Replay: Humility can't be overestimated. It brings us near to God who alone can save us from the devastating effects of pride.
Replay: One day, Chris and Marissa's marriage came crashing down. But through the power of God, this brought about something beautiful.
Dustin Renz looks at Jeremiah 29 and the plans God has for our lives.
This episode: Sin's consequences often stirs up hard questions. In this episode we'll offer biblical answers to some of these questions.
Surrender begins the process of restoring us into God's image. We often call this sanctification, but I also like to call it preparation.
My dear friend and brother Nate Danser, recently shared a snippet of his testimony entitled “The Christmas that God Saved My Life.” Nate is a member of the Senior Leadership team at Pure Life Ministries, and in the article, he shared his testimony, describing how the Lord had taken him from a life of overwhelming darkness and sin into a life blessed with God’s presence. I was on staff at Pure Life Ministries when Nate arrived in the Residential Program, as well as when he entered the Pure Life Ministries Intern program. I can attest: Nate Danser’s transformation is nothing short of a modern-day miracle.
A few days after Nate’s article was published, I saw him on the Pure Life Ministries campus. I commended him for a great article, then added, “But Nate, you left out the best part!” A bit puzzled by my comment, Nate asked me to write an article about “the best part.” I was happy to do it.
First, some background. Men come into our residential program having spent years or even decades “filling their stomachs with the pods that the swine ate.” (Luke 15:16) Their souls have been so contaminated by prodigal living that they have lost all hope of ever again leading a “normal” Christian life. I know this well, because I was one of them.
For many sexual addicts, the Lord has no choice but to allow them to have the sin of their choosing for a season. Just like the Jews who cried out for meat in the wilderness, the Lord had to give them quail “…until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you.” (Numbers 11:20) When the Lord makes the painful decision to give someone over to his sins, He has one goal in mind: that they would repent, return to Him and finally surrender their life to His control.
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Without full surrender, our lives as Christians cannot truly begin. Because of this, our merciful God sovereignly engineers trials and circumstances to get us to that place where He draws a line in the sand and beckons us to cross, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)
Although surrender is no small order, it is only the beginning. It’s a mystery, but the Lord God, the Creator of the Universe, requires our permission before He will begin the work of restoring us into the image that He created us to be. The biblical term for that process is sanctification, but I have a different word for it: Preparation. I will explain why in a minute.
Sanctification is an intense process, and it is hard work. At times, it seems as if it will never end, and at times, it feels as if there has been no effect. I vividly remember one day years ago, when I marched into Pastor Steve Gallagher’s office intensely frustrated with the process. “Will this ever stop??” I complained. I likened it to having a tooth extracted, painful as that may be, only to find the tooth growing back a few days later, and repeating the process over and over again.
I wasn’t having any fun. Was this all there is to Christianity, I wondered…constantly facing my imperfections and limitations, battling discouragement and moving in and out of despair? Truthfully, there were times when I feared I wasn’t even saved.
But the Holy Spirit is as faithful as He is relentless. When we obey the Bible’s command to “put off the old man that grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts” and “put on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness,” the Holy Spirit faithfully “renews us in the spirit of our minds.” (Ephesians 4:22-24)
Despite the pain, I battled on, thanks only to the Holy Spirit who dwells inside of me. If it weren’t for Him, I would never have made it, and would never have discovered “the Best Part of Christianity.”
Somewhere along the line, after we are battle-tested and have proven faithful in small things, the Lord decides, in His perfect wisdom, that we are ready. Ready for what you may ask?
Ready to begin to be used for the purpose for which He created us.
What a happy day it is when we are ready for kingdom assignments, ready to receive and pass through power from on high. When I was first called into prison ministry, I was thrilled to be able to serve Pure Life Ministries in that capacity, and looked forward to a season of training. As it turned out, sovereignly orchestrated circumstances required that I would have to teach my very first class all alone. My initial response was nothing short of panic, and I prayed like I had never prayed before.
When that awful day came, I drove by myself to a state prison in Indiana, a prison with a sex offender population of over 2,000 inmates. Despite my fear and anxiety, the Lord said things and did things through me that blew me away. After it was over, I was amazed, overcome with joy and humbled that the Lord would and could use me this way.
My life in Him was forever changed that day. Suddenly, it all became crystal clear. Everything that I had endured up to that point was preparation! All the trials and dryness, the confusion, the despair, the acts of denying myself things I never thought I could be rid of; it was all simply preparation for that moment and beyond.
It’s not that sanctification has stopped. Hardly. In many ways, it has become more intense. But when I realize that He is preparing me for my next assignment I can truly “count it as all joy when I fall into various trials…” (James 1:2) Well, at least most of the time.
My first experience in prison ministry was many years ago. Since then, the journey has only gotten richer. I am more and more filled with sheer awe at the God we serve. The joy of my salvation is now real and alive.
Over the last couple of years, when I spend time with Nate Danser and consider all that the Lord is doing through his surrendered life, it amazes and inspires me. There’s a bounce in his step and a supernatural joy in his heart. On the other side of many deep struggles and trials, Nate is walking in God’s divine purpose and calling for his life. Nate is living in the “Best Part of Christianity.”
Reader, are you struggling through a joyless Christianity? If you are, perhaps you are avoiding full surrender and are clinging to “idols of the heart” or some besetting sin. Or maybe you are resisting the Lord’s heavy hand of love, as He tries to conform you and prepare you for the “good works prepared beforehand that you should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)
Be sure of this, the Lord will not send us out to work miracles “in His Name” before we are ready. I am not talking about just being busy with church activity. I am talking about responding to the Lord’s call to go out, and then watching Him work miracles through your life
The “Best Part of Christianity” is being used by God to do things we could never do on our own. The best part of Christianity is being an image-bearer and mercy-doer in the name of Christ. The best and most joy-filled part of Christianity is bearing kingdom fruit for His glory and hearing in the end, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Dear sisters in Christ, please be aware. If you're not careful, you may unwittingly contribute to the sexual sin issue in the Church.
