Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch upon the evil and the good." (RV)

When I reflect on this verse, I cannot imagine how it must grieve and break God’s heart to see all the unspeakable evil that goes on behind closed doors throughout the world today.

New technology - makes it so easy for men to indulge in all kinds of sexual fantasies and perversion. There’s instant pleasure right at their fingertips 24 hours a day. Sadly enough, men who choose to go this route, don’t to consider the devastating effects their actions will have on their wives and children down the road.

While counseling at Pure Life Ministries, the Lord allowed me to enter into the lives of wives grievously affected by their husbands’ sexual sin. Many of the stories heard were heartbreaking, especially when innocent children were exposed to their fathers’ dirty “little” secret accidentally.

The Exposure

Little Debbie didn’t have a clue what she was going to find when she asked her mom if she could watch a video. After she was done with her homework, she ran downstairs to the TV room.   As she was about to pop in a movie, she noticed that one was already in the player. Debbie thought to herself, “Maybe I’ll just watch what’s here.” She pushed play and to her surprise began looking at something she’d never seen before. She cried out for her mom to come and see. Her mother could hardly believe her eyes. It was a porn video that her husband had watched one day while they were out grocery shopping; he had forgotten to put away. She was devastated that her daughter had been exposed to such filth—right under her very own roof!

Lorraine, a blossoming 14-year-old, was starving for her daddy’s love. But he was always working and never seemed to have time for his family. One night, her dad couldn’t sleep and decided to check on the kids. Suddenly, Lorraine was awakened by the caresses of her father; she pretended to be asleep—too afraid to say or do anything. Frightened and confused, she thought “Why is my daddy doing this to me?”

Eric was a serious-minded child who really looked up to his father. When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, his replied “I want to be just like my daddy.” Late one night Eric was awakened by a noise downstairs. Curiosity got the best of him, and he tiptoed downstairs to see what was going on.  He peeked behind the wall of the living room to find dad masturbating to pornography.  Eric dashed back upstairs; he didn’t know what to make of this. The next night, he caught his dad in action once again. Does Eric ever mention this to his mother? Or does he follow in his dad’s footsteps?

In each of these three scenarios, the fathers had no idea how their sin would impact their kids emotionally and spiritually. But Apostle Paul gives a warning in Galatians 6:7,8: “Do not be deceived. God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.  For he who sows to the flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.” In my years of counseling with hurting wives, some of the issues that I have seen as a result of sexual sin have reinforced the truth of this passage of Scripture.

The Effects

So what happened with little Debbie, Lorraine and Eric when they grew up? Little Debbie became a curious adolescent and began sneaking around the house hunting for magazines and videos that her daddy had stashed away. She began reading Teen Magazine, Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, and so forth to get the latest tips on how to look sexy. Consequently, she developed the warped mentality that the only way to be loved, approved of and accepted by men was through her body.  In a sick, twisted way Debbie found her self-worth by being promiscuous.

Lorraine who was once an outgoing, bubbly little girl became quiet, withdrawn and fearful of others. She grew very bitter and was resentful towards authority figures. There was a long period in which she literally hated men and everything they stood for. Finally, she fell in love and married a really neat guy who loved her very much. However, her husband had no idea that she saw sex as something dirty and ugly. She was so repulsed by what had happened to her as a child that she didn’t enjoy sexual intimacy with her husband.

Eric had the courage to tell his mom all about his dad’s late night activities in the living room. When she confronted her husband, he became furious and called Eric a boldfaced liar. Eric swore that he would never say another word about it. But deep down in his heart, he harbored bitterness and anger towards his parents for not believing him. He also became disrespectful toward them as he witnessed their constant bickering and as his dad spent more time away from the home.

The Exigency

I have received numerous first time calls from wives who are afraid to expose their husband’s sin.  Is your husband struggling with sexual addiction? Have your children already been exposed to your husband’s pornography? I pray that after reading this article you will have the courage to face the realities of your husband’s sexual sin and the damage it will do to your kids if he doesn’t do something about it now.

{{blog-bsecret="/blog-ads-storage"}}

In Exodus 34:6, 7 we read “the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.” These two verses reveal to us that God is indeed a God of mercy, truth and justice.

God will have mercy on anyone willing to repent. The Greek word for repent is metanoia which means a change or alteration of mind from evil to good or from worse to better because of the consequences of one’s sin.

As a member of the counseling team at Pure Life Ministries, I had the privilege of seeing men repent of their sins and choose to walk in the light and in truth as they experience God’s mercy and justice in their lives. The Lord has wonderfully restored many marriages and families through the Residential Program, the Overcomers-at-Home Program and the Wives Program.

It is my testimony that God is able to take the worst thing that has ever happened to you or your children and turn it around for good as if it had never happened.

‍

The concerned expression on the man’s face is one I have seen many times over the years. He is convinced he needs to enter the Pure Life Ministries’ Residential Program but is grieved about its length—almost frantically trying to negotiate a more reasonable compromise. “I could see coming for 30 days or even three months,” he complains, “but why, why does it have to be nine months long?”

I asked that same question of the Lord in 1989 when He directed me to begin our Residential Program in the hills of northern Kentucky. I honestly didn’t know if anyone would be willing to leave home for that long. In spite of my misgivings, I couldn’t escape the definite sense that the Lord was directing me.

After all these years I can now understand God’s wisdom in this. The simple answer is that a man will not experience the level of heart change he needs in a shorter period of time. The men who come to us to escape sexual sin need a complete transformation in the way they do life. Cheap shortcuts simply will not stand the test of time. There are many reasons I could mention to support the length of the program, but I will mention just a few.

A New Way of Thinking

First, dislodging addictive thinking takes time. It has taken years to establish the thinking patterns that have kept a man’s addiction stubbornly lodged within his life. Reading a good book, hearing a powerful sermon, attending a sexual addiction seminar or even going to a 30-day treatment center are not going to change the way a man views life. It is possible that he might be nudged in the right direction, but the notion that someone can suddenly change deeply entrenched habits of thinking in a short period of time is illusionary.

An addiction is a lifestyle that has been built upon learned reactions to outside stimuli. The man has repeatedly trained himself over the years to give in to temptations that come his way. Each indulgence in sin further strengthens the grip of the sin. “Ruts” are actually carved into his brain through habitual behavior. Nothing short of a prolonged separation from those enticements will allow his learned responses to change. Living in a godly environment, separated from those allurements, gives a man the opportunity he needs to break free from past destructive habit patterns.

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

A New Level of God’s Involvement

Second, freedom from habitual sin comes only through the power of God. There is no psychological gimmick that can provide the inward transformation an addict needs. Most men who come to us looking for help have been attending church for years and they can’t understand why God hasn’t set them free. What most don’t realize is that they have only skimmed the surface of Christianity. Their sin has kept them separated from the Lord. They have been flouting His authority in their lives and, at the same time, have been demanding He set them free from their sinful practices.

Two vital components to freedom come into play during a man’s stay at our residential center. For one thing, God’s presence is strong at Pure Life Ministries. Our staff spends hours every week seeking the Lord for His presence and interceding for the men in our program. So a guy arrives at Pure Life Ministries—dejected, hopeless, confused, full of spiritual darkness—and he has no idea the level of spiritual light he’s walking into! But as powerful as this atmosphere can be, a man who has soaked long in the cesspool of pornographic perversion must now soak long in God’s presence. Being internally cleansed of that filth simply takes time.

The other aspect to this is that most men who come to our residential center have attended church—done the evangelical, Christian thing—for years, while at the same time, maintaining a vibrant life of secret sin. That double-minded way of living the Christian life must be unlearned, and a new Christ-filled life must be learned and maintained long enough for it to become a lasting lifestyle. This requires a complete overhaul in the way one does life, and that does not happen in thirty days!

A New Way of Dealing with Emotions

Finally, there is an emotional dynamic that comes into play when a man first begins breaking away from habitual sin. A man’s stay in the Residential Program is almost predictable. As I already mentioned, most men arrive at our facility with very little hope that anything in their lives will actually change. Then, as they begin talking to other students and begin experiencing God’s presence, they start to get excited about the very real prospect that they are going to find the freedom they have long hoped for. This excitement—as is true of all emotions—eventually wears off as he enters the “endurance” stage of the program.

One of the common characteristics of Christian sex addicts is that their lives have been controlled by their feelings. If they “feel” like obeying God, they do. If they “feel” like indulging in sin, they do that. Their lives tend to be a roller-coaster, with no more stability than the waves of the sea. This is why they can sit in a powerful worship service on Sunday morning and be surfing pornographic websites that very night.

A victorious life in Christ cannot be maintained through such untrustworthy emotions. The staff is always happy to see a man filled with hope and excitement about getting free, but we know from years of experience that this period of excitement is going to wear off. It is absolutely vital that he is in the safe environs of the Residential Program when that happens. I can’t tell you how many men I have seen squander their once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to find freedom because they left the program during the excitement stage. “I got this thing,” a man recently boasted as he was packing his car. Of course, within two weeks he had fallen back into his old habits.

