Timeless Truths: We must be on guard against any teachers that appeal to our fleshly desires.
New sermon: Nate Danser helps unveil God’s hatred for sin in order to grasp the true weight of His mercy.
This episode: Athletes need a coach. Sick people need a doctor. Entrepreneurs need a mentor. Sex addicts need someone to disciple them.
Check out the amazing story of how God stepped in to save Bob and Lori’s lives and marriage.
Sexual temptation has been one of the devil’s chief weapons against believers since the earliest days of civilizations.
Conveniently located on the busiest corner in the city, directly across the street from the library and next door to the public restrooms, I couldn’t miss the building. Its proprietors, having ingeniously carved little signs into the sidewalks around town, directed me right to it.
Once inside, I followed a long snake-like hallway through the maze of tiny rooms—just big enough for a single-sized bed in each. As I made my way past each of those cubbyholes, I began to ponder the fate of the girls who once worked in this house of prostitution. You see, this establishment has been closed down for some time now. It is located in the ruins of the city of Ephesus, in the province of Asia.
Walking through the ruins, I wondered if some of those early Ephesian Christians frequented this brothel. How many of them were sexual addicts? What did the First Century pastors of that church—men like Paul, Timothy, and John—do to help those struggling saints? One thing is for sure: they didn’t pass them off to a psychologist! No, it is certain they turned to the Word of God, the ONLY source of wisdom for a believer struggling with habitual sin.
Today, just as in biblical times, sexual sin continues to be the single greatest cause of defeat for Christian men. While prostitution remains a problem, the greatest area of temptation facing today’s Christian men is pornography. Thanks to the Internet and X-rated videos, we can have an Asian brothel right in our own home.
Nevertheless, just like two thousand years ago, the answers we need are only found in Scripture. Perhaps the following verses from Proverbs 7 are the very words to which those early Christian pastors referred their men. To bring it up to date, I will substitute the word pornography for prostitute in this passage:
Listen to me, young men, don’t let your desires get out of hand; don’t let yourself think about pornography. Don’t go near it, stay away from where it is, lest it tempts you and seduces you. For it has been the ruin of multitudes—a vast host of men have been its victims. If you want to find the road to hell, look for the places that offer pornography. (1)
The advice Solomon gives here is just as relevant to us today as it was to the men of the early Church. In this portion of Scripture, he gives us the following important tips:
First, don’t let your desires get out of hand because they will determine the course of your life. Perhaps this is why Solomon said in another section of Proverbs: “Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life.” (Pro. 4:23) Jesus said it this way: “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Mat. 6:21; NASB)
The desires that a person allows to lead him will determine his lifestyle. I can safely say that every Christian I have ever dealt with who had a problem with porn also lived a life that revolved around pleasure and entertainment. Kept in their proper perspective, one can have his little indulgences in this world. Unfortunately, many men believe that they should be able to fill their lives with them.
Solomon is telling men struggling with habitual sexual sin that they cannot expect to break the addiction to immorality until they first change their lifestyle of pleasure that is making it possible for this addiction to thrive. A man must change the course of his life from one that revolves around carnal desires to one that is centered upon the things of God.
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The second piece of advice given is to avoid those places known to harbor temptation. Once more we turn to the words of Solomon, again substituting the metaphor of the prostitute with that of pornography:
Young men, listen to me, and never forget what I’m about to say: Run from pornography! Don’t go near where it is, lest you fall to its temptation and lose your honor, and give the remainder of your life to the cruel and merciless, lest strangers obtain your wealth, and you become a slave of foreigners. (Pro. 5:7-10)
The second pointer the old wise king gives is to avoid those areas that house sexual temptation. For men today, this means more than staying away from the obvious sensuous places such as the red light district where porn shops, strip clubs, and massage parlors abound. It means that we must cut off every avenue the enemy might use to lure us into sin.
Obviously, if the Internet is the source of the problem, then the struggling believer must find a way to protect himself from it. I will offer a couple of ideas here. The first possibility is to get a good online filter that will protect you from having access to anything pornographic. Another possible solution is to have a password that only your wife knows, so that it is not possible to get on the Internet without her presence. If for some reason these two answers will not provide the protection you need, then you simply must disconnect your computer from the Internet—you cannot afford not to.
That brings us to Solomon’s final tip: guard your minds and hearts. If you sit around thinking about the Asian brothel, it will only be a matter of time before you find yourself headed downtown. The following quotation comes from At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry:
The initial step into sin is allowing the thought of temptation to fester. It is extremely difficult to thwart the processes of thought once entertained. James said that a person is tempted “when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust...” This illustrates a man’s lust actually picking him up and carrying him to a place where he cannot defend himself and then enticing him. It is almost as if his carnal desires momentarily take control of his mind and carries him away to some dream world where he is then utterly defenseless. Once there, he is swallowed up in the evil imaginations of his own sick heart.(2)
The best time to stop a temptation is when it first starts. When a man begins contemplating the temptation, the sin becomes larger and larger in his mind. Before long, all of the consequences of sin—hurting loved ones, drifting further from God, and so on—are crowded out of his mind by the delicious thought of sin. The time to fight temptation is when it first appears.
It is very easy to allow the mind to drift into sensuality but very important to stop carnal thinking in its tracks! There are no “pat answers” that stop enticing thoughts, but there are three things a man can always do: Ask the Lord for strength to endure, read the Word, and focus one’s thoughts on the things of God. There is always a “way of escape” for those who look for it!
My visit to the Asian brothel was a reminder that sexual temptation has been one of the devil’s chief weapons against believers since the earliest days of civilization. But along with the problem, the Lord has provided the ageless wisdom found only in Scripture: Don’t let your desires get out of hand; don’t go near it; don’t let yourself think about it!
(1) Unless otherwise noted, Scripture passages are from the Living Bible.
(2) At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry, copyright 2000 by Steve Gallagher.
Single Christians who desire to please and glorify Jesus need not be led astray by the world's views when it comes to finding a spouse.
A dear brother in the Lord named Roberto has a huge fascination with cars, especially sports cars, like the Camaro and any model Porsche. In his native country of Brazil, he and his buddies often spend a Saturday afternoon test driving new cars at a local dealership just for fun. Because a “test drive” is all they are interested in, they never walk away having to worry about monthly payments, fuel prices or maintenance…just the fun and none of the responsibilities associated with owning the car of their dreams.
In today’s society, especially in America, dating is much like test driving a car where casual seekers are just out for a series of fun, commitment-free, recreational adventures, but this approach does not align with foundational biblical principles.
Modern dating was successfully launched during the sexual revolution and spiritual mayhem of the 1960s and many of the principles of biblical dating (courtship) rapidly became less prominent and less important in our society. The practice of courtship offered structure which allowed both parties to get to know each other before encountering emotional and physical entanglements.
Culturally speaking, dating has now become just something you do if you’re single and of age. While many are in it just for the fun and physical, not everyone is so laid-back about it. Some are desperately seeking to find their “soul mate” or someone whom they believe will make them “happy” and will stop at nothing until they’ve finally secured their match.
The Internet offers a smorgasbord of dating sites for those who are seeking to find their “significant (or not so significant) other” to connect with on some level. If you Google the word “matchmaker” you will get some 10 million results, including many targeted to “Christians.” If you enter “dating,” your options increase to more than 400 million!
Unfortunately, survey after survey indicates that many of those who say they are Christian are following on this path right along with the masses. Certainly, the Lord is not pleased, but rather deeply grieved, by the casual, drive-by dating scene that professing Christians are immersed in and with which they are seemingly quite comfortable.
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A young single man who desired someday to be married came to our recent Annual Conference and asked about the biblical view of dating, courtship and finding a spouse. He shared that many of his professing Christian friends and peers had already gotten married and had played the dating game until they “hit the jackpot” and found their spouse. I was able to share with him that, as believers, we must be careful not to embrace the world’s ideas and methods for dating and/or finding a spouse even though multitudes around us are doing so.
The Bible provides authoritative guidance for any sincere, conscientious believer about how to best glorify the Lord in every area of our lives. Second Timothy 3:16-17 says: “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Consequently, single Christians must look to the all-sufficient Word of God to discover how best to glorify Him even in this area of his or her life.
The contemporary dating scene affords countless opportunities to meet members of the opposite sex—who may or may not be a potential marriage partner. The problem is, it is overwhelmingly driven by pure lust and self-centeredness and is often emotionally, physically and spiritually destructive to one or both parties.
So when you look at it through the lens of Scripture, the basic philosophy of modern dating is entirely unbiblical in that it’s mainly about “playing the field” to discover “what one wants” in a spouse, searching to “meet all my needs and desires,” and “finding the right person for me.” Where is the Lord in all this?
