Biblical Counselor Jim Lewis discusses the common teachings espoused by many deliverance ministries, and why an experience of deliverance is seldom all that is needed for a man to gain freedom from sexual sin. Our experience has taught us that God is after much more than this one issue. (From #356 - What Role Does Deliverance Play in Freedom from Porn?)

In today’s episode we are asking the question, “What role does deliverance play in a man gaining freedom from pornography and sexual sin?” And even the mention of the word ‘deliverance’ conjures up all sorts of images in people’s minds. Obviously, if we are talking about deliverance, we are assuming that there is something from which a man must be rescued, and that something is demonic influence.

When you listen to the other segments in this podcast, you should be convinced that here at Pure Life, we take very literally and seriously what the Scripture teaches about the nature and work of our enemy the devil, and his demonic hordes. We have an adversary who aims to steal, kill and destroy, and we are called on in Scripture to resist him, and to engage in spiritual warfare. The activity of his hosts of darkness is no less real today than when Jesus walked the earth, and the Gospels abound with accounts of Him delivering men and women from their clutches.

And so people who share this biblical view want to know, do we believe that men in sexual sin need deliverance from demonic possession? Our answer to that question is an unequivocal “yes!” Of course we do. Men in sexual sin have opened wide the door to demonic activity in their lives and desperately need deliverance. Let me share our perspective on this, and how it might be different than some other voices on the subject.

Many people believe that there are demons of lust, that that is their particular assignment and weapon, and that viewing pornography or engaging in sinful sexual behaviors “opens the door” to their activity. Some even use the term that the demons now have “a legal right” to harass and oppress. In effect, we have granted them permission to attack us. And many, it seems, teach that there is a specific ministry of deliverance that one should take advantage of. This ministry often includes prayers designed to gain freedom by binding and loosing demons, casting them out, canceling generational curses, renouncing soul ties, and that these prayers will set the prisoner free.  

Many a soul has been told that the reason they are tempted in the area of sexual sin, the reason they struggle, or are even addicted, is because they have this demon. The demon is the problem, and if they are delivered from the demon, then they won’t struggle anymore. A common side-effect of this teaching is that the sinner now has someone else to blame for his own choices, and his sinful behavior.

The internet is littered with sites offering deliverance prayers that promise you that if you pray these words, there is power in the words themselves to set you free. Now every Christian should believe in the power of prayer, in the need for faith in God, and in the promises of Scripture that God desires that we ask, seek and knock. Jesus told us to pray in faith. But prayer should never be reduced to seeking a “magic formula,” or a “Christian incantation” designed to render the desired effect.  

There is a whole segment of Christian teaching that deals with the area of deliverance, and it seems to be built on a few isolated texts, pulled out of context to create a theology and a methodology of deliverance. If you say these words, or if you can find an anointed person who is a trained practitioner in deliverance, and if you do these specific things, then you will be delivered. That’s what’s out there. Let me just say, that this has never been our experience. A great many of the men who have passed through Pure Life in the last thirty years went the deliverance route first, with great faith and desire, only to come to us for help in the end.

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Now, I hear a listener saying, “So, is the work of the enemy in sexual sin really that small a deal? Because, I really feel completely bound. I know what it’s like to have an overwhelming temptation come upon me, and I feel as if I have no power to resist it. If only I could be delivered from those temptations, I would be fine. Are you saying there’s no need for deliverance?” NO, that’s not what we’re saying.

We absolutely believe that the Enemy has real power over people’s lives. As I said before, his influence is just as real today as it has ever been. What we’re saying is that someone does not need an ‘experience’ of being delivered from a demon. It’s just not that simple.

I know that for the man who is bound by sexual sin, this problem seems insurmountable. It is bigger than you, and if you could get free on your own, you would have done it by now. You need a great deal of help. But we want you to see that God is after so much more in you than just getting rid of your sexual sin. The problem is actually bigger than you thought. That’s why we have been doing this series of podcasts, because it takes more than just a deliverance prayer.

God wants to build your faith. God wants to show you your sin, and make you take responsibility for it, and stop blaming everyone else for your own choices. In other words, He wants to lead you into real repentance. He wants to teach you how to turn from your sin. And He’s after far more than your sexual sin. He wants to root out your anger, fear, anxiety, unbelief, hatred, bitterness, and apathy, He wants to teach you to humble yourself and come way down in your pride. He wants to teach you how to fight and to resist temptation when it comes. He wants to teach you real and complete surrender to His will and submission to His reign over your life. He wants to lead you into biblical consecration, the offering of your life as a living sacrifice. And He wants to lead you into the pursuit of holiness, what the Bible calls our sanctification. This is what God is after in the life of every believer, and not just freedom from one or several life-dominating sinful habits. He doesn’t just want your sexual sin, He wants the transformation of your entire life.