This period of learning to endure through fluctuating feelings and various circumstances is so important because it is reflective of what real life will be like when he returns home. While the man is in the program he is learning to overcome temptations without being buoyed by emotions. A man who can overcome during the drudgery of life in the program is well on his way to being able to overcome in the drudgery of life he will face at home.

Phase Two of the Residential Program also plays a key role in preparing the student to live in sustained victory. He has experienced the exhilaration of seeing light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. He has learned to go through the difficulties of life without caving in to temptation. In the final phase of the program he begins preparing for life in the “real world” in earnest. All three of these stages he will experience provide important aid in his quest for freedom.

So let’s cut to the chase. “Why does it have to be nine months long?”

Because that’s how long it takes to quit thinking and responding like an addict. Because that’s how long it takes soaking in the presence of God to flush out the filth. Because that’s how long it takes to learn to live in victory even in the down times. Because that’s how long it takes to establish the kind of victorious life with God that will last a lifetime.

His Presence Through Pain

Dear Melody,

I don’t mind it at all that you “dumped on me.” I know what it is like to have a “bad day” while facing such “waves of pain” as you shared in your letter. You probably feel as though you’re drowning in an ocean of despair with no rescue in sight. Believe me, I have been there many times in the past. I wish I would’ve had someone to talk to when my waves hit.

I can understand your being baffled by all your troubles, wondering “What is the point of it all?” At first glance, the option to just throw up your hands and walk away seems very appealing when you consider all the misery you’re likely to suffer by staying with your husband. But, let me ask you something: what has kept you from giving up after fifteen years of grief in this marriage? What has been your motivation to hold on? I think you will agree with me that it’s more than a wife’s natural commitment to marriage; there must be something deeper.

It goes without saying that the Lord leads different wives to respond to their husband’s sin in different ways. He often releases wives from their marriage vows who are suffering the pain of infidelity.

In your case, it seems that He has asked you to remain in the marriage. You are one of those rare people who has been able to grasp the good that God can accomplish inside you through an ordeal such as this. Perhaps you’ve not given up because deep in your heart you know that God is doing something very wonderful inside of you. So despite how much it hurts, you don’t want to move from under the Potter’s hands. I remember in one of our conversations you said to me, “As much as this hurts, I know God is purging me of stuff that He could not have gotten at in any other way.”  How precious those words must have been to the Lover of your soul!

The most intimate and wonderful experiences that I have ever had with the Lord happened when I was in the throes of total anguish and absolute helplessness. What a bitter-sweet existence it was during those times. Although I longed for the suffering to end, I realized when it was over that the strong sense of the Lord’s nearness was diminishing. It is the joy of such closeness that drives us to seek God through pain; there is nothing quite like it. The amazing fruit that comes from our lives through the suffering is well worth the pain. Most women just want it to go away! I understand that too.

{{blog-bsecret="/blog-ads-storage"}}

We have all heard nice sermons about God’s love and faithfulness, but if it isn’t worked into our hearts it just becomes more head knowledge. It is the very kind of suffering you are currently experiencing that allows the Holy Spirit to do a powerful work within a believer. God is imparting to you a knowledge of Himself which simply cannot be learned through sermons or books. He is doing a deep and precise work in your soul, carefully molding you into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. One day you will appreciate what God has done in your inward life—even more than you would ever appreciate having a “good marriage.” The apostle Paul, who endured so much for Christ’s sake, testified: “For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.” (II Corinthians 1:5) We sense the presence of God in such a powerful way when He allows us to experience pain because our sights are fixed upon the One who is able to comfort us in all our distresses.

Another major blessing in all you’re going through is the way the Lord will be able to use you one day to help others who are experiencing the same thing. There is something about suffering that creates a beautiful attraction to other people in need. It will amaze you how other hurting wives will seem to come from nowhere to seek your advice. Paul went on to write that our heavenly Father “comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (II Corinthians 1:4)

This reminds me of the true story of Corrie and Betsy Ten Boom, two sisters who endured unspeakable suffering in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. As Betsy was dying, she turned to Corrie and said, “We must tell them, Corrie—anyone who will listen. They will believe us because we have been there.”

So, Melody, be encouraged and know that God is developing a powerful testimony in you. It is His sustaining power that is keeping you through the deepest waters. And you will discover that His love goes beyond any fleeting happiness resulting from favorable outward circumstances.

I pray that God will grant you the strength to hold onto that which now seems most painful but in the end will turn out to be that which best serves your soul.

BUY THIS BOOK

“The worst thing you can do with (people involved in pornography) is lecture them about praying more or asking God for help. They’ve already done that, often to the point of despair.”

Such were the blasphemous words of a “Christian” therapist who went on to assert that the only real hope for sexual addiction is found through psychotherapy.

There is no mistaking the inference here: God is not trustworthy. You can cry out to Him until you’re blue in the face and nothing is going to happen. Such sentiments are extremely poisonous to one’s faith and paralyze the hungry soul from believing God for deliverance.

How contrary such thinking is to the truths found in Scripture! The writer of Hebrews directly addressed this very issue when he wrote: “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (4:15-16)

Confident Expectation

When a beggar comes to the door of a rich man known for his benevolence, he comes forward with a certain degree of confident expectation. He is driven, not by arrogant presumption, but by need. It is this sense of desperation to which the wealthy man responds. A sense of one’s need coupled with a belief that the other person is willing to meet that need is the basis of all believing prayer. God delights to see people come to Him with this kind of trust and faith. C.H. Spurgeon put it this way:

“How very small, after all, is this demand which God makes of us. Ask! Why, it is the least thing He can possibly expect of us, and it is no more than we ordinarily require of those who need help from us. We expect a poor man to ask; and if he does not, we lay the blame of his lack upon himself. If God will give for the asking, and we remain poor, who is to blame? Do you know what great things are to be had for the asking? Have you ever thought of it? Does it not stimulate you to pray fervently? All heaven lies before the grasp of the asking man; all the promises of God are rich and inexhaustible, and their fulfillment is to be had by prayer.”

Come as You Are

Consider the story of the “woman with the issue of blood.” (Mark 5:24-34) Though driven to Jesus primarily by physical need, her situation is very comparable to the person who struggles with habitual sexual sin. In the Jewish culture of Jesus’ time, this woman was considered unclean. In fact, anyone who touched her would have to undergo an elaborate ceremonial cleansing.

For twelve long years, she suffered with her affliction. Having already visited all the “professionals,” she had tried every remedy offered by man. Her story closely resembles those of sexual addicts who typically exhaust man’s wisdom before finally turning in desperation to God.

One day, she heard that the Healer was in town. It should be noted here that her day undoubtedly began the same way as hundreds before it. She would have long since lost any hope—destined to remain unclean the rest of her life. She had no indication that anything would be any different this day.

I was there once myself: unclean with no hope that anything could ever change. I too tried the “experts” with letters behind their names—all to no avail. Once my uncleanness became real to me and I realized man could not change me, there was nothing I could do but throw myself on the mercy of God. It was then, in my spiritually weakened condition, that I reached out and took hold of His garment.

Believe for the Impossible

As she approached, she saw a vast throng of people surrounding the Savior. In her weakened condition it must have seemed impossible to reach this Man. Imagine if, in the process, this poor woman would have come across someone like the faithless therapist mentioned above. She probably would have been told, “There’s no sense in going to this Jesus. He can’t help you!” Perhaps these words of empty counsel would have provided just enough discouragement to paralyze her. Isn’t that exactly what the devil would want?

But she had heard the reports about Jesus and she believed. Having tried all the self-appointed specialists, she instinctively knew that only God could help her. A singular thought compelled her: “If I can just touch His garments, I will be healed.” It was faith that drove her to the Redeemer, something this therapist apparently could not understand.

Stay Desperate

Desperate people like this woman learn not to be denied. She was determined to persist, regardless of the obstacles. It’s very possible that the prayer of the Psalmist energized her that day: “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13) This is the kind of determination that men in habitual sexual sin need to find their deliverance. By simply refusing to be denied, this woman both learned and demonstrated the secret of tapping into the power of God: faith. Charles Spurgeon speaks of this:

“If it had not been for faith, she would not have been earnest and importunate. Faith hangs on to Christ in the dark, it holds to a silent Christ, it holds to a refusing Christ, it holds to a rebuking Christ, and it will not let him go. Faith is the great holdfast that hooks a soul on to the Savior…

“Faith is like the Greek in the days of Xerxes, who seized the boat with his right hand. When they chopped off the right hand, he seized it with the left hand; when they cut off the left hand, he laid hold of the boat with his teeth, and did not let go until they severed his head from his body. Soul, if thou canst lay hold of Christ with thy right hand, or with thy left hand, it will be well with thee. Cling to Christ, and say to him with that holy boldness that is the result of faith, ‘I will not let thee go except thou bless me.’”

The truth is that this woman was too frail to press through that mob, but there was an unseen Hand which made a path for her—the same Hand which will always help the sincere prodigal find his way home. It was her faith that caused her to hold onto that Hand.