Isn’t our calling as single Christians all about loving God and loving others? Shouldn’t we have the mind of Christ even when it comes to dating? “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus…” (Philippians 2:3-5)
Single Christians who care more about pleasing and glorifying Jesus need not be distracted or led astray by the world’s views when it comes to finding a helpmate. Although there’s no actual formula per se concerning how to go about this process, a believer must be prayerful, “…but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
It’s very important to seek the Lord concerning a potential spouse to avoid playing the dangerous, often futile, dating game and following the corrupt, self-centered desires of one’s heart that are contrary to God’s will. One should ask for much grace, wisdom and patience to meet another single, godly person of the opposite sex. A love for Jesus and a desire to live in accordance to God’s will must be number one from the get-go.
When choosing a spouse, earnest Christians should consider these two passages of Scripture among others which stress how important it is for any two Christians to be on the same page spiritually:
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
To avoid getting into an ungodly trap or becoming a stumbling block to one another, a single man and woman must also be purposeful from the onset. This will serve as a guidepost to clearly establish the seriousness of their friendship and the level of their commitment to prayerfully seek and discover God’s will for possible marriage in the future. Being accountable and submitting to godly, parental guidance (depending on one’s age, of course) and/or to one’s spiritual leaders will positively impact any purposeful relationship.
A telling question we Christians must ask ourselves over and over is, “what is my motive” in doing this or that? Is my purpose to please and glorify God by serving others, or is my motive to get something for myself? Is my interest in dating to have fun and be entertained, or is it to glorify God and serve others? Even if you are seeking your “soul mate” and someone you could marry, is your purpose more to find companionship, physical and emotional fulfillment, and social acceptance, or is it to more so to serve and glorify the Lord?
Insert a MEGAPHONE here: Being passionate for purity must be the hallmark of any courtship between a Christian man and woman! Great care must be taken to guard another’s heart during the journey of getting to know each other—whether it eventually leads to marriage or not. Song of Solomon 2:7b warns, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires,” meaning before the proper time—marriage.
Establishing good physical and emotional boundaries will help both parties maintain the utmost level of purity. First Timothy 5:2 instructs men to treat single women as sisters in Christ, “with absolute purity.” In Paul’s letter to the Romans, he instructs believers to behave decently, to avoid sexual immorality, to be clothed with the Lord Jesus Christ and to not make any provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts. (Romans 13:13-14).
The Lord promises “…seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33) In Psalms 37:4 He says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Be encouraged, beloved, the Lord is not stingy but rather desires that you be filled to overflowing. Simply believe Him for this, and you will see the Lord bless you in ways you could never think or imagine.
Men who habitually give over to sexual sin enter their own form of insanity. Their insanity is not primarily of the mind but of the heart.
“The hearts of the sons of men are full of evil and insanity is in their hearts throughout their lives.” (Ecclesiastes 9:3)
Society deems a person insane who has lost touch with reality and has become irrational in his thinking. Such a person has long indulged in extreme pride and self-centeredness and has lost the ability to differentiate between right and wrong, real and unreal.
Men who habitually give over to sexual sin enter their own form of insanity. Although most sexual addicts can still function in life—hold a responsible job, pay the bills, interact with other people—their thinking about sexual (and spiritual) matters becomes extremely irrational. Their insanity is not primarily of the mind but of the heart.
Consider some of the outlandish things sex addicts think and do: the man who ransacks garbage dumpsters looking for a scrap of pornography; the husband who enjoys watching his wife in bed with other men; the exhibitionist who really thinks others will be turned on by seeing his private parts; the “john” who squanders thousands of dollars on empty encounters with call girls; the “peeping tom” who spends countless hours prowling around neighborhoods hoping to catch a glimpse of flesh. These are but a few examples of the bizarre behavior that comes with sexual sin. I haven’t even mentioned the really whacked-out stuff such as S & M, B&D, self-asphyxiation, weird fetishes, cannibalism and so on.
When you really think about it, isn’t the sex addict’s entire fantasy world based upon delusional thinking? Isn’t a guy outside the realm of reality when he imagines himself with a harem of girls who live to satisfy him? Or concocts a mental storyline where the young married woman at work seduces him? Or daydreams about having sex with some famous starlet? And, of course, all of the strange behaviors mentioned above originate in the thought life.
But beyond all of this, there exist a number of interesting characteristic similarities between a sexual addict and an insane person.
The first is that, in the case of both individuals, ‘self’ is enormous. The mentally deranged person is so obsessed with himself that he completely loses sight of other people’s welfare, concerns and rights. He becomes so huge in his own thinking that he sees himself as the center of the universe. The ultimate in this type of crazed thinking is when a man claims to be God or Jesus Christ—something that occurs more frequently than you might realize.
While the typical sexual addict does not become quite this delusional, his thinking is gradually permeated by extreme selfishness as he allows his illicit desires to take precedence over everything else in life. For instance, his obsession with pleasure will drive him to do things that will devastate his wife and children. Like the “double-minded man” of James 1, he vacillates between good and evil. When in his right mind, he hates what his actions do to loved ones. But even the best of intentions evaporate when the madness of sensuality overtakes him. Once the fire of lust is ignited within him, everything else fades from view.
Another commonality of the two is that they are both willing to do things that they know will bring harm to themselves. People deemed insane often destroy their lives—and what is so puzzling to those around them is their willingness to do so over the most ridiculous things. (It’s no wonder that “psychotic” people so often end up living on the streets.)
How is it any different for many who are involved in habitual immorality? Consider the homosexual who has illicit encounters with dozens of men, knowing the inevitability of acquiring AIDS. What about the man who commits adultery even though he knows he will lose his wife and children? Think about the man who commits sexual crimes, knowing that a few minutes of indulgence could very well put him in prison for years. What else but madness of mind could cause a person to do things that will only devastate his life?
It is also true in a spiritual sense. The sexual sinner has become so driven by lascivious desires that he purposefully does what his conscience tells him is against his own eternal interests. Charles Finney once wrote: “Sinners act as if they were afraid they should be saved. Often they seem to be trying to make their salvation as difficult as possible… They rush upon damnation as if it were heaven, and flee salvation as if it were hell. Is this exaggeration? No; this is only the simple truth. Sinners press down the way to hell as if it were the chief good of their existence, and shun the way to heaven as if it were the consummation of evil.”
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A third common denominator between these two people is that they both treat fiction as truth and truth as fiction. This, of course, is what defines a person as insane—losing touch with reality.
But isn’t this also the case with the “Christian” sexual addict? For instance, he can read the warning in a passage of Scripture such as First Corinthians 6:9-10 (Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals… will inherit the kingdom of God.) and walk away convinced that it does not apply to him! Only madness in the heart can account for such self-deception.
Another commonality of these two is that they both make trivialities the focus of their lives. When you see a “bag lady” pushing her cart full of junk down the sidewalk, each piece of which she treats as though it were a priceless jewel, you know instinctively that she has slipped over the line into insanity.
How is it any different for the man who has the treasures of heaven within his grasp, but squanders them for a few fleeting experiences of pleasure? Sex has become such an enormous idol in his heart that everything in life revolves around it. Sex has its place amongst a number of other interests in life for the normal person, but it becomes everything for the sex addict.
The final common denominator between the insane person and the sexual addict I will mention is that they both lose their sense of trust for others—even those whom they should know only have their best interests in mind. It goes without saying that many delusional people think that others are against them. They imagine the zaniest conspiracies: everybody is out to get them.
The sex addict can also become paranoid. “The wicked flee when no one is pursuing,” Solomon wrote, “but the righteous are bold as a lion.” (Proverbs 28:1) The guilt over one’s behavior can have this effect upon a sinner’s thinking. Since his secret actions are so huge in his mind, he imagines that other people know what he has done. His guilt drives him into the most delusional thinking. Of course, it goes without saying that in both cases, paranoia flourishes when self is huge. The bigger a person’s self-life, the more he imagines that others are thinking about him. What a letdown when he discovers that other people think very little about him!
For the Christian (???) sex addict, this suspicion carries over into his relationship with God as well. He reads and hears about the love of God, but his irrationality causes him to vacillate between extremes of presumptuous pride (“God’s grace covers all my sins!”) and unbelief about God’s benevolent character (“If He really loved me, He would deliver me!”). The insanity of his sin motivates him to buy into the same falsehood that Satan has been proliferating ever since the Garden: that he—and not God—is man’s true benefactor.
