This episode: If God is in a place, we would expect Him to do powerful things in men's lives, including delivering them from sexual sin.
Pure Life LIVE: Join us June 28th! We're hosting our first live Q&A for Wives.
Timeless Truths: We must be on guard against any teachers that appeal to our fleshly desires.
New sermon: Nate Danser helps unveil God’s hatred for sin in order to grasp the true weight of His mercy.
Despite what many may say, it is possible to have trust rebuilt back into a marriage, even one that was utterly destroyed by sexual sin.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have heard a heart-broken wife exclaim, “I thought I knew my husband! I just found out that he has been living a total lie our entire married life!” Their words always provoke a wave of empathy in me. These women know me only as a counselor, but I have been in their shoes. I used to feel the same way they do after I first learned of my husband, Jeff’s sexual addiction. And I know that sooner or later these wives will also have to face the difficult issue of beginning to trust their husband again. They’ll turn to me with pleading eyes and ask me, “Is it really safe to trust him? How can I know that he won’t deceive me again?”
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Without a doubt, it is very difficult for a wife to know when she can begin trusting her husband again after sexual sin has devastated their marriage. As I worked through this issue years ago, the fruits that I saw manifested in Jeff’s life were the key factor that helped me with trusting him again. I found biblical guidance on what to look for in I John 1:5-9:
"This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
The answer to how a wife can know it is safe to trust her husband again is found in this passage.
One of the ways God began to rebuild trust back into our marriage was to show me the truth of the phrase, “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.” My focus needed to be on God and who He is, not on what my husband may or may not do. The reality that God is light and that He would expose any darkness in my husband’s life was a comfort to me as I journeyed out into these new uncharted waters. I knew I could go to God in prayer on behalf of my husband and trust that as I saw Jeff seek the Lord every day that He would be faithful to expose any darkness that needed to be brought to the surface in his life. This reality gave me a great sense of peace, especially when my husband felt God was leading him in a certain direction. I could trust God to expose wrong motives or desires of his heart and to bring correction when correction was needed in his life.
Honesty was a key that God used to open the door of my heart to trusting Jeff again. I John 1:6 states, “If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.” As my husband began walking in truth (honesty) with me and with his spiritual leaders, I saw that he was a man who could be trusted. He wasn’t hiding anything from me or others any longer. Although I’m sure it was difficult for him, he was willing to be an open book and let everyone see what was written within.
It’s really amazing how the Lord used my husband’s honesty to rebuild security within my marriage. Jeff shared his struggles–including his sexual temptations—his fears and his insecurities, and that actually made me feel very secure in our marriage. There wasn’t any fear in what I was hearing because for the first time in our married life, I knew who my husband was. I knew all. He no longer held up a facade by trying to be something he was not. No longer in darkness, no longer lying, he was practicing truth, and that was a clear indicator that he was in fellowship with the Father. When a wife sees this kind of transparency in her husband, she can know that they are well on their way to allowing God to re-establish trust in their marriage.
Humility was the other attribute that the Lord used to build trust back into our marriage. I John 1:9 teaches that, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” In order to walk in this way, one must humble himself before God and others. When I saw my husband humbly take correction from others and willingly admit when he was wrong, I knew he was a man who could be trusted. This was a major change for a man who had been defensive, argumentative, unwilling to receive correction, protective of himself at all costs and unwilling to admit fault. Although I still had to overcome some of my own fears and anxieties, I knew I could trust the Lord to lead and guide my husband as the spiritual head of our marriage. The new level of honesty and humility I saw in Jeff gave me the confidence to let down my guard and allow the Lord to restore my ability to trust him again.
It is my prayer that wives will be encouraged by these words today. Despite what many may say, it is possible to have trust rebuilt back into a marriage, even one that was utterly destroyed by sexual sin. As a counselor, however, I often have to tell wives, “Be patient. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight.” As I know well from personal experience, rebuilding trust is a process and it will take some time. However, as you see the above characteristics emerging in your husband’s life, be encouraged. In time, you too will be amazed at how God completely restores trust in your marriage.
God requires us to not only clean up a few outward behaviors, but all the corrupting motives and attitudes that still lurk within.
It was the summer of 2003, and I had tickets for one of the hottest rock concerts of the season. Prior to the show, I was sitting in a local restaurant with a young man with whom I had been in a clandestine homosexual relationship for several months.
He did not know my true identity. He could hardly have imagined that the man with whom he was involved was a prominent “pro-family” spokesperson promoting the Christian perspective on homosexuality and opposing the “gay” political movement.
I had also neglected to inform him that I had been HIV positive since 1986.
During dinner, our conversation unexpectedly shifted to what the Bible says about homosexuality. Despite the obvious hypocrisy, I didn’t hesitate to tell him that the Bible clearly condemns homosexual acts. To that he responded, “Well, I don’t believe everything in the Bible.” Without even flinching, I challenged his statement, “How then can you say you believe in Jesus, when everything you know of Him comes from the Bible?”
His response was like a dagger piercing my heart, “What do YOU know about Jesus? Look how you’re living YOUR life!”
God was speaking to me through that young man. His declaration was a stinging rebuke of the woeful direction my life had taken.
The events of that night also served as a harbinger of the public exposure and humiliation that awaited me. Within a month, his friends recognized me, and news of my double life quickly captivated the media. My days of public ministry were over.
Almost a year passed before I started coming to terms with what had happened. Despite years of religious service and unfettered zeal for promoting morality, the way I was actually living my life testified to the fact that I knew very little of true religion or morality. The truth is, I was “dancing with the devil,” adorned in a cloak of Christian garb that fooled most of the people, most of the time—even me.
How could I have arrived at so desperate a spiritual condition?
To be sure, my journey with the Lord didn’t start out this way. After living in the “gay” community for over a decade and testing positive for HIV in 1986, I had gained some understanding of what the Bible means when it says, “…the way of the transgressor is hard.” Proverbs 13:15b. I finally walked away from the “gay” community in 1988 and made a conscious choice to seek and serve the Lord.
