Hey everyone, welcome to ANOTHER Christmas episode of Purity for Life! In our last episode, we took time to reflect on the wonder of Jesus—his lowliness, his love and his sacrifice. This week, we'll do it all over again!

There are a lot of things that are trying to keep us from fixing our eyes on Jesus this year. People are stressed out about the pandemic, no one knows what Christmas will look like, and many people's lives are broken. But we want to help you allow Jesus to take center stage during this holiday season. No matter what's going on in your life, please take some time to stop everything and focus with us on the greatest gift ever given.

It can be hard to see reasons to be thankful in the midst of trials. But even in the midst of the pandemic, there are abundant reasons to give thanks to God. So in our recent thanksgiving edition of Purity for Life, we asked several Pure Life staff and graduates to testify to the Lord's amazing goodness in their lives. In this segment, we have two of those testimonies for you and we hope they will be an encouragement to you to look for God's mercy and goodness in your own life as well.

Kathy Gallagher has spent decades ministering to wives who have seen their marriages and their lives ripped apart by their husband’s sexual sin. And she can do this because she experienced this in her own life. Her marriage to Steve was far from the fairy tale she had hoped for, but God turned the worst thing that happened to her into something very precious to her. In the first of three episodes for wives, we talk with her about the spiritual lessons she learned during that time in her life, and we learn how a woman’s faith is tested by the internal and external trials brought on by a broken marriage.

For a special Thanksgiving episode of Purity for Life, many of our staff contributed short testimonies of how the Lord helped free them from life-dominating sin during their time in the residential program. We have two of those for you today. Michael talks about how God freed him from anxiety and fear, and Luke shares how he was freed from the bondage of sexual sin.

Michael: I would say in 2012, shortly after my sin came into the light, I entered into a season of just a lot of darkness, fear, anxiety, torment. During this season, I was enrolled in community college and I remember just progressively getting worse and it being harder and harder to focus. I couldn't remember what the professor said. I would get in my car and drive home and would go to my bedroom and just lay down on the floor and basically have a panic attack. All I could remember saying inside was Lord, have mercy on me, just have mercy on me. The predominant thought that plagued me was I'm going to end up in a psych ward and die and wake up in hell. I couldn't escape that reality. The fear just kept growing, anxiety just kept growing with that. Eventually I got put on antidepressants and I remember sitting in my car outside of the college I was attending and having the same thoughts, the same tormenting thoughts, blasphemous thoughts, a fear that I committed the unpardonable sin and just feeling numb. And that was worse than the feelings of anxiety and fear.

    So not too long after that, I was enrolled in the Residential Program. And during my time in the program, my counselor just had me getting in the word, had me praying for other people and making gratitude lists. The Lord really used that to get my focus off myself; I didn't realize how full of myself I was and how full of unbelief I was. And that the answer was to get my eyes on Jesus. The Lord to used those 3 things during my time in the program to really get my eyes on the Lord and to get a sight of him and began putting faith in me and I got to the point where I was able to come off my medication—I didn't need it anymore. And when I graduated from the Residential Program I went home to visit for a week or so. And during this time, I remember having this kind of fear come on me, and the enemy saying you're just going to go back to the fear and anxiety, you're going to go back to the panic attacks. And the Holy Spirit just told me, no I've set you free from that you don't ever have to go back to that. And from that point on, I just knew that the Lord had completely set me free. I wasn't going to have a panic attack anymore. I was going to go back to that fear and that anxiety. And I know that the Lord used all of those things and ultimately just getting my eyes on Jesus to set me free and I will be forever grateful for that.

Luke: Prior to coming to the Residential Program in 2015, I was living a double life. Good, godly Christian exterior in many ways, active in my church and all that. But on the side, behind the scenes, there was a whole secret life of sexual sin. And that life just permeated my inside being with a lot of fear, a lot of anxiety, always trying to lie and cover up things... and shame... the things that I was involved with were just so dark and evil, it was very shameful. And then there was the discouragement that just goes along with constantly living in defeat because I knew it was wrong. And when I came here to the Residential Program is where the Lord started to deal with my heart. I realized that sexual sin wasn't really the issue. I needed like a relationship with God that I thought I had but evidently was just absent because what God started to do was reveal the heart behind all these good works that I was propping my life up with. It's like I built a house that was built on nothing but self-righteousness and pride. And when the Lord revealed that to me and my house started to crumble, I realized that I wasn't nearly as good as I thought I was. And now I was in a much more desperate and serious state to seek the Lord and cry out for help. And in that desperation is when I began to cry out to the Lord because I knew that if anyone was going to help me in this situation it had to be God.