There is one remaining factor that must be touched upon: no one has ever been as sane and as in touch with reality as Jesus Christ. In my book, Counseling the Sexual Addict, I wrote the following:
What a comfort to know that Jesus Himself is the teleios for every believer. He is “the hope of glory.” Indeed, He was the most “together” person who has ever lived. Jesus possessed an astounding level of emotional maturity. He did not carry around the emotional baggage that inevitably accompanies sin—He was full of the Holy Spirit. (Luke 4:1) Although He was called the “Man of Sorrows” (because He grieved over the hardheartedness of those He ministered to), He was also an extremely joyful person. Children would look into His face and find a gracious, inviting expression. It is this marvelous person whom we are called to emulate. His life epitomizes spiritual and emotional well-being.
The truth is that a person will only find relief from the insanity of the fallen human mind to the degree that they surrender to God. Rightly did Paul write, “The mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law…” (Romans 8:7 AMP) The purpose for the process of sanctification is to replace that faulty, selfish mindset with God’s thinking.
Yes, there are many comparisons between the insane person and the sexual sinner, but the good news is that as we immerse ourselves in the Word of God, earnestly living out its principles, we shall “know the truth and the truth shall make us free.”
Some say that the issue of homosexuality has brought the Church to a crossroads. But we actually took a wrong turn a long time ago.
Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! (Isaiah 5:20-21)
These verses bear witness to the stark reality of what is occurring in our nation today. In so many fundamental areas of our society we are calling evil good and good evil. We openly celebrate and glory in those things that should be to our shame. (Philippians 3:19) It’s as if a flood of evil has been unleashed, a raging torrent intent on sweeping away any trace of what is truly good. Homosexuality is an issue at the forefront of this flood.
The gay agenda is a thriving topic amidst the plethora of information and news flooding the internet and other media each day. Unlike any other time in history, television sets nationwide have been inundated with endearing images of gays and lesbians. Gay rights continues to be at the forefront of our country’s political and legal issues, and for the first time in our nation’s history a President of the United States fully backed the homosexual agenda--even to the point of endorsing same-sex marriage.
More concerning to me, however, is that the Church has not escaped the pressure to conform to the gay agenda. Mainline denominations have changed their positions and are now readily ordaining gay and lesbian pastors and leaders, and enthusiastically performing same-sex marriages. Foundational truths of God’s Word which have been solidly in place for thousands of years are being recklessly swept aside.
Some have said that the issue of homosexuality has brought the Church to a crossroads. But I believe we came to the crossroad—and took a wrong turn—a long time ago.
Homosexuality isn’t the issue here; that’s just the tip of the iceberg. In truth, what we are seeing now is simply the result of veering away from the authority of God’s Word over a period of decades, though many of these deviations may have seemed insignificant at the time. At its very core, the real issue is a rejection of God and a suppressing of His truth in favor of being wise in our own eyes. (Romans 1:18-22) To put it plainly, we are in pride and rebellion against God.
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Homosexuality is just one manifestation of a society that rejects God. The full consequence on a society of suppressing His truth is a people “filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.” (Romans 1:29-32)
For decades now, certainly since the 1960s, we have seen a steady increase in all these things not only in society but even in the Church. When we began deviating from scriptural truth, it was like a crack in the dam. Uncorrected, this crack has now become an open floodgate of evil.
The warning signs have been visible for years. The very existence of Pure Life Ministries testifies to this fact. And, since the early 1990s, we have seen a dramatic increase in the pervasiveness of men and women in the Church who are given over to sexual sin and lusts of all kinds.
In fact, I am afraid we have already become the Church Paul foresaw when he warned of the coming time when “they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.” (2Timothy 4:3- 4) Just the fact that the church world would even debate whether the Bible teaches that homosexuality is sinful bears out this truth.
Recently I read an article by Dr. Michael Brown in which he said, “Without a doubt, this issue will become a great dividing line in the Church. It points to a much deeper divide in our approach to God, His Word, and the people He wants to redeem. Ultimately, it will separate those who put God first and ask, ‘How can I fulfill His desires?’ from those who put themselves first and ask, ‘How can He fulfill my desires?’”
I’m thoroughly convinced that the separation will become clearer and clearer, with those who have conformed their lives to the Gospel Jesus proclaimed on the one side and, on the other side, those who have created a gospel that conforms to their lives.
Jesus said, “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)
The true believer on the Narrow Way lives with God at the center of his or her life. They receive His Word with meekness and are doers, not merely hearers, of the Word. (James 1:21-22) They seek to do His will and those things that are pleasing in His sight. (Hebrews 13:21; 1John 3:22) They don’t live by the dictates of the flesh but are led by the Spirit; they are true sons of God. (Romans 8:12-14)
Those on the Broad Way are those who have embraced false teachings, based on the principles and philosophies of this world, and not on Christ. (Colossians 2:8) They have exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worship the creature rather than the Creator. (Romans 1:25) They put self at the center and relegate God, at best, to the outer fringe of their life. They really love pleasure rather than God, and have a form of godliness but deny its power; they profess to know God, but deny Him by their lifestyle. (2Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1:16)
Paul warned the church at Philippi about the “many who walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame—who set their mind on earthly things.” (Philippians 3:18-19) The truth is they will not hear the Word of God, but delight in hearing flattering words that cater to their fleshly desires. This will ultimately be the cause of their destruction. Many will say in that day, “Lord, Lord!” Yet Jesus will say, “I never knew you, depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.” (Matthew 7:21-23) Frightening words, but surely a depiction of the woe Isaiah prophesied for those who call evil good and good evil.
We must return to the Word of God and resist this flood of evil. Enough souls have been washed away already.
So, here is the decisive issue all professing Christians face today: Will you be one of the many who reject the authority of the Word of God for your life, or will you be one of the few who will, by the power of the Holy Spirit, conform your life to the Word of God?
The separation that must happen for the true Church to arise has already begun and I, for one, welcome it. I believe a great harvest of souls will be rescued through the few who are holding fast to God’s Word. I believe this because we have a promise in His Word that, “when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.” (Isaiah 59:19) In other words, God Himself will go before His Church lifting up the standard against the enemy.
In fact, this is what we are seeing at Pure Life Ministries. It is not only our core mission but also our fervent desire to be “a servant of the Lord” helping the countless precious souls taken captive by the enemy “come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil.” (2 Timothy 2:24-26) What a privilege it is for us to be part of the Last-Days-Remnant-Church that is standing firm for the truth and glory of God.
King David's lust-filled look at Bathsheba must have made angels weep. How could a man with such a heart for God stoop to such debauchery?
The sight of the Sweet Psalmist of Israel leering at Bathsheba from his rooftop must have been enough to make angels sit down and weep. How could the man with a heart after God stoop to such debauchery? It can happen more easily than you might think.
David had a unique hunger for the Lord from the time he was a young boy tending sheep in the wilderness. His spiritual appetite intensified as he spent time with Samuel and deepened during his years of running for his life from Saul. Undoubtedly, David was hitting his spiritual peak when he became king at the age of 30. Yet, within 20 years, he had committed the unthinkable: he had lured Bathsheba into adultery and had her husband killed. What a tremendous blow this was to the Kingdom of God!
How could it happen? The same way it can—and does—happen to 21st Century Christian leaders. There were clear warning signs long before David committed his wicked deeds—warning signs that we too would be wise to watch for.
By the time he was in his forties, David had experienced the depths of God, penned most of the Psalms and led Israel to great victories. All the while he was headed straight for disaster. He couldn’t see it coming because he—like many natural leaders—had been blinded by a sense of invincibility. Some, who have lost sight of their need for God’s daily grace, boast, “I will never fall!” However, the apostle Paul strictly warns, “Take heed.”
In my 30 years of helping men find freedom from sexual sin, there are certain red flags I have learned to watch for regarding those in ministry: prayerlessness, pressure, prosperity, pleasure and power.
It seems that the dangers and spiritual hunger that had kept David pressed into the Lord in his younger years were gradually replaced by a sense of satisfaction and security. Though no outward lack of godliness was visible, we can easily suppose that his inward panting for God’s abiding presence began to diminish. Consequently, over time he lost his intimate connection with God.
In my years of helping fallen pastors, I have never had to minister to a “Mary,” but I have dealt with many “Marthas.” In other words, those who stay at the feet of Christ are not nearly as susceptible to sexual temptation as those who do not. Paul said, “If you walk in the Spirit, you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16) The sensuous and seductive atmospheres that the enemy creates are very intoxicating to those who allow the busyness of ministry to crowd out their time with God.
Jesus helped Martha to see that, while her intentions were noble, her efforts were misplaced. He told her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only a few things are necessary, really only one, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42) Corrie Ten Boom also once warned, “Beware of the barrenness of a busy life.”
God used David’s leadership to usher the nation of Israel into its most prosperous and powerful period ever. However, as his government and military grew, so did the degree of his responsibility. The crushing weight of high-intensity leadership tends to drain a person’s spiritual vitality—often at a time when he needs it most!