The Apostle Peter wrote, ‘Be sober, be vigilant! Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering is required of your brotherhood throughout the world.” This world is not a playground, but a battleground, and every Christian should remain in the fight. But we are also reminded by John that “greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.”

Kathy Gallagher shares her testimony of how God began to do a work of repentance in her some 40 years ago, and how that ongoing process is still happening every day of her life.

There is a deeper work of repentance that God wants to do in our lives, and that deeper repentance is necessary for an overcoming life of freedom.  (From #355 - What Role Does Repentance Play in Freedom from Porn?)

Jim: I'm joined in the studio today by Kathy Gallagher, and she is co-founder of Pure Life Ministries and for many years was Director of our Wives Program. Welcome Kathy.

Kathy: Thanks, Jim. Good to be here.

Jim: We're here today to talk about the subject of repentance. Now, when we read the New Testament, we see a strong emphasis laid there on the need for repentance from sin when a person comes to Christ. And even though that is seldom preached in church anymore, it is still the clear teaching of Scripture. Describe for me, if you will, in general terms, what this repentance usually looks like in the life of a new believer.

Kathy: Well, we've had lots of experience around here watching people come into repentance, and in my own life, it's just coming to the realization, in simple terms, that I'm a sinner, and I am in trouble and I need help. And I think people just recognizing that they are separated from God, and there's some desire, something inside a soul that knows they're wrong, but they want to get right. That's very simple, in general.

Jim: So when you came into repentance, what did that look like for you?

Kathy: It was kind of a month’s-long process for me, just an inward disturbance, I would call it. And I knew that I was in trouble spiritually, but I didn't know what any of that stuff meant. I didn't know about sin. I didn't know about repentance. I didn't know anything, but what I did know there was just, inside I knew that if I died, I would go to hell. I don't know why those terms even came into my mind, because I wasn't raised in the church. I didn't know any of these things, but there was just this terrible disturbance inside that I was not right, and eventually, after months of being tortured by this thought — conviction — I was just under tremendous conviction. Of course, I didn't know what that meant, but I just wanted relief from it. I wanted to get right. I was tired of being afraid that God was going to step on me or something. It was terrible. I was living in just absolute torment, but gratefully, I was put in a position to actually deal with my sin issue. Again, I didn't know that I had a sin issue, or what that even really meant, but it was a Baptist pastor who sat me down and he was telling me what the Scriptures said about sin, and that my sins could be washed away, and that I could be made clean, and I jumped all over that, because I knew in my heart that was the issue. And I repented of my sins, August 1, 1979, sitting in my sister's dining room table with a Baptist pastor I'd never met before, and I walked away a new creature, and that was my entrance into the kingdom of God.

Jim: Kathy you said that you repented of your sins. Just for clarification, there are many people who confuse confessing their sins — agreeing with God, saying it out loud — and repenting of those sins. Would you describe for us the difference as you understand it?

Kathy: Well, yeah, confessing is saying, you're agreeing, admitting that you're a sinner. Repentance is turning from that sin and turning from that life, and they’re two totally different things. And you shouldn't confuse one with the other. Yes, we are supposed to confess our sins, that's the beginning, but repentance, real biblical repentance, is turning away from self. Ultimately, that's what it is, turning away from those behaviors, that lifestyle.

Jim: At our annual conference earlier this year, a theme began to emerge that we believe the Holy Spirit was teaching us, that He was calling us to a deeper repentance. Now, when you hear that, that there is a call from God to a deeper repentance, what does that mean to you?

Kathy: Well, I believe, I think this is true, that a lot of Christians think that once you've had that initial “come into the kingdom” experience, that that is it, you did repent. I repented when I got saved, but I believe, and this is been my experience for 40 years as a Christian, and many other saints that I'm close to have had the same experience, that it's a daily thing. It is me submitting myself to a holy God and inviting Him to come and keep cleaning, keep dealing with me, keep showing me, because I know that I have a fallen sinful nature, and that nature did not disappear at salvation. It is still with me, and I know if anybody is honest with themselves, you sin, we sin in life. We say the wrong things, we do the wrong things, we crave the wrong things, and because of that, at least for me, I have constantly asked the Lord for forgiveness and I turn away from known sins. I will, if I sin, for example, if I say something ugly to someone, I will go to that person, I will repent to that person, in tears usually, and I repent to the Lord. So repentance is a lifestyle. It is for me, and we definitely teach that here at Pure Life Ministries, because it is a foundation stone of the Christian life.

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Jim: As God deals with you and you examine your own heart, what are some of the underlying sins of the heart and the disposition, that God calls a Christian to deal with and then turn from?