    I was battling with a lot of thoughts of immorality, pornographic images, darkness; I got very desperate and cried out to the Lord for help. And, and one of those times where I was just really battling, I got very sick physically , actually. I had like an experience where I was vomiting, basically dry heaving. And a drop of blood came out after I had vomited. And it was like the Lord spoke to me at that moment, Luke, you will not be able to get through this without my blood. And it was at that point that I really began to appreciate God's love, appreciate his sacrifice, the Cross, what it really meant for me personally. At one point I just remember crying out to him as I was overrun with lust and images and pornographic images. And I just cried out to the Lord for help and he was there, and the images left. And in that whole time, I also realized how much more powerful God was then my sin. Because, not only was the blood sufficient to cover my sin, but it was also more powerful than the enemy and it became very clear to me that God is much more powerful than my sin. And now, you know, I'm so grateful that I'm not in that same bondage, that I'm not in that same turmoil that I was; the fear and the shame of living a double life is gone. And it's a beautiful thing to be free from the bondage of that sexual sin. And I'm so grateful that the Lord... not only did he free me from the sin, but he is still here and able to help me even today with my struggles. So as I continue to learn to walk in an increased poverty of spirit and learn to walk in humility, the Lord meets me every time and I'm really grateful that he is an ever present help in time of need.

Raising kids takes a tremendous amount of time and energy. And to do it well, and to foster spiritual growth in a child's life, requires the right mindset. So we have Mark Shaw back with us to discuss what the components of a good parenting mindset are that will help to plant the seeds for a good spiritual harvest in your child's life.

It's vital to safeguard a child from the virus of sexual sin infecting our culture. So this week, we focus on how the atmosphere of our homes plays a significant part in protecting our kids spiritually. We speak with one Pure Life graduate and his wife about how they are creating a sanctuary to the Lord in their home and what the impact has been in their children’s lives.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Today's episode focuses around the importance of gratitude in our lives. Nate sits down with Pastor Ed Buch and Jordan Yoshimine to discuss topics centered around the theme of gratitude from the Bible. You'll also hear from a number of men and women who have seen God's goodness firsthand through His mercy in their own lives.

Lust is a powerful driving force in the life of any person, and especially in those who battle with sexual addiction. It would seem as though the promise of never stumbling found in 2 Peter, is an unreachable ambition. In this message, Pastor Steve seeks to make real to us the reality of this very great promise and remind us of the conditions that come with that promise.

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It's vital to safeguard a child from the virus of sexual sin infecting our culture. So this week, we focus on how the atmosphere of our homes plays a significant part in protecting our kids spiritually. We speak with one Pure Life graduate and his wife about how they are creating a sanctuary to the Lord in their home and what the impact has been in their children’s lives.

One of our main goals as staff is to create a godly atmosphere on our 45 acre property in Northern Kentucky that allows the men in our residential program to come and meet with Jesus. They work during their time here to support themselves financially, and at the end of a hard day, they need to be able to come to a place that is clean, free of sensuality and worldliness and focused on making Christ the center.

One of the ways we do this is by excluding entertainment from our students and limiting and strictly guarding it in our own lives as staff. But we also seek the Lord’s spiritual protection. Hours are spent every week bathing the ministry in prayer and asking God to be the leader of this ministry and not men.

Recently as part of our parenting series on Purity for Life, we discussed some of the benefits this atmosphere has in the lives of our students with senior counselor Ken Larkin. If you are considering coming to our residential program, then I hope what he has to say will convince you that part of why you are more likely to find freedom here than by staying at home is because of the spiritual atmosphere provided here.

Nate: Ken, you've been at Pure Life for about 15 years now and things have come, and things have gone, as far as the particulars of the community that we have here and the culture of our community. But what I want to talk with you about today is some of the things that we do to foster a godly atmosphere at Pure Life’s Residential Program. We can use the phrase "godly atmosphere" easily because we know what that means, but I want to give people some concrete examples of what we mean by Godly atmosphere. First off I'd just like to ask you, what is it like for you personally, to live in the presence of the Lord like we do here a Pure Life.