Many Church leaders face the same kind of stress today, which can be a setup for disaster. Scripture offers the solution when it says to, “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.” (Romans 13:14) Those in top positions, burdened under countless concerns, desperately need the abiding presence of Christ.
How dangerous it is to seek relief from stress by turning to the world! Making provision for the flesh literally means to provide for its sustenance—to keep it alive and healthy. For example, this is what the believer who watches television does to himself. Let’s face it; most TV programming nowadays is the enactment of all of the deeds of the flesh and does far more to corrupt than to edify. What may begin as a means to relax, entertain or unwind will almost inevitably lead to a quenching of God’s Spirit and a downward spiral spiritually.
The Christian leader carrying the weight of ministry cannot afford to diminish his spiritual life. Anything that leads him to Jesus will strengthen his faith; anything that leads him away from God will deplete his spiritual storehouse. This leaves him at risk to the enemy’s attacks.
The great sacrifices David made for the Kingdom of God during his early years by no means went unnoticed by the Lord. When He confronted David through Nathan, God told him, “...I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.” (II Samuel 12:8 NIV) For 20 years David reaped the bounty of God’s goodness to him. Unfortunately, that very prosperity led him into years of self-indulgence, which in turn left him spiritually weak and vulnerable.
I doubt if there is anything that brings more joy to the Father’s heart than to bless those who have shown their faithfulness to Him through years of hardship. Those who have risen through the ranks of Church leadership are often compensated for their efforts monetarily. This is as it should be, for the Bible says, “The laborer is worthy of his wages.” (I Timothy 5:18)
I believe the purpose behind this injunction is that the extra finances afforded to the minister will allow him to be freed from some of the petty concerns of daily life so that he might be able to give himself more thoroughly to the work of God. However, there is always an inherent danger with wealth, as it tends to diminish a person’s reliance upon God. Furthermore, a man who has money has more opportunity and ability to become involved in immoral activity.
David’s prosperity and prominence allowed him to lavish himself with pleasure. No wonder then that when he saw Bathsheba, he had no inner strength to withstand the temptation to take her for himself.
This should be a subject of grave concern for any modern-day believer since Paul warned that in the last days many would be “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power…” (II Timothy 3:4-5)
Kept in the right perspective, pleasure has its proper place in life. However, when gratification becomes overly important in one’s daily existence, it not only corrodes one’s spiritual life, but it eventually chokes out everything that is wholesome.
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Pornography and illicit sexual activity are merely forms of extreme pleasure. Therefore, the person who becomes addicted to pleasure and entertainment might find himself at extreme risk to sexual temptation. The apostle Paul spoke of those who are “enslaved to various lusts and pleasures.” (Titus 3:3)
The old adage is true: “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” David’s life proves that everybody is susceptible to the hideous, subtle influences of pride. It is very easy for the person who is reveling in the limelight of fame to become inflated with feelings of self-importance. This is a slippery slope that often leads to a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)
Perhaps King David thought he deserved Bathsheba, that she was a just reward for a man who had given so much to Israel. And herein lies the danger of prominence: even the minister who begins his work serving the needs of others can arrive at a place where he sees himself as being so important that they should meet his needs. In other words, he has gone from seeing himself as a servant to that of a master.
Alexander MacClaren once said, “The humble mind thinks not of its claims on others, but of its duties to them.” One of the reasons a Christian leader will fall into sexual sin is that he has lost his sense of stewardship and his responsibility to the public to live above reproach. Once this has occurred, he is only one step away from disaster.
David’s life was never the same after his great moral debacle. The remainder of his life was marked by hardship, adversity and more failure. This is always the case when a man falls into horrible sin after reaching a position of great influence over God’s people. James ominously warned, “Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.” (James 3:1)
One prominent radio preacher who fell into sin shared the following with me: “There are simply no words to describe the pain and agony my wife and I went through during the weeks, months, and years that followed. Not only were we rejected by those we considered to be our friends, but both the elders and the entire staff of the church refused to have any contact with us whatsoever. Yes, indeed, my ministry was shattered as a result of my own foolishness.”
Christian broadcasting professionals have been given a tremendous opportunity to positively impact the spiritual lives of millions of people for the glory of God. But with this wide-open door comes a grave responsibility to uphold that stewardship with integrity of heart and an undying passion for Christ.
Perhaps the words of my friend who has suffered so much from his one mistake will serve as an appropriate conclusion: “I hope you will carefully consider my words. If I have to drive a truck for a living, I’ll spend the rest of my days warning men about the dangers of lust. Gentlemen, please be very careful!”
A wife whose husband truly desires victory, but occasionally stumbles, should remain hopeful. God is at work in his heart.
When my husband Steve came to the Lord in 1982, I naturally assumed that his sexual escapades were over and done with. But like many newborn believers, his zeal for the Lord was no match for the lustful desires still stirring deep within him. Three weeks after his conversion, he fell back into sin. For a long period afterwards, He had spurts of victory followed by relapses into pornography and illicit sex. I was devastated, and I couldn’t imagine much good ever coming out of his failures.
At times I questioned his sincerity. “How can he say that he loves God and loves me and still return to his sin?” I asked myself. I was very idealistic about spiritual matters. To me it was simple: you repent, you turn away from sin, and then you get on with life. The inconsistency in his walk with the Lord led me to think that Steve didn’t mean business.
Eventually, I realized that he was in the fight of his life and hadn’t become addicted overnight. Sex was his biggest idol even before he got saved. For years his mind was a fantasy warehouse where he stored volumes of pornographic images. He had had countless sexual encounters before and after we got married.
My husband’s experience helped me to see that in order to break free from sexual addiction, a man can’t simply flip a switch that completely shuts down his sex drive. It is unrealistic—and unwise—for any wife to think that one experience of brokenness at an altar will be the last of her husband’s struggles. In our society today, complete immunity against sexual temptation is virtually impossible. Nevertheless, a wife whose husband truly desires victory, but occasionally stumbles, should remain hopeful. God is at work in his heart.
Breaking free from habitual sin is almost always a process, and failures often serve as springboards to real freedom. Very few sex addicts are zapped. Therefore, setbacks are to be expected—despite any resolve to find freedom. Each of us was born with a natural propensity to sin. Only after a person gets sick and tired of wallowing in the pigpen and reaping the consequences, will he begin to hate his sin.
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A godly wife must find a balance between patiently bearing her struggling husband while refusing to tolerate insincerity and unfaithfulness. Often it can be difficult to discern when someone is having a temporary setback as opposed to someone who is not serious about quitting.
A man who really wants to break free must show some willingness to change and make the necessary steps that will lead to long-term freedom. Although I was devastated by Steve’s repeated failures, I never lost hope because it was obvious he was desperate to find God. Because of the depth of his sin, our marriage would have quickly fizzled out had he not permitted the Lord to deal with him. Many times his sin brought me almost to a breaking point, but God was faithful to give me the grace to endure. If your husband is battling habitual sexual sin, I encourage you to focus your attention on three things:
Don’t stare at the overwhelming mountain of your husband’s sin, look to God who moves mountains. It is imperative that you spend quality time with the Lord everyday to maintain this kind of faith. If you don’t do this, your hope won’t be based upon the reality of what the Lord can do but upon how well your husband is doing. This is an easy set up for much heartache and grief. Your hopes of him ever changing will be dashed often.
If your husband has demonstrated a desire to change, believe the best. Perhaps you have tried to do this in the past and have been disappointed when he failed. It is very likely that this kind of disappointment comes whenever you zero in on his failures instead of examining the overall pattern of his life. If you seek the Lord for yourself, you are less likely to brood over his past sins and will look for the good in your husband. However, if you don’t press into God, his failures will distort your view of him.
Try your best to see the big picture. You and your husband are on a long journey, and hopefully by God’s grace his addiction will only be a small part of it. If you were to draw a ten-inch line on a piece of paper, representing the rest of your lives, this period will appear very small. If you then draw that line with respect to eternity, this season of your life will barely be distinguishable—it will appear as a tiny dot!
You must have the proper perspective; otherwise your husband’s failures will paralyze you emotionally and spiritually. As a child of God, you cannot allow his setbacks to cripple you. To avoid going off into despair when your husband fails, focus on the One who is Sovereign over all things, on your husband’s efforts to change, and on the big picture. Then before long your faith will once again soar like an eagle!
Over the past few years a disturbing new trend has emerged: women viewing pornography in alarming numbers.
Susan’s face betrayed her disgust the first time her husband suggested they watch an adult movie together. “Honey, not only will it enhance our lovemaking,” Jim exclaimed, “but I won’t need to have a sex life separate from you. It will end all the sneaking around.”
She had long since given up hope of him quitting his online addiction, but this was too much. “We are Christians, Jim,” she protested, “and this is wrong!”
“Wrong?” Jim argued. “I know of Christian therapists who suggest couples use it to improve their sex lives. How can that be wrong?”