I can see now what caused me to fall again back into sin. I can see now that I was not truly repentant. I can see now that my greatest obstacle to repentance was a lack of what the Bible describes as “poverty of spirit.”
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Jesus teaches in the very first Beatitude, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3
Simply stated, poverty of spirit is agreement with what God has said to be true about our condition: that in us there is no good thing and that we do not have what we need for life and godliness in ourselves.
The evidence of this lack emerged shortly after I made the choice to leave the “gay” community. In my mind, homosexuality was THE big sin separating me from God. The mistaken belief that God is only requiring us to clean up a few outward behaviors allowed me to mask all the corrupting motives and attitudes that still lurked in my heart.
Jesus alluded to this error when he challenged the Pharisees, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisees! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” Matthew 23:25-26
The work of the ministry and the public accolades that came with it exacerbated an already inflated view I had of myself. Rather than depending on His righteousness, I saw only my own goodness which I justified by my willingness to give up homosexuality and work tireless hours in ministry.
It wasn’t long before I found myself constantly looking down on others who either didn’t agree with me or did not meet up to the high standards I thought I had attained.
We can see an example of this attitude in the parable Jesus told about the Pharisee and tax collector who went to the temple to pray. The Pharisee thanked God that he wasn’t like the “other men” and then went on to justify himself because of his religious activities. The tax collector stood at a distance, beat his breast and cried out, “God have mercy on me a sinner!” The tax collector, Jesus said, went away justified.
In Matthew 7, Jesus gave one of the most sobering warnings in all of scripture. “Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'” Jesus wasn’t speaking of those who are outside the church but inside, whose hearts belong to another.
If you had suggested to me then that Jesus could have been talking about me, I would have bristled at the thought. After all, I was fighting homosexual activists, I knew the Romans Road by heart, and said the sinner’s prayer when I was ten…I believed in Jesus!
This is not the kind of reaction you see in a man who is poor in spirit. Rather, it’s the kind of reaction you see in a man full of self: self-righteousness, self-effort, and self-reliance.
In the book of Hosea, God told the prophet to go and take an adulterous wife who would represent the condition of unfaithful Israel. Again and again, God blessed the people and repeatedly they became proud and turned from Him.
We see God’s heart again as Jesus wept over Jerusalem, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!” Luke 13:34-35
He weeps still for the countless souls who started out with a sincere desire to know Him, but who, along the way, turned to another. He longs for them to return.
Some might say as I often did, “I have gone too far and my heart has grown too cold. He could not still love me.” But, my friend, I can testify to you from my own life that Jesus stands with an outstretched hand to those who will humble themselves and respond.
Unquestionably, sin destroys lives. Perhaps there is no sin that leaves such devastation in its wake as that of child abuse.
Cassie is the object of ridicule in her junior high school because she is overweight and has body odor. Her peers are unaware that she is subconsciously making herself unattractive to her stepfather who has been molesting her for the past three years.
At age 12 Jimmy is already abusing drugs and getting in trouble at school. His schoolmates are fearful of his violent temper. Jimmy’s deep-seated anger stems from being molested by his uncle.
Much too young to be thinking of such things, 13-year-old Beth has already had sex with a number of boys from school. Following in the footsteps of her older sister, who was also molested by their stepfather and is now a stripper, she has learned to attract boys by wearing revealing clothes.
Heather lives in a constant state of fear and is riddled with guilt. Her daddy has been molesting her off and on for the past five years. On a number of occasions he has told her that if she ever reports him that he’ll be thrown in jail. Consequently, she keeps it a secret and bears the responsibility of keeping the family unit intact.
Seventeen-year-old Ben has become cold and sullen. He puts up walls, refusing to make himself vulnerable to others. He also suffers from insomnia because nighttime was when his older stepbrother used to slip into his room to molest him.
Unquestionably, sin destroys lives. Perhaps there is no sin that leaves such devastation in its wake as that of child abuse. Long after an offender has indulged his perverted fantasies, the effects of his actions continue to haunt the child. One moment of lust can produce a lifetime of anguish for the molested child.
When you—the counselor—begin dealing with a child or teenage abuse victim, there are several things to address. Your first priority must be to ensure that the young person is safe from any further abuse. Research studies have concluded that approximately 60% of children are re-abused and subsequent incidents are even more serious.
Typically when cases are reported, the sexual offender is ordered to leave the home and is not allowed to have unsupervised visits with the child. However, there are instances where the children are forced to leave the home, rather than the offender, causing them to feel as though they are the ones being punished. When this happens, it’s important to communicate to them exactly what is going on and why. It can be very overwhelming for any child to be suddenly taken away from everything he’s known and then thrust into an unfamiliar environment.
Once it has been determined that a child has been molested—especially in the case of penetration—he or she should receive a comprehensive physical examination immediately. You may cringe at the thought of the child being forced to endure such a thing, but it is absolutely necessary to have a medical doctor determine if there’s been any physical damage so the victim can be promptly treated. If there is no injury, you can reassure the child that everything is okay physically.
In many instances, the courts become involved and the offender is sent to jail. When this happens, the youngster will need your emotional and spiritual support throughout the legal process. You can set the child’s mind at rest—that he or she is now safe without overstating it. One of the worst things that can happen to a child is to be led to believe that the abuser is gone forever, only to show up after his six-month stint in jail. While you want to comfort and allay the victim’s fears, be honest and explain this possibility to him or her. Help the child to understand that the arrest and the criminal proceedings that will follow are a direct result of the offender’s actions. Keep in mind that a child often feels enormous guilt for reporting the abuse, especially after the abuser is sent to jail.
Moreover, the child will probably be interviewed by social workers, child protection officials, attorneys and law enforcement officers and be required to describe the abuse in detail to perfect strangers repeatedly. The help of a loving counselor can be a real support to the child through this entire ordeal.