Recent statistics suggest that women are being drawn into life-controlling sexual addiction lifestyles in greater and greater numbers. A surprising 20% of Christian women are addicted to pornography. Even more staggering is the fact that 40% of those struggling with sexual addiction under the age of 35 are women!
What many women don’t realize is that they have been unwittingly contributing to the sexual sin issue in the Church long before these statistics came to be.
Females readers, is your first reaction, “Hey wait a minute here. Are you saying this mess we’re in is the woman’s fault?” Please read on.
Back in his day, the Apostle Paul had heard that a disruption was being caused by women in the church because of what they were wearing. Paul admonished these dear women by writing, “that the women should adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” (1Timothy 2:9 – 10) In this loving rebuke, Paul was trying to discourage women from dressing in a way that was distracting to men and others in their worship services.
Yes, we women can be clueless, or just deceived, on how much we can contribute to the problem.
How much greater is the issue today for women of all ages who have been bombarded for decades with the message of this world that their value comes from their outward appearance and from being seen as attractive and alluring to men. Just check the headlines of the women’s magazines on your next visit to your favorite supermarket.
As I have gone out and spoken to thousands of Christian women at our A Call to Purity Weekends, I have found that many are not aware that their insistence on being “in the current fashion” is causing their brothers to stumble. I can’t tell you how many times, while I am sharing this truth, women begin covering themselves up as I am speaking in the sudden awareness that they were exposing “a little too much skin.” The lights have suddenly come on for them.
Several years ago I was asked to speak at a church event where the leaders set out to confront this important issue in their church. There were about 500 ladies of all different age groups in attendance. The pastors who hosted this event asked some of the men to write letters on how the attire of women in the church affected them. To this day, I can still recall one of those letters.
This gentleman poured his heart out. Church for him was a place of refuge from all the outside influences where he could focus all of his heart on God. To his despair, he repeatedly found his church not to be a “safe” place at all from the lustful suggestions rampant in the world and his workplace. He cited situation after situation: a woman on the worship team in skin tight clothing; a woman sitting next to him in an extremely short skirt; and young women in low cut and halter tops all around. He pleaded, “If you only knew how often the immodest outfits you wear disturb me, perhaps you would see yourself differently. My desire is to honor you; yet there are times that you dress as if you wish I wouldn’t.”
Beloved, when we see and hear these things it should make us want to weep before our God and to cry out to Him in repentance. If we are not, then there is something very wrong in our hearts as the Bride of Christ. The world and its influences have affected us more than we know.
Repeatedly, women in our Wives Program have confessed to me, “Well it’s not my fault if he can’t control his eyes. I should be able to wear whatever I want when I want.”
What we need to consider, beloved, is that God has wired men this way, that men are stimulated by visual images by divine design. When confined to feelings stimulated between husband and wife, this phenomenon works beautifully. On the other hand, when it is misused for purposes other than God’s, it becomes evil and sinful. Why do you think the pornography industry is such a multi-billion dollar enterprise?
When we are more caught up in the world’s ways rather than God’s ways, it is very easy to overlook Paul’s admonition to the church in Romans 14:13. While the context of this Scripture has to do with eating or drinking, it can be applied to anything that causes our brother to stumble, “… resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.” Paul goes on in verse 21, “it is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak.
Sisters, as the Bride of Christ, we must allow the Word of God to govern our lives in this area instead of allowing the world’s standards to sway us. I encourage you to consider how much time you spend “in the world,” as compared to your time in the Word of God. I promise you, when you spend more time in God’s Word, it will cause you to see more as God sees, and to walk in a way that is pleasing in His sight. The words of the psalmist will then become your own, “Your Word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” (Psalms 119:11)
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The Holy Spirit is faithful to show us and convict us of motives that are not pure in our way of dress. He will begin to point out anything that is questionable during shopping sprees and even in our closets. Ask Him to bring that conviction to your heart in order that you might not take advantage of and defraud your brothers in this way. (1 Thessalonians 4:6)
God has called us to possess our vessel (which belongs to Him) in sanctification and honor not in the passion of lust, like those who do not know God. (1 Thessalonians 4:4-5). As you begin to pattern your life according to the Word of God, you will be able to say like Paul, “I have always strived to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.” (Acts 24:16)
Beloved, if this is your heart, I encourage you to take some time to pray. Ask the Lord to show you if there is anything in your life that is causing your brother to stumble. Trust the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart as He has mine so many times when I seek Him in this area. Be open and willing to do all that He reveals.
May God bless you and may Jesus be glorified in your life as you serve Him in all things.
God has been deeply involved with your life since your birth. You have been the focus of an immense heavenly operation for many years.
In 1978, the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, discovered that France had agreed to supply Iraq with 150 pounds of 93-percent-enriched uranium to be used in a 700-megawatt commercial nuclear reactor which France would help build. Ostensibly, this was to be used for peaceful purposes, primarily providing energy for Baghdad. The Israelis suspected Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein had other ideas.
Operation Sphinx was immediately launched and given top priority within the clandestine halls of Mossad headquarters. Eight separate teams of intelligence specialists were assigned to the case. After an initial review of the available information, they chose an Iraqi scientist named Halim as their target. Halim and his wife lived in Paris while working on the project in a French laboratory.
The world famous spy organization quickly went to work. First, a group of operations agents was sent to Paris to act as support staff for the other agents involved in the undertaking. Then field supervisors arrived to oversee the entire project. Next surveillance crews showed up to gather as much information about Halim as possible. A separate crew of specialists was brought in for electronic surveillance that bugged his home and listened to his conversations. And finally, when everything else was in place, the primary contact team arrived to begin their phase of the operation. These were the people who would have direct contact with Halim.
Over the coming months, over fifty Israeli agents were used in this elaborate scheme. By subtly appealing to Halim’s lust for women and money, the Mossad carefully led the Iraqi scientist to the point of willingly giving them information about the Iraqi nuclear complex under construction. In 1981, this information was provided to the Israeli air force which was then able to pinpoint their bombs on the reactor located within the Iraqi power plant. Saddam Hussein’s ability to produce nuclear weapons was destroyed.