Kathy: Well, there's a myriad. Where do you begin? In my own life, I'll use my own life as an example, just again, it's attitudes of the heart. For a lot of people, there's anger, there's bitterness, there's covetousness, idolatry, sexual lust, fantasy; there's stuff in us that is contrary to who God is, and we're supposedly being conformed to His image, and so it's not just like sexual sins, or the big sins, you know: we don't smoke, we don't drink, we don't fornicate, that's the evangelical list of do's and don'ts. But I believe, in God's kingdom, it's attitudes of the heart, that can be all kinds of stuff. And attitudes, and hatred, and lust, and bitterness, wrath, anger, malice. I mean, in the New Testament there are several lists, especially from Paul, that he lists out of Christian life behaviors that we should try to attain to, and ungodly things that we should abstain from, repent of and turn away from. So it's like, there is stuff inside of us and it's not just the evangelical list, it is heart attitudes, and I know, for me personally, that I didn't have big outward sins, necessarily. In my journey with the Lord, He's had to go after heart attitudes in me, because that's where my sins reside at, they are residing in my heart; things that people cannot see but God sees. God knows who I am. He's got my address and He goes after those things.

Jim: So, for the man who's listening, who has tuned in because he deals with sexual sin, he might say, “Well, I'm not looking at pornography any more. I'm not engaged in this kind of sexual sin anymore, but what I hear you saying is if he still has anger in his heart if he still is dealing with fear, if he is still a critical judgmental spirit, if he has unbelief, they're just as repugnant to God as any outward manifestation of sexual sins.

Kathy: That's right, yeah. And I don't think God measures one sin from another. I think the difference for us as human beings, looking at sin, for example a wife looking at her husband's sexual sin, would consider that the most heinous crime on the planet. But God doesn't see it like that. It's all separating us from Him, all of these things, and it's all contrary to the life of a Christian. I know, and I’m pretty strong about this, it is the attitudes of the heart that God is going after. It's the sins of the heart that God's going after, so you may not be in sexual sin anymore, but if you are angry, bitter, critical, all of things that you just mentioned, Jim, if you're in that, those are undealt with sins that need to be dealt with, because all of that all those openings; I'll just say it that way, I consider those things openings, it's like a pathway into sin again; that's where it's going to take you because it's unconquered, undealt with, and that's the whole idea of daily repentance. I start off my time with the Lord repenting even if I don't have anything specifically. I want to clear the garbage out and have a clear communication with my Abba, and the only way I know to do that is to repent of myself, and then I can enter into His presence.

Jim: Well you just said daily repentance and that should lead someone to conclude that there's not just repentance at the beginning of the Christian life. It's ongoing and even in the deeper repentance, it's not a ‘one and done’ thing. “I repented of my anger.” We may have to repent of our anger many times throughout our lives.

Kathy: So true, so true. How many times have I had to repent to the Lord for my fear, or for critical spirit, and those things that don't seem like a big deal to some people, those are the things that God has just gone after in me, and I'm so grateful to Him for it; but it is a painful process, and I think we get tired of it, we get tired of, how do you say it? I'll say it this way: you get tired of being dealt with. You get tired of seeing yourself. But the brokenness that comes through letting God show you, instead of ignoring it and pushing it aside, let Him shove it in your face, so to speak. Although He's a merciful and patient Father, He will still discipline you and correct you, and that is such a gift. I'm so grateful that the Lord does that, and I'm grateful for the brokenness that He's brought into my life, showing me what I am. I have long since given up any idea that I'm good, I know I'm not good, and if you have this attitude inside that you're good with God, that, to me, is a red flag that something's really off and you need to go back to square one and start over,  and really get before the Father and find out, because we're not good, we're never going to be good, and that's why I love the gift of repentance and why I love brokenness before my Father. He loves it. He loves a broken and contrite heart.

Jim: We just can't walk before Him without His grace, can we?

Kathy: That's right, that's right. We have to have Him.

Jim: Well, as we wrap up here today, what would you say to our listeners to encourage them to engage in this ongoing process of seeking a deeper repentance?

Kathy: Pray. Just go before Abba. I call him Abba every morning He's my Abba, my daddy, my father. And I ask, “show me, Lord, search me, search my heart and know my ways and reveal to me if there's any evil thing in me, and He does. And He's faithful and He's good. When God shows me, I don't feel beat up. I don't feel rejected. I feel loved, because it's coming from a loving Father who cares deeply about me.

Jim: Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience and for teaching us about the deeper repentance today.

Kathy: My pleasure, Jim. Thank you.

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In part 5 of our current series, we example the biblical foundation for worship and the Lord's desire that we worship Him.

We explain how we do worship at PLM, and discuss how God uses worship to transform men's lives and set them free from sin.

“Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil.” (Jeremiah 13:23)

Because of the people’s persistence in sin, the Lord spoke through the prophet Jeremiah…can the Ethiopian change his skin that is by nature black, or the Leopard his spots? The Israelites had served an apprenticeship to evil. They had been long accustomed to sin and had shaken off all restraints. Their consciences had been seared, and the habits of sin had been thoroughly entrenched.

How true this is for the men who come to us for help.

Four verses later, the Lord spoke again through Jeremiah, “I have seen your adulteries and your lustful neighings, the lewdness of your harlotry, your abominations on the hills in the fields. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! Will you still not be made clean?” (Jeremiah 13:27) Amazingly, the Lord’s offer of forgiveness and transformation still awaited them if they would only repent and be willing to change.

I can think back on many situations when a hopeless counselee sat in front of my desk, despondent and bemoaning, “I’ll never change” or “I’ve always been this way.” In fact, I once sat in that same chair, thinking the same thoughts, being bound for so many years in my own sin. Now having been set free for almost twenty years, those words don’t hold much water with me.

If we are going to begin this journey to experience God’s transforming power working in our lives, however, we must first understand that we are creatures of habit.

God Made Us Creatures of Habits

My first time behind the wheel of a car, I braved my way onto what we call in New York the Southern State Parkway. The car I was driving seemed as though it was two lanes wide. Fixated on the speedometer, mindful of all the floor pedals, and overcome with everything I had to do, I strained to keep this massive piece of machinery from lurching totally out of control. It was quite an experience to say the least.

Many driving experiences later, I could cruise down 5th Avenue in New York City, cabs darting here and there, an egg sandwich in my hand, coffee between my legs, shifting gears, navigating between the obstacles, not even thinking about what I was doing. How did that happen?

God gave man a marvelous capacity called habit. Whenever we do something long enough, it becomes part of us, or like second nature to us. It becomes an unconscious pattern. We perform highly complex behaviors without even thinking about them. It really is a gift from God. Imagine if you had to think through every little detail of what you do.

Here’s the problem. We are born with a sin nature, bent on pursuing sinful behaviors. Many of us have given over habitually to sin, to where it has become part of us. The Bible talks about a heart that has been trained in covetousness, one that has faithfully practiced coveting so much so that it has become second nature to do it. We sometimes look at what we have become and ask ourselves, how did this happen to me? My answer to you would be, by much practice.

So here now is the good news…it works both ways. We can’t avoid habitual living, but we can apply it to do what God tells us to do in His Word to where godliness becomes natural to us. Paul tells us to discipline ourselves for godliness. (1Timothy 4:7)

We Can Practice Godly Habits

Next, we must understand how to develop new godly habits. Consider Ephesians 4:22-24 which commands that we “put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.” The process of change is begun by putting off sin and putting on godliness.

Just because we stop doing something doesn’t mean we have changed. A thief isn’t a thief anymore just because he isn’t stealing. He’s just a thief who isn’t stealing at the moment. Given the right circumstances and pressure, he is likely to revert back to his old habits. To commit to real change he must go out and get a job, and learn how to become a giver of what he has instead of being a taker.

As we obey God’s Word in this way, the Holy Spirit promises to “renew our mind,” the final and most decisive step in the journey of change. Over time, He will “renew” the way we think, what we think about, and, in fact, even what we desire. A proper word for all of this is sanctification, the process by which the Holy Spirit transforms our sin nature into Jesus’ glorious nature. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

Developing New Habits Take Time

The problem a lot of us have with this process is that it takes time and perseverance. My advice to you is don’t grow weary while doing good, for in due season you will reap if you don’t lose heart. (Galatians 6:9)

Allow me to share an illustration. A stone cutter hammers away at a rock. He might hit the rock a hundred times without so much as a crack showing. Then suddenly, at the 101st blow the rock splits in two. Was it the one blow that split the rock? Only in an immediate sense, as that one blow would have accomplished nothing if it were not for all that had gone before.

For some of you, sin is like a massive rock that blocks any growth you might otherwise have in the Lord. It seems impossible to break or even move. But the Lord promises a breakthrough and a renewing of our mind if we will only keep going.

Change is hard and takes endurance. Hebrews 10:36 says, “For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.”

I know how it feels to be bound to the old man. Sin had become an unbreakable rock and an immovable mountain in my own life. But now, it fills my heart with thanksgiving and joy to proclaim from the mountaintops that there is an almighty grace that is able to change the leopard’s spots. And that grace is available to anyone who sees their need and seeks it earnestly through prayer and repentance.

The same prophet Jeremiah declares, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You.” (Jeremiah 32:17) Jesus Himself assures us, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)

Hallelujah! That’s not just hype; it’s the reality of what Jesus accomplished on Calvary for all who are bound in sin. Be encouraged, beloved, God is in the business of changing people.

When we talk about the need for brokenness in order to escape from the grip of sexual sin, it is important to understand brokenness from a biblical perspective and not from a worldly or psychological point of view.