Take Every Opportunity

Finally, she miraculously made her way through the vast throng of people to the Savior. She had one chance. One second longer and He would be gone—along with all her hopes. But she seized her opportunity. The quivering hand reached out and touched His garment. Instantly, she felt the warm flow of God’s power rush through her body. It wasn’t a mere superficial remedy, either. The Lord’s healing power went right to the root of the problem.

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Perhaps your soul has uncleanness clinging to it, just like this woman’s body. Following her example of perseverance, you too must press through the obstacles to lay hold of the Master’s robe. Your healing will most likely take place over time—as you hold onto His garment. The secret is persistent, believing faith. Keep crying out to Him for your deliverance! Look upon that Face which radiates the intense love of God and listen to that Voice brimming with compassion.

Yes, it is true, you have sinned. You have no right to come before Him. And yet, what is also true is that He awaits you there. God’s throne truly is a throne built upon grace. Humble yourself before Him. Throw yourself upon His mercy. And you will find help in your time of need. I will conclude with a passage from my book, At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry:

“I once thought that all of the trips I made to the altar crying out for God’s help were a waste of time. Then as I re-examined those isolated incidents, I came to realize that those trips to the altar were instrumental in bringing about my deliverance! If you really want to be set free from the bondage of sexual sin, cry out to God daily. Do it today! Do it now! Your cries will be heard!”

“All churches who condemn us will be closed,” boasted Michael Swift in a February 1987 issue of the Gay Community News. He went on to write, “We shall sodomize your sons.... We shall seduce them in your schools, in your dormitories, in your gymnasiums, in your locker rooms, in your sports arenas, in your seminaries, in your youth groups…”(1)

The outrageous claims of this now-infamous article were dismissed by most readers at the time as so much bombastic nonsense. However, exactly one year later, a “war conference” was held outside Washington D.C. by 175 of the nation’s leading homosexual activists to lay out a strategy to homosexualize America.

Among those in attendance were two men who believed they knew how to accomplish this goal. Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen laid out what they considered to be a surefire method of overcoming all opposition to the total acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle.

“Kirk and Madsen were not the kind of drooling activists that would burst into churches and throw condoms in the air,” writes David Kupelian for World Net Daily. “They were smart guys – very smart. Kirk, a Harvard-educated researcher in neuropsychiatry, worked with the Johns Hopkins Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth and designed aptitude tests for adults with 200+ IQs. Madsen, with a doctorate in politics from Harvard, was an expert on public persuasion tactics and social marketing.”(2)

Kirk and Madsen emerged from the conference with a mandate to lay out their strategy to the homosexual community. Their original article was developed and expanded into a best-selling book entitled, After the Ball: How America Will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred of Gays in the ’90s.

“The campaign we outline in this book,” they write, “though complex, depends centrally upon a program of unabashed propaganda, firmly grounded in long-established principles of psychology and advertising.”(3) Their book became known as the Gay Manifesto.

Winning the Public

The strategy that Kirk and Madsen devised called for three basic steps: desensitizing, “jamming” and converting.

Desensitization required presenting a constant, positive image of homosexuals to the American public. This tactic has been successfully employed in, and assisted by, the media. It began with TV programs such as “Will and Grace” and “Queer As Folk” that presented likeable gay characters to win the hearts of their viewers. In short, television producers have effectively sold the American people on the idea that gays are really no different than “straights.”

“The main thing is to talk about gayness until the issue becomes thoroughly tiresome,” Kirk and Madsen write. “If you can get [straights] to think homosexuality is just another thing—meriting no more than a shrug of the shoulders—then your battle for legal and social rights is virtually won.”

Just as important in their overall scheme has been the ploy of “jamming” their opponents; in other words, discrediting and defaming anyone who disagrees with them. “We intend to make the antigays look so nasty that average Americans will want to disassociate themselves from such types.”(4) Exactly how would they accomplish this feat? They would characterize conservatives and Christians as “homohating bigots.” Kirk and Madsen write: “[Our propaganda] can show them being criticized, hated, shunned. It can depict gays experiencing horrific suffering as the direct result of homohatred—suffering of which even most bigots would be ashamed to be the cause.”

A perfect example of this is the movie “Philadelphia,” in which actor Tom Hanks plays a suffering homosexual who is being egregiously persecuted by fellow lawyers. Hanks played the part so effectively that audiences were left feeling overwhelming sympathy for the plight of the homosexual and tremendous disdain for those who oppose their lifestyle. The film industry rewarded Hanks with an Academy Award for his stellar performance. Finally, according to the strategy developed by Kirk and Madsen, people must be converted from merely sympathizing into overtly supporting the gay community. The activist-writers predicted there would be a mass public change of heart, “if we can actually make them like us.”

“We mean conversion of the average American’s emotions, mind, and will, through a planned psychological attack, in the form of propaganda fed to the nation via the media,” they continue. “We mean ‘subverting’ the mechanism of prejudice to our own ends – using the very processes that made America hate us to turn their hatred into warm regard – whether they like it or not.”

Attacking the Church

The temptation at this point is to accept at face value the claims of gay activists that all they want is equal protection under the law. However, they have long since won that battle. The truth is, they want much more: the complete silencing of opposing voices.
Kirk and Madsen call for a two-pronged approach to neutralizing the Christian-led opposition.

First, they must “muddy the moral waters… [by] publicizing support for gays by more moderate churches” and “raising theological objections of our own about conservative interpretations of biblical teachings.”

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

“This has been done with amazing success in mainline Protestant denominations, such as in the Episcopal Church USA, United Methodist Church, Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and the Presbyterian Church USA,” writes Ed Vitigliano of the American Family Association. “Homosexual activists in each of these major denominations have so clouded the issues regarding the biblical view of homosexuality as to threaten each with schism and ruin.”

Ultimately, conservative denominations and organizations which continue to resist this denigration of moral values must be viciously defamed: “At a later stage of the media campaign for gay rights—long after other gay ads have become commonplace—it will be time to get tough with remaining opponents,” write Kirk and Madsen. “To be blunt, they must be vilified.”

Hate Crimes

The final step in the strategy to silence all opposition is to push for legislation that will actually criminalize criticism of the homosexual lifestyle. In this aspect of the plan, gay activists have a willing supporter in the mainstream news.

For example, after the tragic 1998 murder of homosexual student Matthew Shepherd, Katie Couric of NBC’s Today Show interviewed Wyoming Governor Jim Geringer. She asked, “Some gay rights activists have said that some conservative political organizations like the Christian Coalition, the Family Research Council and Focus on the Family are contributing to this anti-homosexual atmosphere by having an ad campaign saying if you are a homosexual you can change your orientation. That prompts people to say, ‘If I meet someone who’s homosexual, I’m going to take action to try to convince them or try to harm them.’ Do you believe that such groups are contributing to this climate?” It goes without saying that the posing of a question like this on the national media has a tremendous impact on the public’s perspective of the Church.

The accumulated impact of Kirk and Madsen’s highly successful strategy has brought so much pressure on lawmakers that a number of states have already passed “Hate Crimes” laws. Other nations are even further along in this process.

Sweden’s parliament, on the cutting edge of homosexual rights, passed a similar bill in 2002. This law criminalized “hate speech,” including anything expressed in “church sermons.”

The following year, a Pentecostal pastor named Ake Green delivered a message to his congregation in which he described homosexuality as “abnormal, a horrible cancerous tumor in the body of society.” He went on to say that they were “perverts, whose sexual drive the Devil has used as his strongest weapon against God.”

While his wording may be harsh, Pastor Green should still have the right to rail against the evils of the day in his own church. Public prosecutor Kjell Yngvesson disagreed, reportedly saying: “One may have whatever religion one wishes, but [the sermon] is an attack on all fronts against homosexuals. Collecting Bible [verses] on this topic as he does makes this hate speech.”

This is the legal environment to which America (and indeed, all of Western Civilization) has found itself. What can Christians expect to face in the future? “Their campaign,” states David Kupelian, “will not end until Christians and other traditionalists opposing homosexuality are shut up, discredited, and utterly silenced…”

Steve Warren, a spokesman for the homosexual group ACT UP, wholeheartedly agrees: “We have captured the liberal establishment and the press. We have already beaten you on a number of battlefields. And we have the spirit of the age on our side. You have neither the faith nor the strength to fight us, so you might as well surrender now.”

While his conclusion is unthinkable, his analysis of our condition may very well be accurate. I pray that there will be those who will continue to stand for righteousness, fighting for lost souls and speaking the truth about sexual sin. But I fear that too many will remain silent, cowering in the face of homosexual intimidation. May God grant us courage to withstand this rising tide of evil.

My Beloved Brother,

I write this letter with tears in my eyes because I know firsthand the hopelessness and darkness you are now experiencing. In spite of repeated promises to quit, you remain trapped in an uncontrollable habit of pornography and masturbation.

There is a part in the movie, Fellowship of the Ring, where Aragorn asks Frodo if he is frightened. Frodo responds, “Yes.” Aragorn then ominously says what I want to say to you: “You are not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you.” A devil is stalking you, luring you and dragging you into ever greater darkness. The “power of the ring” is growing stronger in its grip on you. If I sound like I am being overly dramatic, the truth is that I am not being nearly dramatic enough: you have every reason to fear.