The immense effort put into that operation by dozens of specialists, all focused on the life of one man with the purpose of manipulating the events of his life to cause him to make the decision they wanted him to make, is an excellent illustration of the enormity of God’s involvement in the lives of His children.
The fact of the matter is that God has been deeply involved with your life since your birth. You have been the focus of an immense heavenly operation for many years. Who can know the number of angels assigned at various times to watch over you? Who can guess how many people God has used in a myriad of ways to influence and mold your life, to bring you to the point of seeing your great need for Him? How many different circumstances of your life—loss, failures, problems, difficult people — did God use to bring you to that momentous decision? Paul rightly said, “You were bought with a price...” Of course the greatest price paid was on Calvary, but how much else has gone into your salvation?
Unquestionably, God has been intricately involved in the life of every single person who comes to Him; however, coming to God is only the beginning. At this point, the real work begins. Paul said, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first-born among many brethren.” (Romans 8:28-29)
Once God has helped a man come to repentance, the next phase of the operation begins. By utilizing various circumstances that tend to nudge the believer in the right direction — godly teaching and counsel, the lives of mature saints, the conviction of sin, the passion for holiness He plants in the heart, and a host of other elements perfectly tailored for that person’s situation — the Lord is constantly trying to do a work in the believer’s life. Such tireless effort is aimed at making him more like Jesus. It is, if you will, a major Mossad operation going on at all times around a Christian’s daily routine. Just like Halim, most people are completely oblivious to all of this activity.
One of my wife’s most endearing characteristics is her insisting to be involved with me constantly. For instance, when I wake up in the middle of the night (I am a chronic insomniac), her eyes immediately pop open to see what I’m doing. Usually she’s such a good sleeper that she could easily sleep right through the night. And yet, somehow, she always knows when I wake up. She says she can hear my eyelids open! If I get out of bed to read or do something to avoid bothering her, she insists on me staying there, even though turning the light on means she will lose sleep. My wife wants to be involved with everything that goes on with me. It isn’t out of nosiness or out of being insecure about my faithfulness. She simply loves me and is absorbed in every phase of my life. To Kathy, love equates with undying interest.
So it is with God. He has a tremendous investment in every believer’s life and is greatly interested in every aspect of it. He loves His children and it is the joy of His great heart to be involved with the details of their lives. The Psalmist certainly understood this: “Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him, on those who hope for His lovingkindness.” (Psalm 33:18) So did David, who said, “How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand...” (Psalm 139:17-18)
God is intimately and intricately involved in the lives of His people. He is constantly at work in every aspect of their lives. But everything He does is for a purpose. Like the massive and complicated Mossad operation, God is quietly working behind the scenes of our daily lives with a purpose in mind which is of extreme importance to Him.
Unlike the Mossad, the Lord has no desire to hurt, use, or abuse us. When you care about someone, you are careful about how you treat them. The believer isn’t someone to be manipulated into doing what God wants, and then to be thrown away like the Mossad did with Halim. All of the Lord’s efforts are motivated by His immense love for that person.
To properly work in a person’s life, the Lord uses great restraint over everything He does. Too much scolding can crush a man’s spirit. Likewise, excessive leniency could allow him to wander off into unspeakable perils. He has to continually balance everything He does.
Part of the life of victory comes about when the believer can rest in the assurance that God truly loves him, is looking to help him, and is extremely involved in his life. He can make that deep surrender because the Lord has successfully proven His trustworthiness. “Believing in Christ” means that we trust Him. And in the end, isn’t that trust the foundation of all Christian living?
Because we all know situations where the consequences of sexual sin is wreaking havoc on people's lives, we need to be equipped to minister.
As my wife Rose and I have traveled around this country and internationally, we are continually confronted with the sad reality that sexual sin is a spreading cancer in the Church that so often goes undetected. Even when it is recognized, the life threatening prognosis is disregarded.
The fact is, at one time or another, nearly all of us encounter situations where the consequences of sexual sin is wreaking havoc on a person, a marriage, or an entire family. For this reason, we need to be equipped to minister hope and change in such situations.
The root of all sexual sin, no matter the degree, goes much deeper than most who are involved in it understand. Sexual sin is the natural outcome of a divided heart. Jesus said “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matthew 6:24) At its core, sexual sin is a worship issue.
The starting place is always the same. The person trapped in sin desperately needs to find true biblical repentance. This repentance will only come when a person’s heart has changed. Those in sexual addiction desperately needed to see their “struggle” the way God does, as rebellion and sin. This is essential because a person will only quit his destructive behavior when he has truly repented of it in his heart. “Godly sorrow” that “produces a repentance without regret,” (2 Corinthians 7:10) will occur only when the person realizes the error of his ways and surrenders to change.
In his book, Counseling the Sexual Addict, Steve Gallagher breaks down this process of repentance into four basic components:
Steve goes on to advise counselors, “It is vital that you, as a counselor, lead an individual out of habitual sin and into this kind of genuine repentance. He cannot conjure up this experience for himself. He must seek God for it. The counselor’s role is helping the counselee see his need for a radical inward transformation and praying that he receives it.”
Once true repentance has occurred and the person is ready to submit his will to God’s, he (or she) must then be taught what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus. A mature saint must come alongside and lead the way in how to live a life of self-denial and how to walk in the Spirit. We are told in God’s Word to, “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16) This is a very practical thing and is about making biblical choices instead of allowing the flesh to dictate our actions.
This kind of walk with God doesn’t just happen but has to be cultivated. It begins with learning how to spend quality time in His Word and His presence. Yes, excelling in our relationship with God always starts with a rich devotional life. Finding contentment and satisfaction in Christ alone is the key that will unlock the prison door of sexual sin in a person’s heart. Jesus must become our first love and be more desirable than anything this world has to offer, including sex.
