you're a Christian counselor and you're talking to someone who has a condition of the heart manifesting itself in some way. What is the role of the Biblical Counselor in helping this individual?

Jeff: The goal of the Biblical Counselor is to help this person to see their problem the way God sees it. So, we have to bring them to the Scriptures, and we have to show them what the Bible says about what they're doing or what they're bound in. Then, we also show them the way out and actually come alongside of them and lead them, through the Word of God, into the way of freedom.

Mike: So, if I'm coming to a Biblical Counselor for help, I should expect that they are going to deal with sin very forthrightly and very frankly. And I'm going to be expected to respond to that, correct?

Jeff: Yes Mike. And I'd like to add, they're going to deal with it lovingly. Because we're not here to beat someone over the head with the Word of God. Jesus loved the woman at the well. He wasn't afraid to point out that she was in sin. But He didn't leave her there. He pointed her to the true source of the living waters, which was Himself.

Mike: Jeff, I know sometimes people look at counseling as if there's some great mystery to it that perhaps only the specially trained or only those who have the secrets can really understand. But when it comes to Biblical Counseling, there really isn't any mystery to what takes place, is there?

Jeff: No Mike, there isn't. Really, what a true Biblical Counselor does is, they roll their sleeves up and get in the mess with the person. That's what Jesus did for us. Then, through the truths of Scripture, they lead that person out of the quagmire that they have been stuck in. As that person learns to apply the Word of God to their situation, the Word of God does what it's supposed to do. It sets that person free. They start realizing that, as they are obedient to God, He will bring about in their life what they thought was impossible. And really, the Biblical Counselor is there to encourage them and admonish them, to come alongside of them and pray with them - to just help them out through the process.

Mike: So really, the biblical counselor is a facilitator of what God wants to do as the person responds to his authority and his direction in the Word of God.

Jeff: Yes.

Mike: Amen. Jeff, thanks for talking to us about the method of our counsel.

Shawn grew up in a decent Christian home. But his teenage life was marked by rebellion, pride, and sexual sin. In college, he had dropped the Christian façade completely—unless it got him something he wanted. So when he met Susan, he used that Christian mask to win her heart.

They got married, and things went alright for a while, until his double life was exposed. But God was faithful. Through Pure Life, God worked in their hearts during the most difficult period of their lives. Today they not only have a joyful marriage, but a passionate love for Jesus.

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What is the foundation of biblical counseling? Jeff Colon gives us a clear look by showing how the Word of God plays a critical role in helping people overcome problems in their lives. He also discusses what is needed in the life of the counselor if he or she is to be effective in helping lead others in the truth.

Mike: Jeff, as we talk today about the foundation of our counsel, I want to start off by asking, what does it really take to be a counselor in this area?

Jeff: Well Mike, we have the answer in the Scriptures. Paul tells us in Galatians 6: 1-2. I'm going to read it out of the amplified, because it really does give a better description of what Paul is saying. Here he says,

"Brethren, if any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness, keeping an attentive eye on yourself, lest you should be tempted also. Bear (endure, carry) one another’s burdens and troublesome moral faults, and in this way fulfill and observe perfectly the law of Christ (the Messiah) and complete what is lacking [in your obedience to it]."

I tell my counselors that you can't take a man where you haven't been yourself spiritually. We believe in training. We all get our degrees in Biblical Counseling. There's a place for training, but simply going to a Bible School and getting an education in learning how to counsel does not qualify you to sit across from a man who's bound in sexual sin and bring him to the Cross and into a new life in Christ. You have to have trodden down that path yourself. You have to know what it's like to be humbled by God and to be broken by God over your own sins. You have to know, in your own life, what it means to submit your will to God and to live your life according to the Word and what God tells us to do in His Word.

Mike: You talk about being spiritual. Can you outline a little more, the specific aspects of what it means to be spiritual and how you carry that into counseling?

Jeff: Sure. Paul talks in Galatians about walking in the Spirit. It's not walking with your head in the clouds - you know, walking in lala land. But, it's a practical, daily walk with God, where you have learned to deny your flesh. You have learned to be obedient to the Word of God and to choose the things of the Spirit such as kindness and gentleness. You are choosing to be long-suffering with people instead of impatient. It's a daily choice of choosing to live out the love of God towards other people and living for God and loving God with our whole heart.

Mike: So, the fruit of the Spirit would be something evident in someone who's qualified to counsel biblically?

Jeff: Absolutely.

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Mike: What is it that makes the counseling here at Pure Life Ministries unique, aside from the fact that the counselors are walking in the Spirit, that they are evidencing spiritual maturity in their lives? What's the other difference?

Jeff: Well the big difference, Mike, is that we adhere wholeheartedly to the Scriptures and we believe that the Scriptures are sufficient for every situation and every problem that a person that comes to us is facing. It says in 2 Timothy 3:16-17,

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

I believe that statement. I believe the scriptures have everything a man needs to be complete in God.