Ken: I would say, Nate, it's awesome, you know, to live in this environment, it's such a blessing because this place is bathed prayer and we focus on the Word of God. And it provides an atmosphere that's conducive to seeking the Lord. And with that, you know, the fear of the Lord is in the atmosphere, there's a natural conviction for sin, but also with that, unity in the community and mutual love and support. It fosters you know, the idea of wanting to live in the light, encouraging you to live in the light and repent when you fall short. The other thing that’s a real blessing with this atmosphere is it's a sanctuary where you... you're free from the contamination of the world, from all the worldly influences; you can just come home and be at rest.

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Nate: One thing I've often talked about living out at peaceful Lane is you go out into the world and you're fighting, but then you come home and there's peace. The battle is like removed in a sense because there's not internet at the house. There's not t.v. and radio and all of these worldly atmospheres that you're having to fight against what they're trying to tell you and the atmosphere they want to bring into the house. So it's like a clean environment to come home to.

I want to approach the next question from a couple angles because when you're establishing a godly atmosphere, I think there's 2 parts of it. Number one is there are very practical things that have to be established. And then there's also the spiritual motivations. Patrick and I, when we were talking about this, what we didn't want to communicate is that it's just all about rules. Like now suddenly I've got to have this prison-like atmosphere at home in order for it to be a “godly atmosphere.” From your perspective, what is the heart? What's the motivation behind making this place a clean, spiritual, godly atmosphere for the students?

Ken: Well, if nothing else, it provides an environment where they can get the help they need. Like I said before, it’s the idea of an atmosphere where you feel safe to bring all your stuff out into the open. And we provide an atmosphere that's conducive to seeking the Lord and fostering a relationship with the Lord that's so hard when you're living out in the world when you're already in bondage to sin and you're trying to come out of that.

Nate: So it's really... the motivation, then, is all about helping. Is it ever hard to explain to a counselee “we're doing this for your own good, we're not just trying to beat up on you or punish you; we're trying to help.”?

Ken: Yeah for sure, because any time limitations are put on someone's flesh, and they are used to having their own way, suddenly there's an all-out war against that. So, you know, dispelling the lie of the enemy—that what you're giving up is the real important thing—and realizing that what you're going to gain in your relationship with Christ is infinitely greater than anything you have to give up to have that relationship.

Nate: Yeah, Yeah, that's good. What would you say are the benefits for our students? Like, what do you see developing in our students' lives and their hearts?

Ken: I would say 1st of all just a true knowledge of God is developed within them. They develop personal convictions of what's right and wrong. So they're not gaining that from their culture or even what someone else says. And that conviction as part of their faith will give them the strength to live out what they believe in. It's not someone else's faith now, but this is my faith that I can live out in this culture.

Nate: I mean, Pastor Steve has told us, even on staff, time and time again, that discernment about things is developed as you separate yourself from them, not as you indulge in them.

Ken: Yeah, there has to be an alternative because otherwise they're left to our culture and even worldly, church-minded people that really don't live any different from the culture around us.

Nate: We run a Residential Program and so there are certain things that have to be in place here that you couldn't recreate at home. How do you try to impart to people that the core ideas of separation from the world isn't about a program, but it's about living true Christianity?

Ken: Whether you're in a program or at home, you still need to learn to separate yourself from the world, to avoid ungodly media, too much screen time in general; whether it's music, whether it's sports, entertainment, movies. And have that family altar, you know. The parents should be modeling the fact that they prioritize their own relationship with the Lord. Spending quality time in the Word and prayer, making it part of the family culture that they go to meetings together, go to church together, maybe have a family altar where they can do something simple—especially younger children—at least expose them to the Word of God and prayer.

Nate: None of us should ever put something on other people that we're not willing to do ourselves. At least the principle behind it, like you were saying; none of us should say, "well, you can't watch those movies, but I can." That doesn't, that doesn't make any sense... but it is true to some extent. There are certain things a kid can't do that an adult can do. But it shouldn't be this thing of, "I have the liberty to indulge myself in the world, but you can't because you're a Kid."

Ken: Yeah, the consecration level doesn't change, though the content may change.

Nate: Yeah, that's good. That's what we have to do as, as staff, there are things that we would do, for instance, we only allow the students to go to Wal-Mart once a week, well I might go through or 4 times. But that doesn't mean that the spirit, then, is just I do whatever I want whenever I want because I can.

We’ve had many parents ask us, “What can I do to help my child overcome sexual sin?” But this question begs a deeper one: what is the role of a parent? To help us answer this, we sit down with biblical counselor Mark Shaw who reflects on two decades of counseling and raising four children of his own.