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Paul describes this process in Ephesians 4:22-24, “that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.” The sex addict who continually sought his satisfaction from “deceitful lust” should not expect to be able to “put off the old man” without replacing it with the new man, who draws his joy and fulfillment from God. His mind, his entire way of thinking, must be cleansed and “renewed” by reading, studying, meditating and praying over God’s Word.
Furthermore, there must be a radical amputation of every allurement the enemy has used to influence and enslave him to sin. (John 8:34) For most, this means getting rid of or limiting TV, internet, social networking, video games, entertainment, worldly music, and such. In effect, the Devil’s ability to control him must be minimized, and the Lord’s ability to draw and renew him must be maximized. In deciding what to remove or change, an important question must be asked: “Does this bring me closer to God or does it cause spiritual compromise?”
God considers obedience and walking in His way to be the highest form of worship, especially in an area that had been ridden with selfishness and rebellion.
As the sex addict turns away from idols and worships God alone, he will begin to experience the joy and satisfaction of an undivided heart. Only contentment in God will smother the flames of lust.
Jesus has made it all possible through the work of the Cross. It is there we must lead those who are bound in the fetters of sexual sin, and it’s only there where they will find true freedom and victory.
What about the believer who cannot seem to stop his sinful behavior? If he is truly a child of God, why is real victory so elusive?
Sitting side by side in a worn out inner city building are Joe’s Tavern and Sparky’s Adult Books and Novelties. For the bar, weekends are the busiest times, with intoxicated patrons coming and going, laughing, swearing and sometimes fighting. By contrast, the next door neighbor’s clientele slip discreetly into the smut shop, commit their spiritual atrocities, and quietly steal away into the night.
These two businesses perfectly illustrate the “deeds of the flesh” outlined in Galatians 5: “immorality, impurity, sensuality… drunkenness, carousing, and… those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (vss. 19-21)
In biblical terminology, the word “deeds” simply refers to the things people do, while the term “practice” represents the things people do habitually. As John said, “the one who practices sin is of the devil… No one who is born of God practices sin…” (1 John 3:8-9)
Simple enough, but what about the believer who cannot seem to stop his sinful behavior? On numerous occasions, he has really tried to mend his ways. He has thrown out his magazines, installed a filter on his computer and made himself accountable to a buddy. And yet, he finds that there is an irresistible force pulling him back to this seedy part of town. Time and again he caves in to his lower passions. Now he is at the point of complete despair. If he is truly a child of God, why is real victory so elusive?
The secret is found only three verses prior to the list of Galatians 5, where the apostle Paul boldly promises: “If you walk in the Spirit, you will not give in to the lusts of the flesh.” (v. 16) I want to pause and testify that during my 30 years of ministering to men in habitual sexual sin, I have found no evidence to dispute the truth of this statement. Of the thousands of men and hundreds of pastors I have ministered to, not one had truly been walking in the Spirit prior to his fall.
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Let’s return now to our inner-city metaphor. Just upstairs, on the second story of this dilapidated structure, is a Christian coffeehouse named, appropriately enough, “The Upper Room.” There you will find worshipful music filling the air with a heavenly Presence. Earnest saints are studying God’s Word, while others are on their knees, interceding for lost souls.
When a struggling Christian purposes to spend time in such a godly environment, he may still face temptation, but it will become increasingly easier to do right than wrong. To “walk in the Spirit,” means that the person is establishing a spiritual atmosphere in his inner life every day. “Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you…” Paul proclaimed elsewhere. (1 Cor. 6:19)
Yes, down those stairs are still all kinds of alluring temptations—things the man has practiced for years. In his own strength, he does not have the power to overcome those habits. However, by spending an hour everyday in the Upper Room of worship, prayer and Bible study, he finds growing within him a spiritual energy to help him when he himself is weak to temptations.
It is exactly what Jesus meant when He said, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) In essence, the key isn’t so much resisting temptation as much as it is establishing new habits in the basic spiritual disciplines. Being connected with God everyday increases one’s love for Him and, at the same time, weakens the attraction to sin.
Of course, establishing a new habit typically takes two or three weeks. But once it is in place, it becomes increasingly more desirable. He soon discovers that the more he prays, the more he wants to pray.
The world will always present intoxicating, seductive diversions like Joe’s Tavern and Sparky’s Adult Bookstore. Your flesh will always be attracted to such places. Rather than fighting a losing battle on enemy turf, why not make it a habit to spend time in the Upper Room everyday? As you do, you will find yourself becoming increasingly uninterested in what is going on downstairs.
Suddenly I started crying my eyes out, confessing things about myself I wasn't even aware of. To this day I don't remember how it started.
8 years ago, right around this time of year, I was sitting in one of my final counseling sessions, preparing to graduate from the Pure Life Ministries Residential Program. The next thing I knew, I was crying my eyes out, and confessing things about myself that I wasn’t even aware of. To this day, I don’t remember how it started. But God saved my life that night.
In April of 2008, nearly 8 months prior to this, I had driven onto the campus of Pure Life Ministries a hollowed-out shell of a man. Despite having some kind of a religious experience when I was 15, it had been a long time since I had walked in the pathways of God.
I certainly had high expectations for the program. And, on the one hand, I was probably a model student. My chores were always finished on time and I put my heart and soul into the homework. I got along with the other students and tried to work hard while on the job.
But on the other hand, I was deeply troubled. God had been opening my eyes to see the reality of my life, and I was horrified. First, there was the stark truth that I had taken advantage of multiple girlfriends and committed heart adultery with thousands of porn stars. But I was far more deeply disturbed by the discovery that my life bore almost no resemblance to the Bible’s depiction of a true believer.
Far from having a life full of the Spirit’s fruit, I was a gaping hole. I was plagued by unbelief, cynicism, fear, self-centeredness, and on and on.
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Desperation began to grip me. For months I agonized over my condition, but I couldn’t seem to find any way to improve it. No matter how many times I prayed, there didn’t seem to be Anyone listening at the other end. I sought refuge in the Scripture, but my Bible seemed only to contain Scriptures that condemned wicked men. Men just like me.