Mike: So, what is it about, I guess we could term it "secular therapies," that are out there? What is it that they're using? They're not using the Word of God, obviously. Is there any help that they're offering people to really deal with their problems?

Jeff: Typically Mike, they might be able to help people understand why they're doing what they're doing. But there's never a concrete way out. There's really no hope. And really, a lot of times they're left with a stigma hanging over their life that they have a disorder or that they're going to be this way the rest of their life and they just have to learn how to cope with it. That's really the best that man can do.

Mike: I guess what we're really talking about here is a process of restoration. Jeff, if you could, talk to us a little bit about that process of restoration and what that looks like.

Jeff: Well the goal in Biblical Counseling is always Christ-likeness. What I mean by that is thinking and acting biblically. And the Scripture I read to you earlier really does lay out what you want to help a man to do in the restoration process. First of all, doctrine will help the man see things from God's perspective. We have to base our problems and what we're dealing with on the Word of God, because the Word of God gives us a way out. God never identifies a problem without giving us a way out. Doctrine helps us to understand who God is and how He sees us. It reveals our relationship with Him, our purpose in life, how the kingdom of God works. And we all need an understanding because without the Word of God, we really don't have an understanding of the things of God. So, it's very important to help a man to start seeing things from God's perspective through His Word. Then you want to reprove them. You want to help them see where they're in error, where they're missing the mark, as it were. And the Word of God is profitable to do that. It points out things in their lives such as the way they're reacting to different situations. I always think of the example of Cain when he failed in his sacrifice. It says his countenance fell. And God explained to him what he needed to do. He corrected and reproved Cain and said, "If you do right, will not your countenance be lifted?" And He even explained what would happen if Cain didn't do it. So, the Word of God helps us to see where we've been in error, but it also corrects us and helps us to know what we can do to correct the problem.

Mike: As you're talking about that, I'm just comparing that in my mind with secular counseling, especially psychotherapy where everything is so gray and so variable. With that method, it's all based on feelings about the problem. And there just isn't any hope in that. There's no clear direction. There's no clear definition of the problem. But in God's Word, it's very clearly defined. And what a joyous hope there is in that. That God doesn't just leave us to figure it out.

Jeff: I can't tell you how many times I've had a guy sitting across the table from me that has spent years going to clinics, going to a psychiatrist or a psychologist and reading books or watching videos, going away for weekend retreats that when he is finally given the simple truths of the Bible and he sees his problem the way God sees it, and sees the way out, it's like a light goes on and all of a sudden there's hope. Now they know, there's a way out.

Mike: Wow, that's got to be encouraging for you as a counselor to see.

Jeff: Oh, it is.

Mike: As a counselor, obviously you deal with men who you know are either slow to come around, or they just have got a hard heart. You just know when you talk to them, it's just going to take longer for this guy. But how often do you deal with a guy that's just very difficult to counsel, and how do you deal with that as a counselor?

Jeff: Well I think a lot of the time, it is difficult. It's never easy confronting somebody's flesh. And people usually don't like their flesh getting confronted or having their wills crossed, but you have to realize that God bears us. He's been long-suffering. When I look at my own life, I can see how long-suffering God has been with me. I can't tell you how many times I rebelled against God, and I was hard-hearted and stubborn and dug my heels in. I have to understand that this guy I'm counseling is just starting out. I have to be willing to roll up my sleeves and enter into their situation with compassion. If you haven't walked that out yourself, you're not going to have compassion, you’re just going to be one of those people that throw out Bible verses and beat them over the head with your Bible. But if you understand how Jesus bore you and got you to where you're at, then you're willing to roll your sleeves up and tough it out with this guy through the hard times. And you understand, it's going to be a process.

Satan is an incredibly crafty foe. He can convince multitudes that, though they have ongoing sin in their life, their work in ministry or church attendance means they are living according to God's will. Tragically, hundreds of thousands are living like this, professing Christianity but enslaved to sin. If this describes you, know that it doesn't have to stay this way. In this segment, we talk with Biblical Counselor Luke Imperato about how we can start living wholly in God's will instead of Satan's.

Anyone who has been in sexual sin for a long time, has had to keep their private lives covered with a lot of lies. They have lied to their families and friends. They have lied to their churches, pretending that everything is ok with them spiritually.

They also lie to themselves, saying that God understands, that the rules don’t apply to them. But the worst lie they have told is to Jesus. They say they love him and are following him, but they refuse to follow His commands. In this episode, we discuss the false religion that tempts all of us.

It’s easy to get discouraged if you’ve been stuck in sexual sin a long time. You may really want to stop, but you’ve tried everything you can think of to get free and yet, nothing works. Maybe you’re thinking, “This is hopeless. I’ll never be free.” If you’ve been thinking along these lines, you’ve fallen prey to self-pity, just another one of Satan’s schemes to keep people away from true repentance, faith and salvation. It’s an easy trap to fall into. In this episode, we look at how to know if you’re in self-pity, how to avoid it, and how to get out of it.