However, I also want to tell you that it is my unshakable testimony that God can lead you out of this dark valley back into the blessedness of His presence. To find this path of escape will require painful self-examination and a heart-felt, no-excuses repentance. I promise you that if you will do what is outlined in this article, you will find freedom. Let’s begin by appraising the situation, using the lives of David and Samson to represent two different types of pastors who become addicted to pornography and sexual sin.

David and Samson: Men Called by God, but Caught in Sin

David had a unique hunger for the Lord from the time he was a young boy tending sheep in the wilderness. His spiritual appetite intensified as he spent time with Samuel and deepened during his years of running for his life from Saul. Undoubtedly, David was hitting his spiritual peak when he became king at the age of 30. Yet, within 20 years, he had committed the unthinkable: he had lured Bathsheba into adultery and had her husband killed. How did it happen? It seems that the palace life sapped David’s spiritual hunger. Everything around him: his increasing responsibilities, his fame and fortune, and his growing pride all combined to dry up his life in God. He became easy prey for a stalking predator.

Perhaps you can relate to David. You too once walked closely with the Lord. You have known the hand of God on your life and experienced His power in your ministry. But little by little, your intimacy with Him has waned. Quite possibly you have experienced what Corrie Ten Boom once warned about: ‘Beware of the barrenness of a busy life.’ Maybe your work became more important to you than your walk with the Lord. It could be that your devotional life gradually withered away until the heavens seemed like brass and the Word of God became stale and lifeless.

Little did you realize that all this time you had a fearsome enemy dogging your every step, feeding your idol of “success,” biding his time until you became so spiritually weak that you could be lured into sin. Let’s not have any patronizing nonsense that you “fell” into sin as if you were walking along a path in the dark and suddenly—through no fault of your own—stumbled into a hole. There is a reason why it happens. Believers are vulnerable to temptation when they are not walking in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:16)

Once you reached that place of spiritual weakness, the enemy set into motion his malignant scheme to bring you down. Perhaps you became curious about pornography but underestimated its power. One glimpse of it unleashed a poison that rocketed into your soul and instantly spread throughout your being. However it initially happened, it quickly seized your heart and you found yourself going back to it time and again.

Or perhaps your situation is more comparable to Samson’s. He too had the call of God upon his life, but never really enjoyed deep fellowship with Him. From his earliest days he was given over to lust, taking every opportunity to seek out forbidden Philistine beauties. His life was one spiritual failure after another, until he found himself in the lap of Delilah with the Philistines upon him.

You have had struggles with masturbation and pornography since your teen-aged years. You knew the Lord was calling you into ministry and thought you would attain victory in Bible school, but you found that freedom was just as elusive there as it had been at home. Then you saw marriage as the way out, but alas, once again you found yourself returning to the hog trough. You have experienced brief moments of God’s presence, but “the sin” was always lurking one step away. You have never really known what it means to truly walk in the Spirit.

Regardless which illustration you identify with, the bottom line is that you are now in the clutches of something very evil. Whether you realize it or not, Delilah has set you up and you are now languishing in a Philistine prison of gloom and darkness. The eyes of faith, which once held glorious visions of victories to be won for God, have been mercilessly gouged out. The anointing that once flowed with power and unction has been quenched. The mouth which once was filled with Holy Ghost-inspired messages now serves up weak, uninspired sermons. You have lost the God-given authority to speak His Word: “What right have you to tell of My statutes and to take My covenant in your mouth? For you hate discipline, and you cast My words behind you.” (Psalm 50:16-17)

Your life’s work has disintegrated into a meaningless existence of going through the motions—pushing a grindstone in a Gazan prison. You are surrounded by heckling devils, mocking all that your life once represented. “Our god has given our enemy into our hands!” (Judges 16:24)

If your sins are of such nature that they have become public knowledge, you have given the world one more excuse to disdain all that Christianity stands for. Oh, how unbelievers love juicy newspaper accounts of yet another fallen minister. You have shattered the trust of your family, your congregation, your fellow pastors and your community. Because of your actions, “the way of the truth (has been) maligned.” (2 Peter 2:2)

It’s likely that you are in a sin-induced stupor, making you insensible to the great danger surrounding you. Most likely you vacillate between the extremes of faithless despair and stubborn denial. David was in his sinful condition for at least a year before the prophet put his bony finger in his face and exclaimed, “You are the man!” It took piercing words to penetrate his calloused heart.

If it seems like I’ve been too hard on you, the truth is that I haven’t been nearly strong enough. You are a representative of the thrice holy God. What a frightening position to hold! No wonder James warned, “Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment.” (3:1) Your danger is not only from a wicked foe, but also from the God whose Son you have “trampled under foot.” (Hebrews 10:29-31) Please remember that these hard-sounding words come from a man who had to face them in his own life.

Uprooting Entrenched Sin

Over a period of fifteen years, I became increasingly involved in sexual sin until I reached the point where nothing was too shameful for me. “But God, rich in mercy…” heard my cries for help and eventually helped me overcome sexual addiction. However, my heart remained full of corruption and lust. The memories of sexual scenes I had witnessed or experienced were still very vivid. There were times I despaired of ever having a pure heart. Could a man such as me really be purged of the knowledge of evil? Would I ever be able to forget those pornographic images that seemed forever etched upon my mind? Would I always lust over pretty girls? Was it possible for me to make love to my wife without fantasizing about other women?

The answer to each of these questions is a resounding yes! Today I can sincerely testify that the Lord has truly purified my heart. This freedom is there for you as well. However, I must warn you that it will not be appropriated cheaply or easily. I refuse to offer you psychological gimmicks, superficial solutions or pain-free alternatives. Instead, I will share with you the biblical principles that worked in the lives of me and many others.

It should be obvious that before a man can find purity of heart he must put away the pornography once and for all. This requires open confession to, and accountability with, your wife, friends and associates. A good Internet filter is also mandatory. Enough has been written about these topics that a passing reminder should be sufficient here.

Of more long-term consequence is what God desires to do within you. Having an Internet filter or an accountability partner will not wipe away memories, purge sin or cleanse your heart. A deeper work must be accomplished in your inner man. The truth is that somewhere along the way the foundation of your spiritual and ministerial life has become terribly corrupted. This is no small matter and minimizing it will only exacerbate your dilemma. And yet, chances are, that is exactly what you have done.

Consider an automobile that is running very poorly. The owner has the car towed to the shop, convinced that a tune-up will rectify the problem. “Sir,” the mechanic informs him, “the engine in this car is shot. Getting a tune-up is a waste of time. It needs a complete overhaul!” You too need more than a few minor adjustments—you need God to do an overhaul of your life.

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Consider one more illustration. A man breaks a bone in his ankle. He knows that if he goes to the emergency room, the attending physician will have to wrench his foot in order to reset the bone. The thought of this terrifies him, so he ignores the problem, even though every step brings wincing pain. Because of his unwillingness to face a moment of greater pain in the doctor’s office, he must live the remainder of his life as a cripple.

My dear brother, God wants to cleanse you, free you and use you for His Kingdom. Will you spend the rest of your ministerial career buried by this sin, unwilling to do the difficult thing? Will you eventually become one of the “false teachers” Peter speaks of, “who indulge the flesh in its corrupt desires… having eyes full of adultery and that never cease from sin?” When you stand before God, will the terrible judgment of Second Peter 2 serve as an indictment against your life?

The Way Out

In your case, it is not a foot that must be wrenched; it is your self-life. Over the past twenty years, I have experienced numerous breakings from the Lord’s hand. I mostly attribute the inner purity I now enjoy to those experiences: brokenness restores innocence. In his excellent book, The Release of the Spirit, Watchman Nee asks, “Can one who is unbroken, but whose teachings are right, supply the need of the church?”

Brokenness is a precious thing to God because it allows Him to accomplish His perfect will, use His power and still receive all the glory. Unfortunately, in many people’s lives, SELF becomes the Lord’s greatest competitor. Jesus spoke of two different types of brokenness people face. “And he who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; but on whomever it falls, it will scatter him like dust.” (Matthew 21:44) The implication is that if a person will not allow Jesus to break his self-life and all that comes with it—self-will, self-indulgence, self-glory, etc.—then he will be “broken without remedy.” (Proverbs 29:1)

Such was the case of Samson, who apparently ignored numerous warnings from the Lord. His last days on earth were spent languishing in a Philistine prison, occasionally being brought out to play the part of a clown before his tormentors.

David, on the other hand, threw himself on the mercy of God: “Wash me thoroughly, cleanse me, and purify me,” he cried. “Let the bones which You have broken rejoice. Create in me a clean heart, O God. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” (Psalm 51) Unlike many who attempt to minimize or justify their actions, David thoroughly acknowledged his guilt. This was a man who was truly broken over his sin and freed from its power. Every attempt to justify or minimize what you have done will weaken God’s ability to purge your sin.