Despite the agony, I persisted in seeking God, knowing that He was my only hope. I didn’t know if He would have me, but I knew that must I find Him, or die trying.
At some point along the line, things began to improve to some degree. I wasn’t as hopeless. Cynicism wasn’t as deeply-rooted. My thought life was improving. I was even fighting against the temptations of sexual sin, and winning.
Then, 3 weeks before graduating from the program, I accepted a challenge. Pray Psalm 139:23-24 each day until God answers. "Search me," I prayed. "Try me. Test me and know my anxious thoughts, and see if there's any wicked way in me, and lead me in the Everlasting way."
For a couple of weeks or so I prayed this every day. Nothing much happened, but then again, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Maybe that’s why I was so shocked when God answered.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I was sitting in one of my final counseling sessions before graduating the Pure Life Ministries Residential program. Suddenly, words came rushing out of me. I began to break, as I confessed things to my counselor that I hadn’t even consciously thought of before.
“I desperately want to be different,” I told him, “but I am not sure that I actually am different. I see Jesus in so many of the guys around here, but I don’t think I know Him the way I should. I’m afraid that if I graduate next week, I will go right back to my sin.”
I will never forget the look on my counselor's face when I finally looked up. He was obviously as shocked as I was.
The next day he told me that they had decided to extend my graduation for as long as four months. That was fine by me, because I really wanted something to change in my life.
Two weeks later, on New Year’s Eve, 2008, I left the chapel after a Friday teaching video. It was a frigid December night, beautiful and perfectly still. Under a full moon I walked to the old rugged cross that stands near the campus, and I knelt and began to speak to God.
It was simple, desperate, and from my heart. I had spent nearly 8 months here, and what to show for it? I still wasn’t sure I knew God. But then He spoke. And what He said changed my life. Looking back at that exchange, I realize now that it wasn’t the content of the conversation that was so profound, but that Life Himself was speaking to me.
When I awoke the next morning, I knew that God had come to me. And as I reflect on these past 8 years, I know that He has never left.
Addiction is voluntary slavery—against God. In other words, it is not just between us and what we desire, but between us and God.
Scripture reframes all of life. It doesn’t simply offer advice that smooths out the rough spots of life and alleviates problems. It doesn’t merely add a few decorative flourishes to a drab house in need of remodeling. Instead, either gradually or through more sudden cataclysmic means, it transforms us by the work of the Spirit so that we see everything differently.
Take, for example, addiction, a word that is at best unclear. It suggests enslavement but hints that the problem is physical, even genetic. Scripture teaches that addiction is actually voluntary slavery—against God. In other words, addiction is not simply between ourselves and the object of our affection, but between us and God. Also, while we may hate certain features of the slavery, we simultaneously love it and want it.
Scripture summarizes this love-hate paradox under the heading of idolatry. This, of course, is no news to readers of the book, At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry. Idolatry, by definition, captures both the in-control and out-of-control nature of all addictive behavior. That is, we worship idols because we want something from them such as pleasure, power, meaning, safety, prestige or a hundred other desires. We weren’t anticipating that we would be enslaved by the idol; that wasn’t our goal. But when we worship an idol we belong to the idol. We begin to look like the idol – dead and a little less than human. We didn’t realize that the idol was a door into the kingdom of darkness.
The language of idolatry comes predominantly from the OT, the heart of it being captured in the 10th Commandment: “Thou shall not covet.” When we get to the NT, specific references to idolatry become relatively sparse, but the concept is maintained using the term greed. Employing the terms “desire” and “lust,” the NT reveals how much wanting there is both in us and around us.
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The diagnosis of greed is shocking. Think of an immovable 800-pound man surrounded by food that is being shoveled into his cavernous mouth. Think of the desperately alone mogul who cares about no one except the god More. Think Scrooge. Greed, when examined in the light, is disgusting. And worse yet, it is rooted in a double lie – one, that God is not generous and, two, that just a little more will satisfy. The truth is that God is excessive in his love and in the gifts he distributes, whereas addictive behavior leaves us “with a continual lust for more” (Eph.4:19).
The qualifying factor for introducing this way of seeing greed in others is that we have first seen it in ourselves. That is always step one in ministry. Ministers are physicians who have the same disease as their patients. The difference is that they know where to find treatment. So let’s lead the way. Let’s allow Scripture to shine its penetrating light into our own hearts. Let’s highlight our greed in all its nauseating facets, confess it, turn from it and to our generous God, and then walk with others who are sinking under the weight of their own greed.
Scripturally, is there a greater significance or consequence to sexual sin than there is to other sinful activities?
Yes, I believe there is. For one thing, it is an undeniable fact that Scripture emphasizes the need for moral purity through its teachings, commandments and stories. For instance, when Paul listed out the deeds of the flesh in Galatians 5:19-21, the first three had to do with sexual sin. When he did the same in I Corinthians 6:9-10, four out of the first five had to do with immorality.
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A few verses later in that chapter Paul went on to say, “Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, ‘The two shall become one flesh.’…Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.” (I Corinthians 6:16, 18) These last statements show us the reason why sexual sin has a greater significance or consequence than many other transgressions. When two people join themselves in the sexual act, in some inexplicable way a spiritual union takes place between them.
I could give other evidence to support this idea as well. But this whole line of thought brings to mind another important spiritual truth. Man looks on the outward but God looks upon the heart. The natural tendency for religious people is to focus upon obvious, outward sins and overlook the deeper attitudes and motivations that go on inside a person. For instance, those who don’t struggle with sexual sin find it very easy to become self-righteous as they look down on those who do.
I will offer an example of what I am referring to. In Proverbs 6:16, Solomon names seven things that are abominable to the Lord. The very first one mentioned is a haughty look. Pride is one of the most despicable attitudes that the fallen heart can hold. It was pride that caused Lucifer to be cast out of heaven. It was pride that caused David to number the people and brought upon them devastating judgment. It was pride that Jesus denounced in the Pharisees. Yet, how often do we ever hear it talked about from modern pulpits?