Surviving the judicial process is only the beginning. As indicated in the examples above, there is much emotional damage done to the sexually abused victim that must be addressed. You must diligently seek to establish a rapport with the child whose trust and respect for adults has been shattered. While it is good for you to demonstrate love to the child (i.e. giving them a hug), you should always ask permission before touching the child in any way.
Along with instilling trust, respect for authority must also be reestablished. This requires patient, loving instruction. Avoid falling into humanistic pity which does nothing more than empower the child to use his or her newfound “victim” status for selfish purposes. The wise counselor will show love and encouragement but will never allow a child to control the relationship or use it as a way to manipulate others.
As the proper relationship between you and the child is formed, you can now begin to address other deep-seated issues resulting from the abuse. Fear is perhaps the most common reaction a child abuse victim will face. There is a place for proper fear and a healthy respect for danger. However, when a child becomes preoccupied with the idea that someone may harm him or her and protecting self becomes an obsession, it is displeasing to God. An effective biblical counselor will patiently show the child that being preoccupied with oneself can be sinful and that it would be much better to focus one’s thoughts upon pleasing God.
Another common emotional reaction manifested in abused children is anger, which ranges from seething bitterness, to depression, to rebellion, or even to explosive rage. The offender is typically the main object of the child’s anger. However, it is not uncommon for the youngster to be angry with the mother for not doing more to protect him or her. Some even get mad at God for allowing the abuse to occur in the first place. It is extremely important that the child be taught to handle his or her feelings in a biblical way. The story of how Joseph’s brothers mistreated him and the way he responded is a wonderful illustration of the proper biblical response. This will help the victim to see that, even though people may attempt to harm us, we have a sovereign God watching over everything that occurs in our lives, and He knows how to bring good out of the worst of situations.
You must instruct the child that it is wrong to repay evil for evil and that God expects Christians to overcome evil by doing good. (Romans 12:21) The importance of the New Testament concept of forgiveness must also be emphasized. True forgiveness occurs when the victim commits himself not to dwell on the offense in his mind and not to bring it up again to the offender or to others. This doesn’t mean that the child can’t work through the feelings of it in the positive setting of a counseling session or be honest in criminal proceedings. It simply means that they agree to do their best not to hold onto it as a means of vengeance.
Another typical feeling the child will have to deal with is guilt. Some children feel as though they have betrayed a trust by disclosing what has happened to them. Others will feel shame over what they have done, even though they did nothing to initiate it. This becomes especially true when they experience physical pleasure as their bodies respond the way God created them to respond. However, even though the perpetrators are 100% at fault for everything that has occurred, young people sometimes do have things that they are legitimately at fault about. As the counselor, it is important for you to understand that guilt is not primarily a feeling; it is culpability for a violation of God’s Word. If, for instance, the victim is a young teenage girl and she eventually gets to the place where she begins craving the physical attention she has been receiving, it is right for her to experience a sense of guilt over her actions. Or if the young person has developed hatred for the abuser, he or she must repent of this attitude and forgive him. As a biblical counselor you must help the young counselee distinguish between true and false guilt.
It’s not difficult to see that the victim of child abuse has a lot of issues to work through. However, a loving, godly counselor can help to minimize the negative effects—such as depression, anxiety, paralyzing fear, paranoia, and etc—of the molestation and steer the victim away from a self-destructive path of habitual sin. What a joy it is for the counselor to comfort young victims and help them to respond in a way that pleases God!
Lies are the close companion of all sexual sin. If there is sexual sin there will be lies. It is a basic spiritual principle. No exceptions.
“I have been buying pornography and going to massage parlors.” His announcement left me stunned and angry because he had been lying to me for the past 18 months. The only reason he was telling me the truth now was that his wife had caught him. I had poured out my life to this man! Then I found that his self-reports were all bogus. How could he have done this to me – me the great friend, the great counselor, the sacrificial servant?!
Thankfully, the Spirit didn’t leave me there, no matter how much I wanted to persist in my self-righteous anger. Over the next few hours some other questions emerged. Why was I so concerned about me when my friend was in such dangerous bondage? Why didn’t I first think about the effects on his wife? Why wasn’t I grateful that the Spirit brought light into the darkness? Was I actually angry that other people might find out that I had been the gullible fool? Why was my initial reaction all about me?
After personal repentance and regaining my spiritual equilibrium my mind went to the nature of lies, and I have been musing about them ever since. Lies are the close companion of all sexual sin. If there is sexual sin there will be lies. It is a basic spiritual principle. No exceptions. Therefore, if we want to be helpful to someone who struggles with sexual sin we should get up to speed on what God says about lies.
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There are only two languages in the cosmos: truth or falsehood. The Kingdom of Heaven proclaims the Truth – Jesus Christ – with the truth. The Kingdom of Darkness speaks lies in honor and imitation of the Father of Lies. If I had remembered this I wouldn’t have been angry with my friend. I would have been afraid for him. His language revealed that he preferred, at least for a time, a kingdom in which the agenda was his death. My counter should have been to pray, wrap the truth in love and try to woo him back to the Kingdom of Christ. Lifeguards don’t get angry at someone who is drowning. Instead, they invest all their efforts into trying to save that person.
Among all the questions that could be asked of Scripture regarding lies, consider just one. How can we as pastors and counselors create a context where the truth can be spoken? That doesn’t mean that the truth always will be spoken, but how can we have relationships where we are alert to the dangers of lies and prize the truth. Here are a few ideas you might want to consider as you minister to those in sexual sin.
Did you know that Jesus gave His disciples authority to heal every disease except one? That disease was leprosy.
Did you know that Jesus gave His disciples authority to heal every disease except one? They were told to heal the sick, raise the dead and cast out demons, but there was one disease they could not heal; instead it had to be cleansed. That disease was leprosy.
Jesus made it clear that they were to cleanse the lepers. (Matthew 10:8) The word cleanse is the same word John used in his epistle when he wrote, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9 NKJV) While the majority of believers know that leprosy is a type of sin, few seem to realize that it usually typifies one specific sin—rebellion!