Perhaps you realize that you are in spiritual trouble but don’t know what to do. You would welcome a Psalm 51 experience but feel dead and unbroken inside. As you know, you cannot make yourself experience brokenness. However, you can do what the old-time Pentecostals used to do: tarry before the Lord until you get the breakthrough you need!

Get alone with the Lord in a place where telephones and secretaries can’t reach you; somewhere no one can hear you pour out your heart. The best setting would be a remote cabin where you can fast and pray for several days. At the very minimum, spend four to six hours on your face before God. What is purity worth to you?

Plead for His mercy. Take a piece of paper and detail every sin you have committed. This is no time to go easy on yourself! Ask the Lord to convict you of the selfish attitudes that have allowed this sin to take root in your life. Don’t be like some pastors who always take the most painless path available and never find real freedom. Pray over and thoroughly study Psalm 51, II Timothy 3 and II Peter 2. These chapters are full of deep truths about God’s perspective on sin and repentance.

Above all else, don’t lose track of what you are there to do. Remember: Deep repentance brings about profound and lasting change. Paul said, “Godly grief and the pain God is permitted to direct, produce a repentance that leads to… deliverance from evil.” (II Corinthians 7:10 AMP) The Greek word for grief used by Paul describes a heart-wrenching, inner anguish over one’s sin. Allow the sword of the Spirit to plunge deeply into your heart. You could easily cry for three days straight if you really saw the ugliness of your sin and how it has hurt those around you.

A word of caution here: I have known men who have cried out to God for deliverance, yet still clutched their sin, refusing to let it go. A sincere penitent will do the hard things, such as confessing his sin to his superintendent. If you will earnestly seek God to bring about real repentance, He will not disappoint you.

The Fruits of Repentance

The deeper you allow God to break you, the more profoundly your thinking will be altered. One of the first things you must do is to thoroughly repent to your wife. Undoubtedly, you have hurt her in many ways. Not only have you been fixated on the bodies of other women, but you have probably also neglected her emotionally. Pornography nearly always causes a man to become aloof and distant with loved ones. If you have experienced a real breakthrough, your wife will immediately notice the change in the way you treat her and the children. Your intimacy with her will become far less carnal and much more loving. When I committed myself to putting my wife’s emotional and physical needs before my own in the marriage bed, fantasy lost its grip on me and I actually began to enjoy my wife sexually. The power of selfishness must be broken!

You should also see a noticeable change in your devotional life. Rather than dry prayer times and stagnant Bible study, you will discover a renewed thirst for God and hunger for His Word. This is just what you need. A vibrant time with the Lord every morning will not only help you in your own personal struggles, but it will also empower you in your ministry like never before!

Another thing that will change is your attraction to the allurements of the world. Every fallen pastor I have known was more familiar with the world’s offerings (sports, newspapers, Internet, television programs and secular talk shows) than with sitting in the Lord’s presence. Jesus said, “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Matthew 5:29) This is serious business! You must sever everything in your life that has fed a carnal mindset.

The greatest changes in your life may seem imperceptible. People will simply notice a softness in your countenance, a genuine passion for God and love for others that weren’t there before. Nothing will restore the shattered trust of others more than for them to see you persist in the humility and love that come through true brokenness.

If the temptations still seem overwhelming, you might consider doing something more dramatic like getting out of ministry for a time of restoration. God’s scalpel cuts deep in the Pure Life Ministries 9-month Residential Program: ungodly attitudes are transformed, sin is carved out and the power of God is imparted. Also available is a telephone counseling program.

Whatever path of restoration you choose, you will have to fight to regain your lost innocence. Jesus said that the violent take the Kingdom by force. You must become like Bartimaeus who refused to be silenced and Jacob who refused to let go. Ask, seek and knock and I promise you that God will abundantly meet your need.

Kathy Irwin was clueless about who she was marrying in January 1980. This naïve 19-year-old girl did not realize that I had a long history of being a womanizer and that I was terribly addicted to pornography. She had no idea that I maintained a secret lifestyle of illicit sex that nobody knew about. Marriage did not alter any of this. I continued living my double life without one pang of guilt or concern. Even the day before our wedding I was with a prostitute.

It quickly became obvious to her that I was an angry and miserable person. I alienated Kathy and was content for us to live separate lives in the same house. She knew something was terribly wrong in our marriage but could not understand what it was. She only knew that our marriage shared no resemblance to the loving union of her parents.

A year after we were married, I decided to become a cop in Los Angeles. Our move there made things even more difficult for her as she lost the security of having her family nearby. Not long after the move, I decided to tell her the truth about my secret life: I was addicted to pornography and I was regularly committing adultery with prostitutes and other women. She was shocked. I convinced her that if we watched porn movies together that it would end my “need” to go out on her. She was confused and had nobody to discuss it with. She reluctantly agreed. It was a monumental mistake.

Coming out in the open about my obsession with women only made matters worse. In some sick way, it gave me license to openly lust after and flirt with other women. Kathy finally left me, repented of her sin and got her life right with the Lord.

My Wife’s Selflessness

Several weeks later, I had an encounter with the Lord that changed my life. I still struggled with sexual sin, but at least now I was committed to living the Christian life. I told Kathy about this and asked her to return to me. I was clueless to the amount of damage I had done to her. She had been terribly hurt by my actions and had lost her respect for me. In short, she wanted nothing to do with Steve Gallagher.

However, God intervened and made it clear to her that He wanted her to return to me. She sat down and wept at the thought of it. She knew she must obey Him no matter what it might cost her. It wasn’t easy, though. In fact, during those first few months she would often cry herself to sleep at night. She cringed every time I touched her. She hid all of this from me because she didn’t want to do anything that would discourage my newfound faith in Christ. It still remains one of the clearest examples of selflessness I have ever witnessed.

It took over two years for me to get totally free of habitual sexual sin. This was in the early 80’s and sexual addiction was a term unheard of in those days. Kathy knew that I sincerely wanted freedom and this helped her to stick it out with me.

{{blog-bsecret="/blog-ads-storage"}}

It needs to be said that the real secret to her unselfish attitude was her relationship with the Lord. God became very big to her during those difficult years. Instead of becoming increasingly fixated on herself and what she wanted (a happy marriage and an adoring husband), she made knowing Him the passion of her life. As she did this, the Holy Spirit upheld her through her trials, comforted her in times of pain and poured His love through her to me and others.

During that crucial two year period, her love for me matured from being a “needy” love that was looking for something in return, to a godly love that put the needs of the other person first. Instead of seeing my failures as being a personal attack upon her womanhood, she was able to view the situation from God’s perspective. Rather than laying unrealistic expectations upon me to meet her emotional needs, she learned to find her fulfillment from the Lord.

The Holy Spirit’s power at work within her also helped her to become a source of strength for me. Rather than enabling me in my sin, she let me know that she expected me to change. She now had the spiritual and emotional wherewithal to help me to accomplish that change.

Since Christ was truly the center of her life, she could fight for our marriage in His strength and in His love. She saw us as one flesh and sexual addiction as a battle that must be fought together. Rather than demoralizing me with criticism and anger over my failures, she became my greatest cheerleader. Only her connection to the Lord could supply her with the courage to live this way.

My Wife’s Humility

I think one of the things that helped Kathy keep such a good attitude through this painful process was the fact that she always saw herself as a sinner in her own right. So many wives we deal with view themselves as being far godlier than their husbands and are blind to their own shortcomings. They may have nothing more than a superficial walk with the Lord, but the lack of obvious, outward sin in their lives (such as illicit sex) makes it is easy for them to hold an exaggerated perspective of their own spirituality. They have only positive things to say about themselves but only criticism for their husbands. By contrast, Kathy saw herself in just as much need of God’s grace as her husband. We were going to the Cross of Calvary hand-in-hand in equal need of His mercy.

Another huge thing I am grateful for is my wife’s willingness to pray for me. It requires no effort to find fault with or complain about others, but is so difficult to bear them to God. Kathy spent many hours interceding for me. Every morning she would bombard heaven on my behalf: asking, seeking and knocking. She knew that I was in the struggle of my life and that I would not make it without God’s power. She did not approach the Lord with the haughty attitude, “fix this jerk.” Her prayers were full of love and compassion. Her prayer life not only helped me get free, but also helped to sustain her own walk with the Lord.

Over time, Kathy and I became a team. We learned to fight together for the common good of our marriage and our spiritual lives. Rather than being two separate entities looking out for “Number One,” we were headed in the same direction together. My final foray into sexual sin occurred in 1985. I never again went back.

But this newfound victory was not the end or the goal; it was just the beginning. As our life in God grew, so too did our love for each other.

Eventually, God began using me in ministry. I tended to be in the “limelight” while Kathy was happy to remain behind the scenes. I have always been very forthright about my love for my wife. There have been times that women have told Kathy how fortunate she is to have a husband who loves her like I do. They have no idea of what they are saying. While it is true that I love my wife, the real story is that I love her because she first loved me. In fact, it was through her unselfish example that I learned how to love.

I thank God for my wife. I can only imagine where I would be today if I didn’t have a woman like Kathy Gallagher by my side when I was in the greatest battle of my life.