Yes, sexual immorality does carry with it grave consequences, but we should also be careful that we don’t fall into the trap of focusing on outward sins and neglecting the heart issues that bring them about.
Hypothetically, if someone were to ask advice on how to stay in sin and still be considered a Christian, this is what I would tell them.
If you want to remain in bondage to sexual sin, secrecy is the key. You want to avoid bringing your sin into the light at all costs. Secrecy is the breeding ground for sin. Do your best to put up a spiritual front to ensure that everyone assumes that you are living a pure life. This is a simple process. You will want to wear a convincing smile on Sunday mornings and make sure that you keep others at a distance. If you can keep your sin private, such as limiting it to fantasy, masturbation and pornography, you should have no problem keeping it out of the public eye. Most church people will not question the sincerity of your relationship with Jesus as long as you blend in with the crowd. Teaching Sunday School or getting involved in ministry is a another way to project a false image toward others, and can even assist in deceiving yourself about your spiritual condition.
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As a Christian in habitual sin, you will want to avoid chapters of the Bible that talk about a true believer’s relationship to sin. For example, you will want to steer clear of Romans 6, in which Paul clearly teaches that we are dead to sin. Also, John’s first epistle should be ignored, because he clearly tells us that believers cannot be in sin (3:6). These portions of Scripture will only cause you to question your true spiritual state. Instead, focus your attention on the grace of God. If you can convince yourself that God’s grace enables you to stay in your sin, as long as you ask forgiveness each time you give in, you will be able to numb the conviction of the Holy Spirit, as well as your conscience.
Since lust is completely self-centered, you will want to make sure that YOU are the number one idol in your life. Do not think about the needs of others—only your own. Deceive yourself into believing that your sin does not affect anyone else. If you are married, try your best to ignore the fact that you are breaking your wife’s heart, whether she is aware of your sin or not. If you have children, do not allow yourself to think about how your sin does and will affect their lives. It is especially crucial that you do not take any time to ponder how your sin is affecting Jesus. Pretend that your sin is not affecting your relationship with Him. Erase from your mind the fact that He died on a cross to set you free from the sin in which you are freely indulging. If you begin to meditate on these truths, you might allow the weight of the guilt and shame you feel to cause you to cry out to Jesus for help. That single action may give Him enough room to begin a work of true repentance in your heart. Then, your addiction to sexual sin will lose its control over your life, and you might find yourself completely free.
All facetiousness aside, if someone were to ask me for advice on how to remain in sin and still consider themselves a Christian, this would be the advice I would give. All I have to do is look at my own journey to discover how each of these areas were strongholds that served to fortify my sinful lifestyle. Maybe you are reading these words because you are looking for answers. Maybe you are sick and tired of playing spiritual games. I would suggest that you bring your sin into the light immediately. I would advise you to confess to abusing God’s grace and stop believing the lie that your sin only affects you. Take a moment to reflect on the reality of sin and its impact on your relationship with God. Then cry out to Him for mercy today! He is waiting to help those who are serious about getting free.
Victory over sin comes through the joint effort of God and the believer. The power of grace is available to all who appropriate it.
Many are familiar with the old expression: “But for the grace of God there go I.” It typically wells up within some grateful believer’s heart when he sees a drunk staggering down the street or some such scene. Although I appreciate the gratitude and humility being expressed, I’ve come to dislike this statement.
Oh, don’t get me wrong! There isn’t a redeemed person alive who doesn’t owe his salvation and freedom to the grace of God. But there is an underlying inference with this statement that the alcoholic, through no fault of his own, has been destined to defeat and damnation because God’s grace didn’t shine upon him. For those who are caught up in habitual sin, this viewpoint can lock them into the fatalistic mindset that their condition is proof that God’s grace is unavailable or somehow inadequate for them.
The truth is that victory over sin comes about through the joint effort of God and the believer. His grace to save us and free us from sin is available to “whosoever will” appropriate it.
One of the great passages of Scripture that really brings this truth out is in Philippians: “Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” (2:12b-13 NLT)
Here we see the perfect balance between the efficacious power of a sovereign God and the personal efforts of His child. What an encouragement to know that God’s might is available to me in my spiritual battles! In my book, Standing Firm Through the Great Apostasy I wrote:
There is a mighty force from heaven that is available to every child of God. The Lord greatly desires for His children to be “clothed with power from on high.” (Luke 24:49) He wants them to know about “the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.” (Ephesians 1:18-19) He wants it to be real that He “has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” (II Timothy 1:7) He longs for believers to taste “the powers of the age to come,” (Hebrews 6:5) and to experience “the power of an indestructible life.” (Hebrews 7:16) He wants them to be “strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might…” (Colossians 1:11) This kind of power is seen in the lives of true saints…
What, but the power of God, can flush the filth out of the heart of a sexual addict and leave innocence and purity in its wake? What else but the Indwelling Spirit can change a hopeless drunk or drug addict into a sober-minded man?...
The great need for Christians today is for the invigorating life of God to flow through their beings, enlightening their minds with spiritual truth, purifying their motives, fortifying their convictions, molding their personalities, solidifying their vacillating wills, sweetening their natures, cleansing and renewing their hearts and subduing their flesh. We need to be revitalized and energized by the quickening power of the Holy Spirit.
“If that kind of power is available,” you might ask, “then why are there so many defeated Christians?” First, I am convinced that there are many evangelicals who have never actually been born again. Just because a person once said the “sinners’ prayer,” attends church services and avoids obvious sin does not mean that he has truly been converted. Pseudo-Christians are those who have made certain alterations in their lives to conform to evangelical standards but have never truly surrendered to Christ. They see many of the demands of Christianity as so many unwanted infringements upon their lives because they feel powerless to live up to them. And they are!
How different it is for the genuine believer. Something dramatic occurs deep within a person when Christ takes up residence in his heart. One of the sure signs of this is that there is power available to live the Christian life because the Spirit of God is indwelling him, compelling him and empowering him unto good works. Unquestionably, a large percentage of “defeated Christians” have simply never crossed the line into real Christianity.