What is brokenness and where does it come from? Should Christians seek brokenness as a means of getting closer to the Lord and overcoming life-dominating sin? Or is brokenness an unfortunate side effect of upbringing and environment? Jim Lewis shares the biblical perspective. (From #354 - What Role Does Brokenness Play in Freedom from Porn?")

Read any journal or blog article written from a psychological perspective on the subject of brokenness, and the writer will offer sympathetic words about the pervasive nature of struggle, grief, depression, and how emotional pain afflicts seemingly every soul. After all, they will say, “we are all broken.”

And when people in general, even those in the psychologized culture of today’s church, speak of their own brokenness, they speak of it in one of the following ways:

Some speak of brokenness as the result of being sinned against. “I was sexually abused as a child, and that left me scarred and broken.”

And others use the word broken to describe having to endure great suffering or grief.  “The loss of both of his parents in the accident made him a broken man.”

As a biblical counseling ministry for men in sexual sin, we see more than our share of this kind of brokenness. We see men who have been terribly abused, who have been greatly sinned against, who have suffered much and experienced the pain of loss and grief. And we help these men deal with many of these issues by applying the comforting balm of the Word of God to their hearts and trusting it will be applied to them by the Spirit of God, Whom Jesus called the Comforter.

But many others use the term brokenness to explain the reason why they sin. They say something like “In my brokenness from feeling abandoned by my father, I pursued pornography and self-gratification.” According to this line of thinking, sinful attitudes and actions against God are conceded as permissible, even unavoidable, because something happened to them which needs fixing.

So why are we suggesting in this show that brokenness is a key element in finding freedom from pornography and other sexual sin? It’s really quite simple: When the Bible speaks of brokenness, it means something entirely different than the examples I already gave. Biblical brokenness is something to be pursued, not avoided. Something to be embraced, and not something from which you need healing. Something that brings freedom from sin, not enslavement to it. Biblical brokenness is a good thing, and will do you good.

Listen to the way David speaks of brokenness in Psalm 51:16-17

For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it;

You are not pleased with burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

In this psalm, King David has come to grips with the horror of his sins of adultery and murder. And in this light, David confesses that what would please God most is if David had a broken spirit. He didn’t sin because he was broken. He sinned because he wasn’t. This admission is baffling, maybe even abhorrent to those who have been schooled in the thinking of psychology.

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Let’s also look at Psalm 34:18:

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34 is a psalm that celebrates that God has come to David’s rescue, and saved him from a perilous situation. In it he reflects on those whom the Lord watches, whom He regards, whom He rescues. He describes the righteous as those who are brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. The righteous are those who seek the Lord, cry out to the Lord, and take refuge in the Lord. The righteous are not those who are strong in themselves, but who have no strength. They are humble, meek and poor in spirit. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him.

The Bible clearly shows us that God both desires brokenness and rewards broken people with the wonder of His presence and the power of His deliverance.

But why?

Because pride is the base sin behind every other sin. Every sin is an act of rebellion against God, and so every sin is an act born in pride. Pride is what keeps us from seeing our need for God and coming to Him for help and salvation. God can only do work in the life of the humble, because only the humble will see his need and ask for help. The Bible says that “God stands opposed to the proud but give grace to the humble.”

It was pride that caused David to lust after a woman, pride to think he could have another man’s wife; pride to think he would get away with it. When Bathsheba sent word to him that she was expecting his child, it was pride that kept him scheming, seeking to cover his tracks, and pride that gave him permission to have her husband cut down and killed on the battlefield.

His pride only finally broke under the conviction of God when the prophet told him that his sin was known, that it was repugnant to God, and that it would cost him the life of his infant son. His brokenness in Psalm 51 is not the brokenness of being sinned against, or of loss, or of suffering. His brokenness is the great coming down of his pride.

Men come to Pure Life after years and decades in secret sexual sin. We know that they come to us overflowing in pride because we arrived here the same way. In proud rebellion against God we pursued our sin and the more we sinned the prouder we became, until we reeked of it. Then our sin started to pay its wages, and our lives began to unravel. We came here for the Lord to rescue us.

And How did he do it? In many ways, the most important of which was that we had to come way, way down in our pride, and we had to come into brokenness. Our brokenness made us open to His work. Our brokenness led to real repentance. And our brokenness allowed God to really get to work in our lives.

It is this repentance from pride and coming into humility that makes us pleasing to God. When we see our sins as a grievous offense to the heart of a holy God, we ought to be humbled. When we see ourselves as totally depraved and helpless without Him, desperately in need of a Savior, we ought to be humbled. Jesus declared that happy and blessed are the poor in spirit and those who mourn. He comforts those who come way down in their pride and blesses their lives. Coming down in our sinful pride, coming into humility and real brokenness is a major key to finally getting free from addiction to porn.