After years of dealing with Jim’s secret sex life, Susan eventually acquiesced and joined what is becoming an ever-increasing number of Christian women who regularly view pornography. This phenomenon bucks the “cw” that it is men who are visually stimulated and thereby more prone to viewing porn. Traditionally, women are far more likely to engage in wistful, romantic fantasies than crude scenes of people engaging in sexual acts. However, over the past few years a disturbing new trend has emerged: women viewing pornography in alarming numbers.
To illustrate, Nielsen NetRatings reports that nearly one-third of the visitors to adult websites are female. They estimate that 9.4 million women in the United States accessed online pornography in September 2003. (1)
A recent article in Today’s Christian Woman seems to support their assertions. “One out of every six women, including Christians, struggles with an addiction to pornography,” claims authoress Ramona Richards. “That’s 17 percent of the population, which, according to a survey by research organization Zogby International, is the number of women who truly believe they can find sexual fulfillment on the Internet.” (2)
I personally have my doubts that 17% of Christian women are viewing pornography. Nevertheless, even half that amount represents a very distressing number of women.
Jim introducing Susan to the world of adult entertainment is typical of how most females become involved. The first time he brought home a movie, she was shocked at what she saw. It was so revolting to her that she tried to ignore the scenes being played out on their bedroom television set, instead focusing her attention on her husband. As for Jim, she had never seen him so passionate toward her. It was thrilling! Susan grappled with what she had done over the next few days, vacillating between guilt and excitement. In the end, she made a conscious decision that she was willing to exchange her self-respect for his affection.
Just as Jim had promised, there was a heightened level of excitement in their intimacy that hadn’t been there since their wedding night twenty-some years before. Once she got past the initial shock of the explicitness, she actually came to look forward to their “special times” on Saturday nights. The intense pleasure of these experiences gave them something they could share together.
One thing that was a bit surprising to Susan was the quality of the videos. They weren’t the cheaply produced films she had come to expect. The world of adult entertainment had its own producers, directors, camera crews, stars and starlets. Everything was top-notch. Over time, Susan began to not only enjoy the effects of the movies on their sex life but the movies themselves. While Jim was fascinated with body parts and explicit scenes, Susan was drawn to the seductive storylines and her favorite actors—and actresses. Yes, a lust for women had been kindled within her.
Their relationship seemed idyllic those first few weeks. Although Susan had to silence her guilty conscience and stifle her nagging concerns, she and Jim got along better than ever before. But, as we all know, the pleasure of sin only lasts for a season. Unbeknownst to her, a very evil, corrupting influence had been loosed deep within her being. The “sex-is-everything” mindset communicated by these motion pictures began to break down many of her inhibitions. She found herself fantasizing about other men—and women. Sometimes she even secretly watched the movies by herself while Jim was at work.
There was another troubling development occurring as well. Their relationship, which had become full of tenderness and devotion, began to deteriorate. Jim became more distant than ever, causing Susan to become suspicious and argumentative. They squabbled over petty differences. What’s more, when they were out in public, Jim openly gawked at every pretty girl he saw. How could Susan scold him, after what she had allowed into their home? Little by little things became worse, until finally, Jim left and Susan filed for divorce. Now, as a middle-aged woman with a failed marriage, the loss of her self-respect and the hollowness of soul that porn produces, she was more miserable than ever.
This case is fairly typical of what occurs when wives allow pornography to be brought into the home. As the number of Christian men addicted to porn continues to increase, it can be expected that the number of wives and girlfriends involved will also grow.
Being led into the sordid realm of pornography by an addicted husband is no longer the only introduction to it. Millennials have grown up in a culture where porn is not only accepted but is pervasive. This has produced a new disturbing trend: single women seeking out internet porn for themselves.
One such person was Julie, a serious-minded, young businesswoman. Like Susan, before becoming involved in porn, Julie’s life would have been considered normal by today’s Christian standards. Although involved with the singles group of her church, she struggled with feelings of loneliness. Julie secretly envied the “bubbly” girls in the group who always seemed to attract the guys. Sometimes she despaired of ever finding “Mr. Right.” For some time she had been watching one of the leading network soap operas, allowing the immorality portrayed on the show to fuel her secret fantasy of being a beautiful seductress.
She was embarrassed one evening when the pastor’s wife came for a visit while the show she had recorded that day was playing on her TV set. The older woman’s face flushed when she saw a torrid love scene being enacted on the screen. Julie’s feigned indignation masked the fact that she had come to enjoy this kind of fare. The truth was that she continually fostered romantic and sexual fantasies about a number of male acquaintances at her job.
Another pastime unexpectedly developed in Julie’s life. One day, she confided her struggles with loneliness to a girlfriend from church. Her friend suggested she visit Christian chat rooms on the Internet where she could develop risk-free relationships with men. At first, she tried it hesitantly and carefully, but before long she was heavily involved. Eventually, she expanded her involvement to include larger, secular chat rooms. Initially, the amount of sexual talk alarmed her, but she gradually became fascinated with it. It was almost like being a starlet in her own soap opera!
Occasionally, Julie would come across messages that posted adult websites. In the beginning, she resisted her curiosity about them, but she finally got to the place where she had no resistance left. One night she impulsively clicked on a link to an adult website. She panicked when an image of a copulating couple popped up on the screen, quickly closing the site with trembling hands. That scene haunted her memory until, a few nights later, she revisited the site. She was so enthralled by what she saw that she was completely drawn in. After the exhilaration of that night her soap opera seemed tame and boring. She found herself returning to the adult websites time and again. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but, despite repeated promises to quit her behavior, she kept going back to it.
Were Susan and Julie (3) normal, “godly” women who were caught off guard in a moment of weakness and succumbed to a powerful temptation? No, I cannot believe that. For good reason the apostle Paul said, “If you walk in the Spirit you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16) The crucial element to a victorious life is not the object of temptation but the spiritual condition of the person being tempted. Perhaps a few pointed questions will help us better focus on the real issues at stake here.
f Susan’s life was right with God, would she have ever agreed to look at a dirty movie in the first place? Wouldn’t she have had the wisdom to know that the outcome of such a decision could only be disaster? She faithfully attended church, but her decisions clearly indicate a very weak (or nonexistent) relationship to God. Paul could have been describing Susan when he said, “But she who gives herself to wanton pleasure is dead even while she lives.” (I Timothy 5:6)
If Julie was truly walking with the Lord, would she have been watching soap operas? Would she have been so obsessed with romance that she would visit online chat rooms? Would she ever have clicked on that first erotic website? The truth about this young lady is that she had long since given over to the “Cosmo girl-me first” mentality so prevalent among today’s young women. Yes, she too attended church faithfully, but the reality was that God was not the center of her existence but rather an add-on to her worldly, selfish life. It was therefore relatively easy for her to cross one moral boundary after another until she stepped across the line into pornography.
These two stories, and the thousands of real ones they represent, reflect how important it is for a shepherd to closely monitor his sheep. As Paul approached the end of his life, it seems that his overriding concern was to do his utmost to see that the Church would stay on course. He shared many powerful truths with his closest confidants, a few of which we can employ to better protect our young women from becoming casualties of the sex-saturated culture in which we live.
Paul understood that, left to themselves, women can easily be led astray. (II Timothy 3:6) To help protect them, he enlisted the aid of a vital resource within the ranks of the churches: godly, mature women. He wrote, “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior… teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:3-5)
Listening to good sermons and reading interesting books can be helpful, but the immature Christian—whatever her age—needs discipleship: she needs a mature saint to take her under her wing, so to speak, and bring godly instruction into her life. A woman may hear sermons, but unless she is held accountable to respond to those words, she will derive only limited benefit. Lost in a crowd of listeners, she can easily ignore and disregard what she is hearing. Paul provided for this problem when he gave the four-fold method of true discipleship: “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.” (II Timothy 3:16)
Most girls and women sitting in our churches are being indoctrinated in the world’s values. They need godly women to instruct them about the Christian life. How should young girls dress? How do they handle dating? Is there anything wrong with watching television sitcoms or soap operas? What does it really mean in our day and age to live a holy life? How can they know their lives are pleasing to God? What can they do to escape the selfishness of our culture? How does a wife handle it when she discovers her husband is addicted to pornography? These are the kinds of practical and meaningful issues about which women simply need to be taught. Perhaps special, temporary classes can be arranged to impart the answers to these important subjects.