For instance, when Miriam went against Moses’ authority she was struck with leprosy and was excommunicated from the congregation for seven days. When Gehazi disobeyed his master, Elisha, he became a leper. King Uzziah usurped the rightful position of the priests by trying to offer incense to the Lord and was also smitten with leprosy.
Rebellion, like leprosy, spreads quickly—therefore the leper has to be isolated for the protection of the rest of God’s people. This had its counterpart in New Testament church discipline—a much needed but rarely practiced doctrine. For the leper to be “cleansed” he had to show himself to the priest—a sign of submission to authority. Submission and rebellion cannot coexist.
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Pornography and sexual sin have become huge problems in the modern Church, but I’m convinced that the deeper issue is the heart-rebellion that is making a way for believers to give over to sin in the first place. Until people truly learn to submit themselves to the lordship of Christ, this kind of problem will continue to surface. As long as Christians take a pick-and-choose approach to obedience, sexual sin will persist as a spiritual blight in the midst of God’s people.
So what is the answer for those in sexual sin? Those in its clutches must submit themselves to the High Priest Jesus, repent of their rebellion to His authority, and then they will be cleansed of the leprosy that has contaminated their souls.
Whether we like it or not, being in the kingdom of God means that many battles lie ahead of us. It's imperative that we learn how to fight.
Many boxing fans consider Mohammed Ali to be the greatest fighter who ever lived. It wasn’t so much his boxing skills, which were exemplary; nor was it his knack of keeping opponents off-balance with a stinging jab; nor was it his capacity to take a punch. Ali had something inside him that only the great ones possess: a champion’s heart. He had a resolve to do whatever it took to win a fight.
One of the primary things Ali was known for was his conditioning: his willingness to push himself when he trained. Skill alone won’t win a fight. A good boxer knows that if he doesn’t conquer himself in the gym, he will never overcome his opponent in the ring. The loafer runs two miles rather than ten; he quits his workout when he gets tired; he picks sparring partners who aren’t a challenge. The fighter who has gotten into the habit of going the easy route has trained himself to be a loser. No matter how skilled he might be, when he gets into that ring, his lack of self-discipline and his unwillingness to suffer is going to become evident to all.
The truth is that boxing is the devil’s idea of fighting. The entire sport is built around pride, greed and violence. The boxer is trained to be merciless: Do unto the other guy before he does unto you. This is not the kind of fighting God takes pleasure in. No, it is precisely the opposite of this.
However, as is the case with the boxer, the believer’s real battle is fought out in the pre-fight conditioning period; in other words, in the daily grind of life. If he keeps himself conditioned spiritually, he will be able to withstand the assault of temptation “in the ring on fight day.”
The apostle Paul was certainly one of the greatest champions of the Christian faith the world has ever known. He constantly beat the devil because he had first conquered the daily temptation to live to please himself. He prayed. He fasted. He soaked himself in God’s Word. He gave his life away for the sake of others. He suffered deprivation, persecution and even belittlement by his own followers. He constantly fought the temptation to give in, to go with the flow, to live for self. Paul had the kind of champion’s heart that Muhammad Ali could never understand. “Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called...” he told Timothy just before he was beheaded. (I Timothy 6:12)
Sluggards always do what is easiest. Visit any boxing gym in the country and you will find the “hangers-on” who will never amount to anything in the world of boxing. They aren’t willing to pay the price required to be a champion. They have trained themselves to quit when the going gets tough. One can only imagine how many extremely gifted fighters never made it to the top because they lacked the resolve—the champion’s heart—to win the battle no matter what the cost might be.
Every believer has the opportunity to make a name for himself in God’s Kingdom. Whether we like it or not, we are in the boxing realm of the kingdom of God. Many battles lay ahead of us. The question isn’t whether we will get into the ring or not, but what will happen when we do. One day, the great fighters will be recognized for their efforts. The Lord Himself will raise their hands and acknowledge their victories. For, you see, the Kingdom of Heaven isn’t built upon those who live a soft life of ease. No, its champions are the fighters: those who refused to go the easy route, refused to quit, and refused to be denied the victory.
The real champions are those who lay down their lives for the sake of others. Among Paul’s final recorded words are these:
I am already being poured out as a drink offering,
and the time of my departure has come.
I have fought the good fight,
I have finished the course,
I have kept the faith;
in the future there is laid up for me
the crown of righteousness,
which the Lord, the righteous Judge,
will award to me on that day;
and not only to me,
but also to all who have loved His appearing.
(2 Timothy 4:6-8)
Surrender begins the process of restoring us into God's image. We often call this sanctification, but I also like to call it preparation.
My dear friend and brother Nate Danser, recently shared a snippet of his testimony entitled “The Christmas that God Saved My Life.” Nate is a member of the Senior Leadership team at Pure Life Ministries, and in the article, he shared his testimony, describing how the Lord had taken him from a life of overwhelming darkness and sin into a life blessed with God’s presence. I was on staff at Pure Life Ministries when Nate arrived in the Residential Program, as well as when he entered the Pure Life Ministries Intern program. I can attest: Nate Danser’s transformation is nothing short of a modern-day miracle.
A few days after Nate’s article was published, I saw him on the Pure Life Ministries campus. I commended him for a great article, then added, “But Nate, you left out the best part!” A bit puzzled by my comment, Nate asked me to write an article about “the best part.” I was happy to do it.
First, some background. Men come into our residential program having spent years or even decades “filling their stomachs with the pods that the swine ate.” (Luke 15:16) Their souls have been so contaminated by prodigal living that they have lost all hope of ever again leading a “normal” Christian life. I know this well, because I was one of them.
For many sexual addicts, the Lord has no choice but to allow them to have the sin of their choosing for a season. Just like the Jews who cried out for meat in the wilderness, the Lord had to give them quail “…until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you.” (Numbers 11:20) When the Lord makes the painful decision to give someone over to his sins, He has one goal in mind: that they would repent, return to Him and finally surrender their life to His control.