‍

I imagine Satan being very much like a cobra. Known for the hideous hood it extends when preparing to attack, it actually spits into the eyes of its victim before striking. With its target blinded and helpless, the serpent could easily squirm away into the brush. But this viper is not content with escape; it enjoys killing. With bared fangs, it lunges, injecting its deadly poison into its victim’s body. This is a fitting picture of the man lured into viewing pornography.

The Serpent of Pornography Deceives You

The temptation usually begins when he comes across a glimpse of flesh and/or a sexually suggestive hyper-link. It is just enough venom to temporarily blind him to the impending danger. The initial presentation is stimulating, creating a sensual atmosphere which spiritually incapacitates him.

It seems irresistible because it is laced with deception—namely, that the act of sin will bring about tremendous pleasure and satisfaction. The tantalizing thought is presented and all thoughts of resistance are forgotten. The act of sexual sin looks absolutely intoxicating and therefore irresistible. The serpent is extremely cunning. He slithers up to his unsuspecting victim, camouflaging the sin, presenting it under the perfect illusion of innocence. He times his attack to best accomplish his purpose, “to steal, and kill, and destroy’ God's property.”

Now the serpent moves in for the kill. That one glimpse of porn unleashes a poison that rockets into the man’s soul and instantly spreads throughout his being. Just like a snakebite victim, he enters a catatonic state of mind: a sexual trance where all reason seems to abandon him. Lust rushes through his body; his face flushes with excitement; his palms get sweaty.

Solomon described this spiritual stupor this way: “With her many persuasions she entices him. With her flattering lips she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, until an arrow pierces through his liver; as a bird hastens to the snare, so he does not know that it will cost him his life.” Proverbs 7:21-23

The Serpent of Pornography Impairs You

Once a snake bites, its victim then becomes vulnerable to other predators.

Some time ago, I watched a National Geographic special that showed a lioness who had been bitten by a cobra. For days, she suffered under the effects of its venom. Weakened to the point of collapse, she faced great danger from a roving pack of ravenous hyenas. She was helpless to defend herself from their savage attacks.

This is certainly true of the man who views pornography. Its poison, rather than dissipating after he has completed his act of lust, continues to contaminate his heart over the coming days. Its toxin remains in his system, altering his perspectives, polluting his mind, and spreading darkness over his soul. The lust it initially appealed to is now inflamed into burning desire. Rather than satisfying the man’s sexual passion, it only serves to further ignite it.

Not only must the infected man deal with the after-effects of the bite, but now he is even more weakened spiritually against the enemies of his soul. He attempts to go about his daily routines, but lascivious memories continue to haunt him. These images are like Third World beggars crowding around him, clamoring for another handout. No matter how much you give them, they’re never satisfied. Indeed, every gift only emboldens them to demand more.

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

The Serpent of Pornography Must Be Crushed

Christian men must do everything within their power to crush the serpent of pornography. Two practical measures a man should take include: installing a filter on his Internet devices, and controlling his television viewing. However, the fact remains that we live in a snake-infested world. In our day and age, it is almost inevitable that men will face this temptation at some point. The wise believer will prepare himself for that day with the Word of God.

When a man “receives with meekness the engrafted word,” he will discerns the source of temptation that comes his way. He understands that, behind the beautiful illusion of pleasure, there is a snake—coiled and ready to strike. He has been bitten by it before and has learned the hard way the price that is paid for every indulgence. He has the heart-knowledge (much different from head knowledge) to “be a doer of the Word” and turn away from the temptation.

Time spent in the Word everyday builds up a man’s immune system against the poison of pornography. The scriptures are simply the thinking and perspectives of the Lord. As a man continually immerses himself in the Bible, he will gradually take on God’s mindset toward life, people and, yes, even sexuality. A man who devotes daily time to the Word is given spiritual insight into the power of temptation and how it works. Just as the Word of God prepares a man to face temptation, it is also the only antidote for the man once he has been bitten by the serpent of lust. Regular doses of Scripture are the very thing he needs to be built up spiritually and thus counteract the effects of the poison of pornography. “Precept upon precept; line upon line; here a little, and there a little…” Isaiah 28:10

It is only the “Sword of the Spirit” that can sever the head of the serpent of porn.

In the early days of my personal struggle for purity, a wise man reminded me that I should not expect to attain a place where I was impervious to temptation. Even Jesus was tempted, he reminded me. Yet we also know that Jesus was without sin. (Hebrews 4:15) Experiencing sexual temptation, by itself, is not sin, nor is it evidence that we are not living in victory. Indeed, there are times when we need to reject such false condemnation. But that leaves us with the critical question: where is the line between temptation and sin?

For some, this issue of temptation versus sin may be nothing more than an academic or theological exercise. But, for those of us battling for purity in a sexually explicit society that promotes lust and exalts sensuality, recognizing the difference between encountering the daily onslaught of temptations versus engaging in sin is a crucial matter.

The problem for most of us, however, isn’t fighting off unwarranted condemnation because we’ve confused experiencing temptation with committing sin. No, the far more prevalent problem is that we’re indulging in sin long before we know it! We’re often clueless that we’ve crossed over the temptation line into sin. Later, in the aftermath of giving over yet again, we stand wringing our hands in frustration, wondering how in the world this could keep happening to us. Whether we’re “addicted” or not, the final outward fulfillment of our lust is always the last step in a process. But the line separating sin and temptation is regularly crossed before the very first visible step is taken.

In other words, once a person’s heart is set on his or her object of desire, sin is already being committed. The steps down into the actual activities of our routines and the consummation of our lust have already become inevitable, and the desire of our hearts will be carried out in due time. James’s epistle describes this well: “When desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown, brings forth death.” (James 1:15) No matter how long the gestation period turns out to be, once we have let desire conceive, sin will be birthed.

King David’s Sin

Consider King David and Bathsheba. The opening verse of this account in the Bible suggests that the venerable monarch is already in trouble in his heart before he ever lays eyes on Bathsheba. David’s choice to remain in Jerusalem at the time of year “when kings go out to battle,” portends trouble ahead. Then it happened, Scripture says, that David got out of bed one night, presumably unable to sleep, and took a walk on the palace roof. “And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold.” (2 Samuel 11:1-2)

I’m sure we all know the sad outcome of this familiar story. David’s heart was already set on enjoying the pleasures of palace life over the field of battle. “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.” (Romans 8:5) With his mind already set on the things of the flesh at the time he encountered Bathsheba, David was unprepared to resist the temptation he faced on that fateful night.

David was evidently oblivious to the actual point in time when he crossed the line into adultery and later murder. But Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount makes it very clear that the line is first crossed in our hearts long before it is manifested by our sinful behavior. (Matthew 5:28)

Jesus repeatedly tried to teach His followers that sin occurs first in our hearts, and then makes its ugly appearance in our outward behavior. (Matthew 15:19) Therefore, if we intend to take a stand against sin, the supreme consideration for us is what is our heart set on?

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Joseph’s Temptation

There is another man in the Bible who was similarly tempted to commit adultery. In fact, Potiphar’s wife relentlessly pursued the handsome young Israelite who oversaw her household, daily casting her longing eyes upon him, repeatedly making her brazen appeal: “Lie with me… lie with me… lie with me.” Truly such a powerful temptation would be the undoing of many men. But Joseph stood firm. “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” he responded. (Genesis 39:9) Because Joseph’s heart was set on God, he was able to resist this potent temptation.

God’s Redemption

It would be wonderful if we all had a testimony of unwavering resistance to sexual temptation like Joseph. And I do believe it is God’s desire to bring us into that level of victory. But one of the Bible’s many attractions is its openness in portraying even the weaknesses and failures of its heroes; which brings us back to David. His story does not end with the account of his dual failures of adultery and murder. Rather, he is confronted in his sin by his loving, merciful God. And in his great psalm of repentance, David pleads: “Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.” (Psalm 51:10-11) By the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, David was enabled to re-set his heart on God. Consequently, when David is spoken of in the New Testament, he isn’t derided for his egregious sin, but is esteemed as a man after God’s heart. (Acts 13:22)

Our Response

Like David, if you and I are ever going to walk in victory over sexual temptation, we have to confront the ungodly desires of our heart head-on. Moreover, if we accept the Bible’s demarcation of sin primarily as an attitude of the heart rather than just a behavior, we’ll quickly realize two things: we’ll see that we commit many more sins than we thought, and we’ll also be increasingly aware of our need for daily repentance. When this happens, we’ll be right where God wants us!

Repentance will be our permanent state rather than a one-time experience. We’ll live in sight of our need for a Savior. Jesus will become very personal and ever-present to us. As those who have been forgiven much, we will love much. Our hearts will perpetually overflow with gratitude and worship.

And sexual sin? With our hearts, firmly set on God, we will recoil from such temptation: “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” We will be established in victory, and the glory will belong to the Lord!

‍

It is a clash of conflicting trends that promises only to intensify in the coming years. Record numbers of American men are viewing suggestive images of adolescents and even child pornography, while, at the same time, highly publicized cases of child rape and murder have sparked an enormous public outrage toward sex offenders.