Teaching is important, but women also need personal involvement in their lives. Reproof is an important tool to help individuals stay the course. Left to themselves, women can easily stray off the narrow path and, like we saw in the cases above, become totally backslidden. If a godly mentor had been involved in either of those lady’s lives, there is a good chance they would not have gotten so far off track. Reproof comes into play when the mentor sees her “student” going astray. She steps between her and the source of her temptation and in godly love says, “No! You can’t do that!” As Paul said, “...if another Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path...” (Galatians 6:1)
The corrupting effects of the spirit of this world upon the human mind should never be underestimated. It has the power to alter a person’s perspectives, values and attitudes. One of the reasons it is imperative that a believer maintains a vibrant devotional life is because she so desperately needs the constant influence of God’s perspectives upon her thinking. When a mature woman becomes involved in another woman’s life, she will soon discern any areas of her life that do not line up with Scripture. Correction is there for the purpose of helping to guide her back into biblical thinking and living.
Women must also be trained to live righteously. The term used by Paul here (Gk. paideia) is usually translated with the English word discipline. Translators were correct to apply the term “training” here, but it must be understood that it contains within it a stronger sense than one would typically think. There is an element of authority that is connected to this word which is clear in the passages in which it is used: father-son, God-believer and even Pilate-criminal (Jesus). While teaching tends to be impersonal and vague, training is very personal and specific.
Lastly, I want to mention one final principle Paul left with Timothy: “The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” (II Timothy 2:2) This principle also applies to “faithful” women—especially your wife. As you delegate authority to these important soldiers, I believe God will use them to rescue women who might otherwise be headed for disaster.
(1) Jason Collum, “A Woman’s Struggle,” AFA Journal, March 2004.
(2) Ramona Richards, “Dirty Little Secret,” Today's Christian Woman magazine. September/October 2003.
(3) These are fictitious persons who are composites of women to whom we have ministered.
A pattern of masturbation will inexorably feed and fan the flames that burn away any resolve a man or woman may have to live for God.
While serving at Pure Life Ministries, I witnessed over a thousand graduations from our Residential Program—over a thousand celebrations of the miracle-working power of God’s grace! Before he is sent on his way to walk out his new life in Christ, each graduating student is given the opportunity to share a brief testimony from our pulpit. Friends and family often attend this chapel service and share in the graduate’s tears of joy and thanksgiving.
While the details of each story are very different, the pattern is strikingly common: a self-absorbed inner man inevitably giving over to sin and “taken captive by the enemy to do his will.” (2 Timothy 2:26) There is another curious distinction. Almost without exception, each graduation speech declares a life-controlling habit of “self-gratification.”
These are not words to cover up the more base term “masturbation,” but rather a more apt description, at least in spiritual terms, of what it truly is.
I can testify to this in my own life. Beginning in my early twenties, sexual sin was always an issue for me, specifically pornography, fornication, and a thought life ridden with lust. However, not until I gave over to masturbation, in my forties, did sexual sin take control of my life and send me down the path of Romans 1:28-32. By the time I entered the Pure Life Ministries Residential Program in August 2003, the attributes of Romans 1:31 were in full bloom: I was blatantly “undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, and unmerciful.”
Do I blame this all directly on masturbation? No. But I do believe a pattern of masturbation will inexorably feed and fan the flames that burn away any resolve a man or woman may have to live for God and for others.
Pure Life Ministries certainly is aware that masturbation characterizes a phase that nearly every teenager goes through. However, based on scripture, as well as having seen the pattern of “self-gratification” played out over and over and over again in the lives of too many men, we see this as a black and white, right and wrong issue. Our reasons are many fold, and likely deserve a more in depth treatment than this brief article will permit, but they include:
Nevertheless, I’m sure there are those who will remain unconvinced by this list of reasons. So let’s go right to the heart of this issue. There is an even more fundamental consideration than those listed above, an issue that marks every man who comes into our Residential Program.
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Without exception, every man in sexual addiction is a “taker.” Each one has come to a place where he looks at life and people with an attitude of “what’s in it for me.” In fact, this could easily define what lust is, seeking pleasure for self at the expense of others. This is why masturbation, or “self-gratification,” is so natural for them, and so easy to rationalize.
Masturbation—having sex with yourself—is the pinnacle of selfishness.
But the Lord can change a man’s heart, if he is willing, from a taker into a giver, from a man who lusts to a man who loves. Jesus’ words are compelling to this man, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35-36). Love is the opposite of lust. Love seeks pleasure for others at the expense of self.
If this conversion from “taker” to giver does not happen, that man will never walk in lasting victory over masturbation or sexual sin.
The fundamental question for all of us is who are we going to serve? Are we going to live to please ourselves or to please God? Are we going to be concerned with our desires or the needs of others? Are we going to be self-conscious or Christ-conscious and other-conscious? Are we complete and satisfied in Him, or are we not?
In his daily devotional My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers talks to this matter of self-awareness. “Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness will disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is satanic. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady you until your completeness in Him is absolute.” (August 20)
Throughout my life, self-consciousness has always led me down the path of questioning God’s will and His Word, taking liberties that err on the side of allowing me what I want at the expense of what He wants. I was a “taker” through and through, and so God graciously led me to the Pure Life Ministries Residential Program.
Many years ago, when the upscale Italian leather goods manufacturer, Gucci, swept into the market, they had a marketing motto in their stores, “If you have to ask the price, you’re in the wrong place.” Perhaps the analogy is imperfect, but if you’re asking questions like, Is masturbation sin? you just might be in the wrong place spiritually. You may not have yet entered into that place where serving God and loving others rules and reigns.
It is in that place where true peace, joy and lasting victory are found.
When your child is caught with porn, it is a perfect time to show them how to repent, how to depend, and how to grow in sanctification.
As a parent of two, a son and a daughter heading into their teen years, my heart nearly breaks when I hear that children are getting into pornography at earlier and earlier ages. Recently I read that the average age for first exposure to pornography is 11 years old. Moreover, the largest and fastest growing group of internet porn consumers is youth age 12-17.
Perhaps your child is already among those statistics, and you find yourself asking “What now?!”
In the hour of urgency, that dreadful moment when we initially discover our child has been viewing pornography, our first reaction most often will tend toward panic, rigid correction, progressive consequences and the demand for change, coupled with perusing the internet for those magical “10 Steps to a Pure Child.”
The intense emotions of the moment likely blind us from considering the Lord’s role and purpose for the situation. Romans 8:28 may eventually give us assurance that the Lord is sovereign and works all things out for good, but that’s probably not our first thought. As a parent who has dealt with many of the common child-rearing issues, however, I think I’ve finally learned the importance of this passage in Romans for parenting. It’s not always easy, but I’ve learned to step back from the situation, especially when it’s a major issue like viewing pornography, and seek the Lord’s purpose in allowing it to come to the surface.
Many of those who go through Pure Life Ministries’ counseling programs have lived for years, even decades, under the dark cloud of hidden sexual sin. Exposing it in the life of a child is truly a merciful act from a loving Heavenly Father. He aims to provide opportunity for the child to repent before the roots go any deeper. He wants to see it dealt with before it devours their youth and contaminates so many areas of their life. Believe it or not, discovering your child has been viewing pornography should become a unique and wonderful opportunity to check-in spiritually and minister to your child.
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But first, it may be a good idea to step back and consider the Lord’s equally good purpose for you in the situation. Before you can help your child, you must seek the Lord’s mind and heart on the matter. You must be convinced that the Lord, who is also your loving Heavenly Father, intends to use this circumstance for your spiritual benefit. For example, could the Lord intend this as a way of making you more desperate and needy for Him?
As hard as it will be to see this as a gift, if this situation is to be used to bring godliness and greater evidence of the fruit of the Spirit in your life, then is it not truly a gift? Will you accept it? God is giving you this opportunity, this gift, as a time to engage with your son or daughter, to model repentance, to model dependency on the Lord, and to model what it means to grow in sanctification. Your relationship with the Lord and with your child has the potential of growing in depth, width and sweetness as you go through this together.
Even if your feelings say otherwise, could you start by thanking God for this situation? Spend some time just worshiping Him, because you will see His character more fully if you have an open heart and open eyes. Thank Him that this is not just about your child, but about His glory. Pray fervently. You will taste the Lord’s love for you more deeply, so use this time to get what the Lord has for you in this. He loves you so much that He is willing to allow the hardest stuff in your life in order to bring about the ripest fruit.
Developing and maintaining a right perspective on the situation, will go a long way to assist you in preparing yourself to minister to your son or daughter. Perhaps it would also help to remember and rehearse on a regular basis how the Lord has treated you. Do you remember the loads of lumber you have had (and have currently) in your eyes? Are you willing to allow the Lord to deal with that so you can truly be a benefit to your child in these dark days? How often do you repent to the Lord? What does your devotional and prayer life look like? Are you in the habit of dealing with your sin or covering it?