Then there are those who have truly been saved but continue to languish in sin simply because they are still bogged down in behavioral ruts which they have maintained for years. A believer may have the power available to walk in freedom, but if he doesn’t appropriate it, he may remain buried in habit patterns from the past. In another post, (“Only Believe and You Will be Free”) I told the story of an African-American lady alive when Abraham Lincoln issued his famous Emancipation Proclamation. This poor woman was still living as a slave simply because no one told her she was legally free. Once she came to understand that she no longer had to obey her master, she simply walked away from him. Many believers have yet to accept by faith the freedom that has been promised to them.
Another faulty perspective that affects some believers has to do with the will. In his book, The Pursuit of Holiness, Jerry Bridges writes: “Too often we say we are ‘defeated’ by this or that sin. No, we are not defeated; we are simply disobedient!” He goes on to explain that many people use this thinking to avoid the responsibility of obeying Christ. Part of this comes about from a faulty attitude toward the Lord. He writes: “…our attitude toward sin is more self-centered than God centered. We are more concerned about our ‘victory’ over sin than we are about the fact that our sins grieve the heart of God.” As long as Self remains the focus of being free from habitual sin, our motives will remain skewed and we will not be able to tap into the power available to us.
There simply is no avoiding the fact that anyone who desires a victorious Christian life may have one. The Bible makes it perfectly clear that there is a standing offer of freedom as long as we exist in the realm of Time. If someone ignores or rejects the offer, others will not be shaking their heads in pity and saying, “But for the grace of God there go I.” No, if anything, they will affirm the wonderful offer made by God: “Whosoever will!”
My heart can be heavy after speaking with hurting wives. “What do I tell her, Lord?” I pray. “What can I say that will really help?”
My heart is heavy and full after the two telephone calls I received today. The unfortunate truth of the matter is that these were fairly typical of the conversations I engage in regularly at Pure Life Ministries.
The first call I received was from a distraught woman named Julie. Her marriage has been, in her words, “27 years of hell,” misery caused in part by her husband's anger. Like other wives in similar situations, she has vacillated between being rebellious and trying to appease his insane episodes of rage.
A few nights ago, Julie and her husband got into a huge fight because he insisted on going to the grocery store without her. This was so out of character for him that she became suspicious and decided to follow him. Years of confusion and uncertainty were cleared up when she watched him park at a gay bar. When she confronted him later that evening, he admitted that he had been involved in homosexual activity for years.
Julie was devastated, partially because she was completely unaware of his secret life. Having had first-hand experience with the confusion and anguish she was going through, I could understand why she sobbed uncontrollably one minute and was furious the next. When she got off the phone with me, she was still undecided about staying with her husband.
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Brandy, who also called today, is “celebrating” her fifth wedding anniversary while living in a different state than her husband. Despite the fact that Randy is a pastor, he sent her to Wisconsin because he isn't sure he wants to stay married to her. Tension began to mount in their relationship when she discovered he had been viewing Internet pornography and talking with other women in “chat rooms” for several years. When she confronted him, his reaction was anything but contrite: “You’re making a big deal out of nothing!” he told her. “I have to look elsewhere because you don’t satisfy my needs!”
Brandy was so confused. One minute she was angry with him; then she was feeling guilty over the things he has said about her. “I can't live without him!” she finally blurted out.
Counseling women who feel such unbearable pain is very difficult. Even though the Word of God is exactly what these hurting women need, popping off Bible verses can seem trite and insensitive. Every call I receive brings a new tale of heartache and requires careful handling. “What do I tell this one, Lord?” I silently pray. “What can I say that will really help?”
One of the challenges I face during these phone calls is working through the fluctuating emotions and confusion these women are experiencing. The right answers are not necessarily what they want to hear while in this state of mind. They feel hurt, angry, confused, and often wonder why God has allowed this to happen to them. Furthermore, I realize one telephone call is not going to change the damage that has occurred to the marriage, nor will it alleviate the pain.
Most women who call simply want to share their struggles with someone who has been there. Giving them answers, per se, is not necessarily the right thing to do. However, in those cases that warrant it, I try to accomplish two fundamental goals.
My first priority is to get the woman to calm down so that she doesn’t exacerbate the situation with rash or emotional decisions. It is easy for a wife in this situation to be controlled by her emotions. However, it is very important that she base her every decision on the Word of God, the only trustworthy source she has to turn to.
The second thing I want to accomplish is to turn her to Christ in a real way. Jesus described Himself as a fountain of Living Water. It has been my experience that wives who truly get a sight of the Lord gain a completely different perspective on their situation. Even though the pain is still very real, His presence makes the unbearable bearable. Without the Fountain to draw upon, these problems can leave a wife feeling utterly hopeless. Inevitably, she will frantically attempt to hold it all together in her own strength. This approach usually only makes her more miserable.
It is true that the pain can be overwhelming to the point of seeming intolerable, but my personal testimony is that Jesus can take the very worst things and make them better than if they never happened. As Corrie Ten Boom said, “No pit is so deep that He is not deeper still.”
The idea of homosexual Christianity has gained credibility and legitimacy by making inroads into mainline denominations.
It is Sunday morning at the Cathedral of Hope in Dallas. Cars by the hundreds begin filing past Ruth’s Chris Steak House and the local Taco Bell. The parking lot fills, the cars empty and a stream of people—Bibles in hand—make their way into the church. The meeting opens with the congregation vigorously singing the latest Hillsong and Vineyard music. Some raise their hands to God, while others openly weep, caught up in the emotion of the moment. Eventually, Pastor Jo Hudson makes her way to the podium, opens her Bible and brings her Sunday morning sermon. The congregation listens attentively—nearly four thousand openly, avowed homosexuals who sincerely believe they have an intimate relationship with God.
Cathedral of Hope (1) is just one of many homosexual churches representing an increasingly visible cultural phenomenon. With over 43,000 members meeting in 300 congregations around the world, Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) is now a well-established denomination growing at an alarming rate.