In part 4 of our current series, we look at the role deliverance plays in gaining freedom from porn.

We discuss various aspects of our war against the Enemy, and his various strategies to defeat us. We see that God wants to deliver us, but He is after so much more than just our sexual sin. He wants our whole lives.

Ken Larkin is a biblical counselor at Pure Life Ministries. In this recent interview, he explored from the Scripture the story of a woman with a great need, and discussed how she sought out Jesus for healing.

Ken showed how this relates to the man in sexual sin, and his need for prayer, desperation, and sincere faith to overcome life-dominating affliction. (From #353 - What Role Does Faith Play in Freedom from Porn?")

Jim: Ken Larkin is a biblical counselor here at Pure Life Ministries and he's joined us in the studio today to discuss the vital importance of prayer, and specifically the need of the man who is locked in sexual sin to never stop praying, never stop seeking the Lord, and never stop reaching out for freedom. Ken, thank you for joining us here today.

Ken: Pleasure to be here, Jim.  

Jim: Ken, some time ago Steve Gallagher was heard to quote a Christian therapist who had said, “the worst thing you can do with people involved in pornography is lecture them about praying more and asking God for help. They've already done that, often to the point of despair.” And Pastor Steve referred to his words as ‘blasphemous,’ because this Christian therapist went on to assert that the only real hope for sexual addiction could be found through psychotherapy. He was clearly inferring that God is not trustworthy. You can cry out to him until you're blue in the face, and nothing is going to happen. So, let's start right there. From your many years of counseling men in sexual sin, how important is it to pray and pray and not give up? How important is it to cry out to the Lord for help?

Ken: Well, Jim, I would say indispensable. The only way that God has really prescribed anyone to be set free from sin is through His Son Jesus Christ, and Jesus Himself said, “Ask, seek, and knock.” The remedy is to cry out to God in faith, knowing and believing that He can deliver you from your sin, and not to stop crying until you get that help that you need. There's a scripture, Hebrews 4:15-16. “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who is tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace so that we may receive mercy in fine grace to help in time of need.” And I see that, really, as a huge invitation from the Lord for anyone that needs help, that we can come to his throne; and I love the way he coupled that word mercy with grace. God, in your condition, will give you mercy that you don't deserve, and forgive you of your sin as you’re repenting of it, but He's also going to give you the grace to help in time of need; the grace to overcome that very sin that you're crying out to be delivered from.

Jim: And so we can come to God with an attitude of confident expectation, not demanding as though he owes it, and not begging as though he were unwilling, but I like the old word beseeching; and that is humbly and even desperately seeking, but knowing that He hears and intends to answer us. Do you see this attitude in the man who comes into breakthroughs in our Residential Program?

Ken: Absolutely and I would say that is the one thing that would define the difference between those who really get deliverance while they're here and the ones that don't. They've already tried all their own resources before coming here. So the only help that they possibly have is to cry out to God until He delivers; and He alone can deliver and He will deliver everyone who asks Him in the name of his Son.

Jim: Ken, I want to turn to a very familiar story found in the scripture. It's in Mark 5, and here we find the story of the woman with the issue of blood. Tell us what you can about her desperate situation.

Ken: Well Jim, she had had this issue of blood for 12 years, and with that there was a social stigma according to Jewish customs of the day. She would have been ceremonially unclean, what we would call an untouchable today. And a lot of people equate that with sexual sin. No one wants to touch these people. And she was desperate, and she had tried every human resource. She went to the experts, the doctors, and she really spent everything she had to try to get the help that she needed, that physical healing, and nothing helped. So she was in this dilemma, where she'd done everything she could and probably running out of hope, that there really was no answer for her.

Jim: Ken, in your own personal experience, can you relate to this woman? Had you sought help from many sources before finally getting free through faith in Jesus?

Ken: I did. I went to worldly wisdom. I was the self-help type guy, too ashamed in a lot of ways to reach out for help, go into a counselor or anything like that. But I did all that anyway because I did it through human wisdom, through books, different self-help type things, trying to get myself out of this. And there was nothing that would deliver me. I remember when I applied for the program, the director asked me, “Why do you want to come here?” And I said “if anything else was going to work it would have already happened,” so I knew that only the Lord could ultimately set me free.

Jim: So getting back to our story, one day this woman heard that Jesus of Nazareth was in town. And she decided that she would do what she could to get to Him. Can you tell us what happened when she went out that day in search of healing?

Ken: Well she went out and there was a huge crowd around Jesus, and probably weakened from her condition of having this ailment for years, it was seemingly impossible that she could actually get through that crowd to touch Jesus, but she knew that she was in desperation and she knew her only hope was in Jesus. “If I could just touch the hem of his garment, I will be healed.” So she was determined to press through the crowd and get ahold of Him while she could, while He was passing her way.