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Without full surrender, our lives as Christians cannot truly begin. Because of this, our merciful God sovereignly engineers trials and circumstances to get us to that place where He draws a line in the sand and beckons us to cross, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)
Although surrender is no small order, it is only the beginning. It’s a mystery, but the Lord God, the Creator of the Universe, requires our permission before He will begin the work of restoring us into the image that He created us to be. The biblical term for that process is sanctification, but I have a different word for it: Preparation. I will explain why in a minute.
Sanctification is an intense process, and it is hard work. At times, it seems as if it will never end, and at times, it feels as if there has been no effect. I vividly remember one day years ago, when I marched into Pastor Steve Gallagher’s office intensely frustrated with the process. “Will this ever stop??” I complained. I likened it to having a tooth extracted, painful as that may be, only to find the tooth growing back a few days later, and repeating the process over and over again.
I wasn’t having any fun. Was this all there is to Christianity, I wondered…constantly facing my imperfections and limitations, battling discouragement and moving in and out of despair? Truthfully, there were times when I feared I wasn’t even saved.
But the Holy Spirit is as faithful as He is relentless. When we obey the Bible’s command to “put off the old man that grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts” and “put on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness,” the Holy Spirit faithfully “renews us in the spirit of our minds.” (Ephesians 4:22-24)
Despite the pain, I battled on, thanks only to the Holy Spirit who dwells inside of me. If it weren’t for Him, I would never have made it, and would never have discovered “the Best Part of Christianity.”
Somewhere along the line, after we are battle-tested and have proven faithful in small things, the Lord decides, in His perfect wisdom, that we are ready. Ready for what you may ask?
Ready to begin to be used for the purpose for which He created us.
What a happy day it is when we are ready for kingdom assignments, ready to receive and pass through power from on high. When I was first called into prison ministry, I was thrilled to be able to serve Pure Life Ministries in that capacity, and looked forward to a season of training. As it turned out, sovereignly orchestrated circumstances required that I would have to teach my very first class all alone. My initial response was nothing short of panic, and I prayed like I had never prayed before.
When that awful day came, I drove by myself to a state prison in Indiana, a prison with a sex offender population of over 2,000 inmates. Despite my fear and anxiety, the Lord said things and did things through me that blew me away. After it was over, I was amazed, overcome with joy and humbled that the Lord would and could use me this way.
My life in Him was forever changed that day. Suddenly, it all became crystal clear. Everything that I had endured up to that point was preparation! All the trials and dryness, the confusion, the despair, the acts of denying myself things I never thought I could be rid of; it was all simply preparation for that moment and beyond.
It’s not that sanctification has stopped. Hardly. In many ways, it has become more intense. But when I realize that He is preparing me for my next assignment I can truly “count it as all joy when I fall into various trials…” (James 1:2) Well, at least most of the time.
My first experience in prison ministry was many years ago. Since then, the journey has only gotten richer. I am more and more filled with sheer awe at the God we serve. The joy of my salvation is now real and alive.
Over the last couple of years, when I spend time with Nate Danser and consider all that the Lord is doing through his surrendered life, it amazes and inspires me. There’s a bounce in his step and a supernatural joy in his heart. On the other side of many deep struggles and trials, Nate is walking in God’s divine purpose and calling for his life. Nate is living in the “Best Part of Christianity.”
Reader, are you struggling through a joyless Christianity? If you are, perhaps you are avoiding full surrender and are clinging to “idols of the heart” or some besetting sin. Or maybe you are resisting the Lord’s heavy hand of love, as He tries to conform you and prepare you for the “good works prepared beforehand that you should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)
Be sure of this, the Lord will not send us out to work miracles “in His Name” before we are ready. I am not talking about just being busy with church activity. I am talking about responding to the Lord’s call to go out, and then watching Him work miracles through your life
The “Best Part of Christianity” is being used by God to do things we could never do on our own. The best part of Christianity is being an image-bearer and mercy-doer in the name of Christ. The best and most joy-filled part of Christianity is bearing kingdom fruit for His glory and hearing in the end, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Dear sisters in Christ, please be aware. If you're not careful, you may unwittingly contribute to the sexual sin issue in the Church.
Recent statistics suggest that women are being drawn into life-controlling sexual addiction lifestyles in greater and greater numbers. A surprising 20% of Christian women are addicted to pornography. Even more staggering is the fact that 40% of those struggling with sexual addiction under the age of 35 are women!
What many women don’t realize is that they have been unwittingly contributing to the sexual sin issue in the Church long before these statistics came to be.
Females readers, is your first reaction, “Hey wait a minute here. Are you saying this mess we’re in is the woman’s fault?” Please read on.
Back in his day, the Apostle Paul had heard that a disruption was being caused by women in the church because of what they were wearing. Paul admonished these dear women by writing, “that the women should adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” (1Timothy 2:9 – 10) In this loving rebuke, Paul was trying to discourage women from dressing in a way that was distracting to men and others in their worship services.
Yes, we women can be clueless, or just deceived, on how much we can contribute to the problem.
How much greater is the issue today for women of all ages who have been bombarded for decades with the message of this world that their value comes from their outward appearance and from being seen as attractive and alluring to men. Just check the headlines of the women’s magazines on your next visit to your favorite supermarket.
As I have gone out and spoken to thousands of Christian women at our A Call to Purity Weekends, I have found that many are not aware that their insistence on being “in the current fashion” is causing their brothers to stumble. I can’t tell you how many times, while I am sharing this truth, women begin covering themselves up as I am speaking in the sudden awareness that they were exposing “a little too much skin.” The lights have suddenly come on for them.
Several years ago I was asked to speak at a church event where the leaders set out to confront this important issue in their church. There were about 500 ladies of all different age groups in attendance. The pastors who hosted this event asked some of the men to write letters on how the attire of women in the church affected them. To this day, I can still recall one of those letters.