MCC was officially founded in Los Angeles in 1968, but its roots actually go back to a tiny, snake-handling Pentecostal church in rural Georgia. For it was there in the early 50’s that a young teenager named Troy Perry received a call from God to preach the gospel. It was also about this same time that he began experimenting with homosexuality. In Troy’s case, it didn’t end there, but instead his secret encounters increased over the next four years.
Believing he needed to be married to fulfill his dream of being a minister, Perry wedded a young church pianist named Gloria, neglecting to inform her about his homosexuality. He also didn’t tell the Bible college he soon enrolled in, nor the small, local congregation who unwittingly hired him as their pastor. Before long the truth came out when it was discovered that he’d had a fling with one of Gloria’s male friends. Church officials put the young couple on a bus and politely asked them to leave town.
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Over the ensuing seven years, Perry continued his deceptive practice of ingratiating himself into the hearts of congregations, while continuing his secret sexual liaisons. Inevitably, people would find out and he and Gloria would once again have to pack up—now also with their two sons—and leave town.
Eventually, he landed in Southern California where he deceived his way into yet another pastorate. One day he happened across a book describing homosexuality; he read it cover to cover three times. Immediately upon setting it down, Troy made the decision in his heart that he was a homosexual and there was nothing he could do to change that fact. To her credit, Gloria had sincerely tried to help her troubled young husband. But the struggle—such as it was—had come to an end and there was no longer any reason to continue the charade. Feeling that he had to be true to his feelings, he put his wife and two boys on a bus back to her hometown, where she would be forced to raise their sons by herself.
During the next five years, Perry worked in retail and threw himself headlong into the gay lifestyle of Southern California. He frequented gay hangouts and multiplied his same-sex encounters. What a relief it must have been to indulge himself in his beloved sin without fear of repercussions.
One night he met a young man named Ben who made him forget all the others: he was in love! They lived together for awhile, but eventually his lover tired of the relationship and broke it off. “In my despair, I felt that I had no choices open to me. There was no tomorrow. There was not even the present. I got up and tried to pull myself together. I opened the medicine cabinet. The first thing I saw was the razor blade. I took it in my hands. I stared at it. This was the instrument of the Angel of Death. I staggered. I managed to get into the tub; I felt totally numb.
Somehow I managed to slowly and deliberately press the blade through the skin and into the flesh of my wrists. The veins popped and yielded up their dark fluid. It was thicker than I expected, and darker. I had physical sensations of numbness growing upon me. I drifted off to sleep, even though I was not at all aware of it.” (2)
The next thing Perry knew he was lying in a hospital bed. However, consciousness and a second chance at life failed to bring relief from his overwhelming sense of despair. He had been crying for three hours when a kindhearted Christian woman pressed a tract into his hand and told him that she cared. Undoubtedly, this was God reaching out to him, which he interpreted as the Lord accepting his homosexuality. Not long after this, another woman “prophetically” informed him that he would be returning to the ministry. This idea haunted him—even excited him.
In the days ahead, a vision formed in his mind of a church—just for homosexuals! By chance, he met Dick Michaels one evening, the man who had recently birthed The Advocate, the nation’s first gay newspaper. He excitedly told the editor about his idea, and Michaels agreed to run an ad for him.
Thus it happened on October 6, 1968 that a dozen people met in Perry’s home for the first service of the Metropolitan Community Church. As word got out, his congregation doubled in size within the first month.
The next two years were a blur of activity for Perry. The demands of his burgeoning congregation increasingly consumed his time until finally he was forced to give up his secular job. The recurring ad coupled with occasional write-ups in The Advocate ensured that a steady stream of curious and searching souls would visit the church. Most had had encounters with Christianity at some point in their lives, but had left the Church disillusioned when it became clear they would have to forego their same-sex attractions. Now there was a man claiming that they could reconcile what they had previously considered an unresolvable conflict: they could be gay and Christian!
As this novel concept gained momentum, other gay Christian leaders emerged. Within two years, new MCC congregations formed in San Francisco, Chicago, San Diego, Phoenix, Honolulu and in Dallas (the Cathedral of Hope).
While Perry continued his ministerial efforts, a sense of outrage began growing within him over what he considered to be society’s injustice toward gays. He became increasingly involved in homosexual activism, fighting for their rights in every arena open to him. In the ensuing years, he led protest marches in Los Angeles and Sacramento, petitioned the National Council of Churches to receive MCC as a denominational member, fought pro-family leaders such as Anita Bryant and Jerry Falwell, and wrote two books: The Lord is My Shepherd and Knows I’m Gay and Don’t Be Afraid Anymore.
Troy Perry has received numerous awards including the Humanitarian Award from the ACLU and an honorary doctorate degree from Sierra University in Santa Monica. However, his crowning achievement came in 1997 during his fourth visit to the White House, when he was included in a select group of religious leaders honored by the Clinton administration.
Perhaps greater than his direct contributions to the “cause celebre,” are those carried out by others who followed in his footsteps. Yes, MCC has grown dramatically since those early days, but more significantly, the idea of homosexual Christianity has gained credibility and legitimacy by making inroads into mainline denominations. Just four years after Perry founded MCC, William Johnson became the first openly gay man to be ordained by a major denomination—the United Church of Christ. Since that time, one social barrier after another has fallen by the wayside as homosexuality, through the new “religion of tolerance,” has continued to gain widespread acceptance within our nation.
A few months ago, the old champion of Christian homosexuality retired from the active leadership of MCC. For 37 years, he worked tirelessly to ease the aching consciences and soothe away the fears of eternally-minded gays.
Unquestionably, Rev. Perry has taken a huge gamble in life. If he is right in what he has advocated over the years, then he is certainly in line to receive a hearty welcome one day when he stands before the Lord. However, if his assumptions have been wrong, he faces the unthinkable eternal consequences of having led thousands of souls astray. He seems quite confident as he bounds toward his appearance before that divine tribunal, assured that a hero’s welcome awaits him… We have our doubts.
(1) Cathedral of Hope began as a MCC church, but later became independent.
(2) Troy Perry, www.mccchurch.org.
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