Jim: Ken, you mentioned the word desperation. Here at Pure Life, we pray that God will send us desperate men who are desperate for real change. How important is this desperation?

Ken: It's indispensable, because ultimately only God can set a person free. And if they're not desperate, they're not going to be willing to cry out to God until that happens. We all want a quick fix, take a magic pill and everything's going to be fine. But God, in sexual sin, usually doesn't work that way. It's through a process of deliverance and it's only through crying out to God consistently and learning to submit yourself to Him, He gives you that direction in your life. Because He does lay out a path for freedom in His word, but it's only by His grace that we can walk into freedom. So it's indispensable. I would say definitely that's one of the most important ingredients for anyone who is truly seeking the be free, to have their faith in God in the desperation just like this woman. “I must touch the hem of His garment to be made whole, and I'm not going to stop until that happens.”

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Jim: The other key word that you just mentioned was faith. Tell me, Ken, in your experience as a counselor, how important is a man's faith to him finally gaining freedom?

Ken: It's very important because only God can set you free. But faith is that spiritual thing, if you will, that links you to the power of God. And there's two ingredients that I would say are indispensable for someone seeking help from the Lord. Number one, to believe that God is really that good and merciful and willing that He wants to set the sinner free, He wants to deliver the sexual sinner. But the other thing is that He has the power and the ability to do it, and those coupled together is that faith that has a confident assurance that, not only am I crying out to God, maybe my situation is desperate, but I'm not hopeless because God is going to hear me when I cry out to Him.

Jim: Now even though we might already know it, finish the story for us. What happened with this woman when she reached out to touch Jesus?

Ken: Well she was able to reach out and touch the hem of Jesus' garment. And really, it seemed like, considering her situation in a crowd, how was she going to get through to Jesus? So the beautiful thing about this story is, I believe, even the grace of God enabled her on a journey to make that connection with the Lord. And she was able to reach out and touch the hem of His garment. And just like she believed, as soon as she touched Him, the healing power of God went through her to completely eradicate, completely set her free from this physical ailment, destroy it from the roots up, what no human invention, what no doctor could do for her, Jesus did that day.

Jim: Every story in Scripture has a meaning and it has an application. Speaking directly to the man who is listening to us today, the man who has tried many things only still to be stuck in his sin, what would you say to him today about faith, desperation, and seeking a touch from the Lord?

Ken: Well this scripture is an excellent example of the type of qualities that are going to be important for anyone seeking freedom. And taking the example of this woman, she was persistent and she had faith, knowing they God could and would deliver her if she could just get ahold of Him, and having that same desperation. You might feel like her; you might feel unclean spiritually because of your sexual sin, she was unclean physically, but the same God who was able to cleanse her and deliver her from this physical ailment can do it for you. But you have to cry out in faith and believe that God wants to do it and He will do it and keep crying out till it happens. That's the desperation we need. Not a hopelessness that there's no hope (maybe God might answer my prayer) but a desperation that I have to be delivered I have to be set free and Jesus will do it as you cry out to Him and don't stop until you get that deliverance and you get the freedom that you're asking for.

Jim: Ken as we wrap up today I wonder if in your own personal experience you found that having persistence, that having a faith that just wouldn't quit that the practice of crying out and crying out is what made all the difference in your freedom and in your deliverance from the Lord

Ken: Yes, what I would say Jim, is in my life I had tried to be free of decades of sexual sin, trying to be free, trying to do all the right things, but it wasn't until I really began to cry out to the Lord that I started seeing something happen. And it was a continuous thing; it wasn't like I just cried out to the Lord once and I was free. God kept working in my life until finally one day I looked back and I was free. I wasn't – my life was no longer dominated by this, so I can say that it was the prayer, it was the crying out to God; it was believing God wanted to, was willing and He was able to set me free. And as I cried out to Him persistently, God did that in my life. I got desperate enough to ask and God answered that prayer in a bigger way than I could have hoped for. And today I'm in freedom that I at one time I thought I would never ever experience.

Jim: Thank you, Ken, for your counsel, for your work on behalf of men in sexual sin. Thank you for your words here today.

Ken: Thank you, Jim.

“I just wish my life could be worse than it is. If only it were full of curses!” There is not a single person who would ever say this, because since man’s departure from the Garden of Eden the deep longing in every soul (whether it is acknowledged or not) is to be free of the consequences of Adam and Eve’s disobedience.

This fallen world presents us with trials and tribulations of all sorts. While some of it comes from life’s natural difficulties, other sufferings stem from our own sin coming back on us. To numb the pain and misery many often turn to the carnal enticements the devil offers, with pornography being the most pervasive inoculation. But constantly turning to demonic sources only brings on more pain and more misery and more need for medicating.