This gentleman poured his heart out. Church for him was a place of refuge from all the outside influences where he could focus all of his heart on God. To his despair, he repeatedly found his church not to be a “safe” place at all from the lustful suggestions rampant in the world and his workplace. He cited situation after situation: a woman on the worship team in skin tight clothing; a woman sitting next to him in an extremely short skirt; and young women in low cut and halter tops all around. He pleaded, “If you only knew how often the immodest outfits you wear disturb me, perhaps you would see yourself differently. My desire is to honor you; yet there are times that you dress as if you wish I wouldn’t.”
Beloved, when we see and hear these things it should make us want to weep before our God and to cry out to Him in repentance. If we are not, then there is something very wrong in our hearts as the Bride of Christ. The world and its influences have affected us more than we know.
Repeatedly, women in our Wives Program have confessed to me, “Well it’s not my fault if he can’t control his eyes. I should be able to wear whatever I want when I want.”
What we need to consider, beloved, is that God has wired men this way, that men are stimulated by visual images by divine design. When confined to feelings stimulated between husband and wife, this phenomenon works beautifully. On the other hand, when it is misused for purposes other than God’s, it becomes evil and sinful. Why do you think the pornography industry is such a multi-billion dollar enterprise?
When we are more caught up in the world’s ways rather than God’s ways, it is very easy to overlook Paul’s admonition to the church in Romans 14:13. While the context of this Scripture has to do with eating or drinking, it can be applied to anything that causes our brother to stumble, “… resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.” Paul goes on in verse 21, “it is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak.
Sisters, as the Bride of Christ, we must allow the Word of God to govern our lives in this area instead of allowing the world’s standards to sway us. I encourage you to consider how much time you spend “in the world,” as compared to your time in the Word of God. I promise you, when you spend more time in God’s Word, it will cause you to see more as God sees, and to walk in a way that is pleasing in His sight. The words of the psalmist will then become your own, “Your Word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” (Psalms 119:11)
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The Holy Spirit is faithful to show us and convict us of motives that are not pure in our way of dress. He will begin to point out anything that is questionable during shopping sprees and even in our closets. Ask Him to bring that conviction to your heart in order that you might not take advantage of and defraud your brothers in this way. (1 Thessalonians 4:6)
God has called us to possess our vessel (which belongs to Him) in sanctification and honor not in the passion of lust, like those who do not know God. (1 Thessalonians 4:4-5). As you begin to pattern your life according to the Word of God, you will be able to say like Paul, “I have always strived to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.” (Acts 24:16)
Beloved, if this is your heart, I encourage you to take some time to pray. Ask the Lord to show you if there is anything in your life that is causing your brother to stumble. Trust the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart as He has mine so many times when I seek Him in this area. Be open and willing to do all that He reveals.
May God bless you and may Jesus be glorified in your life as you serve Him in all things.
God has been deeply involved with your life since your birth. You have been the focus of an immense heavenly operation for many years.
In 1978, the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, discovered that France had agreed to supply Iraq with 150 pounds of 93-percent-enriched uranium to be used in a 700-megawatt commercial nuclear reactor which France would help build. Ostensibly, this was to be used for peaceful purposes, primarily providing energy for Baghdad. The Israelis suspected Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein had other ideas.
Operation Sphinx was immediately launched and given top priority within the clandestine halls of Mossad headquarters. Eight separate teams of intelligence specialists were assigned to the case. After an initial review of the available information, they chose an Iraqi scientist named Halim as their target. Halim and his wife lived in Paris while working on the project in a French laboratory.
The world famous spy organization quickly went to work. First, a group of operations agents was sent to Paris to act as support staff for the other agents involved in the undertaking. Then field supervisors arrived to oversee the entire project. Next surveillance crews showed up to gather as much information about Halim as possible. A separate crew of specialists was brought in for electronic surveillance that bugged his home and listened to his conversations. And finally, when everything else was in place, the primary contact team arrived to begin their phase of the operation. These were the people who would have direct contact with Halim.
Over the coming months, over fifty Israeli agents were used in this elaborate scheme. By subtly appealing to Halim’s lust for women and money, the Mossad carefully led the Iraqi scientist to the point of willingly giving them information about the Iraqi nuclear complex under construction. In 1981, this information was provided to the Israeli air force which was then able to pinpoint their bombs on the reactor located within the Iraqi power plant. Saddam Hussein’s ability to produce nuclear weapons was destroyed.
The immense effort put into that operation by dozens of specialists, all focused on the life of one man with the purpose of manipulating the events of his life to cause him to make the decision they wanted him to make, is an excellent illustration of the enormity of God’s involvement in the lives of His children.
The fact of the matter is that God has been deeply involved with your life since your birth. You have been the focus of an immense heavenly operation for many years. Who can know the number of angels assigned at various times to watch over you? Who can guess how many people God has used in a myriad of ways to influence and mold your life, to bring you to the point of seeing your great need for Him? How many different circumstances of your life—loss, failures, problems, difficult people — did God use to bring you to that momentous decision? Paul rightly said, “You were bought with a price...” Of course the greatest price paid was on Calvary, but how much else has gone into your salvation?
Unquestionably, God has been intricately involved in the life of every single person who comes to Him; however, coming to God is only the beginning. At this point, the real work begins. Paul said, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first-born among many brethren.” (Romans 8:28-29)
Once God has helped a man come to repentance, the next phase of the operation begins. By utilizing various circumstances that tend to nudge the believer in the right direction — godly teaching and counsel, the lives of mature saints, the conviction of sin, the passion for holiness He plants in the heart, and a host of other elements perfectly tailored for that person’s situation — the Lord is constantly trying to do a work in the believer’s life. Such tireless effort is aimed at making him more like Jesus. It is, if you will, a major Mossad operation going on at all times around a Christian’s daily routine. Just like Halim, most people are completely oblivious to all of this activity.
One of my wife’s most endearing characteristics is her insisting to be involved with me constantly. For instance, when I wake up in the middle of the night (I am a chronic insomniac), her eyes immediately pop open to see what I’m doing. Usually she’s such a good sleeper that she could easily sleep right through the night. And yet, somehow, she always knows when I wake up. She says she can hear my eyelids open! If I get out of bed to read or do something to avoid bothering her, she insists on me staying there, even though turning the light on means she will lose sleep. My wife wants to be involved with everything that goes on with me. It isn’t out of nosiness or out of being insecure about my faithfulness. She simply loves me and is absorbed in every phase of my life. To Kathy, love equates with undying interest.