Recall that your child has watched you and the spiritual habits you hold to, and likely sees that as the standard. Think on what he or she has observed. What standard have you been promoting to him spiritually? This is a time to show the mercy God has shown to you. This is a time to dispense to your child the very grace that God has slathered all over you. Do you have a glimpse of His grace? Do you have a glimpse of the Cross? If so, then pass it on to your child. If not, then you have insight into why and how God is intending to use this in your life.
As you have dealt with sin in your life at any level, reflect on what has helped you in the past. What has brought true spiritual formation in your life? Do you have a testimony to share with your child? Would it surprise him or her to know that you have struggled with impurity, pride, selfishness, introspection, lust, greed and the like?
Consider: has the Lord ever refused any of your sin and left you to pay for it on your own? Has God ever yelled at you because you made Him look bad to His friends? Think and pray about how you can work together with your son or daughter to strengthen godly convictions and emulate Christ.
Obviously, your role as parent demands that you discipline your child, and the Bible encourages us to approach our children with gentleness, with humility and with grace. (2 Timothy 2:24-26) Your child is likely embarrassed. He likely knows that what he’s done is wrong. It is not a surprise to your child that you will be disappointed or angry. What will shock him, however, is if you are understanding, compassionate, non-judgmental and non-condemning as you discipline.
Work and pray hard to bring your child, not under condemnation, but to the Cross. If you rant and rave about the sin, about how wrong it is, but do not also highlight the solution in Jesus, then you are not telling the full story. In the same way, if you emphasize your standard and how it must be in YOUR home, without also freely acknowledging how often you fail in your attempt to honor God, then you will be seen as a law-giving Pharisee and your words will undoubtedly blow away from your child like chaff. Go out of your way to affirm your love for your child. Help him understand that he is precious to you, no matter his struggle, but that your goal is to honor the Lord and come alongside him in a way that ultimately helps him honor the Lord.
Seek his or her sincere willingness to accept your help with this. That will enable you to be far more successful in implementing safeguards into his life, such as no privacy in the home when on the computer, an internet filter installed on all devices, and as much vigilance as is practical over activities and friendships outside of the home.
And, never, never stop praying! Only the Lord can be with and protect your child wherever he or she goes. Only the Lord can change his heart’s desires. All you can do is to pray for and model Christ to him. And be encouraged, for the Lord assures us: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
If a person remains in sin long enough, he can reach the terrifying place where he is no longer influenced by the Holy Spirit.
Most people think of hardened criminals and the most duplicitous of men when speaking of someone with a seared conscience. Yet, I believe many in the Church today are also in very real danger of this spiritual phenomenon.
The apostle Paul had a clear understanding of the damaging effects of sin on the human heart. He spoke insightfully of those who were “seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron” (1 Timothy 4:2), and those who “because of the hardness of their heart (have) become callous.” (Ephesians 4:18-19) Both metaphors—the seared conscience and the hardened, calloused heart—describe the same condition.
What is the human conscience? According to Vine’s Dictionary, the Greek word for conscience (suneidesis) literally means to possess “co-knowledge” of something resulting in one’s “sense of guiltiness before God.” Thus, we were created with a unique and intrinsic faculty that gives us a kind of third-person perspective on the rightness and wrongness of our actions.
According to A.W. Tozer, the foundation of the human conscience is “the secret presence of Christ in the world.” To support his conclusions, he points to John 1:9, “There was the true Light which, coming into the world, enlightens every man.” This inward moral awareness is simply the “secret inner voice” of the Lord “accusing or else excusing him.”(1) Tozer very well may be right.
In the physical realm, the conscience is comparable to the human nervous system. When a person is wounded, he feels pain—the body’s inherent means of alerting him that something is wrong. Likewise, when a person sins, the human soul has a warning system that sounds an alarm because the person’s actions have wounded him spiritually. This soul-alarm trumpets, “Mayday! Mayday! Something is wrong!” He senses that his actions are not only wrong but will also result in destructive consequences.
A person with a tender conscience is keenly aware of every infraction against the Lord. He recognizes sin for the ugly thing that it is. Immoral deeds, though seemingly insignificant to others, are viewed by him as monstrous crimes against a holy God. Their importance, while not exaggerated, is internally magnified so that their true, insidious nature may be clearly seen.
The person with a soft heart also remains consistently open to the Holy Spirit’s conviction. He is not looking to push the limits of sin—to see how much he can get away with—but to avoid it altogether. Sin, to him, is a poison which must be eradicated at any cost. The prayer of David expresses the unseen attitude of such a person: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” (Psalm 139:24)
Most people who have experienced a true conversion begin their new life with this kind of spiritual sensitivity. The “eyes of their hearts” have been opened to the wonders of Jesus Christ and His kingdom. Concern over the prospect of doing something against their Savior can actually drive them to run to their pastor over things that seem ridiculous to more seasoned saints.
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Unfortunately, it is often only a matter of time before the “first love” for Jesus dwindles into religious form. As new converts begin to “learn the ropes” of Christianity, a slight hardening of the heart takes place. The deep sense of helplessness that once created such a humble dependence upon the Lord is gradually replaced with spiritual pride. Bright and innocent faith is slowly supplanted by cynicism. Eventually, the world’s attractions regain their carnal luster, old idols are re-erected within the heart, and once-forsaken sins start to resurface.
The Bible describes this process as the “wandering away from” a “good conscience,” (I Timothy 1:5-6) and the corrupting of the conscience (Titus 1:15). Both describe the same process of inner moral decay that occurs when a person allows sin to re-establish itself within their heart. If the person continues along this course, he will soon lose the sense of the evil nature of sin. A perfect illustration of this truth is the way a nonsmoker can become accustomed to the smokiest room—once he has taken up the cigarette habit himself. Clean lungs detect every whiff of pollution; dirty lungs have lost that capability.
The person who habitually gives himself over to sin loses the ability to feel the spiritual “pain” of sin. What happens to people who lose this sense? Consider lepers who experience a similar thing physically. Having lost sensation in their extremities, they are often terribly hurt and can even die because they are unaware of a bodily injury. In the spiritual realm, this is a picture of the hardening that takes place inside a person who remains in unrepentant sin. As his heart becomes increasingly calloused, the spiritual system God constructed within him slowly loses its ability to detect the damage being done to it. It’s little wonder that Christian men in habitual sexual sin can sit in church week after week, singing songs of worship to a God they continually defy. “Hardened by the deceitfulness of sin,” (Hebrews 3:13) their entire beings are riddled with a leprosy of evil which they can no longer even detect!
In such cases, as their conscience undergoes a constant searing, these men are gradually desensitized to the guilt of sin. If left unabated, this process will eventually lead to the death of conscience. As one writer stated it, “Such men must have won that most disastrous of victories — the victory over conscience.”(2)
What does it mean to have one’s conscience seared? To answer that question, I consulted the godly writers of yesteryear. Adam Clarke described it thus: “One cauterized by repeated applications of sin, and resistings of the Holy Ghost...”(3) The Fausett Bible Dictionary explained it as, “…a hardened determination to resist every spiritual impression…”(4) The Pulpit Commentary said it is “the gradual deterioration of sensibility produced by (habitual sin).”(5) John Wesley likened it to, “drunkenness of soul, a fatal numbness of spirit…”(6)
In summation, if a person remains in sin long enough, he can reach a point where he is no longer influenced by the Holy Spirit. He has become so hardened that he will not listen—does not want to hear. I believe this phenomenon is that which the Bible terms apostasy.
How can a man know if he has gone too far? The very concern over such a possibility reveals the fact that there remains hope for him. Apostates, having lost all sense of morality, have no concern over such matters.
However, when a man in habitual sin repents—by acknowledging his guilt and taking steps to put it behind him—his hardened heart begins to soften, and he gradually begins to feel the conviction of sin once again. Finally, he is back in the place where God can reach him and help him overcome. As the writer of Hebrews exclaimed, “how much more will the blood of Christ... cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” (Hebrews 9:14)
Nobody enjoys the feeling of guilt over wrongdoing. However, the alternative is to have no feeling: no Holy Ghost conviction, no discernment of right from wrong, and no sense of shame over the evil nature of sin. The human conscience truly is a gift from God. Personally, I plan on treasuring this gift by maintaining a soft heart and a ready ear for the convicting voice of the Holy Spirit.
(1) A. W. Tozer, The Ground of Human Conscience: Christ’s Presence in the World from the book Echoes of Eden, copyright 1994. Used by permission of Christian Publications.
(2) H. Melvill, The Biblical Illustrator, Isaiah 1, Ages Software.
(3) Adam Clarke, Hebrews 13, ibid.
(4) Fauset’s Bible Dictionary, Blasphemy, ibid.
(5) Pulpit Commentary, 2 Samuel 18, ibid.
(6) The Works of Wesley, Vol. 5, ibid.
Calling homosexuality sin should give tremendous hope to those struggling with same-sex attraction, because Jesus came to save us from SIN.