This is NOT God’s prescription for his child.

He desires to bless and be a blessing to His people. Jeremiah 29:11, 13 (NLT) says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope…If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.’” However, this does not negate the Lord’s disapproval of sin as “…He will by no means excuse the guilty.” (Exodus 34:7, NASB). This demonstrates the God-designed principle of sowing and reaping.

So, what does this mean for the Christian in the battle against porn addiction? How does one exit the cycle of curses and get onto the path of God’s blessings? There is no fast-track. It is a lifestyle of obedience taken one step at a time.

As you watch this video you will hear Steve Gallagher explain how a lifestyle of obedience brought upon him God’s blessings and ultimately into lasting freedom from pornography.

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For many Christians in the grip of pornography, they have little to no hope that they will ever see the day when they will be free. Why should they when their track record shows nothing but continual failure? Hopelessness, despair, and misery seem to be all that lie ahead.

These kinds of characterizations constantly inundate the struggling addict. They do not originate from the throne of mercy and grace, but from the throne of cruelty and hate. What is the enemy’s purpose in filling the Christian’s mind with such gloomy deceits? The aim is the destruction of the believer’s faith in the concrete truths found in Scripture. The devil knows full well that faith and freedom go hand-in-hand.

Contrary to the powers of darkness, God’s desire is to build faith in His people. The Bible includes many promises that are meant to inspire the child of God to walk in faith and to believe what he is reading. Isaiah 49:23 (NLT) says, “Those who trust in me will never be put to shame.” The ultimate promise for the believer is freedom from sin because of Christ’s death on the cross. John 8:36 (NSAB) says, “So if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

Do you believe that? This is no mere self-esteem exercise to will you into victorious living. Christ’s spilled blood and His miraculous resurrection are the down payments for your freedom. What follows next are your footsteps in the direction of victory and away from sin.

Steve Gallagher expounds on this foundational aspect of the Christian’s life, explains the believer’s role in faith, and how God used it to help him win the battle with porn addiction. Also, Steve shares a key practice from his own life that you can apply as well to strengthen your faith.

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In your fight against pornography, you’ve been able to stack a few days or even weeks of victory together. You feel like you’ve got your life on track with the Lord, your family, and your church. Then comes a string of temptations that catch you off guard and you give in. Sound familiar?

Besides the addiction itself, if there is one thing that all Christians in sexual sin face when straining for victory, it’s failure. Sometimes it seems as if you have tried every imaginable strategy; books, accountability groups, and Scripture memorization. You have experienced some freedom applying these measures, yet an unexpected moment of weakness pulls the rug out from under you and you find yourself wondering if it was all worth it. You not only have the consequences of the sin to deal with, but along with the crash comes hellish voices hailing despair and doom adding insult to injury. Will there ever be lasting relief?

If your Christian walk has seen disappointment in your own battle with sexual sin and if you’re discouraged by setbacks and feel destined to be a slave to pornography, take heart and watch this video! In Steve Gallagher’s own fight for purity, God has revealed to him how He was using his failures to bring him closer and closer to victory. You’ll hear Steve share Biblical principles that can be applied to any struggle by any Christian desiring to finally be free of sexual sin. When the battle seems all but lost, just keep fighting! Don’t forget that “if God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31 ESV)

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There is an enemy out there that is more subtle and craftier than the overt sexual sin. Millions more are addicted to it than to pornography, yet there are no self-help programs or other modern psychological solutions to be found. That enemy is what the Bible calls the “spirit of the world,” and victory over sexual addiction for the Christian comes with its defeat.

The “spirit of the world” is the underlying godless mindset steering the culture at large. That doesn’t sound like something subtle, but because we live in it every day, we have become numb to its pull. The pursuit of temporal pleasures and seemingly endless avenues for immediate entertainment have deadened our senses to evil thereby allowing its corrupting influence to dictate how we live our lives. The average Christian looks more like the average non-church goer who is more focused on the next episode of today’s popular on-demand series than obtaining his daily marching orders from the King of Kings.

Steve Gallagher explores this topic from personal testimony and Biblically unmasks the driving force in our culture. This video is an eye-opener for any Christian fighting to be free from the seductions that surround him.

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Many wives have been led to believe that they are to blame for their husband’s sexual addiction. A husband’s accusations of inadequate or infrequent intimacy often lead to regret, grief and heartache.

To make matters worse, these accusations are often reinforced by family members, church leaders and emotional or mental health experts.

Many believe that more sex will fix this problem, or that cosmetic surgery will create enough excitement to curb a man’s addiction. Well-meaning counselors may even suggest that a more adventurous sex life will bring a man’s passions under control.

The problem with these “fixes” is they are simply attempts at controlling sexual addiction, and will inevitably fail. A man addicted to sex will be out of control until his addictions are put off once and for all.