So it is with God. He has a tremendous investment in every believer’s life and is greatly interested in every aspect of it. He loves His children and it is the joy of His great heart to be involved with the details of their lives. The Psalmist certainly understood this: “Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him, on those who hope for His lovingkindness.” (Psalm 33:18) So did David, who said, “How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand...” (Psalm 139:17-18)
God is intimately and intricately involved in the lives of His people. He is constantly at work in every aspect of their lives. But everything He does is for a purpose. Like the massive and complicated Mossad operation, God is quietly working behind the scenes of our daily lives with a purpose in mind which is of extreme importance to Him.
Unlike the Mossad, the Lord has no desire to hurt, use, or abuse us. When you care about someone, you are careful about how you treat them. The believer isn’t someone to be manipulated into doing what God wants, and then to be thrown away like the Mossad did with Halim. All of the Lord’s efforts are motivated by His immense love for that person.
To properly work in a person’s life, the Lord uses great restraint over everything He does. Too much scolding can crush a man’s spirit. Likewise, excessive leniency could allow him to wander off into unspeakable perils. He has to continually balance everything He does.
Part of the life of victory comes about when the believer can rest in the assurance that God truly loves him, is looking to help him, and is extremely involved in his life. He can make that deep surrender because the Lord has successfully proven His trustworthiness. “Believing in Christ” means that we trust Him. And in the end, isn’t that trust the foundation of all Christian living?
Because we all know situations where the consequences of sexual sin is wreaking havoc on people's lives, we need to be equipped to minister.
As my wife Rose and I have traveled around this country and internationally, we are continually confronted with the sad reality that sexual sin is a spreading cancer in the Church that so often goes undetected. Even when it is recognized, the life threatening prognosis is disregarded.
The fact is, at one time or another, nearly all of us encounter situations where the consequences of sexual sin is wreaking havoc on a person, a marriage, or an entire family. For this reason, we need to be equipped to minister hope and change in such situations.
The root of all sexual sin, no matter the degree, goes much deeper than most who are involved in it understand. Sexual sin is the natural outcome of a divided heart. Jesus said “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matthew 6:24) At its core, sexual sin is a worship issue.
The starting place is always the same. The person trapped in sin desperately needs to find true biblical repentance. This repentance will only come when a person’s heart has changed. Those in sexual addiction desperately needed to see their “struggle” the way God does, as rebellion and sin. This is essential because a person will only quit his destructive behavior when he has truly repented of it in his heart. “Godly sorrow” that “produces a repentance without regret,” (2 Corinthians 7:10) will occur only when the person realizes the error of his ways and surrenders to change.
In his book, Counseling the Sexual Addict, Steve Gallagher breaks down this process of repentance into four basic components:
Steve goes on to advise counselors, “It is vital that you, as a counselor, lead an individual out of habitual sin and into this kind of genuine repentance. He cannot conjure up this experience for himself. He must seek God for it. The counselor’s role is helping the counselee see his need for a radical inward transformation and praying that he receives it.”
Once true repentance has occurred and the person is ready to submit his will to God’s, he (or she) must then be taught what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus. A mature saint must come alongside and lead the way in how to live a life of self-denial and how to walk in the Spirit. We are told in God’s Word to, “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16) This is a very practical thing and is about making biblical choices instead of allowing the flesh to dictate our actions.
This kind of walk with God doesn’t just happen but has to be cultivated. It begins with learning how to spend quality time in His Word and His presence. Yes, excelling in our relationship with God always starts with a rich devotional life. Finding contentment and satisfaction in Christ alone is the key that will unlock the prison door of sexual sin in a person’s heart. Jesus must become our first love and be more desirable than anything this world has to offer, including sex.
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Paul describes this process in Ephesians 4:22-24, “that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.” The sex addict who continually sought his satisfaction from “deceitful lust” should not expect to be able to “put off the old man” without replacing it with the new man, who draws his joy and fulfillment from God. His mind, his entire way of thinking, must be cleansed and “renewed” by reading, studying, meditating and praying over God’s Word.
Furthermore, there must be a radical amputation of every allurement the enemy has used to influence and enslave him to sin. (John 8:34) For most, this means getting rid of or limiting TV, internet, social networking, video games, entertainment, worldly music, and such. In effect, the Devil’s ability to control him must be minimized, and the Lord’s ability to draw and renew him must be maximized. In deciding what to remove or change, an important question must be asked: “Does this bring me closer to God or does it cause spiritual compromise?”
God considers obedience and walking in His way to be the highest form of worship, especially in an area that had been ridden with selfishness and rebellion.
As the sex addict turns away from idols and worships God alone, he will begin to experience the joy and satisfaction of an undivided heart. Only contentment in God will smother the flames of lust.
Jesus has made it all possible through the work of the Cross. It is there we must lead those who are bound in the fetters of sexual sin, and it’s only there where they will find true freedom and victory.
What about the believer who cannot seem to stop his sinful behavior? If he is truly a child of God, why is real victory so elusive?
Sitting side by side in a worn out inner city building are Joe’s Tavern and Sparky’s Adult Books and Novelties. For the bar, weekends are the busiest times, with intoxicated patrons coming and going, laughing, swearing and sometimes fighting. By contrast, the next door neighbor’s clientele slip discreetly into the smut shop, commit their spiritual atrocities, and quietly steal away into the night.
These two businesses perfectly illustrate the “deeds of the flesh” outlined in Galatians 5: “immorality, impurity, sensuality… drunkenness, carousing, and… those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (vss. 19-21)
In biblical terminology, the word “deeds” simply refers to the things people do, while the term “practice” represents the things people do habitually. As John said, “the one who practices sin is of the devil… No one who is born of God practices sin…” (1 John 3:8-9)
Simple enough, but what about the believer who cannot seem to stop his sinful behavior? On numerous occasions, he has really tried to mend his ways. He has thrown out his magazines, installed a filter on his computer and made himself accountable to a buddy. And yet, he finds that there is an irresistible force pulling him back to this seedy part of town. Time and again he caves in to his lower passions. Now he is at the point of complete despair. If he is truly a child of God, why is real victory so elusive?