This growing interest in the bodies of children has authorities alarmed. “The threat is frighteningly real…” former US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales once said. “Child exploitation and pornography is growing rapidly, and it must be stopped.”

A negligible percentage of adults with an innate sexual attraction toward children has always existed. These men are what would be considered true pedophiles and some of them have molested thousands of children.

But a disturbing trend is emerging: “regular guys” who are seeking out child pornography in record numbers. “The vast majority of people [we have arrested] have never been charged or even suspected of crimes against children,” FBI Special Agent Pete Gulotta stated. “This is very disconcerting to us in law enforcement. It tells us that the people who get caught are either very unlucky, in that they were caught the first time… or it tells us that they have been doing this and getting away with it for some time.”

The idea of the sex offender being a greasy weirdo with obvious problems has been dispelled by the arrest of such notables as rock star Pete Townshend (child pornography) and Brian Doyle, former deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (attempting to seduce a child online). This is an escalating problem that is not going to just go away.

Contributing Factors

The recent growing fascination with explicit images of children is not simply happenstance: there are legitimate, attributable reasons involved. The first is the ongoing sexualization of adolescent girls in our culture. For instance, Hollywood has produced a number of movies which portray young girls as sexual objects; e.g. Taxi Driver and Pretty Baby.

Another contributing factor to this alarming trend has been the promotion of child sex through the use of cartoons in men’s magazines such as Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler. Dr. Judith Reisman was commissioned by the U.S. Department of Justice to direct a two-year content analysis on this subject. “Our study documented each issue of Hustler averaging 14.1 children and pseudo-children alongside 47 images of crime and violence,” she wrote. “52 percent of child photos were sexually explicit and most cartooned children were sexually violated.” (1)

Also contributing to this obsession with young bodies is the law of diminishing returns: sin does not satisfy. The first time a guy (maybe as a teenager) sees an image of a topless woman he is thrilled, but over time those pictures fail to excite him; he wants to see more. He advances to full nudity, but again, it is only a matter of time before he feels a need for something more explicit. This brings him into the realm of X-rated pornography. When the thrill of this begins to diminish, he begins looking for something to take its place. For many, this is child pornography.

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Another element that further exacerbates the problem is the proliferation of websites offering “legal child pornography.” One method pornographers have concocted is to use computer technology to alter innocent pictures of children into the simulation of a child engaged in sex. Websites are also available that offer videos of adolescent girls seductively dancing in skimpy outfits. One of these sites received 32 million hits from 357,000 visitors during a nine-month period in 2002. (2)

Then there are the “conventional” adult entertainment sites that offer explicit images of teenagers. According to one expert, these sites receive 7-8 million hits a day. (3) They claim their actors and actresses are at least 18-years of age, but they are made to look and act younger. One such purveyor bragged, “We make the girls look as fresh and as cute and cuddly as possible – ‘adorable cupie dolls,’ I call it… I put it to the girls this way: ‘You’re 18 with the mentality of a 14-year-old. You want to experiment, you want to try things. Anything your parents told you not to do, you’re gonna want to do.’” (4)

The last and most obvious reason for the increase in the sexual interest in youngsters is the proliferation of child pornography available on the web. Some people believe there are upwards of 100,000 child porn sites generating annual revenues between 3 and 4 billion dollars. Part of the problem is that the web is not confined to the United States. According to Ernie Allen of the Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 122 countries have no laws addressing child pornography on the Internet. He says only 5 countries (the U.S. being one) have strong enough laws to make an impact on this crime.

Authorities Fight Back

In 1993, while investigating the disappearance of a 10-year-old boy from his Brentwood, Maryland neighborhood, FBI agents discovered two men who had been sexually abusing children for a quarter century. The offenders had set up a private computer bulletin board service to “chat” with boys and share images of child pornography. That discovery led investigators to a larger ring of computer pedophiles. As a result of this case and others, the FBI created a nationwide task force (code-named Innocent Images) with the goal of breaking up networks of online pedophiles and stopping sexual predators from using the Internet to lure children into illicit encounters.

“During the early stages of Innocent Images, a substantial amount of time was spent conducting investigations [of] ‘chat rooms’ in which teenagers and pre-teens can meet and converse with each other,” an FBI bulletin states.

“Investigation revealed that computer-sex offenders utilized the chat rooms to contact children… Chat rooms offer the advantage of immediate communication around the world and provide the pedophile with an anonymous means of identifying and recruiting children into sexually illicit relationships.”

There has been a dramatic increase of investigations since the task force’s humble beginnings in 1995. There were 113 cases opened in 1996, which expanded to over 2,400 in 2005—a twenty-fold increase!

Today, more than 200 FBI agents are assigned full-time to the Innocent Images program. In addition to them, scores of local law enforcement agencies are also working with this task force within their local communities. For instance, it was the Polk County (Florida) Sheriff’s Department that investigated and arrested Bryan Doyle.

One of the bright spots of this federal program has been a 95% conviction rate of investigations they have initiated. “We have no idea how many pedophiles are out there,” says agent Pete Gulotta. “We only know the ones we catch. It is like fishing in a pond full of hungry fish. You throw lines in with bait and keep catching fish. You really don’t know how many fish are in the pond until you stop catching them. We haven’t stopped catching them yet!”

Spiritual Implications

It is a frightening thought that millions of American males are regularly viewing child pornography and even more so that many of them are acting upon those evil images. As chilling as this is, none of it should take the Christian by surprise. At the end of the Revelation we are told, “When [the time of fulfillment] comes, all doing wrong will do it more and more; the vile will become more vile…” (22:11 LIV) It is no wonder then that Paul described the last days as a “perilous” time when men would become obsessed with pleasure. Yes, “evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.”  (II Timothy 3:1-4, 13)

God is extremely patient, but history tells us that a civilization can cross a line of evil where divine mercy is exhausted and divine judgment must fall. Persistence in sin can and will only end in certain doom. “Unnatural vice… sends up a cry to heaven that the righteous Judge must answer.” (5) Once the “cup of iniquity” has become full, sentence is pronounced and overwhelming punishment is sure to come.

It seems as though the pervasiveness of the national moral decay that began in the ‘60s has intensified over the past decade. How much farther can we as a people go before facing God’s wrath? Only God knows the answer to that question.

(1) Dr. Judith Reisman, Images of Children, Crime and Violence in Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler (1953-1984).

(2) New York Daily News, May 12, 2002.

(3) Jan LaRue, Part II: The Road to Perversion Is Paved With Pornography, Human Events Online, 4/20/2006.

(4) Ibid.

(5) J. O. Dykes, The Biblical Illustrator, Gen. 18.

For many years, I was a man who lived under sin’s dominion, not understanding, even as a “Christian,” that freedom and healing were possible. The major problem was that I was trying to overcome the temptation to sin without dealing with the hidden cancer of indwelling sin in my own heart.

I have seen this scenario played out in the lives of countless others who have come to Pure Life Ministries looking for help to overcome their sexual sin. Like many others, my idea of victory was that God would somehow zap me and take away all my desires for sin. I had no understanding that the struggle with sin is a daily battle every Christian must endure.

Intellectually, we understand that when Adam ate of the forbidden fruit, by this “one man’s disobedience many were made sinners.” (Romans 5:19a) All of us are born with a sinful nature, rendering our desires naturally bent toward sin. What we may not fully comprehend, however, is that because of this we are all in a fight for our lives. Sin, left untreated in the human soul, will grow like a cancerous tumor and eventually destroy the soul. Sexual sin is a particularly malignant variety, but the truth is that every human being has this same diagnosis of sin-cancer.

Cancer is a serious condition and, like sin, must be understood so we can treat it properly. In a natural cancer of the body, the genetic material (DNA) of a cell has become damaged or changed, producing mutations that affect normal cell growth and division. That’s what happened in a spiritual sense when Adam ate of the forbidden fruit. Our spiritual DNA became damaged. Paul understood this problem of indwelling sin when he said, “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24)

“Very few things strike fear into the heart of a person like hearing the words of a doctor saying, ‘You have cancer.’” I couldn’t help but think about my mother-in-law when I read those words the other day. I asked her what it was like when she was diagnosed with cancer, and she told me the first thought she had after hearing the diagnosis from her doctor was, “I’ll go through whatever I have to, to get rid of this.” From the outset she understood it would be a radical treatment and difficult road ahead. It would be a fight for her life.

The Initial Treatment: “Surgery”

As Christians, we have to come to grips with the same reality, realizing that overcoming our sinful flesh will be an ongoing battle until the day of Christ. The Scriptures portray the life of faith as a fight. In other words, faith involves waging a daily battle against sinful desires. (I Timothy 6:12-14) I am aware that for those bound in sexual sin or other habitual ungodly behaviors, it may seem impossible to overcome the powerful tug of their sinful desires. Many of the men and women who come to us for help are steeped in this hopeless outlook because of their many years of failure.