Have you noticed that the winds of change are blowing with ever-increasing intensity as of late? Nowadays anything goes, and there’s a different “take” on many of the moral issues that regularly pop up in the daily news headlines.
With all sorts of opinions permeating news outlets, blogs, and social media, everything is now up for debate including the topic of homosexuality.
Despite widespread attempts to make Christianity culturally relevant by redefining biblical standards, I find tremendous comfort in knowing that the truth of God’s Word remains steadfast and unshakeable from generation to generation. Amid all the clamor of the opinions and teachings of men, it is positively crucial that believers know “thus says the Lord” concerning the various controversial issues that challenge those who profess to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
The Bible tells us clearly what God has to say about the sin of homosexuality, regardless of what the secular world—and a growing segment in the Church—have to say.
But for decades now, specific passages in the Bible stating clearly that homosexuality is sinful, and therefore forbidden by God, have been deliberately misinterpreted by some, and basically ignored by others, who regard these scriptural references as irrelevant for contemporary society. As a result we have seen numerous denominations divided over this issue, with more and more yielding to the pressure to conform to an unbiblical view of homosexuality.
Nevertheless, God is not mocked, and there is no way anyone can legitimately circumvent what God prohibits.
Over the years, as I’ve counseled hundreds of men struggling with homosexuality, I’ve found many who were convinced that God made them that way (despite the fact that over time most are terribly unsatisfied, enshrouded in self-condemnation, and increasingly burdened with guilt and despair). The scientific community has reinforced this mindset among countless struggling homosexuals, and the devil has worked through numerous activists and influential personalities to widen the gate for individuals to enter this pathway which eventually leads to death. Others make excuses and point to things they experienced in their past (abuse, rejection, low self-esteem and so forth) which relieve them of responsibility for their sin and taking it to the Cross of Jesus Christ.
Those who bravely declare the truth of what God says about homosexuality are in many instances viciously attacked, labeled as self-righteous, branded intolerant, despised as “haters,” and perhaps in the not too distant future they are destined to face imprisonment for committing a so-called “hate crime.”
From my own personal experience, I know that a person who chooses a homosexual lifestyle cannot glorify God and is therefore destined to enter a ‘spiral of degradation’ described by Paul in Romans 1:21-27:
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
But here’s the good news in all of this: because the root of all sinful behavior is found in the heart, there is hope for any man or woman who is struggling with some besetting sin—even homosexuality! It is a heart issue (as Jesus describes in Mark 7:20-23). And the good news is that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:8)—no matter how dark and wicked our hearts may be.
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In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul warns believers to guard against deception but also offers hope that homosexuality – like any life-dominating sin—can be forgiven and overcome:
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. (I Corinthians 6:-11)
This passage gave me much hope and encouragement when I was going through the Pure Life Ministries Residential Program in 1999. For the first time, it was real to me: I can overcome and be cleansed from homosexual sin because of the blood of Jesus! My years of victory over homosexuality proclaims this truth.
I’m so grateful that God sent His Son, Jesus Christ to save the world from SIN. So to call homosexuality SIN, actually offers tremendous hope to anyone who struggles or doubts that it’s possible to live in freedom.
Someone who has been steeped in this sin for years and years, might have a difficult time believing in God’s forgiveness because of all the lies he’s believed and been fed by various sources. But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) He is forever our great Sin-bearer and the God-Who-Forgives. (Psalm 99:8) He “gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.” (Titus 2:14) The Lord has not changed, nor will He ever alter His Word to accommodate man’s sinful desires and choices.
He is a God rich in mercy and willing to deliver anyone who cries out for help and deliverance.
A struggling Christian needs discipleship and correction. But if he will not repent, love requires more severe measures.
It was December 1993, and I was ticked! I sat across the desk from my pastor who told me that I’d have to leave the church until I got my life in order. Even though I had repeatedly binged on drugs and illicit sex, I didn’t want to accept responsibility for my actions. After working with me for several years, he finally acknowledged that there was nothing else he could do for me. “But I do know a place in Kentucky…” he said.
Well, my life changed at Pure Life Ministries, and I thank God my pastor took a stand with me. Since that time, I have been involved in some situations where church discipline was used effectively by the pastor, but unfortunately, many pastors haven’t utilized this God-given tool for restoration. “I have tried everything to help this guy,” is frequently what I hear. However, upon further questioning, it usually turns out that “everything” did not include church discipline! In light of the overwhelming problem of sexual sin in the Body of Christ, I would say that it is time that this powerful tool is restored to our churches!
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Quite honestly, excommunication from a church (like I experienced) should be the last step in a lengthy process of correction. Working with an erring believer also involves discipleship, correction, and reproof. But if a person will not repent, there comes a time when he must be dealt with more severely.
The New Testament handles this subject very specifically. In Matthew 18:15-17 the Lord gives step-by-step instructions on how to help a person who continues in habitual sin.
“And if your brother sins go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer.” (Matthew 18:15-17)
In the situation the Lord relates, the Christian who sees a brother in sin is instructed to reprove (Gk. elegcho) that person. He later made the statement, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline...” (Revelation 3:19)
Unquestionably, biblical reproof done in the right spirit (cf. Gal. 6:1; II Timothy 2:25) is the most loving tool a pastor can use to help a struggling saint. In fact, Paul lists it as one of the primary usages of the Word: “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.” (II Timothy 3:16) The pastor who only uses the Word for teaching is limiting his ministry to one-fourth of its power!
Although some men want their sin (and will not listen), I am convinced that many whom I’ve dealt with over the years would have been stopped in their tracks by a timely word of reproof and on-going “correction” and “training in righteousness.” Sometimes the pastor may get to the point where he feels the erring believer is not taking his sin seriously, not honestly responding. What does he do now? Follow the formula Jesus gives: confront him with “two or three witnesses.” Having two church elders present will help the man to sense the gravity of his sin. This might be just enough of a wake-up call to bring him to true repentance.
If the sinner “refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church,” Jesus said. Up until this point, his privacy has been carefully protected, but once the pastor begins to sense that the man is refusing the correction, he is instructed to bring the sin into the light for all to see. Now the situation is treated with even more gravity. This man’s future (and possibly even his eternity) is at stake! He needs to wake up! Perhaps the shame of being exposed before the entire church will be enough to help him repent.
However, Jesus goes on to say, “if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer.” This is the last step to reach the erring brother. This may seem extreme, but God takes drastic measures whenever there is an unrepentant sinner in the camp. Dr. Jay Adams said, “No one should be put out of the church because of his sin (as though some sins require discipline and others do not). No, precisely not that. It is the failure to ‘hear’ that moves discipline to the final stage of putting one out of your midst.”(1)
We find an example of this in I Corinthians 5 where a man was living in sin with his father’s wife. In this instance the man needed to be brought to the final stage of church discipline quickly: “Remove the wicked man from among yourselves,” Paul told the church. This is the procedure my pastor rightly used with me.
Without a doubt it takes a great deal of courage for a pastor in our day and age to excommunicate an unrepentant sinner. Not only must the pastor face the man’s anger, but the members of his church may misunderstand his intentions. Nevertheless, there are three very important reasons why it must be done.
First, the spiritual integrity of the church must be maintained. Paul said, “Clean out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump...” (I Corinthians 5:7) Leaven illustrates the contagious and corrupting power of sin. A church that is tolerant of sin will soon be full of compromise.
Second, when someone in sin is dealt with openly, it causes the other members of the Body to comprehend the seriousness of sin. Paul told Timothy, “Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also may be fearful of sinning.” (I Timothy 5:20) This seems to be a forgotten concept in many of today’s “user-friendly” churches.
Third, it is done to save an unrepentant sinner from his sin. (1 Corinthians 5:5) Paul told the Corinthians, “I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.” We must remember that God is more concerned about a person’s eternal destiny than He is about his temporary comfort. If a person refuses to repent, the time will come when God will “give them over” to their sin. (Romans 1:24, 26) This happened to the man in Corinth, and we find out later that he repented of his sin. (II Corinthians 2:6-8) The complete restoration of an erring believer is the ultimate goal of church discipline.
Remember the man in Corinth, that Paul removed from the church? We find out later in 2 Corinthians 2:6-8 that he repented of his sin. We must keep in mind that God is more concerned about a person’s eternal destiny than He is about his temporary comfort. The complete restoration of an erring believer is the ultimate goal of church discipline.
Is there a place in 21st century Christianity for church discipline? Absolutely! Our loving Savior has been in the business of correcting wayward souls for a long time. I think it is time we return to the methods offered to us by He who created us. Don’t you?
Dr. Jay E. Adams, Christian Counselor’s Commentary on I & II Corinthians, P & R Pub., p. 34.
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