The secret is found only three verses prior to the list of Galatians 5, where the apostle Paul boldly promises: “If you walk in the Spirit, you will not give in to the lusts of the flesh.” (v. 16) I want to pause and testify that during my 30 years of ministering to men in habitual sexual sin, I have found no evidence to dispute the truth of this statement. Of the thousands of men and hundreds of pastors I have ministered to, not one had truly been walking in the Spirit prior to his fall.
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Let’s return now to our inner-city metaphor. Just upstairs, on the second story of this dilapidated structure, is a Christian coffeehouse named, appropriately enough, “The Upper Room.” There you will find worshipful music filling the air with a heavenly Presence. Earnest saints are studying God’s Word, while others are on their knees, interceding for lost souls.
When a struggling Christian purposes to spend time in such a godly environment, he may still face temptation, but it will become increasingly easier to do right than wrong. To “walk in the Spirit,” means that the person is establishing a spiritual atmosphere in his inner life every day. “Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you…” Paul proclaimed elsewhere. (1 Cor. 6:19)
Yes, down those stairs are still all kinds of alluring temptations—things the man has practiced for years. In his own strength, he does not have the power to overcome those habits. However, by spending an hour everyday in the Upper Room of worship, prayer and Bible study, he finds growing within him a spiritual energy to help him when he himself is weak to temptations.
It is exactly what Jesus meant when He said, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) In essence, the key isn’t so much resisting temptation as much as it is establishing new habits in the basic spiritual disciplines. Being connected with God everyday increases one’s love for Him and, at the same time, weakens the attraction to sin.
Of course, establishing a new habit typically takes two or three weeks. But once it is in place, it becomes increasingly more desirable. He soon discovers that the more he prays, the more he wants to pray.
The world will always present intoxicating, seductive diversions like Joe’s Tavern and Sparky’s Adult Bookstore. Your flesh will always be attracted to such places. Rather than fighting a losing battle on enemy turf, why not make it a habit to spend time in the Upper Room everyday? As you do, you will find yourself becoming increasingly uninterested in what is going on downstairs.
Suddenly I started crying my eyes out, confessing things about myself I wasn't even aware of. To this day I don't remember how it started.
8 years ago, right around this time of year, I was sitting in one of my final counseling sessions, preparing to graduate from the Pure Life Ministries Residential Program. The next thing I knew, I was crying my eyes out, and confessing things about myself that I wasn’t even aware of. To this day, I don’t remember how it started. But God saved my life that night.
In April of 2008, nearly 8 months prior to this, I had driven onto the campus of Pure Life Ministries a hollowed-out shell of a man. Despite having some kind of a religious experience when I was 15, it had been a long time since I had walked in the pathways of God.
I certainly had high expectations for the program. And, on the one hand, I was probably a model student. My chores were always finished on time and I put my heart and soul into the homework. I got along with the other students and tried to work hard while on the job.
But on the other hand, I was deeply troubled. God had been opening my eyes to see the reality of my life, and I was horrified. First, there was the stark truth that I had taken advantage of multiple girlfriends and committed heart adultery with thousands of porn stars. But I was far more deeply disturbed by the discovery that my life bore almost no resemblance to the Bible’s depiction of a true believer.
Far from having a life full of the Spirit’s fruit, I was a gaping hole. I was plagued by unbelief, cynicism, fear, self-centeredness, and on and on.
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Desperation began to grip me. For months I agonized over my condition, but I couldn’t seem to find any way to improve it. No matter how many times I prayed, there didn’t seem to be Anyone listening at the other end. I sought refuge in the Scripture, but my Bible seemed only to contain Scriptures that condemned wicked men. Men just like me.
Despite the agony, I persisted in seeking God, knowing that He was my only hope. I didn’t know if He would have me, but I knew that must I find Him, or die trying.
At some point along the line, things began to improve to some degree. I wasn’t as hopeless. Cynicism wasn’t as deeply-rooted. My thought life was improving. I was even fighting against the temptations of sexual sin, and winning.
Then, 3 weeks before graduating from the program, I accepted a challenge. Pray Psalm 139:23-24 each day until God answers. "Search me," I prayed. "Try me. Test me and know my anxious thoughts, and see if there's any wicked way in me, and lead me in the Everlasting way."
For a couple of weeks or so I prayed this every day. Nothing much happened, but then again, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Maybe that’s why I was so shocked when God answered.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I was sitting in one of my final counseling sessions before graduating the Pure Life Ministries Residential program. Suddenly, words came rushing out of me. I began to break, as I confessed things to my counselor that I hadn’t even consciously thought of before.
“I desperately want to be different,” I told him, “but I am not sure that I actually am different. I see Jesus in so many of the guys around here, but I don’t think I know Him the way I should. I’m afraid that if I graduate next week, I will go right back to my sin.”
I will never forget the look on my counselor's face when I finally looked up. He was obviously as shocked as I was.
The next day he told me that they had decided to extend my graduation for as long as four months. That was fine by me, because I really wanted something to change in my life.
Two weeks later, on New Year’s Eve, 2008, I left the chapel after a Friday teaching video. It was a frigid December night, beautiful and perfectly still. Under a full moon I walked to the old rugged cross that stands near the campus, and I knelt and began to speak to God.
It was simple, desperate, and from my heart. I had spent nearly 8 months here, and what to show for it? I still wasn’t sure I knew God. But then He spoke. And what He said changed my life. Looking back at that exchange, I realize now that it wasn’t the content of the conversation that was so profound, but that Life Himself was speaking to me.
When I awoke the next morning, I knew that God had come to me. And as I reflect on these past 8 years, I know that He has never left.
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