But here is the good news: “For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man’s obedience many will be made righteous.” (Romans 5:19) Jesus Christ not only made a way for you and me to be cleansed from our sin, but also to be freed from its curse and redeemed from its dominion over us. That is the message of the Cross, the message which the Bible says “is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” (I Corinthians 1:18)

Obviously the entrance to appropriating the power of the Cross is through brokenness and repentance. Undoubtedly this can be a painful process, akin to a surgeon’s knife that cuts into the flesh and exposes a cancerous tumor. After years of resistance, I finally experienced this, many years ago now, when God hemmed me in at Pure Life Ministries. For the first time in my life I lay still on the operating table and allowed His Word and the discerning eye of His Holy Spirit to expose the hideous sin that permeated me. Coming to repentance was painful, but I can tell you that there is no greater sense of relief and joy for a sinner than knowing he has been cleansed from his sin. That really is the message of the Cross, but it doesn’t end there.

The Long-term Treatment: “Lifestyle”

Cancer patients aren’t content with just removing the malignant tumor, they want all traces of their cancer to be eradicated. They understand that other measures are necessary to truly eliminate all remnants of cancer from the body. It’s no different for those delivered from habitual sin; they still have to deal with their sinful nature.

Although there are many things we must do to battle against our natural inclination to sin—such as removing things in our homes, reevaluating relationships, reconsidering some of the places we go, or the things we do for recreation and entertainment, as well as learning to actually do the things Scripture teaches are good and right— these efforts alone will not suffice.

Let me put it this way. After the lung cancer is diagnosed, simply quitting smoking isn’t enough. So too with sin, it’s not enough to offer a few behavioral modification tactics.

When it comes to overcoming and dealing with the problem of indwelling sin, there is an essential ingredient in the prescribed cure that has no substitute. I have seen men and women go through our counseling programs, experiencing the initial deliverance and freedom that comes through an encounter with the Cross, only to later relapse into old sinful patterns. They may wonder how this happened to them, but the common denominator among those I speak with is that they started to neglect the regimen of ongoing treatment which is required to keep the spirit-man cancer free.

{{blog-bwalk="/blog-ads-storage"}}

I cannot emphasize it enough: If we want to win this battle over our indwelling sin, we need daily exposure to God’s presence through a substantive devotional life in the secret place with God. When it comes to winning the war within, this really is the core of what I’m intending to convey.

The value of having a substantial time with God can hardly be overstated. David proclaimed: “O God, You are my God. Early will I seek You. My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory.” (Psalm 63:1-2) Our lives in this world are like being in a dry and thirsty land, spiritually speaking. We simply cannot make it on our own. We need communion with the Lord if we want to see His power and glory at work in our life.

I recently read a book called The Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge, and he writes,

"Sin is like a cancer; God’s presence is like radiation on that cancer. The longer you’re in His presence, soaking in His Word and basking in His love, the more power you’re ingesting into the very fiber of your being. When you’re in His presence for extended periods, the molecular composition of your soul gets restructured. You start to think differently, you start to have different passions and sinful affections that once pulled at your soul no longer have their former power over you. Powerful things happen inside of you when you spend time with God."

This has been true in my own life. The more time I spend with God, the more I find the power to overcome indwelling sin. Jesus told His disciples to “watch and pray lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mark 14:38) When we aren’t spending time in prayer, we’re relying on our own strength.

Sometimes we want a victory that means no more struggles. But in reality, we are all called to persevere in waging the war within. If you want to experience lasting change and grow in holiness, you must pursue intimacy with Him. When we spend time in His presence regularly, sinful desires weaken and godly desires are strengthened. We have God’s Word on it: “Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a spring. The rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength. Each one appears before God in Zion.” (Psalm 84:5-7)

What happened that night across the Jordan River from Jericho would be spoken of in horror for hundreds of years to come.

For 40 years the Lord had painstakingly purged the love of Egypt out of His people in the wilderness. He had vigilantly protected them from the corruption of the pagan nations of the area. He had even weaned them of the carnal “flesh pots of Egypt.”

Now, as they sat poised to take the Promised Land, Satan used a turncoat prophet named Balaam to teach the Midianites how to destroy them. “This nation has a powerful God protecting them,” he told them. “You will never overcome them by force. However, I have a plan that is infallible.”

The next day, beautiful women arrived in the camp, inviting the Jewish men to a pagan festival that evening. After 40 years of eating manna, the thought of partaking in a lavish feast and sexual orgy was almost too tantalizing to pass up. They came to the sex party by the thousands, gorging themselves on sumptuous food, gulping wine, and indulging in the lewd and filthy perversions associated with Baal worship.

The utter carnality they gave themselves over to that night was bad enough, but there was something even more insidious than that at work here. Satan was not content to rob this new generation of their innocence. He wanted their souls.

The Lord attempted to limit the damage to His people by ordering Moses to have all of the guilty men publicly executed right away. Even as these death sentences were being implemented, one of the men brazenly paraded a Midianite princess through the camp and into his tent. This so provoked Jehovah that He ignited a plague which began sweeping through the nation. Thousands began dying. It was then that Phinehas, one of Aaron’s grandsons, intervened.

Before we conclude the story, however, it could be profitable to examine some of the ways this situation parallels what we are witnessing in today’s Christian world. We too have an enemy bent on our destruction. In a similar strategy, Satan is once again using sex to destroy the lives of God’s people. Over the past thirty years, sexual sin has gained an ever increasing momentum within the Church. The modern version of the Moabite temptress is pornography, which latches itself upon a man’s mind, filling it with evil.

The Modern Church Responses

As I pondered this biblical story in light of our present realities, I began to wonder what it would be like if modern church leaders had been present when this happened. No doubt a council representing the various groups of the Church would have convened.

{{blog-bbaby="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Pastor Denny Denial, who lacks the wherewithal to help those in sexual sin, would have claimed that there really wasn’t a problem. He would become so overwhelmed by his sense of helplessness that he would simply go into denial. “I think you’re making far more out of this than is actually there!”

Self-Righteous Sam would express his disgust for the sinners. In an air of superiority reminiscent of the Pharisees, he would exclaim, “People like that just need to get it together!” His strong sentiments aren’t based in a love for God’s righteousness but in his disdain of anyone who struggles with obvious, outward sin.

Liberal Larry would be aghast at his utter lack of compassion. His solution would be to call for toleration. “I think we just need to embrace these people and make them feel welcome. After all, Jesus didn’t condemn sinners; He loved them!” In his humanistic form of mercy, he equates God’s love with a lack of concern over sin.

Religious Ron would see everything in simplistic terms. He has a formula for every situation he is likely to encounter. “If the person has confessed Christ with his mouth then he is saved and God’s grace covers all of his sin!” He has adopted a mindset that overemphasizes grace to the point that people’s behavior doesn’t really matter—as long as they have said THE prayer!

Carl the counselor wouldn’t come right out and claim that the offending parties were innocent of wrongdoing, he would simply spend so much time focusing on the lack of proper emotional nurturing they had received as children, that he would soon convince himself that they had no other alternative available to them. “What kind of behavior would you expect of them?” he would demand; “Look at how they were raised!”

God’s way of dealing with these sinners that day would have left this group shocked and appalled.

The Biblical Priest’s Response

When Phinehas realized that the plague sweeping through the camp was a direct result of this shameless couple’s tryst, he grabbed a spear and ran to their tent. The two were locked in the throes of passion when the young priest burst in upon them and thrust the spear through both of them.

Phinehas was clearly God’s champion on this day. So impressed was the Lord with this young man’s decisive action that He immediately decreed that he and his descendants would perpetually retain the position of high priest. This is the kind of holy zeal the Lord wanted at the top of the priesthood.

And it was this very thing which David prophesied about the coming Messiah when he wrote, “For zeal for Your house has consumed me...” (Psalm 69:9) Yes, it is true that Jesus befriended sinners, but only in the hopes of leading them into the kind of repentance that would set them free of the shackles of sin.

How different is the feeble and spineless Jesus who is presented by many today. In the Foreword to Eric Ludy’s excellent book, The Bravehearted Gospel, Ben Davenport writes the following:

“We have wholeheartedly embraced the sentimental, watercolor Jesus that seems to spend most of His time holding lambs and patting children on the head with some faraway, glazed-over, dreamy look in His eye. And we tend to shy away from, or altogether ignore, the man who spoke the truth of God so boldly that conspiracies were hatched, witnesses were bribed, politicians were entreated to bring about His painful and public execution… What do we do with that Christ who puts down the lamb and mounts the temple steps with whip clenched in white-knuckled fist…?”

We don’t like to think of Jesus in this way, but it was His Spirit that invoked the zeal of Phinehas that day. We might as well admit the fact that just because God is no longer striking people dead for their sin that does not negate His abhorrence of it. God still hates sin and there will be a day of reckoning for all those who flout His commandments.

The truth is that a lust for sin has swept through the modern Church. The great need for today is not teachers who look to explain away the guilt of sin but those who will call for its immediate eradication. We need leaders who will see sin through the eyes of a holy God. We need leaders who are willing to help the penitent and lovingly discipline the unrepentant.  We need leaders with the fire of Phinehas!